The Edge of a Dream
by Kadi219
Summary: [Raydor/Flynn] Alternate Universe - Reality came at them like a storm, sweeping across the shore. Looking back, they were only fools, living on the edge of a dream. It is during endings that we reflect on beginnings.
1. Chapter 1

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

 **Warning:** At the urging of my beta, I must tell you: There are feels here. Some of them are good, and others could be, in her words, like "chopping onions". Also – this is rated M for later chapters.

 **A/N:** For the record, this is not my fault. Okay, not _entirely_ my fault. You can all thank **kate04us** for tossing this plot bunny in my cage and then feeding it mega carrots. As always, many thanks to the awesome #sassybeta **narcissanerea** , any remaining errors are all mine, and I'm sure there are many, because only #secretbeta is perfect. All I can do is say… I am so very, very sorry, and please bear with me; this is going to be long, even by my standards.

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

 _ **2017**_

He always hoped that when his moment came, he would be able to look back on his life and see more joy than regret. The trouble with looking back was that he couldn't see one without the other. It was all there, the good and the bad. All of his mistakes, all of his missteps, they were intermixed with every good deed or happy moment. All of the hurt and the pain, it brought him here, it put him in this moment every bit as much as the good times.

Andy Flynn closed his eyes. He drew a breath and felt it rattle through his lungs. He tasted the dirt and the dust, the insulation and plaster that were floating around in the air around him. His chest constricted and hitched, his throat tickled. He coughed, deep and long, and felt the pain of his injuries throb through his body.

His head rolled against the wall behind him. There was sweat on his brow. It itched in his hair, made his eyes and the cuts on his forehead sting. He forced his eyes open again and looked at the radio that was clasped loosely in his hand. It was resting limply against his leg. He was saving his cell battery, using the phone for light to check his injuries. It had only been about twenty minutes since he checked his leg. The bleeding had slowed. His leg wasn't the problem, though. He knew he had some internal injuries. There were at least a couple of broken ribs. His side hurt like a bitch, and from the swelling, he was sure there was some bleeding.

There wasn't going to be a lot of time to get him out of there. Andy knew that there were crews trying, but he wasn't the only person trapped in that building. There were others, probably some hurt a lot worse than he was. He shifted his grip on the radio and lifted it.

"Did you find her yet?" His voice rasped, thick from the pain, but his throat was raw from the coughing and the grit in the air.

Static greeted him across the radio waves between his position and the command center that he knew would be set up outside. He waited, swallowed and coughed again. There were a couple of clicks. His eyes closed at the sound of a familiar voice. For just a moment he could almost believe that he was anywhere else. There was no pain filling his side, there was no unusual numbness in his leg. His head didn't ache and his throat didn't burn. He could be at home, if not for the worry that he heard in her voice.

It laced her tone. She spoke almost haltingly. "I'm here." There was another pause, more static. "I was getting caught up on the situation. _Andy_ …" She whispered his name and it was almost lost in the static of the line.

He could almost see her. He knew that she would close her eyes and look away from the radio in her hand. She would swallow and press her lips together. For just a moment she would breathe slowly; she would collect herself and try to approach the situation without letting him know just how frightened or upset she really was.

"The building fell down. You're all caught up now," he quipped sarcastically. "I'm at the mercy of the LAFD, babe. I think I'm screwed."

She laughed, but the sound was wet and filled with more grief than joy. "They can hear you," she told him. "You should see the looks that I'm getting right now. You may want to be careful, Andy. Some of these guys are going to be at the game next week. They might decide to not go so easy on the old man playing catcher for the LAPD."

Andy barked a laugh. "Honey, the joke is on them. My leg is shot. I'm sending in my relief." He leaned his head back and cleared his throat. He tried to get the thick crud and tickle out, but that wasn't going to happen as long as he was breathing it in. "Talk to me," he muttered.

There was only the whistle of static again. The seconds passed and felt like hours. "We're going to have you out of there soon," she finally said. "They're stabilizing the building as they get people out."

"No." Andy had heard all of that already. It was the same thing that the Fire Chief on the scene had said to him, more than once. " _Talk to me_ ," he said again. "I just wanna hear you." _Before I die_ hung in the air between them. They weren't naïve and foolish. They knew how this was going to end. There was only one way that it could end. It's why she had been fetched, lights and sirens, and brought into an area that the fire department was keeping blocked off, even to cops.

It was hard to breathe. It was hard to even think. Sharon looked at the man beside her. He was tall and thin, hair gray beneath his hat. The fire chief gave her a long, solemn look. They had gotten a run down of his injuries. The Lieutenant told them just how bad he was hurt. He was on the third floor when the building came down. He was stuck in a pocket, under tons of rock and steel, and wood. It was going to be hours before they got to him, and in the meantime, there were other people to get out. They would get to him when they could, but it wasn't looking good.

The Fire Chief nodded once, gravely. "Talk to him," he told her. It would probably be the last time.

She felt gutted. Sharon turned her gaze to the collapsed structure in front of them. It didn't look as if it had ever been anything, least of all an apartment building. Her breath caught in her chest. It burned in her throat. The radio that was in her hand was gripped tightly. She held it between her breasts and hunched slightly. She saw spots behind her eyes before her body finally reacted and she drew air. That breath was ragged, and it almost choked her.

Sharon lifted the radio twice, but didn't know what to say. She looked away from it again and squeezed her eyes closed. She saw images of the life they lived; of the last time that she saw him. Her shoulders hunched, weighted down by regret and pain; her chest ached, but with so much love and need. This couldn't be the end. They thought they had more time. They thought they would be able to fix so many things, repair so much damage. It was slipping away from her now, like the ebbing of the tide when the sun rose.

She exhaled again. Sharon lifted the radio in her shaking hand and turned her back on those that were standing near her. She walked away from them; put distance between their presences and the words that she needed to say. They would hear her with their own radios, but she still craved that illusion of privacy. "I don't want the kids down here, the area is too unstable, but we'll call them. You need to talk to them."

"Yeah." Andy stared into the darkness around him. There were beams of light, at least for now, but not much. He could see the thick air swirling in it. It was something to focus on at least, while he listened to the tremor in her voice. "I will. I wanna hear you right now…" He trailed off as he began coughing again. The pain in his chest made it hard enough to breathe without the constant coughing. "What are you wearing?" He wheezed.

Sharon rolled her eyes at him. Despite the pain, he managed to still be rather predictable. "A suit," she quipped. "Andy, I want you to save your strength. We don't have to do this now. Talk to the kids first."

"No," he told her. "Now is good, before they get here. They've heard us fight enough. Dammit, Sharon. I don't wanna talk to the Commander. I wanna talk to my _wife_."

Her eyes closed again. "You are," she said softly. Whatever else had passed between them, that was still true. "I didn't think…" She shook her head. It was no time for regret or rehashing old pains. "That doesn't matter now. I'm here. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. We'll talk until they get you out."

"It matters." He grimaced in pain. "It all matters, Sharon. It just doesn't change a goddamned thing. You and me, it's what it is. I'm always gonna love you. God…" His eyes closed. His voice broke a little. "I wish I could go back. I wish I could fix it. I'd love you better…"

She pressed her fingers against her lips. Her lashes were wet. The pavement in front of her began to blur with the moisture filling her eyes. "You couldn't love me better, Andy," she had to force her voice above a whisper so that he would hear her over the static. "No one could love me more than you have." She lifted her eyes to the sky; Sharon felt like cursing. He was always the one with the temper, but right now she felt like yelling and stomping, fighting the fates that were forcing this moment upon them. "You deserved better," she said. "I became complacent. I should have listened, Andy… I pushed you away." The truth of it slammed into her with the force of the collapsing building that had buried him alive. "I pushed you away to prove that I didn't need you, and I was blind to it. I was arrogant."

"I was an ass." Her pain was more than he could take. "The truth is that I was an asshole. That never changed. You've known that about me for almost as long as we've known each other, honey. I pushed until you pushed back. I was pissed off at the world and I took it out on you." Andy shook his head. He lowered the radio for a moment. There was more than sweat and dirt stinging his eyes. His jaw clenched against the pain of his mistakes. "I shoulda held on, and I didn't. I shoulda never let go of you."

"We both should have held on," she told him. "I was trying to prove a point. I forgot somewhere along the way that I didn't have to prove it to you. I'm sorry, Andy."

"I can still remember the first time I saw you," he said. The thought came out of nowhere, along with a vision. Andy almost smiled. "I knew you'd be trouble… God almighty, lady, you were the best trouble I ever got into."

It had been too long since they talked about that; too long since she heard him repeat the story of how they'd met. She could almost picture it now. It was a hot summer day, if she remembered correctly, but how could she forget. It was where they began, and if this was how they were going to end, Sharon wanted to wrap herself in the memory. "Tell me…"

 **-TBC-**


	2. Chapter 2

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

 _ **May 1987**_

If the day got any hotter, he thought he might actually melt. The air conditioner was out in his apartment again. Andy had called the building manager twice that week, and had only gotten a vague promise that someone would come by and fix the unit. For now he had a couple of box fans set up and windows raised while he tried to keep the heat inside his place to a minimum. At the moment the apartment was feeling like an oven. Andy had just come off an almost thirty-hour shift. He and his partner had picked up a murder at a grocery store in South-Central. There were witnesses to the aborted robbery, and the scumbag had stolen a car on top of it. He wasn't hard to track down and put behind bars. After they closed the case, Andy had taken a twelve-hour shift in patrol, something he was doing more of these days for extra cash.

He was quickly finding out that making a living was harder to do while he was supporting two households. He and Sandra came to an agreement when Charlie was born that she wouldn't go back to work until their son was in school. Sandra had kicked his sorry ass out last year and filed for divorce almost six months later. She told him to dry out, get sober, and come home. Andy hadn't done that, and now he was paying the price in the form of child-support and alimony. He didn't mind supporting their kid, and now that he wasn't drinking anymore, he didn't really mind paying Sandra the alimony either. It was better for Charlie to have her around full-time, at least right now. Their original agreement could stand. Although, Andy had a feeling that when she went back to work, Sandra wasn't going to give up the alimony payments.

The only way that Andy could afford to pay her and keep a roof over his own head was to work the extra shifts. It meant that he didn't get a whole lot of sleep, but at least if he was busy he wasn't drinking. Maybe that was scamming the program a little bit, but it was working. He'd been sober for six months now, thanks to a sixty-day rehab program that the court had ordered in the divorce settlement. It probably hadn't helped that he showed up for their final hearing with a hangover and smelling like a brewery.

If Andy had any hope at all of getting visitation with Charlie, he knew that he'd have to prove that he could stay sober. He was doing his best. That meant making all his payments on time, working the extra shifts, and pissing in a cup at random intervals when the social worker showed up to make him do it. Sometimes he wondered if Sandra was just busting his balls, but then he thought back to how he acted when he was drinking. He could be a mean son-of-a-bitch. He never laid a hand on either one of them, but he was a bastard and he knew it. Sandra was probably right; it was probably better for Charlie if he didn't see his dad like this.

That didn't make the situation any easier. Andy hadn't seen Charlie since his ex-wife kicked him out, at least not up close. He had gone by the park when he knew they would be there. He saw his kid from a distance. His boy was growing up and changing so fast. He was missing it all. Rumor had it that Sandra was thinking about signing him up for t-ball in the spring. Charlie would be four, just the right age. Andy could only pray that by then he would have some kind of court-allowed access. He didn't want to lose any more time with Charlie, and he was afraid that his son would forget him.

In the meantime, he was tired as hell, and melting in the heat. After his shift Andy had taken a cool shower, and then he had sprawled out across his bed, no blankets, no pillows, and only a sheet to cover the mattress. He lay naked for a while, managed to nap a little bit, at least until the heat got too bad to ignore. Then, reluctantly, he rolled out of bed.

Andy slipped on a pair of gym shorts and let them ride low on his hips. He got himself a glass of ice water and slipped his feet into a pair of flip-flops before stepping out of the apartment. The stoop of his second floor place was inside a shaded alcove. It was still hot as hell, but there was a breeze, and that made it better than his apartment in his opinion.

He shared the alcove with another unit, the apartment across from his. Andy walked to the end and stepped around the metal stairwell. The building was three levels, so he lived with a unit above and below, which only added to how well insulated his place was. Without the air condition, he was definitely baking. Andy leaned against the metal rail and looked out over the complex. There was another building with six apartments across a small courtyard. There was a decent looking garden down there, with a fountain as its focal point. Andy was thinking about climbing into the fountain and waiting for the building manager to show up. Maybe if he made a nuisance of himself the asshole would get a move on. Or he'd get evicted. It probably wasn't such a good idea, all things considered, but he didn't know how much more of this heat he could handle.

While he stood there, the courtyard gate opened and a woman stepped inside the tall, iron fence. This place wasn't much, but it was secure, and it was clean. He watched her cross the courtyard and walk toward the other building. The first thing he noticed was her legs; he had always been a legman, it drove his ex-wife crazy when they were still together. He wasn't very keen to think about Sandra at the moment. He was too busy looking at a pair of long, well toned legs that seemed to go on forever. She was wearing a pair of white shorts that hugged her form perfectly, and that did little to avert his gaze. Andy grinned into his water glass.

If the heat had to be hell, at least the scenery was worth looking at. He let his eyes move up her form, over the pink polo shirt to the simple ponytail that was holding thick, dark hair off her neck. Andy squinted against the afternoon sunlight as he leaned further over the rail. She was also juggling two bags of groceries, a diaper bag, and a kid. Andy had never seen her before, but that didn't mean a lot, not with the hours that he was working. He didn't pay a whole lot of attention to his neighbors, and would keep it that way as long as no one was breaking the law.

Andy frowned when the woman seemed to lose her grip on one of the grocery bags. He pushed away from the rail and started down the stairs when it slipped out of her grasp. By the time he got down to the ground level, she was squatting, the baby still on her hip, and trying to gather the oranges that had scattered across the stone walkway. "I'll get it," he told her. He flashed a friendly grin when she just blinked up at him. Andy set his water glass on the ledge of the fountain and bent down to begin picking up the escaped fruit.

"It's really okay," she told him. "I can manage." The baby in her arms fussed. It was well past her naptime. She bounced her against her hip and crooned quietly. "It's no problem, honestly. I can just come back down and get the rest." She didn't even know where he had come from, and she was acutely aware of the fact that she was alone, with a small child, and he was barely half-dressed.

"Don't bother." Andy pulled the paper grocery sack over and began putting the oranges back in it. There was also a dropped bundle of celery and a plastic jar of peanut butter. "I'm Andy, by the way. I live over there," He jerked his head toward the building behind them. "I'm in the unit above the Clarkes.

She stood up, and was still watching him warily. "You really don't need to do this. I appreciate the thought, but I can come back for it. I should get my daughter inside. It's past her usual naptime, and with the heat—"

"Oh, I know about the heat. The A/C is out at my place." He glanced down at himself and chuckled. "Which I guess is what you're worried about right now. Don't worry, I usually wear a little more than this around here." He put the last of the spilled groceries back in the bag and lifted it as he stood. This was exactly the kind of thing he and his fellow-cops tried to warn women about. "Tell you what," he told her, "I'm just going to carry these over there," he nodded toward the stairs. "You can stay here. When I'm done, I'll go back upstairs to my oven, and you can get your little girl settled. Okay?"

He was being exceptionally kind. If she was being honest with herself, her instincts weren't warning her off him. Still, she knew that she couldn't be too cautious, especially considering that she didn't walk around the city with her gun in Emily's diaper bag. She weighed her options for a moment and finally sighed. "Thank you," she said, manners insisting that she at least be civil to him. "I'm Sharon," she decided to tell him that much.

"Well, _Sharon_ ," he smiled as he said her name. "I'll be out of your hair in a minute." He glanced at the little girl who was beginning to move beyond fussy and right into disgruntled. "Probably not a minute too soon," he said knowingly. The baby couldn't be much older than one, and he remembered Charlie at that age. His son was a bear if he missed his naptime. Andy picked up the second grocery bag. "Just wait right here. Don't follow me," he warned, teasing her just a bit. She was smart. It seemed like she was used to being on her own, or at least resigned to it. He didn't see a ring, but Andy knew that didn't mean anything. Sandra couldn't wear hers until Charlie was almost two. At first her hands had swollen while she was pregnant, and then after he was born, she found it fit a little snug until she lost all of the baby weight. Sandra hadn't wanted to lose it so she kept it put away in her jewelry box until it fit comfortably again.

Sharon watched the half-naked man carry her groceries upstairs and fought the urge to smile. He was certainly charming. She reminded herself that charming men were to be avoided. Just because he was handsome and seemed nice didn't mean that he wasn't a threat, in one way or another. She learned that lesson all too well in the last year. She looked at Emily, who was still unhappy and pressed a kiss to her daughter's brow. "I know honey, I don't like being outside right now either." The heat was part of what had her daughter upset. Emily was usually a very pleasant baby; Sharon knew that she would be happy again as soon as she had her upstairs, bathed, and down for her nap.

She bounced the baby against her hip and peppered her pink, sweaty face with kisses. Emily whined as she laid her head against her mother's shoulder. She reached out her hand toward the upper level of the building. "Baaaf…" she complained.

"I know, baby. Soon," she promised. Sharon turned her attention back to the man who had carried their groceries and watched him return. "Thank you," she said again.

"You're welcome." He flashed another grin as he walked past her. Andy didn't linger. He could hear the baby whining, and unsettling the mother defeated the whole point, which was helping them out. He grabbed his water glass as he passed the fountain. The ice had melted, but it was still plenty cool. "Have a good day, ma'am." He tossed off a simple salute and started back up the stairs to his own apartment.

Sharon turned. She watched him until he stepped into the apartment he told her belonged to him. That much, it seemed, had been true. She shook her head again, reminded herself that looks could be deceiving, and walked toward her own apartment. At the moment, she wanted nothing more than to get herself and Emily out of the heat.

Andy watched them from the window over his kitchen sink. He wasn't trying to spy on her now, but he had added ice to his glass and then decided to douse his head under the faucet to help with the heat. While he pushed water and wet hair back from his face, he watched her go into an apartment on the second floor of the other building. She stepped out again a minute later, without the baby, to retrieve the groceries. Andy shook his head and pushed his hand through his hair again. He turned away from the window and the sink. It was time to call the damned building manager again. If he didn't show up soon, Andy was tempted to hunt him down and haul him back; standing over the guy in uniform until the air conditioner got fixed was starting to sound good.

That could only mean that he had been in the heat too long. Andy turned one of his box fans toward his couch and sprawled out on it. If he was lucky, he might get another couple of hours of sleep before his next shift.

It was a while before Andy saw the pretty woman from across the courtyard again. He was starting to wonder if she had moved out, too scared of the half-naked man living in her complex to risk staying there another day. He also reminded himself that he had been doing a lot of doubles. He had only had a single day off in the last nine, working Robbery-Homicide during the day, and driving patrol at night. The air conditioner in his unit was finally fixed, though. It had only taken another two days after he first encountered the woman and her kid to get it done.

Andy had decided to take a night off. Or rather, his captain called him out for being an irritable jerk and told him to take the weekend off. Harris knew that he was pulling the extra shifts; Andy had to get it cleared with his commanding officer before he could do it. All those extra shifts were beginning to affect his day job, though, so he was being told to cut back. It was just temporary until he got caught up on some sleep, and just as well. He didn't think he could do another long night. All he wanted at the moment was a long, hot shower and to fall into bed.

When he saw the woman this time, she was leaving the courtyard as he entered. She had her daughter balanced on her hip, while the straps of her purse and diaper bag were hanging from the opposite shoulder. Andy pulled the gate open and held it for her. At least he was dressed, he thought, and offered a smile as he stood out of her way. "Sharon, right?"

She was a little startled at first. It took her a moment to place the man that was standing in front of her in a suit shirt and trousers with the barely clothed individual who had helped her a while back. "Yes." Her head tilted as she moved through the gate. His tie was loosened, and he had his jacket thrown over his shoulder. "Andy, correct?" When his grin widened, Sharon decided she must be right. "Thank you again," she nodded to the gate. He had a very nice smile, she realized, and while his suit didn't look very expensive, it was still a far cry from the gym shorts that he was wearing the first time they encountered one another.

"It's not a problem." He glanced around them. She had keys in her hand, which meant there was probably a car to go with them. "It's a little late to be going out, isn't it?" The sun was already going down, and he knew a little too well just what this city was like at night.

Her brow arched at his tone. Sharon supposed that it might be, but it wasn't any of his business. She could certainly take care of herself, and her daughter. Her chin lifted as she drew herself up. "Not that it's really an issue," she stated, her desire to remain civil kept her from telling him that it was also none of his concern, "but I'm on my way to work." Sharon was going to be on nights for a few weeks; she wasn't entirely thrilled about it, but she had drawn the short straw this month. Emily was going to be staying with a sitter while she worked, but the stranger with the nice smile didn't need to know that either.

He managed to poke a sore spot. Andy winced slightly. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I just… it can get pretty rough out there at night, that's all. Not my business," he said, recognizing that easily enough. She just seemed like a nice lady with a cute kid. He noticed she was wearing a ring this time, though. He wondered where the hell her husband was that she was pulling night shifts and having to take her kid out to a sitter, but again, that wasn't his problem to worry about. He had enough things on his plate. Andy waited until they cleared the gate before he stepped into the courtyard. "Have a good one, Sharon."

She sighed. He had closed off, sounded a little annoyed with her suddenly. Maybe she had come across as a little too frosty; she was told that she could have that effect. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, Sharon pushed it aside. She didn't know the man, and she didn't owe him any explanations. Aside from basic civility and good manners, there was nothing at all that she was required to provide him. As he said, it wasn't his business. "You too, Andy," she nodded crisply and made her way down the short walkway toward the parking lot behind their complex. She was already running behind schedule and if she lingered any longer, she would be late to work.

Andy stopped and watched them go. When they were out of sight, he shook his head and walked across the courtyard to his building. He slapped his mail, which he had picked up from the box outside the gate, against his leg as he made his way up the stairs. She was a good-looking woman, he thought, but damn she was prickly.

He decided, before he reached his apartment, that it was good if they didn't get along so great. She had on a ring, and he was told not to even try dating anyone the first year he was sober. His sponsor suggested he wait two years, but said that one was what the program recommended. Since Andy was determined to stay sober, he was going to listen to that advice. He didn't need a bossy woman; no matter how great her legs were, shaking up his life right now.

Once he was in his apartment, Andy tossed his mail on the counter. He laid his gun holster, which had been under his jacket, on the counter beside his mail. His badge joined it a minute later. He walked around the kitchen, poured a bowl of cold cereal that would suffice as his dinner, and ate it while he went through the mail.

He lost his appetite pretty quickly. The second letter he opened was a response from his lawyer on his request to get his visitation hearing pushed up. They were supposed to go back to court in the fall. Andy didn't want to wait that long. He got his lawyer to petition for an earlier hearing. All of his drug screenings had been clean. He could prove he wasn't drinking. He had done the ordered rehab, and he was keeping a job and an apartment. Andy wanted to see his kid.

The court had turned them down. They were going to have to wait until some time in October before the custody arrangement would be reconsidered. Andy's lawyer told him not to expect anything more than supervised visitation at first, but at least that would be something. He just couldn't stand the idea of waiting another few months before he would be allowed to see Charlie again.

No longer hungry, Andy tossed the letter onto the counter and put his bowl in the sink. He locked up the apartment and made his way down the hall. It was nights like this one when he wanted a drink so bad he could taste the bourbon. He ignored it. He knew the burn in the back of his throat was anger and disappointment, and not some phantom whiskey burn that would warm him through. That crap was the reason that he was in this mess.

He got himself undressed and into the shower. He turned the water on as hot as he could stand it, then he let the steaming spray beat down on him. He let it sting his skin, flush his normally tan complexion red. He washed up quickly, but stood in the shower until the water began to run cold. By the time he got out, the pounding in his head wasn't quite so prominent. The immediate urge for a drink had started to recede, although it remained in the back of his mind. Andy ignored it and crawled into bed.

Sleep didn't come so easily. Even as tired as he was, he couldn't seem to stop thinking about all of the things that Charlie was learning without him. He imagined all of the ways that he was growing and changing. By the time he saw his kid again, he wasn't even going to know who he was. He could get pissed at Sandra. He _wanted_ to be pissed at her, but she hadn't tossed him out on a whim.

He wasn't even ready to have a kid. They only did it because his mother wanted grandkids while she was still young enough to enjoy them. After the baby arrived, money was tight and he was working all the time. He took the detective's exam so he could get a pay raise, but nothing prepared him for the shit that he saw working homicide. He already liked to drink before that, but it got worse with every case. That was no excuse, but just how it happened. By the time Charlie was a year old, he was spending more time in a bar than he was at home.

How could he take all the crap that he dealt with every day home to his wife and kid? And when he did get home, the baby was teething, Sandra was tired and didn't want to deal with his problems. None of it was their fault, it was him. He knew that. He was the one acting like an asshole. Sandra gave him every opportunity to get his act together. He didn't do it. He couldn't really blame her for giving him the boot; she warned him, so many times. Andy just wouldn't listen. He didn't believe she would actually do it.

Even getting tossed out of his house didn't knock any sense into him. It took a judge telling him that he didn't have the right to see his own kid to wake him up and make him realize what he was doing. Now he was fighting an uphill battle, and having his hearing denied was the first big loss on his way back. He wasn't going to give up though. Andy didn't know what he would do until his visitation rights were restored, but he wasn't going to stop trying. He had already failed as a father once, it wouldn't happen again.

 **-TBC-**


	3. Chapter 3

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 3**

Andy only took the weekend off because his Captain made him. By the next week, he was chomping to get back to pulling his double shifts. There just wasn't a lot for a person to do when they lived alone and were trying to avoid all the places where temptation would be too much. He had some buddies try to get him to come out to the old watering holes, but Andy put them off. His partner, Ray, had invited him out to watch a ballgame at his place, and that was nice for a little while. Ray had a wife, though, and kids, and that just reminded him of what his life would be like if he hadn't screwed it up. He appreciated the thought though, and they might've had a good time, but Andy decided that work was better for him.

Five extra shifts a week, that's what his boss was limiting him to. He could do three during the regular workweek, and the others on the weekend. Andy had a feeling that his Captain was worried that he would get strung out and start drinking again, so he didn't argue the point. Captain Harris was good people. He could have put his sorry ass on report, tossed him at IA a number of times for coming to work with a hangover or having liquor on his breath. He had only told him to straighten up his shit, and when Andy went to rehab, he kept his job waiting on him and wrote it up as a personal, family leave. He owed the man his badge, so if five extra shifts a week were all he was going to be allowed to work, that's what he would do.

Andy glanced at the kid that was riding with him that night. It was his second shift of the week, and O'Hare, the sergeant in charge of assigning his patrol beat, tended to put him with rookies. The kid was fresh faced, eager. He had only been out of the Academy for a few months. Andy was having a hard time believing that he had ever been that young. He was only thirty-one, but some days, he felt a hell of a lot older.

He shook his head as the radio in their car went off. The kid looked at it, and then at him. He wondered who had been in charge of doing the kid's training run. He was too damned timid, and that would get him killed out here. Andy reached over and picked up the car's radio unit. "Dispatch, this is car 5212, go ahead."

The radio crackled when the dispatch officer at the office in Central replied. "5212 we have a unit responding to a car accident at Wilshire and Alvarado. Request additional units at that location for traffic and crowd support."

Car accidents. Andy grimaced. Geez he hated working accidents. He sighed before he responded. "Copy that, dispatch. 5212 responding to location at Wilshire and Alvarado; we're about eight minutes out."

"Copy 5212."

Andy looked over at the kid beside him as he put the radio back. "You can answer that," he told him. "I'm not going to bite your head off. If I'm driving, I need you paying attention to all the peripheral stuff that's going on," he waved his hand in a circle as he spoke, "that includes the radio. Got it?"

The officer, who looked like he was about ten years his junior, nodded. "I've got it." His training officer had told him to watch and listen, do what he was told. He guessed that wasn't the case here. "You don't seem happy about going out to an accident site?" He asked carefully, still not wanting to step on any toes, but curious about the older officer's reaction.

"Seen my share of 'em, that's all." Andy turned the car toward their destination. He glanced at the kid beside him and sighed again. "We all start out in patrol, right? We hit the Academy, and then after that, it's off to Patrol for a few years, and then wherever. Some of us stay in patrol; some of us take the exams and go off to other divisions, or crap out all together. I'm Robbery-Homicide," he explained, and wasn't sure if the rookie had already been told that. "Before that, I drove a car and worked a beat around the city for several years. I saw enough wrecks to last me a while. Some of 'em are simple, but a lot aren't. Don't let anyone tell you that you get used to it," he looked at the kid again, "that never happens." He thought getting out of patrol would be better for him, maybe it was, he saw a lot of shit now, but his nights weren't haunted with the sounds of mothers screaming, clinging to him while their dead children were pulled out of heaps of twisted metal.

"That's…" He stopped and paused for a minute. The rookie shook his head. "My training officer explained it a little differently. He told me to get used to it fast, get a thick skin, or I would burn out. He said the only way to survive out here was to not let it get to you."

"He's an idiot." Andy snorted. "Ask anyone man, when you stop letting it get to you, that's when it's time to stop being a cop. If we don't give a shit, who in the city will?" He shook his head. This damned rook didn't know anything. "Look, I don't know who you're with tomorrow night, but I'm going to get O'Hare to put you with me when I'm on shift. Sounds like you rode with Rollings. He's long past being done." The rookie didn't respond, but Andy read his body language in the affirmative. "Forget anything that asshole told you. We'll get you paired off with a decent cop. Geez, I can't believe they're still letting Rollings have rookies." He swore under his breath. That old son of a bitch deserved to have lost his badge a long time ago. There were rumors that he was dirty. He was really surprised that O'Hare assigned the rook to him anyway, considering how racist everyone in the department knew Rollings was. A young Asian kid would have been prime pickings for that bastard.

He didn't really know what to say. He shifted in his seat, studied the man beside him. Finally, he nodded. "Okay. Thank you. I appreciate that." He couldn't say that everything he was told on his training run jived with what he learned in the Academy, or what was in his manual. If nothing else, he figured that he could pick up some extra pointers from the other cop. "This is definitely different than my last job," he pointed out. When the other officer looked at him, he shrugged. "I guess it wasn't really a job, but it was close enough. I was in medical school."

"Really?" His brows shot up. Then his eyes narrowed. "How old are you?" He thought the guy had to be barely twenty-one, just old enough to have gone to the Academy.

"Twenty-six." He grinned. "Don't worry, I get that a lot. I'm thinking of growing a mustache." He shifted in his seat, looked out the window. "I got tired of seeing holes in young people pretty fast. I wanted to stop it from happening before they got to the hospital."

"I don't know how much of that you'll get to do," Andy said honestly. "We get to be the good guys, but a lot of times, it's over before we can get to the scene." That was, he decided, as good a reason as any for someone to want to be a cop. He realized now, the other guy wasn't timid at all. He had mistaken being quiet and reserved for overall hesitation. He figured the guy must have been feeling him out as much as Andy was trying to get a read on him.

They pulled on to the accident scene a couple of minutes later. There were two units and an ambulance already on scene. A fire truck was parked diagonally across the street, obscuring their view of the cars involved in the wreck. Andy put the car in park and turned it off. "Okay, let's go to work." He reached up and flipped on his shoulder radio as they left the car. Traffic was already being coordinated by two of the officers on scene. Andy walked toward the accident site with his rookie trailing behind him. They got a good look at it when they rounded the fire truck.

He could see that there was another ambulance on scene as they got closer. There were three cars involved. The front end of a Buick was smashed in; it looked like it had t-boned a second car. The third car, a pick-up, had struck the back of the second vehicle. The bumper was smashed in, and the headlights were gone, but aside from some buckling to the hood, it wasn't terribly destroyed. Andy looked around the scene, spotted a fireman. "Who's the scene supervisor?"

The fireman waved as he continued walking back toward the truck for more equipment. "Over there."

Andy looked in the direction that he had pointed. He spotted Sergeant Richard Anderson, a middle-aged officer who had been on patrol for as long as Andy had been with the department. He was a good cop, steady on scenes like this one. Andy strode toward him. "Sergeant, where do you need us?"

Anderson turned from where he was taking a witness statement and glanced over the two newcomers. He knew Flynn, but the kid was new. He nodded to the rookie. "Training run?"

"He's been around," Andy replied, "but he's still a little green. Tao, this is Anderson, what he says is gospel on these streets. He swears he's only forty, but I think it's a lie. I think he's been part of this city longer than Beverly Hills, you can learn something from him."

"Yeah, and the first thing I'm going to tell you," Anderson quipped back, "is that Flynn is full of crap." He shook his head at them. "We've got one pinned in the Buick, LAFD is working on getting him out. I'm pretty sure he's tanked. They're working on the driver from the second car over there," he nodded to where paramedics were trying to stabilize the woman. "It's not looking great. The guy from the truck has a bump on his head. He's going to need some stitches, but we think he's okay. Medics are going to take him in just to make sure. I could use some help getting witness statements. The woman in the station wagon had a kid with her. Kid is okay, but I've got my partner keeping an eye on her. She's giving me the stink-eye though, my partner, not the kid. So you might put the rook on kid duty and let her get back to her real job." He rolled his eyes as he said it.

Andy snorted quietly. Beside him, Tao's eyes had widened. "Don't worry, Anderson isn't a chauvinist. He just doesn't like kids. He's not good with them either. The story goes, he played Santa down at one of the shelters one year, all the kids cried. The shelter begged them to send anyone but him the next year."

"Know your limitations," the Sergeant told them. "I'm going to get back to this. It's pretty clear the guy in the Buick ran the light, but we gotta be sure, especially if the pretty lady with the kid doesn't make it."

"Yeah, I hear ya." Andy sighed again. "Shit, I hate accidents." He shook his head again. "Okay, come on rookie. Let's go do what we can for these people." They walked toward the sidewalk, where another officer was sitting with a little girl. The kid didn't look to be any older than about five or six. There was a bruise on her cheek, but she seemed to be okay, physically anyway. "Normally," he explained to Tao, "I'd get you to take some statements. It's good to learn now, but if this is looking like it may turn into a vehicle homicide," he spoke quietly, so the kid wouldn't hear them, "we gotta get it right, no offense."

"None taken," he said solemnly. This wasn't the kind of case that he would want his inexperience to screw up. "I'm good with keeping an eye on the little girl. It's okay."

"Good, that's what I like to hear." Andy waved him over. "Officer…" He didn't know the cop's name. As the woman stood up and turned, he felt his jaw going slack and his eyes widening. Her dark hair was pulled back in a bun; it was a more severe style than he had seen in either of the past two meetings. The uniform fit her well, but that wasn't a surprise. Seeing her in uniform was what had him going dumbstruck. "You."

"Me." She was surprised to see him too. Sharon wasn't sure what she thought he might do for a living, since the only time she saw him fully clothed he was wearing a suit. This certainly wasn't one of her guesses. She decided that his attitude made a little sense now, even if it still chaffed, a week later. She might be a woman, living alone with a small child, but she was more than capable of taking care of herself. Her eyes flickered over his uniform to his nameplate. "Officer Flynn, can I assume that one of you is here to take over?"

Her crisp tone shook him out of his stupor. Andy nodded. "Yeah, this is Mike Tao, he's going to sit with our young friend until someone comes to pick her up."

Her eyes traveled to his partner. Young, but he had a nice smile. That would do nicely in this situation. Sharon knelt back down in front of the little girl. She had gotten her to stop crying, but it was a tenuous situation. "Holly, these are my friends Andy and Mike. They're police officers too. Mike is going to stay with you while Andy and I go and help your mom," she spoke kindly, in the same soft tone that she would use with Emily. "I'm going to come back and check on you before your aunt gets here. Can you be brave for Mike, like you were for me?"

Holly looked up at them. She had big blue eyes under a fringe of sandy blond curls. She looked from one officer to another before she nodded. "Is she coming soon?"

"Very soon," Sharon told her. "One of my friends has already called her. Your aunt is going to pick you up, and the paramedics are going to take your mom to see the doctor," she reminded her. "I'll see you again before you leave."

"Okay." Holly nodded, and wrapped her arms around her knees, hugging them tightly.

Sharon rose again and turned back to the other two officers. "We called Holly's aunt," she explained in a quiet voice. "Her father is out of town on business. The aunt is going to get in contact with him. Her name is Marissa Lee; she was coming from Long Beach, so it's going to be another forty-five minutes, at least, before she arrives."

"Holly and I will let you know when she gets here," Mike told her. He stepped around Sharon and Andy and sat down on the curb. "Hi there, Holly. I'm Mike…"

Andy and Sharon moved away from them as they got acquainted. "So," he nodded to her uniform. "You're a cop. I wouldn't have guessed that."

Her brows rose, while her lips thinned. "Oh?" Sexism ran rampant through the department. Sharon was used to being undermined and underestimated. "Why is that so surprising?" She asked, ready to hear the same string of nonsense from him that she heard from other officers with his attitude.

Yeah, Andy decided, she was prickly alright. He flashed a crooked grin at her. "Well, I was going to say that you're too nice, but now I'm changing my mind." He stood facing her, and put his hands on his hips. "I've just not seen you around, that's all." He leaned close, "it's not because you're a woman, so maybe stop giving me that mean look, okay?"

Sharon's eyes narrowed slightly. Her lips pursed while she considered him. He was trying to disarm her. She reminded herself, again, that charming men with devilish grins were nothing but trouble. "Well, I have to admit," she warmed a little, but kept her tone even, "I wouldn't have pegged you as the type either." When his brows climbed in askance, her head tilted. "Too many clothes."

He'd have laughed if they weren't standing in the middle of a terrible accident scene. His eyes sparkled instead. "Yeah, well, I told you I normally wear more than that. Now maybe you won't run away scared the next time I help you pick up your groceries." Andy looked around. "We better get to work. I guess I'll see you around Officer…" He glanced at her tag, and did it quickly so she wouldn't think he was copping a look at anything else, "Raydor."

"Flynn." She nodded at him. Sharon watched him turn and walk away from her. Something about his manner, that easy smile, had a bit of the devil ringing out inside her head. "Andy…" When he glanced back, she smirked at him. "Be careful, it's get rough out here at night."

His jaw clenched from the force of holding back his laugh. He deserved that. Andy tossed off a cheerful salute and walked across the street to start talking at the witnesses gathered there. Maybe, he thought, she wasn't so prickly after all. That was a dangerous thought. He knew it the minute that it crossed his mind. She had a nice smile, and there was a sense of humor buried in there somewhere. Maybe he would see if he could pull that out of her a little more…

Hell. She was going to be trouble, but damn if he didn't like trouble.

 **-TBC-**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 4**

He asked around, and Andy found out that he hadn't seen Raydor around before because she usually worked days. Like the rest of her unit, she rotated on nights every few months. Her regular day beat was in North Hollywood, which would explain why he hadn't seen her on any of his crime scenes. It was a bad idea, looking her up, but the cute little cop with the prickly side had his interest all kinds of piqued.

He learned that she had been on the force for three years. She was married, but rumor had it that the husband had split. No one really knew what was going on there; she didn't talk about her personal life a whole lot. Andy figured that might fit with what he had seen, since she and the kid were by themselves. Anderson told him that she wasn't bad to ride with, she liked to keep it by the book and all about work, but she was nice enough. She was efficient and polite, and she had ridden with him a few years ago, back when she was just a training rookie. He told Andy that she learned fast and could think on her feet, which was necessary in their business. Now, when her unit rotated onto nights, Anderson asked for Raydor.

Andy decided, if he was looking around the apartment complex for her in the mornings and evenings, that he was only being a good neighbor. After all, she was a coworker, and if the rumors were true, there was no husband to help her out. As it turned out, though, keeping an eye out for Sharon didn't work so well for him. Andy hoped that he would run into her, either at work or the complex, but for two weeks he didn't get so much as a glimpse of her. He was starting to think that she was purposefully ignoring him, but that idea was put aside when she happened upon him in the courtyard at their complex.

Andy was bent over a shelving unit, hot sun beating down on his back while he used a manual sander to remove the old stain. He was thinking about priming it, and painting it white when he was finished. It would go great in the second bedroom; the little room that he kept hoping would be Charlie's some day, when he was finally allowed to visit. A voice pulled him out of those thoughts.

"Don't tell me the air conditioner is out in your apartment again?" Her tone was cheerful, almost teasing. "Or maybe my initial impression of you was correct."

Andy cast a look at her from over his shoulder. "Hey." A grin lit up his face. He sat back on his heels and shielded his eyes against the sun when he looked up. "So, you do still live here. I was thinking you moved or something." He wasn't wearing a shirt, but who could blame him with how hot the day had turned out. He had come down in jeans and a t-shirt to take care of the shelf, but the t-shirt was tossed over the rail of the stairs.

"Are you stalking me, Detective Flynn?" She smirked at him, and bounced Emily on her hip. Sharon heard he was asking around about her. She had done a little digging of her own. Divorced, with a young kid, he was in his thirties. Early thirties, if she had to guess. She had found out that he had a little bit of a temper, but he wasn't a bad cop. He was a homicide detective, but he was picking up shifts in patrol for extra money. That was something that a lot of cops did. Sharon had been working her share of doubles over the last several months too. That was why she wasn't home as often as she would like. The money that she was able to put back lately was taking the edge off, however, so she was scaling back now. "I've been busy. So have you, as I understand it." She gave him a knowing look and walked around to stand in the shade that the building provided on his other side.

He was busted. Andy grinned as he stood up. "You can't arrest me for curiosity, Officer. I was just wondering about the nice lady that lives in my complex, who doesn't like taking help from strangers. That's all." He wiped dust off his hands and took a step toward her, out of the sun. It felt good in the shade.

"I don't mind accepting help when I need it." She continued to smile at him, "but you can't blame me for being wary of naked strangers in our line of work." Her eyes sparkled at him. "Surely you understand my caution."

"Half naked," he reminded her with a laugh. "Yeah, I get it. It was smart. Makes sense now. I thought you were looking me over for a date, turns out, you were picturing me in county orange."

"Psych blue," she parried back with a smirk, "but close enough." Sharon looked down at Emily when the little girl cooed. She was fluttering her lashes at him. It was looking as if Emily had already formed an opinion of the handsome man with the charming grin.

"At least she likes me." Andy winked at the little girl. "She's cute, Sharon. How old is she?"

"Eighteen months." Emily was petite, and often taken for being a few months younger, but her girl was toddling just fine. "This is Emily," she said, formally introducing them. "Can you say _hi_?"

She was speaking to the kid, but Andy leaned down. There was a crooked grin on his face as he said, "Hi Emily. I'm Andy." She was all hazel eyes and dark hair with a light complexion. She looked just like her mother. She smiled widely at him, flirting again, and then she turned and pressed her face against her mother's shoulder. "Oh, I see," he teased, "takes after her mom. I'm being all nice and you just wanna hide."

Sharon laughed. She was hardly hiding from him. This one was definitely trouble. The charm came much too easily, and it was far too disarming. She shook her head at him. "Emily and I were on our way out. I just stopped to say hello."

"Well…" He leaned against the building. The brick was cool. It felt good against his sun-heated skin. "Hello there." Andy continued to grin down at her. He offered his best half-smile. "I'm glad you did. I should get back to work, though. I want to get that finished today," he jerked his head toward the shelf.

Sharon followed his gaze. The shelf was only half-sanded. It looked like he still had several hours of work ahead of him. "I won't keep you then." She stepped out of the shade, and back into the sunlight. It was going to be a good day. She was taking Emily to the park, and then they were going to get some lunch, and maybe do some grocery shopping. "It's going to be a warm day, Andy. Don't stay out in the sun too long."

"I'll do my best." So she was a mother hen. She didn't want him acting like he had to keep her safe, but she was the worrying sort. Andy tilted his head at her. "Have fun, ladies. Bye Emily," he waved at her. Andy watched them go as he returned to his work, and not before Sharon glanced back at him. He contained his smirk as he knelt down in front of the shelf again. A look back, so she was interested. That was good, because he certainly liked what he had been seeing of her, so far. He knew he wasn't supposed to date anyone yet, but that didn't mean that he couldn't look. It also didn't mean that he couldn't talk to her. He was just being a good neighbor, he thought again. It wasn't his fault that she was nice to look at.

After enjoying an afternoon at the park, Sharon decided that she didn't feel like having another takeout meal. Instead, she returned the two blocks to the apartment complex and picked up her car. This time, when Sharon carried groceries through the courtyard, she wasn't surprised when Andy stopped what he was doing to help her take the bags up to her apartment. She thanked him, offering a warm smile when he placed the bags just inside her door before turning away, going back to his task.

She had noticed, in the hours that she and Emily were gone, that he had gotten a little further with his sanding. Sharon watched him, from the windows in her kitchen, as she put away groceries and started making lunch. She had sliced apples for a snack, and gave Emily small pieces to chew on while she leaned against the counter to study the man that was working so diligently below. Her lips pursed while she watched him. His tanned skin was turning pink in the sun. It glowed with heat and a little too much exposure. Sweat glistened while muscles rippled as he moved.

Sharon drew her bottom lip between her teeth and hummed quietly. Yes, he was definitely a handsome spectacle. The problem was that she was just a little too familiar with the handsome and charming types. She pushed away from the counter with a sigh. It had been a long year, and a hard one at that. Sharon wasn't sure if she liked the attention that he was giving her because she was lacking it, or if it was the fact that she felt lonely on days like this one. She was happy with Emily; her daughter was a joy to her. She liked her job, and she had friends there. She didn't have a lot of close friends, however.

The people that she had spent time with before were mostly her husband's friends, and their wives. Now that Jack was gone, being around them was just a reminder. It was also an embarrassment.

Her husband had taken off to God only knew where and left her alone with an infant and a pile of debt. She had no idea where Jack was, or if he ever planned on coming back. Sharon didn't even know if he would know where to find her if he did come back. She couldn't afford the house they were renting, not after he cleaned out their accounts when he left her. He had even taken what little they had in the account that she started for Emily.

Sharon tried to stay afloat for months after he was gone, but she eventually gave up the little three-bedroom rental and moved into a much smaller place. That was how she had come to live in the apartment complex. It was small, only two bedrooms, but it was sufficient for her and Emily. The decently priced rent allowed her to work her way through the debt that Jack left behind and start saving again. Sharon was only just beginning to feel like she could breathe easy once more. They were nowhere near out of the woods financially, but the wolves that were at her door after Jack took off were now quiet, satisfied with the payments that she was making.

She was no longer robbing Peter to pay Paul, and she felt good about that. She felt even better knowing that she hadn't needed to go to her parents for help. It was bad enough being the daughter whose husband had taken off without a word to anyone, she wouldn't let them get her out of the trouble he left behind; no matter how much they wanted to. This was her mess, and she could get herself out of it.

Sharon wondered, though, as she put together a chicken salad for lunch, one large enough for more than just herself and Emily, if she was about to make an even bigger mess. She ignored the warnings that were sounding in the back of her mind. She told herself that she was just being nice, providing a proper thank you for the assistance that she had been given. Sharon knew that she was lying to herself, however. She was interested in what she was seeing from her neighbor and fellow officer, it was just a matter of how far she was willing to take that interest.

A little while later, after Emily had been fed and bathed, and put down for her nap, Sharon put together a plate and covered it with a napkin. It was only a chicken salad sandwich, fresh grapes, and sliced apples, but it was also an excuse to go back downstairs. She left Emily napping with the baby monitor turned on, and the apartment door locked, and carried the handheld receiver under her arm as she made her way back to the courtyard.

The sun had shifted in the late afternoon. The stairs that led up to his apartment were shaded now. Sharon walked over and placed the plate, and the glass of iced tea that accompanied it, on the bottom step. "You should take a break," she told him. "You've been out here a long time."

He had gone inside for a little while, after she got back with the kid, but Andy wouldn't argue with her now. The sanding was done at least. Now he just had to clean up the shelf, prime it, and paint it. Andy dusted his hands off on his jeans as he stood. A grin tugged at his mouth as he walked over to join her. "What's this?" He reached down and flipped up the corner of the napkin. His brows climbed. He had either been in the sun for too long, or that was one hell of a good-looking sandwich.

"I made a little too much," Sharon said easily, pleased with herself for how smoothly she managed to cover the truth. "Consider it a thank you for helping with the bags earlier." She leaned against the railing of the stairs when he picked up the plate and sat down. "I'm afraid Emily takes after her dad in this one respect. She's not a huge fan of my chicken salad."

"Oh yeah?" Andy gave it a curious look. He lifted one of the sandwich halves that she cut for him and took a bite. He grunted as he chewed. He didn't know what the hell they were thinking. Andy shook his head. "They're crazy," he told her after he swallowed. "That's pretty good. You use cranberries? What is that?" He lifted the edge of the whole grain bread. "Pecans?"

"Walnuts." She chuckled at his enthusiasm. He was either genuinely enjoying himself as he dug in to the rest of the sandwich, or he was really very hungry. "It's the onions that Jack always had a problem with. Emily is still young," she said, and decided that her daughter was just in a finicky phase.

Andy swallowed hard and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Jack?" He looked up at her, eyes going a little wide. "Raydor?" His brows shot up in surprise. "You're married to Jack Raydor? Shit." Andy dropped the sandwich onto the plate and shook his head. "That explains a lot."

Sharon drew back, instantly unsettled by his reaction. "Yes," her tone changed, growing even. "I suppose you know him?" She wondered if Andy had dealt with him at work. Jack was a young lawyer, but not a half-bad one, when he put forth some effort at it.

"You could say that." He squinted up at her. "I heard rumors that your husband was gone, but I didn't put it together that it was Jack. Everyone that hung out over at _Mallone_ 'sknows Jack, and they know that he took off, left his wife and a kid, and ran off to play cards in Reno or some shit." Andy shook his head. "Damn, I'm sorry, Sharon. I didn't know that was you. Of course, I don't hang out over at _Mallone's_ anymore either."

He spent too many nights there, getting shitfaced when he should have been at home with his family. He also knew that Jack liked to screw around. He talked shit about the wife that was putting on too much weight with the kid that she got knocked up with, behind his back, to hear Jack tell it. He mouthed off about how she wouldn't screw him anymore. He was a loudmouth. When he was drunk, Andy thought it was funny. Now that he was sober, and realizing that he was no better than that asshole, he felt like ten times a bastard for every time he got a laugh off of that deadbeat. Andy decided that he wouldn't tell her about all that; it was just too cruel. He also decided that Jack was full of shit and crazier than he believed; the wife was hot as hell, and Andy was pretty sure he wouldn't have given that up for cards. Even when he was drunk, and acting like an asshole because she was ragging on him about coming in late, Andy knew that he had a good thing in Sandra.

He looked pretty downtrodden. Sharon moved around and squeezed in beside him to sit on the step. There was just enough room for the pair of them, but her side was pressed against his. She sighed softly, a little sadly. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, Andy. I'm having to get used to the fact that the people I work with and know in the law enforcement community are familiar with Jack and…" She trailed off for a moment. Sharon stared hard at the fountain in the center of the courtyard. "And the way we split up," she finished in a whisper. What else could it be? Jack had been gone for a year. She hadn't heard from him. It was time for her to accept the fact that he wasn't coming back and her marriage was over. Even if he did show up, what was left for them? The trust was gone. Sharon couldn't imagine that she would ever feel safe with him again.

"Yeah, but I didn't have to be an idiot," Andy told her. "I should've put it together. I guess I was too far inside my own head. It was a pretty shitty thing to do."

"Oh?" She smiled gently at him. "What would you have done, Andy? Be nicer to me?" Sharon shook her head at him. "You've already been really kind, and that was when you thought I was just an unlucky, lonely woman, living alone with her kid. It wasn't pity. Maybe you thought I would be an easy mark? A quick piece of ass?" She laughed at the shocked look on his face. "Let's not play coy, Andy. You saw a single, mildly attractive woman, and you were nice to her. The only thing that you could get out of that is reciprocal attention."

"Is that right?" He studied her a little more closely. She was shrewder than he had given her credit for. He decided that he liked it. "So then, what's this?" He indicated the plate in his hands. "Is it really a nice gesture to say thank you, or is it some of that reciprocal attention?"

His voice had gone low, throaty. Sharon felt a tingle run down her spine at the way that he was looking at her, dark eyes seeming to penetrate all of her carefully constructed excuses for coming down to see him. It had been a while since anyone looked at her like that. Jack stopped being interested well before Emily was born. After the baby arrived, Sharon was too tired and too busy to entertain him. She had changed, too, stopped being the girl that he had fallen for. Sharon worked hard to lose the baby weight, but her body was still a little more filled out than it was when she met her husband. There was something thrilling about having someone look at her that way again.

"Hm." She shrugged as she stood up. "I haven't decided yet," She replied, flirting in kind. "Maybe you'll find out…"

Just when he thought that he was figuring her out, she threw another curveball at him. Andy laughed as she walked, no, sauntered away from him. "I thought," he called after her, with a grin spreading across his face, "you said we shouldn't play coy?"

Sharon stopped at the stairs that led up to her apartment. She tossed a smirk back at him. "I'm not being coy, Detective, I just haven't made up my mind about you yet." She also hadn't decided if she was fully willing to get back into the dating pool. Their little chat had opened some wounds that weren't entirely healed yet. He made her feel attractive, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for more than the teasing banter they had shared so far.

Andy watched her jog up the stairs. "Trouble," he muttered to himself, "nothing but trouble…" He wasn't thinking about more than maybe being a friend, having a good time, until she mentioned there could be something else at play between them. Now he knew that he was dancing close to the flames, and he was going to have to decide if it was worth it to get burned.

Andy gave it a couple of days before he saw her again. He wasn't avoiding her, but he didn't seek her out again. He knocked on her door after work, after he figured she would have been on duty, if she was working that night. Her light was on, he saw it from the courtyard. When she opened the door, wearing a pair of denim cut-offs and a tank top, he grinned. Getting burned was going to feel good. He held up the pizza that he brought with him. "Hungry?"

Sharon glanced at it, and then at him. Her brow arched. "Meat lovers or supreme?"

"Vegetables don't belong on pizza," he told her with a smirk. "I picked it up on my way home. I thought you'd help me get rid of it. I've got drinks too." He held up the six-pack of sodas.

"Pizza and coke?" Sharon stepped back to let him in. "I might have a kid, but there's beer in the fridge," she said with some amusement. Sharon closed the door behind him. He must have gone home first, she decided. His suit jacket was gone, so was his badge and gun, and his shirtsleeves were rolled up.

"I don't drink," Andy told her. He shook his head and decided he better amend that. "Anymore. I don't drink _anymore_." He took a moment to look around the apartment. It wasn't all that dissimilar from his. The kitchen was small, and like his, had a view of the courtyard. The living room and dining area were one large room, and there was a hall to one side that he knew would lead to the bedrooms. Andy looked down at her and smiled crookedly, "So I hope you don't mind the soda."

"No, I don't. That will be fine." She supposed she should have guessed when he said that he no longer spent time at _Mallone's_ , a popular watering hole for cops and the like. "You can put it down in here," Sharon led the way into the kitchen. She waved at the empty space on the counter while she reached up to take down plates and glasses.

Andy almost groaned. She did that on purpose, he decided. He tore his eyes away from her backside and busied himself with opening the top of the pizza box. "Where's the kid? I'm hoping she's a pizza fan, even if she doesn't know what a good chicken salad is."

"Oh, she is." Sharon smiled. She handed him the plates and took the glasses to fill with ice. "Unfortunately, it's a little after Emily's bedtime. I'm afraid that you're stuck with just me tonight."

"Good thing I'm old enough to be used to disappointment," he teased. Andy served up pizza for both of them and turned, the plates in hand. "Where would you like it?" He asked, and not without a little innuendo. It was pretty obvious to both of them what they were dancing around.

Sharon only hummed. There were a few different ways that she could answer that, but she chose to let him wonder. "We can eat in the living room," she said. She took their glasses and the six pack of soda and walked in that direction, if there was an added sway to her hips, she chose to ignore it.

After they had gotten settled on the sofa, plates carefully balanced and sodas poured, Andy fixed Sharon with a long, penetrating look. "Now I have a question for you," he started, voice low and rasping in the otherwise quiet room. "I might have had a specific reason for stopping by tonight."

"Really?" Her head tilted. If he thought it was going to be that easy, he had really underestimated her _and_ the situation they were currently in. He had her curious, though, and she decided to play along. "What is that?"

The corners of his mouth twitched, but he managed to suppress the smile. Andy leaned closer to her. He kept his gaze on her eyes, although they were dying to dip lower and enjoy the way her tank top stretched across her chest. "Do you like baseball? The game is on and my TV crapped out." When her eyes widened in surprise, he smirked at her. "The Dodgers are playing the Mets and that's not a game that I can miss, for obvious reasons," he let a little of his old New York accent seep into his tone.

Sharon blinked at him a few times. That was definitely _not_ what she expected him to say. She reached forward and picked up the remote that was laying on the coffee table in front of them. She flipped it around and handed it to him, a smile curved her lips. He had managed to surprise her, and she found that she liked that. "I suppose in the absence of being out at the ballpark, the only other place you'd really be able to watch it is down at _Mallone's_ ," or one of the other hundreds of bars in Los Angeles.

"Yeah, and that's definitely not a place that I need to be seen." Andy shrugged at her as he held the remote. "Although, I was kind of hoping for the company too?"

The questioning look, and the slightly boyish air about him now, it was incredibly charming, and that was more worrisome than his open flirting. Sharon had a harder time ignoring that. She smiled again as she settled back. "I guess it's a good thing that I like baseball." Liking sports was something that she shared with her brothers and father, but Jack was never especially keen on baseball. It wasn't until after he left her that she realized why. He couldn't bet on it, not in the same way he could football or basketball. "I take it that you're still a Mets man at heart?"

"I moved out here with my ex-wife, but yeah," he shrugged at her. "When it comes to the home team, my heart just can't let it go. Don't get me wrong," he added, "I love the Dodgers too, but home is home."

"I understand what you mean." Sharon's lips pursed. "I feel the same way about the Cubs." When he groaned, she laughed. "I know, I know, but like you said, home is home."

"I don't think I would have pegged you for Chicago," Andy said. He turned the TV on and flipped through the channels until he found the game. He kept the volume just where they could hear it, but low enough it wouldn't wake up her kid. It was only the second inning, and the game was still scoreless. They hadn't missed anything. "How did you end up out here?"

"School." Sharon got comfortable as they settled in with the game. She drew her legs up and curled them beneath her, plate now balanced carefully on her knees. "I moved out here when I was twenty to get my degree at UCLA." It drew a look from him that was half surprised, half puzzled. Sharon always got that response from people. She smiled. "I was a dancer, ballet. When I was sixteen my parents sent me to New York to study at the American Ballet School; it's a dance school, but it's also a fine arts institution. I got a job almost immediately after graduating. The American Ballet Theater recruits from inside the school, as do several ballet companies around the country. I had offers in Chicago and San Francisco, but my heart was in New York, or so I thought. I was in the chorus for a few years, doing my time and working my way toward soloist." She looked away; a wistful expression crossed her face. Sharon wondered how her life might have been different if her plans hadn't changed. "My partner stumbled in rehearsal, which can happen, and I landed on my knee. The injury was repaired, but my dancing career was over. I was fortunate. My parents had college funds for all of us. Mine was in trust until I turned twenty-five, unless I needed it before then."

"I guess you needed it," he said quietly. "That still doesn't tell me how a ballet dancer goes from Manhattan to working as a beat cop in LA?" He grinned crookedly at her. "Those two things aren't even remotely close." Some of her attitude made a little more sense now too. She was upper crust, used to having things a certain way. She also seemed pretty down to earth, too, and he wondered what else had changed for her… besides the deadbeat husband.

Sharon laughed quietly. "No, I suppose they aren't, are they? My parents would certainly agree with you." She shook her head. She stared at the television; the game was progressing while they talked. There still wasn't a score. That was one of the things she liked about baseball, the ebb and flow of it. There were high adrenaline rushes, but peaceful moments, like this one. "UCLA is where I met Jack," she told him. "He was a senior. We had a humanities class together, something he put off until the last minute. He needed it to graduate. We ended up in the same study group, started dating…" She rolled her eyes and waved a hand in the air.

"Yeah," Andy nodded. "I guess I know how that goes. Sandra and I moved out here to be near her folks. It was going to be temporary, but… we're both still here. I didn't go to the academy out here. I met Sandra in New York. She was going to school. She's a teacher. Math and Science, actually. I was walking a beat in the city, and, well… we got married right after she graduated. She grew up in LA, her parents are here. We moved out here to be near them, and I got a job at the LAPD. Next thing I know, instead of saving up to move back East like we planned, we're buying a house and talking about having kids."

"My degree is in history," Sharon explained, "but my dad is a Judge. I was going to follow in his footsteps. There wasn't a lot that I could imagine doing, besides dancing… all three of my brothers are lawyers too." She grinned. "It just seemed like what I was meant to do, and I enjoyed the law. I liked helping Jack study, or listening to my dad and brothers talk statutes and precedents. By the time I had my degree, Jack was out of law school and studying for the Bar. That can take some time; my brother studied for a year before he felt comfortable taking it. Jack and I wanted to get married, though, and I wanted to go to law school too. Neither of us wanted to wait until he passed the exam, so we came to an agreement. My father would have paid for my education, but we also needed to be able to live. So I was going to wait. I would support Jack while he finished studying and got established. Then he would do the same for me while I was going to school. The Academy seemed like a good idea; I could get familiar with things, and the pay and benefits were decent. My parents weren't entirely thrilled, but I wasn't a child. I knew what I was doing, or at least I thought that I did." Sharon rolled her eyes. "Jack passed the Bar, and got a job, but I got pregnant with Emily…" She sighed. "Then he left."

Andy leaned forward and put his plate on the coffee table. "I turned into a lousy drunk. Sandra kicked me out last year. I wasn't great to be around, and it wasn't good for our kid. Charlie," he said with a smile. "He's three now, almost four. We're divorced, and if I can keep it together until this fall, I might get visitation. So yeah, I don't drink anymore… and your husband is an asshole, but I'm not much better, Sharon."

She grew silent while she thought about what he said. "I don't know, Andy. Your ex-wife knows where you are. She doesn't have to question when or if she will see you again." Sharon's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but she shrugged. There it was, she said it out loud, admitted what they both knew. "She asked you to leave because of your behavior, and you've made corrections. At least, it appears that you have. Admittedly, I don't know you very well, but from where I am sitting, it looks like you're trying. Right or wrong, immediate or not, you're trying to do what you were asked to do. I ignored the fact that my husband was becoming someone that I barely knew, and failed to notice that my marriage was in trouble. There's plenty of blame on his shoulders, but I'm not completely innocent here."

"Don't try to let me off the hook," Andy shook his head at her. "I fucked up, and yeah, I'm trying to fix it now… but I know that I messed up. Look, I don't know what happened with you and your husband. I wasn't there, but where I come from, when a guy walks off and leaves his wife and kid, that makes him an asshole."

She didn't know exactly what possessed her to do it, maybe it was the way that he was looking at her now, or how he made her feel, like a woman that could still be desired, but Sharon leaned across the sofa and closed the space between them. At the last minute, she pressed her lips to his cheek, instead of his mouth. She drew back, a soft smile at her lips. "I thought you were going to be an easy piece of ass," she drawled, eyes sparkling at him, "but you're turning out to not be a half bad guy, Andy."

He barked a laugh when she sat back. There was mischief in her gaze, but he knew it was masking the hurt and unease that she was feeling. He felt a little of the same. "I guess it did get pretty heavy in here." Andy shook his head at her. "I'm not supposed to date until I've been sober a year, you're really making me wanna break the rules, Sharon."

"Aren't rules meant to be broken?" She put her plate on the coffee table and lifted her soda glass. "How long has it been?" She asked, "You know, since you've been sober."

"About seven months now," he said, "got a ways to go still."

Her lips pursed. "Think you'll make it? The year, I mean. I suppose, not to offend you, what I am asking is how serious you are about cleaning up your act?"

"Pretty serious," he admitted. "I want to see my kid again, Sharon." Andy leaned back on the sofa. He grew solemn as he thought about it. "I wanna see my kid again more than I wanna get my hands on you right now." He looked at her again. "That's a hell of an outfit, so I've been thinking about getting my hands on you since I walked in the door tonight, so yeah, I think I'll make it." His head inclined. "What about you?"

"Me?" She grinned at him. Sharon was touched at his sincerity. "I'm not the one working a program, Andy. I'm not exactly actively dating, either."

Andy sat up. "A wager then." He held up a hand, "not to be insensitive to Jack's issues, but a friendly little bet between friends."

Her brow arched in askance. "Is that what we are?" She questioned. "Are we friends, Andy?"

"Maybe we could be," he shrugged, "at least for now…" He leaned toward her. His grin was crooked, and just a little wolfish. "If I make it a year, you have to help me celebrate."

Her eyes widened. She laughed, and tried to keep it down. They were perilously close to waking up Emily. "Is that a wager or a proposition?"

"Go out with me," he rolled his eyes at her. "Whatever happens after that, happens, but I think we both know what is going on here. I'm interested; you're interested. Five months is a long time, things could change…" He could fail, at being sober or god only knew what else, and her husband could come home too. They'd at least have those months to think about what was going on, and while she tempted him, she'd had a shit time of it. She also had a kid. He'd messed up enough things in his life. He didn't need to start messing up hers too. Also, if he was honest about it, all of his friends were old drinking buddies. It would be nice to have one, genuine person, that he could spend time with and not have to worry about the beers coming out and the drinks being poured, at least until he was ready to be around that sort of thing.

She folded her arms across her chest while she thought about it. Sharon considered what he was asking, and all that he was saying too. Yes, she was interested. Maybe his suggestion was better than just jumping in. She had done that once already, and while she wouldn't give Emily back for anything, it hadn't turned out as well as it could have. "Okay," she said at length. "If you make it the year, I will go out with you. Until then… let's just enjoy the game." Sharon smiled warmly at him. "You like baseball, and I hope you like football too, because this is going to carry us right into the new season."

Andy's eyes narrowed. "God almighty, tell me that you're not a Bears fan." He shook his head. "I think I can take almost anything but that. If you tell me it's the Bears, this is over right now. I'm going home, and we'll just never talk about this again."

Her eyes narrowed. "It would serve you right if I said yes." He knew that she was a Chicago girl. Sharon huffed a sigh at him. "No, it's not the Bears. I'm a Giants girl. I told you, my heart was in New York."

"Really?" His eyes lit up. "Giants eh?" Andy leaned back on the couch again. "You know, this getting to know each other thing, that might just work out." He slanted a look at her. "Think Parcells has got another Super Bowl in him?"

Sharon grinned widely. She got comfortable on the sofa again and hummed thoughtfully. "They struggled last year, but I think Parcells is making the changes in the draft and off-season that he needs to make. It might just be their year again. I suppose we'll find out…" She didn't know why she expected that he would be a Rams fan, especially knowing that he was from New York. It was beginning to look like they had more in common than she previously believed. Maybe he was right, maybe getting to know him first was exactly what she needed to do.

 **-TBC-**


	5. Chapter 5

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 5**

It was a pounding at his door that woke him from a deep slumber. It was the kind of sleep that left a person groggy and disoriented. His head was aching and his eyes felt like they had been rubbed with sandpaper. If he didn't know any better, Andy would think that he had fallen into bed after going on a bender. That was not how he came to be in that state, however.

Andy had gone to bed a few hours before after finishing up a three-day stakeout. It was a case that he and his partner, Ray, had been working long hours on for several days prior to that. They had gotten their suspect, and he figured they'd be able to wrap up their case in the next couple of days. With nothing left but paperwork and letting the DA's office do it's part in putting the dirtbag behind bars, Andy had gone home for some much needed sleep.

The banging at his door started again. Andy scrubbed his hand over his face as he crawled out of his bed. "Yeah," he called out. "I'm coming! Jesus!" He stumbled down the hall and bounced off the wall a couple of times. He flipped on the light as he walked into the living room. It was too bright. His head was pounding from too little sleep, and the sudden brightness felt like knives boring into his skull.

He tripped over an end table as he crossed the living room. "Goddammit!" He swore, and hopped the rest of the way to the door after jamming his toe against the wood. Beyond aggravated now, and heading toward furious, Andy flipped the locks on his door and ripped it open. "What the hell do you want?"

He regretted his angry outburst almost immediately. Sharon stood before him, looking rumpled and harried. She had on a loose t-shirt and a pair of sweats. Her feet were bare and her hair was piled in a messy bun that was beginning to tip sideways, with loose tendrils falling around her face and neck. She jumped at his response and the red-faced baby in her arms howled unhappily. "Shit." He raked a hand over his face and into his hair again. "I'm sorry." Andy stepped back to let her into the apartment.

It wasn't like her to come over so late, and certainly not to bring Emily out this far past her bedtime. They had been doing well at being friends over the last several weeks. There was a certain expectation hanging in the air, and a definite attraction, but all of that was off the table for the agreed upon time frame. What they were doing in the meantime was hanging out. They shared meals and went to movies; they had taken Emily to the beach a few times, and he had taken both of them to the zoo the previous week.

Maybe he was being an idiot. It was entirely possible that he was substituting what he lost with someone else, but he liked being with Sharon and Emily. There had even been a night, not that long ago, when he had kept the baby while Sharon took an extra patrol shift because her regular babysitter wasn't available. She almost balked, canceled her shift, but Andy had managed to convince her that he and the kid would be okay for a single night. He did have a kid of his own, even if he was drunk or absent for a good portion of Charlie's young life.

Andy pushed the door closed behind Sharon. "What's going on?" Emily was crying loudly, her face was wet and turning an alarming shade of crimson. "Christ kid, what's with the screaming?" He recognized that Sharon looked like she was at her wit's end and took the little girl out of her arms. "Hey," he spoke easily, calmly, and bounced the little girl in his arms. "What's up with you, little monkey?" He began calling her that when, after Emily got used to him, the little girl showed a propensity for liking to climb all over him.

Emily covered her face and pitched forward. She let out a mewling sound that turned to a near scream as she pressed her face to his bare shoulder. Andy laid a hand against her back. "Jesus Christ, Sharon. She's burning up."

"I know." She threw her hands up in exasperation. Sharon was at the end of everything that she knew how to do for the little girl, and Emily couldn't tell her what was hurting. "I took her to the doctor day before yesterday because she had a cold. He gave us something for her cough, but her temperature started climbing again tonight, and I can't get her calmed down. I don't know what to do. It's only hovering at a little over 101, and I don't want to take her to the Emergency Room if I don't have to…" They were likely to pick up more germs there, and if it was only the cold running its course, getting worse before it got better, Sharon didn't want to put Emily at risk for catching anything else. Emily cried out again and Sharon pushed her hands into her hair. She could feel tears stinging behind her eyes. "I know it's late, but I didn't know where else to go," she admitted miserably.

"Okay, alright…" Andy laid his head against the top of Emily's. He reached out and pulled Sharon over toward him. He wrapped his arm around her and held them both for just a minute. He had a pretty good feeling that part of Emily's upset was a good dose of sensing her mother's frustration. "It's not going to hurt her to cry for a minute. So why don't we all just take a couple of seconds."

"I just wish that she could tell me what is wrong so that I can fix it," Sharon whispered. Her daughter had been sick before; there had been a couple of colds and one miserable stomach virus, but she couldn't recall Emily ever being _this_ miserable before, not even when she was teething. "She's never cried like this before, Andy."

"I hope not," he replied. "It's got to hurt belting it out like that." He pulled away from her and offered a warm smile. "Sharon, it's okay. Kids get sick. We're going to fix it." He looked down at Emily. She had a snotty nose and weak, glassy eyes. Now that he was listening for it, really paying attention to her, she sounded congested. He could hear it when she cried. "You said she's got a cold?"

"Yes." Sharon took a breath and let it out slowly. "She was only running a low-grade fever with it, but she was sneezing and coughing. The pediatrician said that she should be better in a couple of days, but she's only gotten worse."

"What time is it?" Andy looked around. He squinted at the wall clock. It was only after one in the morning. "Damn." He sighed. It was late, which meant that it was really early on the east coast. "Okay, I have an idea." They had two choices, they could take Emily to the ER, or there were two people that he could call. He agreed with Sharon that the ER might not be a good idea if all they were dealing with was something minor. The second option, making the calls, well, one of those people was his ex-wife. He didn't imagine that Sandra would be thrilled to be woken up at this hour, especially considering they hadn't spoken since he went to rehab. Andy decided to go with the other option.

He walked into the kitchen, Emily still in his arms, and took the phone off the wall mount. The cord stretched far enough that he could lean against the counter. He kept an arm under Emily's bottom and dialed with his other hand. "Okay, little monkey," he said when the phone began ringing on the other end, "do me a favor and don't scream. You can cry all you want, but let's keep the screaming to a minimum for a couple of minutes, yeah?"

"Hello?" The other phone was picked up on the other end of the call. The voice was thick and slurring with sleep.

"Hey ma," Andy shook his head at Sharon, putting her off with a look at her wide-eyed, concerned expression. "I'm sorry to call at this hour."

"Andrew?" His mother sat up in her bed, suddenly concerned. "What happened? Is something wrong?" She reached for the clock beside her bed. It wasn't even four-thirty in the morning yet. "Are you okay?"

"I'm good, ma." Andy bounced Emily in his arms again. She was continuing to cry and whine, but the higher pitched notes had faded a little. "Listen, I hate doing this to you. I know it's pretty early out there, but I could use some help. I've got a friend, a neighbor, and her little girl is pretty sick…"

"A friend?" His mother yawned. He didn't sound drunk, and she decided that was a good thing. Carla Flynn sat up on the side of her bed. She glanced at her husband, but he continued to snore quietly beside her; she almost rolled her eyes at that. When she turned on the bedside lamp, he didn't even twitch. "A woman?" She asked, getting back to the conversation that had awakened her.

Andy rolled his eyes. He had just managed to give his very Italian mother ammunition to use against him for quite some time. "Yes ma, it's a woman. So the little girl is sick," he continued, "and her temp isn't that high. It's only about 101. She took her to the doc, and he said she had a cold, but she's not getting any better."

His mother hummed thoughtfully. Carla listened. She could hear a child crying and it sounded pretty close to the phone. She winced when she heard her cough. "Is she pulling at her ear or rubbing it at all? Did her mother get a look at her throat? Is it red?"

Andy held the phone between his shoulder and ear and looked at Sharon. "Is her throat red? Has she been messing with her ears?" He sat the baby down on the counter and tipped her face toward him.

"I didn't look at her throat, but she's been rubbing her head a lot." Sharon joined him at the counter. They turned the light on over the sink and she turned Emily's face toward it as she opened her mouth. Her baby girl didn't like that very much. She cried angrily, but Sharon winced.

"Yeah ma, it's pretty red and swollen," Andy replied. "Sharon says she's been rubbing her head." He looked at Emily again, smiled at the little girl. "Hey monkey, does this hurt?" He touched first one ear, and then the other. She pulled away from him and whined when he touched her left one. "I'm going to say her ear is bothering her too. What do you think? Ear infection?"

"More than likely. The cold was a herring. What she probably has is a case of strep with an ear infection. Is this her first?" She smiled knowingly. She had gone through this with both of her daughters and their kids. It stood to reason that she would be having this conversation with Andy eventually, although she would have preferred it not be because of a stranger's child.

Andy frowned. "What do you mean? Sharon said she's never been sick like this before, just normal stuff," he said.

Carla chuckled quietly. "No, son, I meant is this your friend's first baby? It's always hard with the first one, but you learn what to look for."

"Oh." Andy looked at Sharon and shrugged. "Yeah, Emily is her only kid, she's just a few months shy of two-years-old." He turned the phone toward his shoulder and made a face at Sharon, who was giving him a puzzled look. "Ma is about to give me the _new mom_ speech. It's all about how you learn to predict what's wrong with the little rugrats before _they_ know something is wrong with them."

"Andrew Michael Flynn," Carla glowered, despite the fact that he couldn't see it. "I heard that." She huffed at him. "I would just like to remind you that it is now four-thirty in the morning and you called to wake _me_ up, not the other way around. Now, as I was going to say, before you decided to get cheeky with your mother, is that this will all eventually come as second nature. Until then, she should always check the ears and throat first." She paused for a moment and got out of bed. She walked into the bathroom and filled a glass with water, the phone cord stretching with her. It rattled the lamp on the bedside table, but still her husband didn't move. "I wouldn't take her to the ER tonight unless her temperature hits 102 or higher. Keep it down, and keep her comfortable, and take her back to her regular doctor tomorrow."

"Ma says we don't have to take her in tonight," he repeated for Sharon. "We can take her back to the doctor tomorrow. Just keep her fever down. She'll be okay. She's just not feeling too great right now," he shifted the phone back up to his mouth with a shrug of his shoulder. "If her ear is hurting," he asked his mother, "what do we do for it tonight?"

"Give her some children's Tylenol," she told him with a low chuckle, "and use a warm cloth." It was on the tip of her tongue to tell him that he would know all of this if he was at home with his own child, where he belonged, but Carla decided that it would be better not to get into all of that tonight. That could be a conversation for their next call. She would also like to know just who this _Sharon_ was that he was talking to, and why it was that they were together in the middle of the night. Carla could just about imagine exactly what they were up to, but it also begged the question of _why_ , and _how long_? Was this why Sandra had tossed him out? Was he messing around on her while he was drinking? Carla clucked her tongue at him. "Andrew," she spoke in a lower, chiding tone, "you had best not end up telling me that this child is yours and I'm just now hearing about it…"

" _What_?" His jaw dropped open. "No!" Andy winced when Emily jerked. "Sorry, monkey girl." He picked her up and passed her to Sharon. Andy wrapped his hand around the phone and turned away from them. "Of course not, how can you ask me that? Ma, I told you, she's a friend," he hissed, just a little embarrassed that Sharon had to hear any of the conversation. "She's not like that. She's a nice lady, I work with her," he added. "Sharon just happens to live in my building," he muttered, "and we got to know each other. That's all."

"That's all," his mother repeated. By now, her husband was finally awake. He was looking at her, bleary eyed and unhappy to find out it was the phone that had woken them both up. Carla was honestly surprised, that man could usually sleep through anything. She shook her head at Michael. " _That's all_ , your son says. He calls here in the middle of the night, asking for help with a child that is not his, from a woman that is not his wife. Then, after all the hell that he has put all of us through for the last two years, he has the audacity to tell me that she's just a friend and _that's all_."

Michael rubbed a hand over his face. He lay back down in the bed and rolled onto his side. "Carla, hang up the phone and come back to bed. Leave Andy alone with his friend. He's a grown man. It's none of our business what he does."

"He's got a strange woman in his apartment in the middle of the night," she reminded him, "while his wife and child, our grandchild in case you have forgotten, are on the other side of town. How is that none of our business?"

"It's a Flynn thing," he told his wife with a yawn. "You wouldn't understand."

"Yes," she drawled sarcastically, "that is exactly what I would expect you to say, Michael Flynn." She walked over to the bed and poked his hip. "Come on, out of bed. It's late enough now. That alarm is going to go off in less than an hour, you might as well go ahead and get a start on the day. Come on, up you get," she gave his bottom a swat with the back of her hand.

He raised his head and looked at the clock on her side of the bed. "I've got thirty-five minutes and I'm going to enjoy every single one of them, woman." He dropped his head into the pillow and buried his face in it. He lay there for just a minute before he rose up again. Michael wrapped a hand around his wife's arm and pulled her down with him. "Of course, enjoying them doesn't have to mean sleeping," he drawled. He took the phone from her and untangled both of them from the cord. "Andrew, say goodbye to your mother," he said, speaking loud enough to be heard, and reached across the bed to hang it up.

"Oh Jesus effing Christ." Andy dropped the phone away from his ear and covered his face with his other hand. "There are things a man just doesn't need to know." He shook his head and hung up the phone. He supposed he should thank his old man for saving him from an earful, but decided he was just too disgusted at the moment. He walked over to where Sharon was standing, not far from him, trying to soothe a still very upset Emily. "Come on, ma said to give her some Tylenol and use a warm washcloth to help ease the ear pain. Why don't we put her in the tub and see if we can get her fever down that way too." He laid a hand on her back and gave her a careful nudge toward the hall.

"What was that with your mother?" She asked him. "She thinks that we're together?" In her frazzled state of mind, she was rather embarrassed by that. "Did she… was she…" Sharon's cheeks flushed at the idea. "Did she think that we had an affair?"

Andy rolled his eyes at her. "Ma is nosy, that's all. She can't seem to get it into her head that me being drunk all the damned time was enough to make Sandra toss my ass out on the street. I told her a dozen times that I didn't screw around. Don't worry about it; ma isn't going to think badly of you. She's too busy thinking the worst of me."

Sharon sighed as he guided her down the hall to the bathroom that was between his room and the second, smaller bedroom. She could only hope that he was right, but wasn't entirely sure why she was worried about that right now. She held on to Emily while he moved around the bathroom. He pulled out a couple of fluffy towels and then opened a cabinet over the toilet. There was a shelf that was stocked with anything that a child could possibly need. There were vitamins, Tylenol, baby aspirin, a first aid kit, lotions, soaps, and shampoo. Sharon's brows climbed her toward hairline. "You may be more prepared than I am at this point."

"Yeah, well…" Andy glanced over at her and shrugged. "I had to prove that I was ready to have Charlie around. They won't let him visit until after the hearing in October, but I've got to be ready anytime a social worker shows up." Andy took down a bottle of the children's pain medicine. It had never even been opened. He handed it to Sharon and walked over to start filling the tub. "Why don't you give her that and get her in the bath. I'm sure it will make her feel better. I'll walk over and get her some clean clothes from your place." He'd also make sure it was locked up. With the state she was in when she beat on his door, Andy didn't know if she would have remembered to do that.

She sat down on the edge of the tub, Emily in her lap. Sharon hesitated for a moment. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth and watched the water as it slowly rose to about an inch deep. "Andy, I should probably just take her home," she said. "We've taken up too much of your night. I should let you get back to sleep." She was beginning to feel a little silly for having run over there in the middle of the night for something so simple.

"Nah," he waved her off. "Don't be dumb, Sharon. You're already here, and so is Emily. Besides," he flashed a crooked grin at her, "I bet your neighbors would appreciate a break, just in case she gets worked up again." The kid was still whiney, but it wasn't as bad as it had been. Keeping her mom calm was doing a lot to calm her down too.

Sharon sighed. She reached over and shut off the faucet. "You are probably right about that. I still feel bad." She frowned up at him. "No offense, but you look like crap."

He barked a quick laugh. "I bet I do." Andy looked in the mirror and nodded. His hair was a mess and he couldn't remember the last time he shaved. He had a pretty thick scruff growing. Andy rubbed his chin and jawline. "Maybe I'll keep it. I could look good with a beard, what do you think." He looked down in time to see her nose wrinkle and laughed again. "I'll be right back."

She turned Emily on her lap and made a face at the child. "He's an odd duck, isn't he, Em?" When she only whined, Sharon drew her into a hug. She rocked her girl for just a moment. Before the water cooled too much, Sharon got her undressed and set her in the tub. Emily usually enjoyed bath time, but now she was seated in the barely warm water, and looking up at her mother with miserable eyes. "I know baby," she swept her hair back from her face. Sharon poured up a dose of the pain medicine and coaxed her to take it. It wasn't easy, and she was glad that Emily was already in the tub, considering the mess that she made. Still, she was satisfied that the baby got enough to do some good. She settled on her knees beside the tub and used a rag that Andy had gotten for her to begin bathing the child down, hoping it would help soothe her, if nothing else.

Andy pulled on a t-shirt before sliding his feet into a pair of flip-flops. He didn't waste a lot of time crossing the courtyard and jogging up the stairs to Sharon's second floor apartment. He found the door unlocked, and wasn't surprised. She was usually a lot more careful than that, but it had been a rough night for her. Andy looked around, made sure nothing was missing, but their complex was pretty secure. He doubted that anyone could have figured out that her door was open and gotten in to rummage about in the length of time that she was gone.

The apartment itself was a little more cluttered than he was accustomed to seeing. There were blankets and discarded toys in the living room. There was a basket of laundry that had not yet been folded, and a couple of dishes on the counter, beside the sink. Andy walked through the apartment to Emily's room and looked through a few drawers until he found the clean clothes that he was searching for. Then he went into Sharon's room and did the same. He wasn't quite as comfortable going through her things, but he thought she might feel better if she had a shower and changed her clothes. He bundled it all up before he went back to the outer rooms. Andy shoved the clothes into the diaper bag he found by the door and left it there, waiting for him, while he moved around the living room, picking up toys and tidying up a little. He went to the kitchen next, and took just a minute to rinse out the dishes from that day's lunch or dinner, he wasn't sure which, and placed them in the sink.

It wasn't much, but based on what the apartment usually looked like, he had a feeling that Sharon wouldn't feel great coming home to a messy place. Afterward, he made sure that all of the lights were out, and grabbed the bottle of prescribed medicine he found on one of the kitchen counters, just in case Emily needed it again later. Then with the apartment locked up tight, Andy carried everything back over to his place.

Sharon was just taking Emily out of the tub when he arrived. She had the little girl wrapped in a towel. Emily seemed to be much calmer, or at the very least had tired herself out. Her head was resting against Sharon's shoulder as she was carried out of the bathroom. Andy waved Sharon into his room, since the other one was only furnished with a twin bed and a few pieces of furniture.

After they had gotten Emily dressed, Andy picked her up. "Go take a shower," he told Sharon. He nodded to the clothes that he brought for her. "We'll be okay for a couple of minutes." Her head was resting on his shoulder now, while he swayed back and forth with her.

"Oh, Andy, that's okay." Sharon shook her head at him. "I'll just take her home now. She'll probably sleep a lot better in her crib." She appreciated all of his help, but it really was time for her to get out of his way.

"She's already half asleep, Sharon." He was rubbing her back and moving from side to side. "Go take a shower. Let's not risk it by taking her out right now. It's okay. Go," he urged her. "You're not bothering me," he promised.

She groaned quietly. It would be nice to have a few minutes to herself. Emily hadn't done more than nap in short intervals while she was sick. "Fine," she relented. Sharon picked up the bundle of clothes that he brought back for her. She felt a little odd that he had gone through her belongings, but pushed it aside. He was only trying to help, and they were friends… they were just becoming much closer friends now. "Thank you," she told him, and managed a small smile.

"You're welcome." He smiled when she touched his shoulder as she passed. He continued to sway with Emily until she became limp and heavier in his arms. From the mirror over his dresser, he was able to see that she had fallen asleep against his shoulder. Andy breathed a small sigh of relief. She definitely needed it. As carefully as he could, he sat down on the edge of his bed with her. He pushed his pillows against the headboard before leaning against them and let Emily lay against his chest. Then he tipped his head back and closed his eyes for just a minute while he waited for her mother.

They were both sound asleep when Sharon got out of the shower. She had taken an extra few minutes and shampooed her hair. It felt heavenly. She was still using a towel to dry the long, wet mass when she walked back into the bedroom. Andy was snoring quietly and Emily had a fistful of his t-shirt. Sharon scraped her teeth across her bottom lip. This was not what she had planned, or expected, when she decided to get closer to Andy. She worried at letting Emily get attached to him. Yes, he was very kind to them, and they both enjoyed being with him, but Andy was not a substitute for Jack.

Sharon couldn't help but feel that this had the possibility of blowing up in their faces, and yet, at the same time… Emily was resting better than she had in the last two days. She hated the idea of moving her, and based on the grip that her daughter had on Andy's shirt, she didn't think that she would be able to. Sharon sighed as she rounded the bed. She tried not to jostle either of them awake as she joined them. She slid close and settled against the headboard beside him. Her fingers combed gently through Emily's dark hair.

When Andy's head turned and his eyes blinked open, she managed a tired and worried smile. "What are we doing?" She asked quietly.

"I don't know." Andy sank further down into the pillows under him; then he reached out and pulled Sharon down with him. "We're taking a nap," he decided. "Ma said, when Sandra and I had Charlie, to always sleep when he slept. So that's what we're doing. We're going to sleep."

"Andy…"

He sighed. "Sharon, hell if I know, okay? I like you. You like me. We're friends. We're people trying not to screw up a whole lot of things, who just happen to be friends. I don't know about you, but I look out for the people that I care about. So that's what's going on. Whatever happens, hell, I live my life a day at a time. That's all I've got. That's all any of us has, and right now, what I really want to do is get a little sleep."

She drew a breath and let it out slowly. Why did life have to be so damned complicated? "Okay," Sharon said. "We are friends, and we are taking a nap." If that was all that either of them could focus on at the moment, then it would have to suffice. She had a feeling that there would need to be other conversations later, but at the moment, his idea sounded pretty good. She was tired. Emily was exhausted.

She was too tired to think, too tired to examine why he was the first person that she considered running to when she was upset and needing help. He called his mother, woke her up, to ask for help. Sharon could have done that, but she hadn't thought of her mother as an option. Her parents were in Chicago, and in the middle of the night, she had gone to the closest, safe place that she could think of. She hadn't known him for very long, but in the state that she was in earlier, that safe place had been Andy. Maybe his sponsor was right. They needed to only be friends, because if it was more than that, it was moving way too fast. Suddenly, waiting the rest of the five months wasn't just a wager. It was now a safety net for the high wire that they were walking.

 **-TBC-**


	6. Chapter 6

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

 **A/N:** I'm going to take just a moment to address the Guest reviewer who decided to take issue, and express offense, over the fact that Sharon is taking assistance from Andy at this time in her life. I do not usually do this, but since I had no other way of contacting this person... please bear with me! :)

1\. There are 19 chapters of this written (so far), so really you have no idea where this is going.

2\. Sharon is freaking awesome, but you've put her on a pedestal that is almost impossible to reach for a normal human.

3\. Yes, Sharon was a fantastic single mother, and she rocked it... but do you think that she knew everything from day one? I'm not going to say that you are not a parent, but I can say that I am. Parents don't know everything from day one. Even when you have a rocking support system, there are things that you just have to learn for yourself. So yes - Sharon would have known to give Emily tylenol before that point, and I'm quite sure that she was. However... as a parent, and especially as a single parent, I can tell you that you reach a point, ESPECIALLY with your first child, where you just don't know anymore. Your child is crying, and they are hurting, and they don't feel well... you've cuddled, and walked, and treated, and done everything that you know how to do, everything that has ever worked before... and it just isn't working now. You want to do the one thing that will make them feel better, and make their tears stop, but you don't know what that is when they can't tell you what is wrong. When this happens, you hit a point where you just have to stop and ask someone else. When all you want is for your child to be happy and healthy, and you have only their best interests in mind, you reach out for help when you need it.

4\. This is a Shandy fan-fiction, if you obviously do not like Andy - why are you reading it? That is the only conclusion that I can draw from your response, since you have taken such issue with him helping her. I would expect that with Sharon as his friend, and potential romantic interest, at the very least someone that he cares about... he would offer to help her. Also, as a mother who cares about her child, and has a friend that she feels like she can trust, Sharon is going to accept help when she needs it. Even Ricky said, in Season 5 - the church helped her a lot when he and Emily were young. That means, that while Sharon was a single mother with few options, she took help where she felt like she could and from sources she could trust. THAT is how you rock being a single mother. You don't always do everything yourself.

5\. If you would like to discuss further, I encourage you to log in next time you review. I would be glad to talk about it!

6\. Thank you for the review. Much love!

* * *

 **Chapter 6**

Within only a day of putting her mother on edge, Emily bounced right back, just as kids tended to do. She was back to her smiling, and typically happy self. Andy noticed, when he kept Emily so that Sharon could go back to work, two days later, that the little imp was back to twirling and climbing all over him. That night was put behind them, although Andy had endured a long, and very painful phone call with his mother. She was still holding out hope that he and Sandra would put things back together. He explained, and not for the first time, that getting back together with his ex-wife would be hard to do when she wasn't speaking to him. She quizzed him on Sharon, who she was, where she was from, and how he had come to meet her.

Andy knew better than to hold back. His mother could be brutal when it came to getting information out of her kids, especially when that information could impact their future. She was seeing the potential for trouble where Andy was certain that there was none. He told her as much about Sharon as he dared; he wouldn't give her specifics about Sharon's marriage, however. That was a confidence that Andy wouldn't break. If he allowed his mother to believe that she was already divorced, he only felt moderately bad about it. Besides which, it was kind of hard for Sharon to file papers when she didn't know where the guy was.

He was insistent that they were just friends, but he was growing less certain of that every day. The attraction was there. She was a beautiful woman. It was more than the physical, however. He liked just being around her, but that was not something that he could explain to his mother. Andy wasn't even sure that he could explain it to himself. Being with her was just so easy; there were no expectations and she wasn't waiting for him to stumble and fall. She didn't look at him as if he was damaged, and she didn't judge him for the mistakes of his past. She accepted that his past existed and that he was trying to do better. She didn't ask a lot of questions, and didn't push him for answers to those that she did ask. To Andy, that made Sharon so much easier to talk to.

Andy tried to return the favor. He didn't push Sharon to talk about her marriage. It slipped into conversation occasionally, and they both found themselves talking about their exes. There was nothing forced about their interactions. Being together was just easy and fun. Maybe their friendship was built on something tenuous. She needed help and he wanted to feel like he was needed. Then there was the kid. Sharon didn't like relying on him, that wasn't what their relationship was supposed to be about. Andy kept reminding her that friends looked out for one another; he told her that he was certain she would return the favor if he had Charlie. The truth was, he didn't have Charlie, and he didn't know a whole hell of a lot about being a parent. That was his fault; it was his shame to carry. Maybe he pushed her to let him help out with Emily because he wanted to prove that he could do it. If he could be trusted with a friend's kid, then he could definitely be trusted with his own, right?

Whatever the reasons behind their time together, they weren't staying apart.

Now that they knew about their shared profession, they had started running in to each other at work more often. Sharon was still on her North Hollywood beat, when she was patrolling on day shift, but Andy knew where she liked to have lunch, and he would meet her there if his workload permitted it. They had started coordinating some of their extra shift time on nights so that, while they were riding with other partners, they were at least working together on one or two nights a week.

Andy had grown the beard. He joked about it initially, and Sharon's response to the idea had prompted him to wait a few more days before shaving. By that point, it had started to grow in quite well. She shook her head, rolled her eyes at him every time that he stroked his scruff, and so Andy had held off a little while longer. He said it made him look dashing, Sharon countered that he looked like a bum… especially when he walked around the apartment complex in an open shirt, old, ratty jeans, with sandals on his feet. Emily appeared to like it, or rather the way that it tickled her fingers when she would pat his cheeks. Andy decided to keep it, at least for a little while. If nothing else, it was something different, and rather amusing.

With summer drawing to an end, they were no closer to defining their relationship beyond the explanation that had been given to Andy's mother and some mutual friends. It didn't feel at all odd or unusual for Andy to join Sharon and Emily for an afternoon on the beach. They had driven out to Santa Monica, where they had spent a couple of hours with the fresh air, the sand, and the surf. They had a good day, playing with Emily, laughing and talking, and lazing in the sun.

They had walked along the pier, and Sharon, who always kept a small camera in her bag when she was out with her daughter, had captured pictures of a happy Emily while she road the carrousel. Afterward, they walked toward Venice. Andy lifted Emily onto his shoulders and let her ride there while they strolled, one of his arms casually draped across her mother's shoulders.

It had been a very good day; one that they decided to top off by getting a late lunch. They choose a small pizza place that was a few blocks from the beach. It was a little hole in the wall place that Andy loved, primarily because it also served a few Italian dishes, but the pizza was the closest he could get to a New York style slice on the West Coast. They had a baked wrap that he knew that Sharon would enjoy, and he had a feeling that Emily could really destroy a plate of the baked spaghetti. It was one of his favorite places in the city, and he wanted to share it with the two of them.

 _Vito's_ was busy, but that was not unusual, especially for a Saturday afternoon. Andy lifted Emily off his shoulders before they stepped inside. They stood in line and waited for a table. They were tucked in a corner, watching as people came and went, picking up carryout orders or vacating their tables. Andy had passed Emily to her mother; it was getting close to her naptime and the little one was hungry. Emily's patience was beginning to wan, but he was keeping her occupied while they waited.

The high-pitched laughter of the toddler was almost lost in the din of conversation and activity inside the busy pizza parlor. Emily leaned back from Andy, stretching as though to twist behind her mother's shoulder when his hands danced across her ribs, tickling her. Each time she pushed him away, he would capture her hand and pretend to chew on her fingers. The beard tickled, and that made her laugh harder.

"I don't know why we're getting pizza." Andy reached for Emily. He tossed her over his shoulder. "We could have baked Monkey." He let Emily hang upside down over his shoulder. "You know what would be good, Monkey spaghetti. Or maybe," he drawled, grinning widely when she squirmed, "we'll send her to the kitchen and get them to make us some Monkey pizza."

"No!" Emily pushed off his shoulder and he let her go. She settled in his arms when he held her in front of him, and placed both of her hands against his face. She squeezed them inward, forcing him to make a fish-face. "Bad," she decided, but her smile as full of mischief.

"Yes he is." Sharon gave them an indulgent smile. She had chuckled quietly at their antics, but shook her head now. "He is a very bad Andy."

"Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad…" Emily began to chant, squeezing or smacking his cheeks with each utterance of the single syllable word.

A woman with an older toddler moved past them toward the counter. Andy barely paid her any attention. From the corner of his eye, he saw them stop at the counter; they had the appearance of just another customer picking up a carryout order. It wasn't until the kid, a boy, peeked out from around his mother's hip to look at them, that they had Andy's full attention.

It was the closest that he had been to his son in about a year, his previous attempts at seeing him were from several yards away, and always hidden so that Sandra wouldn't spot him. There wasn't a protective order, but Andy knew better than to violate the custody arrangement, at least until it was amended. Some might have argued that he was mistaken, but the boy that he was looking at now was undeniably his Charlie. His son was the image of him, but for having his mother's bright blue eyes.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, just staring. Sharon must have sensed the change in him. She reached for Emily and he let her take the little girl. He glanced at her, and his smile was uneasy when he stepped forward. "Sandra." He called her name, and let his voice lift just enough to be heard over the din of noise around them.

She turned, more at the sound of his voice than of hearing her name. Sandra's gaze swept the crowd that was waiting in the entry. It passed over Andy twice before it finally settled on him. Her eyes widened. She had almost not recognized him. If he hadn't looked down, and then grinned at her, his look a little sheepish beneath a fringe of dark bangs, she might not have realized it was him at all. Sandra's hand fell against Charlie's shoulder and she pulled her son closer. She supposed that she was bound to run into her ex-husband eventually. Her gaze slipped to the woman that was with him. She saw them together when she entered, she had smiled at the lovely looking young family, and had, admittedly, felt a pang of jealousy.

That was something that Sandra had been dealing with since she asked her husband to leave. They were happy before his drinking got out of control, and she wondered why they couldn't hold things together. Sandra wondered why they couldn't be happy like their friends, like any of the other couples she saw throughout the city. Like the couple she believed she had passed upon entering _Vito's_ that afternoon.

The questions came to her mind immediately. Had he already moved on? Who was this woman? What was Andy doing with someone else when they were left alone? Of course, she had to remind herself that she hadn't just asked him to leave; she had packed his bags and locked him out of the house. Who was this child that he played with so easily, when the introduction of Charlie to their lives had driven him further into the bottle? Sandra lifted her chin; she forced the cacophony inside her head to quiet, and offered him a small, tentative smile. "Andy."

He had to tear his gaze away from Charlie. She looked good. She had been spending some time in the sun, from the looks of it. She was tanned, giving her olive complexion a much darker look. Her dark hair was gleaming; it was falling around her shoulders in loose, tousled waves. Like him, only one of her parents was Italian. Her father was third generation, with his grandparents having immigrated before his father was born. Sandra's grandmother was only half Italian, and Irish like much of Andy's family. Her mother had European roots, and he couldn't quite remember what all of them were. He knew that was where she had gotten the eyes. Her eyes were what had always captivated him the most. They were so bright and blue, while the rest of her was dark.

Andy shoved his hands into the pockets of his shorts. He had worn a sleeveless muscle shirt that day, so that his tanned arms were on display, and a pair of old khaki shorts; all of it had been perfect for bumming around on the beach. Andy gave her another small smile. He felt a pang of longing move through him. This was the woman that he thought he would spend the rest of his life with. He wanted no one but her from the moment he laid eyes on her, and he had gone out of his way to meet her, to talk to her. They had gotten married, and had a kid. There should have been nothing else that he wanted. Nothing except bourbon, Andy had wanted his next bottle, his next drink, more than he wanted his wife.

"Yeah." He supposed he couldn't fault her for not really noticing him at first. He guessed he was in need of both a haircut and a shave. "How… uh… how've you been?"

"We're good." Her arm slipped over her son's shoulder and her hand splayed across his chest. She kept him close to her while they spoke to his father. He asked for his daddy, occasionally, but in that abstract way of a child looking for something that he knew was missing, rather than wanting a specific individual. "Just…" She gestured behind her, to where her order was being put together, "picking up something to eat. How about you?"

Andy didn't miss the way her gaze slid to Sharon. She had looked that direction more than once since he called out to her. "Same." He shrugged. "We spent the day down by the water, we thought we'd grab something before heading back… uh…" He shook his head. "Sorry, um…" he drew one of his hands out of his pocket and waved at the woman beside him. "Sandra, this is Sharon. She's a friend of mine from work." He turned, and for just a moment, his gaze met Sharon's. There was a questioning look on her face. He saw the concern too, but she smiled politely as she stepped forward, Emily on her hip. "Sharon, this is Sandra, my wife… uh, ex-wife," he added quickly, correcting himself.

"Hello Sandra." Sharon extended a hand. "It's nice to finally meet you. This," she looked down and her smile brightened, "is Emily, my daughter."

Her smile felt strained, even to herself. Sandra shook the woman's hand. Her gaze was drawn to the little girl. She was all dark hair and big brown eyes. Her eyes lifted. She seemed very comfortable with Andy, and while she looked like her mother, Sandra couldn't help but wonder just what her ex-husband's association was with this woman, and especially the child. "Hello," she said to both of them. Her gaze dropped to her own child. He had always looked just like his father; there was never any questioning where he had come from. Her jaw clenched for just a moment, but Sandra forced herself to relax. "This is Charlie," she said. Her hand combed through his dark hair. "Charlie, can you say hello to Miss Sharon and Miss Emily?"

He seemed to lean back, trying to get even closer to his mother. His head ducked, but he gave them a polite smile. "Hi."

His voice was so quiet, so small, that Andy almost didn't hear it. He knelt down in front of him, unable to wait even another minute. "Hey buddy, can I get a hello too?"

Charlie looked at him, but blinked a few times. He finally looked up at his mother. There was a puzzled look on his little face. He wasn't supposed to talk to strangers. "Momma?"

A boy should know his father. Sandra smiled down at him, but she felt an ache move through her. Charlie would know Andy, if things had been different. If he had bothered to put down the bottle any of the times that she asked; if he wasn't gone so often, working or drinking, or doing God only knew what else. "Charlie, say hello to your dad."

He watched his son's eyes get wide, and then Charlie just stared at him. "Hey pal, it's been a while. You got big since the last time I saw you, huh?" He waited a couple of seconds, but his son didn't say anything. Andy tilted his head, smiled at him. "Are you playing ball yet? Looks like you've got a good arm."

Sandra almost stumbled with how heavily Charlie was leaning against her. She combed her fingers through his hair again and knelt down beside him. "Why don't you tell your dad about baseball camp? You had a lot of fun at that."

"Yeah." Charlie only shrugged and smiled shyly.

There were a lot of people around them, so when the hostess picked up the menus and walked toward them, Sharon laid a hand on Andy's shoulder. "We're going to go ahead, why don't you stay here and find us in a little while?"

He had honestly forgotten all about them. Andy looked up at Sharon and nodded. He gave her a grateful smile. "Yeah, I'll do that."

"Sandra, it was good meeting you," Sharon told her. "Goodbye, Charlie." She waved, and then shifted Emily on her hip and followed the hostess toward their table.

She waited until they were gone before she stood up again. "A friend from work?" Sandra didn't want to cause a scene, but the questions were burning in her mind.

Andy stood up with a sigh. "Sandra…" This was not the place for one of their arguments. Hadn't they done enough of that? He shook his head. "Yeah, she's a friend. We work together," he shrugged. "She lives in my building, that's how we met. She works patrol up in North Hollywood right now." He watched his ex-wife's eyes narrow. Andy could see the wheels turning in her head and felt his own frustration rising. "I met Em when I met Sharon," he told her in a quiet voice. "It's not like that." He wouldn't tell her Sharon's history, because it wasn't his to tell, not to someone that he couldn't guarantee wouldn't use it against her.

Sandra looked behind her when the waitress at the counter called out to get her attention. Her order was packed up and waiting. "Look, Andy, we really need to go. I promised Charlie that we'd get pizza and go to the park."

"No… yeah…" He stepped back and pushed his hands into his pockets again. He was itching to reach for his kid, but Charlie didn't even know him. Even though he nodded, Andy frowned. "You guys should go, before it gets cold."

"Right." Sandra walked over to pick up their meal. She had already paid for it. "Look, Andy, it was good to see you," she told him. You look…" She trailed off, not entirely sure what she should say, or even what she really wanted to say. "You look better than the last time that I saw you," she said. It was true. She hadn't seen him since their day in court. He was wearing clothes that it looked like he had been sleeping and drinking in for a couple of days. He had a hangover that day, and quite possibly was still intoxicated. He'd had a sickly pallor back then, from too many hours spent inside, first working and then in a bar drinking… or laid out on their couch sleeping it off. Now he was looking fit and tan, and even his hair was shining. The beard was new, and a bit odd, but she didn't think it was terrible.

Sandra had heard that he was sober. Her lawyer got regular updates. She knew that he was maintaining, so far. She also knew that he had petitioned for an earlier hearing. It was denied, but she didn't feel terrible about that. Andy had to _stay_ sober before she would be able to trust Charlie with him. It wasn't that she wanted to keep them apart, but she had to protect her little boy.

An awkward silence settled over them as they stood there. She needed to go, but Andy wasn't ready to say goodbye yet. He looked down at Charlie again and smiled. He wanted to say that he would see him again soon, but he didn't know if that was the case. "Hey buddy, have fun at the park," he managed instead, and found himself having to force the words out.

"Come on," Sandra prompted her son forward. She took his hand and guided him toward the door. There was a part of her that felt bad, pulling him away from his father like this, but this was not a meeting that she had been prepared for.

He turned where he stood, and watched them until they were gone. Andy raked a hand over his face with a sigh. Somehow, just having those too few minutes with Charlie was even worse than not having seen him at all. It hurt even more to be faced with the realization that his kid hardly knew him. He was tempted to go after them, but he remained where he was. There was a burning in his gut and an ache in his chest. Suddenly, he just wasn't very hungry anymore.

Andy finally moved. He had to force himself to turn away from the door; his feet felt heavy. It was all he could do to stop himself from leaving. There was a voice, in the back of his mind, reminding him that there was a place he could go, just two blocks down the road, where he could pick up the key to shutting off the pain he was feeling. Andy could almost taste the bourbon on his tongue. He closed his eyes and fought to ignore it. He walked past the counter and into the restaurant proper. His gaze swept the crowd and he spotted Sharon and Emily at a booth near the back corner. He plastered a smile onto his face when he joined them, but it felt as fake as he knew that it probably looked. "So," he slid onto the bench across from them, "what are we having?"

Sharon studied him carefully. She had Emily seated in her lap, and was allowing her to play with a napkin while they waited for him. His eyes were pained, and the happy smile from earlier was gone. Sharon understood it, and she ached for him; she knew very well just how much he was missing his son. Part of her wondered if that would be Jack and Emily, if he ever bothered to turn up again. She couldn't help but get drawn into the parallels of their two lives.

Her smile was warm, and filled with compassion. "I decided that we should get it to go. I ordered us a large pizza, but I also got the spaghetti and wraps that you mentioned. I hope that's okay?" She wasn't sure that he would feel like being around a lot of people now, or if he would even want to eat.

"Yeah," Andy was honestly relieved. He wanted to get out of there, but he didn't want to leave Sharon and Emily stranded this time of day. His car was in a lot back at the beach, and he didn't want them on a bus at this hour. "That sounds great, actually. We can stop and grab some sodas on the way back to the apartment. I think I'm out," and Sharon didn't really keep soda around all that often.

"We can do that," she agreed. "They said it might take a little while, so I ordered an appetizer too. Just mozzarella sticks," she said with a shrug. Emily would like them, and it would keep her patient until she was at home and properly fed. She shifted Emily on her lap and tilted her head at him. "Andy, are you okay?"

He shook his head and looked away. "Not here." It was hard enough keeping his head from going down every dark road, from turning over every mistake and beating it to death. He drew a breath and smiled again. Andy hoped it was a little more genuine. "We can talk about it later." He reached across and tugged on the napkin that Emily was playing with. "What've you got there, monkey girl?"

"Napkin." Emily let him take it from her, but then she stretched across the table.

"No." Sharon pulled her back. There was only so much horsing around that she would allow, and none of it while they were seated in a restaurant. She gave Andy a pointed look. "We're settling down right now."

"Aw," he pouted at her. "Mom," he whined playfully, "come on!"

When his bottom lip jutted out and his eyes fluttered, Sharon snorted before she could help herself. She shook her head at him, mouth already twitching toward a smile. "I said no," she repeated.

"Mom." Emily leaned back against her. She looked up at her mother, and reached up to touch her chin. She managed, somehow, to mimic Andy's tone, which had the man smirking.

Sharon noticed that none of it really reached his eyes. He was trying to be normal, and she was certain that was probably more for Emily's sake than her own. She reached across the table and curled her hand around his wrist. "We'll definitely talk about it later," she promised. It was already eating him up, and she decided, very quickly, that she didn't like seeing him unhappy.

Andy bowed his head for a moment. He nodded at her. Anything he might have said was delayed by the arrival of the appetizer. It was placed in front of them, along with their drinks, and he noted that Sharon had ordered iced tea for the two of them, and lemonade for Emily. Andy only grinned at that, this time a little more genuinely. She was always trying to curb his soda habit.

After they were left alone, they settled in, snacking while they waited for their carryout order. Andy was pretty sure that Emily wouldn't make it home before she was asleep. That was probably best, because he wasn't sure how much longer he could put on a cheerful front for a child that wasn't even his, while his son was off somewhere, enjoying a very similar meal without him.

It took another half hour to get their order, and then they had to walk back to where the car had been left. Andy smiled when, not even five minutes into the drive back across town, Emily was already snoozing in the backseat. The kid had wrapped her arms around the small, stuffed monkey that he had gotten her at the zoo a while back, the toy she always insisted on riding with, and had gone right to sleep.

The ride was quiet. Andy's mind had nothing to do but wander. He thought about Charlie and Sandra and all of the things that had gone wrong. His thoughts dredged up all of his mistakes, and the many things he could have done differently. He'd be at the park right now, instead of stuck in afternoon traffic, enjoying a good pizza, and maybe even tossing a ball around with his son. He imagined they'd be laughing, having a good time. Later, they'd go home, and he and Sandra would cozy up to a movie after Charlie had gone to bed. It would have been a good day, and maybe even a really good night.

Instead, he was in a car with a bad air conditioner, moving slowly across town, with a woman that wasn't his wife and a kid that wasn't his son. The smell of pizza and roasted pepperoni filled the interior of the car. Andy found that a little irritating. It should have been making him hungry, and on any other day, it would have, but on that particular afternoon he just wanted to get away from all of it.

When they got back to the apartment, Andy helped Sharon inside. He carried Emily while she got the food and the sodas they stopped for at the store. On any other day, he'd have just put the baby to bed, but he handed her to Sharon the minute that her hands were free. He watched her walk down the hall with the sleeping kid, and ran a hand through his hair. Andy stood there, and waited the few minutes it took for Sharon to tuck Emily in for her nap and come back. When she started toward the counter, where she left the food bags, he stopped her.

"Look, Sharon, I'm going to take off." He saw the worry in her gaze. "I just need to get out of here for a little while." He was itching to leave.

"Andy." She put a hand on his arm. "I understand that you probably want to be alone right now. But sit down, eat first. We can talk—"

"No." He didn't want to talk. He ran a hand through his hair again. "I'm sorry. Maybe later. I just… I have to go." He walked toward the door. "I'll see you later, okay? I hope the Monkey enjoys her spaghetti."

Sharon sighed. She joined him at the door. He was antsy. Sharon folded her arms across her chest. "I know this day could have ended on a much better note, but please don't do anything stupid."

Andy stared at her for a moment. He couldn't promise that he wouldn't. He didn't know where he was going to go, but he knew that he had to get away from there. "I'll see you later," was all that he said before he walked away from her.

"Dammit." Sharon sighed as he went down the stairs; he veered left at the fountain, and instead of crossing to his own apartment, Andy went out the gate. She shook her head. She could only hope that his plan only included talking to Sandra to get more time with Charlie, and not finding a bottle to drown his upset in. Sharon closed the door with a quiet click and walked back through the apartment.

She suspected that Emily would nap for a couple of hours, and she wasn't very hungry at the moment. Sharon put the food away and decided to take a shower. It was going to be a very long evening. She attempted to not worry about Andy, but it was impossible now. She cared about what happened to him.

Sharon wouldn't say that her feelings went beyond friendship, not at this still early stage in their relationship, but she did care about him. He was good to her, and he was good to Emily. He was a good cop, and she knew that he loved his son. He wanted to be better. He wanted the opportunity to prove that he could be a decent dad. He hadn't walked off without a word to anyone. He was trying, and in Sharon's mind, that had to count for something.

There was a part of her that wondered what their relationship must have been like, Sandra and Andy. What did it take for a woman to throw her husband out of her life? What did it take to keep a father away from his son? Sharon knew only what Andy told her, and he was pretty candid about it. He said that he wasn't a nice guy when he was drinking. He had never hurt either of them, and didn't think he ever would have, but he was an asshole when there was a drink in his hand.

Sharon thought about that while she spent Emily's naptime cleaning up the apartment. She picked up discarded toys and sorted dirty laundry. All the while, her mind turned over the events of her own marriage. She and Jack definitely had their arguments. He drank too much, and he spent too many evenings away from them, but she couldn't imagine kicking him out. Sharon tried to imagine what she would do if Jack came back, sober and healthy, and ready to be the father and husband they needed. Would she accept him back? Sharon couldn't imagine that trusting him again would be easy. She also couldn't imagine keeping Emily away from him, not if he could be the kind of father that she needed.

For that reason, Sharon had a very hard time fathoming why Sandra was keeping Andy from his son. She understood the need to protect her child, but he was sober. He was leaping through every hoop that was placed in front of him, but it didn't seem to be enough. The pain that she felt for him only got worse. She feared that Andy would throw all of his hard work away because he was being met with an immovable wall of distrust. At what point were they meant to stop punishing those that hurt them, and start meeting them halfway?

That was the question on Sharon's mind as she spent the rest of her day with only her daughter as company. She and Emily had eaten dinner, and Andy was right, it was all very good. She had watched a movie with Emily, and they had played for a while. Then it was time for bath and bedtime. Sharon had taken a glass of wine out onto the stoop outside her door, and stood against the rail with the poor security lighting at her back. She listened to the sounds of the city while she gazed across the courtyard. Andy's apartment was dark. The little light over his sink would be on if he was home. She continued to worry for him as she drank her wine and eventually fell asleep on her sofa, while an old movie played quietly on the television.

She wasn't sure how long she slept. A quiet knock at the door woke her sometime in the middle of the night. She wasn't entirely surprised to find Andy there when she opened the door. He leaned against the frame and bowed his head. When he looked at her with his sad eyes, Sharon pulled him into the apartment.

He wasn't drinking, and he wasn't drunk. She felt a moment of elation and profound relief at that. Wherever he'd gone, and whatever he had done, he returned with his sobriety in tact. She knew how important that was to him, how important it was to his efforts of getting his rights to his son back. She felt a little pride that he had not unraveled all of his hard work.

Sharon closed the door behind him and they stood in front of it. Her hand slid down his arm. He was still wearing the clothes he had on that afternoon and his skin was cold, almost frigid to the touch. The summer days were warm, almost brutal, but the evenings brought much cooler temperatures. Sharon rubbed his arm again, as if to warm it. "Where did you go?" She asked quietly, voice barely above a whisper.

"Walked for a while." He shrugged. "Then I came back and got my car. I drove. I went over to Sandra's and just sat outside the house for a while. Then I found a store… and thought about going inside." He had wanted the bourbon so badly he could taste it. He could feel it burning in his stomach. "Ended up out by the water instead." He sat in his car and watched the moonlight dance across the waves. He thought about walking into the ocean and disappearing into that darkness. "Then I found a meeting." Andy had done what his sponsor told him to do when he didn't feel like he could handle it by himself. He drove around again, checked every center and church that he knew until he finally found someplace that had a Saturday night meeting. He still wanted a drink, but not as badly as he had before. "I don't want to go home," he whispered thickly.

"It's late." She told him. Sharon curled her hand around his wrist. She pulled him with her toward the hall. What he needed to do was sleep. His uncertainty and his pain pulled at her, and she couldn't send him home. He might have gone off upset, wandered the city all night, but he had returned, still upset, but as sober as when he left. In her experience, Jack would have stumbled into the house, pawed at her for a while, and eventually passed out on the sofa… if he had come home at all. It was another line that she was able to draw between those two men, and another way in which she felt that Andy needed all of the help that she could give him.

They lay down in her bed, Sharon in only the t-shirt and gym shorts that she put on after her shower, and Andy in the clothes that he had worn that day. He was quiet, but she could feel in the bunching of the muscles of his arms and back that he was still fighting with his emotions. His arm curled around her hips, and Sharon allowed it. Her fingers combed through his hair while he lay with his head resting against her shoulder.

"He didn't even know me," Andy said finally, quietly.

"He will." Sharon wouldn't patronize him by mentioning how young Charlie was. The boy was almost four. He had some sense of his father, but no, she couldn't imagine that he did fully remember who he was. He should, and she believed that he would. Sharon drew a breath and let it out slowly. "Andy, maybe you should give it a few days and call Sandra. Maybe it's time to cut the lawyers out of it."

"What do you mean?" His head shifted, and he looked up at her in the dark. There was hardly any light from the single window in her room, and it was tinted a sickly yellow from the security lights. "We don't go back to court until October," he reminded her.

"I know." She continued to comb her fingers through his hair. Her other hand stroked the length of his forearm. "But the lawyers are just strangers. They don't know you. They don't know her. Sandra saw you today, and she got to see for herself that you're doing better. Maybe it's time to cut through all of that crap and work this out between the two of you." Her nails raked gently against his scalp, right at the base of his head. "You were married to Sandra, not the lawyer."

"Yeah, but it was the judge that sent me to rehab," he reminded her. "He's the one that said I couldn't see Charlie until I got cleaned up."

"And you did," she reminded him patiently. "You went to rehab, Andy. You've stayed sober. You will still have to keep the October court date, but there is no law that says that you and Sandra cannot make your own arrangements. It's not against the rules. In fact, I think the court will probably appreciate the fact that the two of you are working together for Charlie's sake." She shrugged at him. "How many domestic cases do we get called in to? How many of them would turn out a lot better if the parents just quit trying to hurt each other and did what was best for the kids?"

He grew silent. Andy stared at the wall. He watched the shadows play across the room. She was right. In a lot of the cases they got called out on, the spouses were so busy trying to punish each other, no one gave a damn what was happening with the kids. They saw too much of this crap in their work. Andy just didn't know if Sandra would be willing. Asking her was just the beginning. He guessed the worst that could happen was that she would say no. "What would you do?"

"I don't know," she admitted. Sharon shook her head. "What's best for Emily. I'd want her to have her dad, but he's not here." It was a painful admission. She was alone. At the end of it all, she had no one to attempt to work with. It was only her, making all of the decisions and hoping that they were the right ones. Sharon rubbed her lips together. She scraped her teeth across her bottom lip and inhaled deeply. "Andy, I'm not Sandra," she felt like she had to remind him of that.

"I know that." His hand had splayed across her stomach. Her t-shirt had ridden up. His fingers dipped beneath it to caress the warm skin. He tipped his head up. His beard tickled her skin, and his lips moved against the soft spot just below her ear. "You still think I'm worth something," he rumbled quietly.

"Hm." She only hummed her affirmative. He continued to stroke the skin of her stomach, edging every steadily higher. She hadn't stopped him. She closed her eyes at his boldness. " _Andy,_ " his name left her on a sigh.

He rose over her. His arms bunched and muscles flexed as they held his weight. Andy stared down at her. In the poor lighting, her eyes were dark. "Want me to go?"

His intent was pretty clear. He wanted to feel something, and he wanted to feel it with her. They had been dancing around this tension for weeks. They had intended to wait, but now, she couldn't entirely recall why. Whatever they were to each other, now or in a few weeks, it didn't seem as if this pull between them was going to go away.

His t-shirt had fallen away from his body. Sharon slid her hands up his sides and let her fingers dance against his heated skin. She felt ribs and muscles beneath her fingertips. She lifted her head off of her pillow and pressed her lips against his. He remained where he was, waiting for her answer while their mouths slowly merged and moved together.

It was filled with all the heat that their attraction had promised. When it ended, Sharon lay back down. She looked up at him. She could feel the burn of his gaze. "No," she whispered in response. "Stay." Her hands remained beneath his t-shirt. They moved to his chest. Her nails raked through the hair that she knew covered his skin before she slowly drew her hands back down again. It wasn't her that he wanted, not really, at least not tonight. She really should send him away, she thought, but she wasn't entirely enthused with the idea of being alone, either. She spent enough time alone.

Andy wanted more than she could really offer him; he wanted the past; that was where his mind was. She knew that, at least she told herself that she did. It was hard to reconcile with herself how someone who could be so wonderfully kind, so good with her child, could also be so broken.

Andy stared down at her. Even in the poor lighting, her skin seemed to glow. He watched her draw her bottom light between her teeth, watched her worry it. The muscles in his arms rippled as he slowly lowered his head. He drew her lip into his mouth and let his tongue soothe the abused skin. Andy moved a hand to her hip and let it slide along her leg, past the cuff of her shorts. His fingers stroked the smooth length of her thigh as he slowly lowered himself over her. He drew her leg up and around him and then he ground against her, pushing their bodies together while his mouth angled over hers. When her fingers curled into the waist of his shorts, and her hips rolled against him, Andy lifted his head. He looked down at her, lips swollen, chest rising and falling with each quick gasp of air.

There was a sadness in her eyes, and a longing that he knew too well. It was a sadness that he realized that he had seen before. They were both in the same place, alone and drifting, but for different reasons. He wanted what he couldn't have, and she wanted what had slipped out of her grasp, but here they were, hurting together. "It's gonna be okay," he rumbled quietly. He didn't know what he was promising, but for tonight, at least, no one was going to hurt her.

She lifted her hands to his face. Sharon brought his lips back to hers, this time they came together and it was all lips and teeth, heat and the ache of arousal chasing away pain and better judgment. They rolled across the bed, until she was straddling him. Clothes were pushed aside and discarded, and for at least the moment, neither of them was alone.

 **-TBC-**


	7. Chapter 7

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

 **A/N:** Remember there are 19 chapters written as of this posting. A lot is already set in stone for this story, with much more to come. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 7**

Sharon woke the next morning to an empty bed, but the smell of breakfast being made. She wasn't really sure what she expected to wake up to. Their relationship certainly wasn't built on romance, and the night they spent tangled together was not mired in some deeper, emotional yearning for each other. It was sex, very good sex, she thought, and smiled as she stretched. Her sheets smelled of it, and when she turned her face into her pillow, she smelled Andy there, in the faint traces of his cologne, and the smell of sand and ocean that had also clung to his skin the night before.

Sharon sighed. She was not unaccustomed to waking to the smell of sex and man lingering to her sheets. She rolled on to her back again and stared at the ceiling. Her body ached in ways that reminded her just how wonderfully used it had been. She had enjoyed it. She wouldn't say that she hadn't, but in the bright morning light, she had to remind herself that she spent the night with a man that was not her husband. Jack might be out of the picture, but they were still married. If she was sleeping with Andy, how was she any better than Jack? She wasn't an idiot. Sharon heard the rumors. She knew that he was sleeping around before he left.

She groaned as she rolled out of the bed. Suddenly her mind was trying to complicate something that, quite frankly, she needed; something that was enjoyable, and could be as simple as sex between friends.

Sharon combed her fingers through her mussed hair as she looked around the floor for her t-shirt and shorts. She found them, laying near the wall, where they had been tossed the previous night. She wriggled into her shorts and pulled the t-shirt over her head as she left the room. She made a stop in the bathroom, where she brushed her teeth and pulled her hair back before making her way to the kitchen. She wanted to at least look halfway presentable before broaching the subject of the previous evening with Andy.

Breakfast seemed to be more or less ready. Sharon spied a plate of bacon and a bowl of eggs on the counter beside the stove. Andy stood at the opposite counter, spreading butter on toast while Emily sat on the counter beside him. Sharon stood, watching for just a moment. He would hand each slice of toast to Emily when he was finished, and she would place it on the plate beside her.

He had showered, she noticed. He had also gone back to his own apartment, at least for a few minutes, long enough to clean up and change his clothes. Sharon smiled as she crossed the small living room. "Look who's up."

"Momma!" Emily lifted her arms and smiled brightly.

"Good morning, baby." Sharon lifted her, careful of her greasy fingers. She peppered her girl's face with kisses before setting her on her feet. She took just a second to wipe her hands before turning her toward the other room. "Go play for a sec, then we'll eat." While Emily toddled off toward a box of toys in the corner of the living room, Sharon turned to Andy. "You didn't have to do all this."

"All of what?" He licked butter off his thumb. "We have breakfast together all the time," he pointed out. She frowned at him, and he leaned over and kissed her. "Good morning," he rumbled quietly.

"Andy." Sharon placed a hand against his chest. She sighed. "I don't want Emily getting confused by this." In the cold light of morning, that was ultimately what mattered most to her. She didn't know if they were making a mistake or not, but whatever it was, she couldn't allow it to have an impact on her child. "She's used to having you here, but not like this."

"Sharon, she's not even two." He pulled her over in front of him. He pressed her against the counter, and let his hands settle against her hips. "She's already used to me being around. She's not going to know the difference." Andy wondered if she had expected him to just use her body and walk away? Whatever this was between them, that was the last thing that he had in mind. He turned his face into her neck and let his lips wander her skin. He knew what she sounded like now, how she tasted, and the sounds she made when he was buried inside her. Maybe she was right to be cautious, maybe it was a bad idea, but he still wanted more. "She's not gonna know that we spent all night doing dirty, nasty things to one another."

"She will if she sees you doing that." She moaned quietly when his hand slid up her side to cup her breast through her t-shirt. " _Andy_." She hissed his name when his teeth scraped across her collarbone. "I don't want her to get hurt by this." It could burn out, last for a few weeks, surely, but eventually fizzle and die. They were damaged, and what they were seeking together was an escape from all he hurt that damage had caused. "I get it. You were in a bad place last night, and being here with me was preferable to what you could have been doing. I'm not bothered by it. I enjoyed myself." A few times, but she wasn't going to stroke his ego, at least not yet. "You needed to feel something, and I'm glad that I could help with that."

He lifted his head and frowned at her. Andy picked her up and set her on the counter in front of him. He moved between her legs and let his hands slide up her thighs to her hips. "Let's call it what it is,"he said. "We can't say we haven't been headed toward this for a while. Yeah, maybe I was an asshole last night for using you like that. The thing is, it's not just about last night, but I think you know that. This..." His hand slid along her thigh again, "whatever it is, it's not about the kid. I like you both, and whatever else happens here, hurting Emily is the last thing that I will ever do," he promised her.

Sharon stared back at him. She believed that. She knew that he was fond of her little girl. "I know," she whispered.

"Good." He kissed her. His hand slid behind her head while he captured her mouth. His tongue danced across her lips, teased them open. When her legs wrapped around him, he curled his other arm around her and lifted her off the counter. He let Sharon slide slowly down his body as he put her back on her feet. His hands cupped her bottom and he drew her against him with a suggestive thrust of his hips. "You get the Monkey and the table, and I'll finish up here," he told her.

Her tongue swept across her bottom lip. Sharon hummed. "We're going to talk about that more later," She promised. She slipped out of his arms with a smirk and sauntered over to get the table set.

"You bet'cha." Andy finished up with the toast, and then carried it and the bowl of eggs to the table. Between the two of them, they had set the table set within a couple of minutes.

They had breakfast together, just as they had on any number of mornings before. Just as Andy said, Emily didn't seem to know that anything had changed. It wasn't at all odd for her to have Andy as a playmate while her mother cleaned up after they had eaten. Andy left around mid-morning, just as he normally did, and went back to his place to take care of his usual Sunday chores. The only thing that really changed between them was that Andy came back, later in the day, while the kid was down for her nap. Normally he would have waited, shown up to watch Emily while Sharon went to the complex's laundry room. He knew their schedule now almost as well as he knew his own. He came back early, however, and while Emily was napping in her bed, he distracted Sharon away from the weekly dusting that she was doing. They were still friends; they just had a few more enjoyable ways of spending time together.

It took about a week for things to settle down between them, for the immediate awkwardness of the change in their relationship to wear off. Quiet conversations on the sofa, after Emily had gone to bed, became hushed talks in Sharon's room. Andy lay on his stomach, a sheet bunched around his hips and a woman straddling his backside while her hands worked the stiffness out of his shoulders. He didn't feel at all out of place, even with how new this part of their relationship was. The room was lit by the lamp beside her bed. They had started the evening by watching the game together, but when it was obvious that the Dodgers were going to lose, they retreated to the bedroom.

"Do you really think I should do it?" He asked, and grunted when her fingers dug into a particularly sore spot. "Call Sandra and see if she'll let me see Charlie?"

One rough night and a shift to becoming lovers had not chased away the heartache that he felt. Sharon was keenly aware of that. He had gone to three meetings that week, where he usually only went to one, two if work was particularly difficult. Sharon hummed while she kneaded his shoulders. He had gotten into a scuffle with a suspect the previous day. There was an especially nasty bruise across his left shoulder blade. "I do," she told him. "No one wants what's best for your son more than you two. I think it will speak a lot to how much you're willing to work with her if you reach out beyond the lawyers. I can't believe that she really wants Charlie to not have his dad."

"What would you do?" Andy lifted his head. He waited for her weight to shift before he twisted and moved on to his back. Sharon resettled herself across his thighs and he laid his hands against her hips. She was still wearing a t-shirt, but there was nothing underneath it. "If it was you and Jack," he asked, "what would you say?"

"It's not me and Jack," she reminded him, "and I'm not Sandra." It was important that they both keep that in mind. That said, her head tilted and she considered his question. "If it was me, I would hear you out. How I feel or what I think wouldn't be important. I would want what is best for my child." She shrugged a shoulder and smiled sadly at him, "that's all I ever wanted."

Jack had left her, accused her of being a controlling nag. Andy sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist. His hands slid under her t-shirt, moved up her back. She hadn't told him everything, but she said enough. What he knew of the other man was plenty to fill in the blanks. It was always on the tip of his tongue to ask her just how bad it had gotten, but he didn't. Sharon was still pretty private about that part of her life, and Andy hated seeing her sad. "I'll call her tomorrow," he decided. "Maybe… I don't know, maybe she will want to have coffee or something. She's pretty pissed off at me."

"At some point that has to stop," Sharon told him. "Anger doesn't do anyone any good, and it's not good for Charlie. Make sure when you talk, that you keep it about him. It's not about how you feel, or how she feels, but what's best for him."

"You're keeping me sane, you know that?" He was pretty lucky, and not because he was about to have his hands all over every part of her. He couldn't talk about the problems he had with Sandra at work. Those guys, his old drinking buddies, even his partner, none of them really got it. They placated him by calling his ex-wife names, and that wasn't what he wanted. Sandra hadn't done anything wrong, he had. He tried talking to his mother about it, but she told him to go home and make things right. His sisters just reported everything back to his mother, and often echoed her opinion on the matter. He tried talking to his dad about it once, but shame had filled him, closed up his throat and made the words impossible to form. The way he acted, the things that he did. That wasn't how a man behaved. It wasn't how he was supposed to take care of his family. Andy knew that he had disappointed his family, especially his father, and one day he would have to hear it, but he wasn't ready for that just yet. Sharon got it; she was living it, to an extent. She didn't know who he was before the bottle, and she wasn't there for all his screw-ups. That made her infinitely easier to speak to.

"I'm just returning the favor." Single parenthood was hard as hell. She had other friends, and a regular sitter, but it was great to have someone who really got what it was like to both be a parent and have their job. He helped out whenever he could, whenever she would let him. It was important to Sharon to be independent, but she appreciated all of his help and efforts. A slow smile curved her lips. Sharon pressed a hand against his chest and gave him a shove. When he lay back down, she shifted against him. Sharon stretched across him and reached into the top drawer of her bedside table.

Andy picked up the square, foil packet that landed against his chest. "Shit, I hate these things." He huffed a sigh, even while she bent over him and pressed her mouth against his chest.

"I know." Her hand slipped down, past his waist and beneath the sheet to curl around him. Her eyes glittered with mischief as she began to slowly stroke him. "But unless you want to go home and take a cold shower, you're going to put it on," she drawled. She had been on the pill and still managed to get pregnant with Emily, so she wasn't taking any chances. That was the last thing that either of them needed.

"Yeah, I know." He wasn't about to screw things up for them. He tore it open and she sat up again. Andy smirked while she took off her t-shirt. He wrapped an arm around her waist and flipped them, so that she was on her back. He pressed her legs apart and moved between them. He pulled the condom out of it's wrapping and gave her a bland look. "Pink? Really?"

The corners of her mouth twitched. She stretched her arms up and over her head. Sharon watched his eyes move to her breasts and smirked. "You were the one that bought the variety pack. Don't complain to me because you didn't read the fine print." She lifted her legs and laid them over his hips. Sharon wriggled against him. "Are we going to talk about colors, or are you going to show me that real men wear pink?"

"Trouble." Andy shook his head. "I knew you were going to be trouble." He rolled the latex on and leaned over her. "Forget keeping me sane," he grumbled, "you're drivin' me crazy."

"Am I?" She lifted her head and nipped at his lips. "Prove it."

They made enough noise that night that Sharon worried that they might have woken Emily, but the baby slept on, oblivious to the goings on down the hall.

Andy slipped out of the apartment at sunrise to go back to his own place and get ready for work, while Sharon got herself and Emily ready for the day. They saw each other again in the parking lot, while they got into their respective cars. They might see each other later in the day, or it might be evening before they were together again. It could even take a day or two for their paths to be able to cross. The pair of them were not spending all of their off-duty time together, but enough of it coincided.

He thought about her advice that day, and almost let his own uncertainty and fear change his mind, but Andy called Sandra while he was on his lunch break. She sounded surprised to hear from him, despite their running in to one another the previous week.

"What do you want, Andy?" Sandra watched Charlie playing from inside the patio door. There was a small deck, but Charlie was running around the backyard, chasing the dog. She had gotten it for him after his father left. It had provided a much needed distraction at a crucial and painful time in their lives.

"I was hoping we could talk," he told her. Andy spoke quietly. He was at a payphone down the street from Parker Center. This was not a conversation that he wanted his partner or any of the other guys in his division to overhear. "It was good seeing you the other day."

Sandra sighed. Part of her had expected this, but when a week had gone by and she hadn't heard from him, she decided that she was wrong. "Andy, it was nice to see you looking better, but that doesn't change anything." They were still divorced, and she wasn't interested in going back to the way that things used to be.

"I know." He leaned against the side of the payphone. Andy lowered his head as they spoke. "That's not why I'm calling. I know we're done, Sandra. I'm calling about Charlie. I'd like to see him again." He hated begging, it burned in his gut that he had to ask permission to see his son.

"You know what the judge said." Her brows drew together in a frown. "We go back to court in a couple of months. Andy, I know you petitioned for an earlier hearing, but—"

"Sandra…" Andy sighed heavily. "I was there. The judge told me to dry out, and I did that. I've been clean for months. The social worker has been to my place several times. I've passed all the screenings they hit me with. I'm going to meetings and I've got a sponsor. I'm good, Sandra." He raked a hand through his hair. "None of those people know me. They don't know you." When she didn't say anything, he lifted his gaze toward the sky. "Charlie didn't even know me. Is it really good for him to wait? Why are we letting lawyers figure out what's best for our son?"

"We're doing it because I asked you to stop drinking dozens of times and you wouldn't. It took a judge taking Charlie away from you before you finally listened. You're stubborn, Andy. You've always been that way." She bit back any further retort before they devolved into an argument. "How do I know that you're really staying clean? You've always been good at putting on a show when it was necessary. That's how you've managed to keep your job."

"I think you know me better than that," he replied. "I haven't had a drink in months. That doesn't mean that I haven't wanted one. It's hard, Sandra. It's hard every damned day, but I'm doing it. You're right, I'm pretty hardheaded, and I didn't get cleaned up when you told me to. I'm doing it now. I'd really like to see my son… our son. I know I messed up, I'm not saying that I didn't, but doesn't he have a right to know who I am?"

He had always been good at getting under her skin. Andy always knew all the right things to say. Sandra leaned her head against the sliding glass door and closed her eyes. She drew a breath. "I'll think about it," she told him. "That's all I've got, Andy. Give me your number and I'll get back to you in a couple of days."

At least she hadn't hung up on him, he decided. Andy rattled off his home number, and made sure she had his desk extension too. "We can do this better than the damned lawyers," he told her.

"We'll see, Andy. Goodbye." Sandra hung up quickly. Even though she could see every move he made, she didn't want to leave Charlie unattended for too long. She stepped back out onto the deck and waved when he called out to her.

Andy placed the phone back on its hook when the line went silent. He leaned his head against the booth and sighed. He had done his best. The rest was up to Sandra. He was going to have to wait, and that was nothing new. The waiting was just the worst part.

He headed back inside after another minute. His lunch break was almost over, and he spent most of it convincing himself to call Sandra. Andy decided he would grab something from the vending machine later, if he got hungry enough. He was surprised, and pleased, to see a familiar figure sitting at his desk. "Hey." The grin lightened his features, chased the sadness out of his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

Sharon stood as he approached. "I was in the neighborhood." It wasn't often that she got downtown while she was on duty. "I had a meeting with Internal Affairs," she explained. She picked up the bag that had been waiting on him and shook it. "I brought lunch."

"IA?" Andy winced. "What the hell do the vultures want with you?" He took the bag from her and opened it. He grinned. "Onions?"

"Of course." Sharon folded her arms across her chest. She had picked up a patty melt from the café a few blocks over. She knew that he liked them, especially with grilled onions and mushrooms heaped on top. "I hit a drunk. He swung at me first; I was only defending myself, but you know how it goes. Every _I_ has to be dotted, and every _T_ has to be crossed."

He made a face at her. "You like rules entirely too much." It was disturbing. Andy sat down behind his desk. "Did you eat yet?"

"Yeah," she shrugged as she leaned against the edge of his desk. "Your partner said you had to step out for a while, so I didn't wait." Her brows lifted in askance. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I just went down the street to call Sandra, that's all. I didn't want to do it here." Andy pulled the sandwich out of the bag and began unwrapping it. She had gotten him fries too. They had started to cool, but still looked great. His mouth watered at the aroma of deep-fried potato.

"How did it go?" Sharon didn't want to sound too concerned. He didn't seem overly upset, but he wasn't elated either. Andy was a moody creature. He wore his emotions on his sleeve. She was sure that she would know by now if it had gone really well.

"She said she would think about it." Andy sighed. "It's not a no, but…" He shook his head. "I just wanna see my kid. I'm getting kind of tired of people asking me to wait around until they decide that I'm worth a shit."

"I know." She laid her hand against his desk, near enough that her pinky could touch his hand. "You're right, though. She didn't turn you down, and I think that is probably a very good sign, Andy. If she's willing to think about it, then I think she might be open to the idea."

"Maybe." He didn't want to get his hopes up, but they were already pretty high. "I guess we'll find out."

"Hey, Flynn!" A voice yelled from across the bullpen. "If you're done messing around with your girlfriend, maybe you can get back to work. Those reports aren't going to finish themselves!"

Andy leaned around her to scowl at the owner. "Back off, they'll get done when they get done!" The old sergeant waved him off with a grumble, and Andy shook his head. "I really don't like that guy," he muttered.

"Who does?" Sharon smiled down at him. "Provenza's attitude problems are as much an institution around here as our uniforms." She pushed away from his desk. "I should get back anyway. Come by after work," she said quietly, "we can talk about it more then, if you feel up to it."

"Yeah," He nodded. "If I get out of here at a decent hour, I'll drop by." He wouldn't come over too late. He didn't want to risk waking up Emily, and they both had pretty demanding jobs. He didn't want Sharon having to wait up for him.

"I hope you do." She flashed a smile. "I'm making a pot roast."

"God almighty." Andy groaned. She had only made the pot roast once, in the time that he had known her, and it was a thing of dreams. "Go back to work, Officer, so I can get this done. Sounds like I've got plans later."

She laughed as she walked away from him. Andy was really so very easy to please. It was one of the many things that she liked about him. "Have a good day, Detective."

Andy looked up when movement at his desk drew his attention again. His brows drew together in a frown. "What?"

Sergeant Provenza was scowling at him. "How the hell did you get _her_ to go out with the likes of _you_?" More than one had tried since Raydor's husband had split. She had turned them all down cold. He was not, thankfully, one of them. Women were nothing but headaches, as his third wife was proving only too well.

"Who said we're going out?" Andy rolled his eyes at the older man. "We're just friends. We've worked together a few times, that's all." When the other man snorted, he scowled. "Maybe she likes me because I don't treat her like a piece of meat? Any of you jerks ever thought about that? Now, if you don't mind, I'm trying to get back to work like you said."

"Friends?" He made a face. "Uh huh." He didn't believe that for a second. Provenza walked away shaking his head.

Andy watched him go. He grunted before he dropped his attention back to the reports in front of him. He took a bite out of his sandwich and flipped pages while he chewed. They were all gossiping teenagers, he decided, the whole lot of them. He and Sharon were going to have to be a little more careful if they didn't want rumors circulating about them. The last thing he wanted was anyone getting the wrong idea about her.

As it turned out, Andy managed to get out of the office at a decent hour. It was a couple of hours past the scheduled end of his shift, but it wasn't too late. He went back to his place first and showered off the long day before changing in to a pair of comfortable jeans and a t-shirt. He hadn't heard from Sandra again, and there were no messages waiting on his machine, but Andy wasn't surprised. She said she would call him back in a couple of days, and he figured she would use up all of that time before finally telling him her decision.

He put it out of his head as he made his way across the courtyard. He knocked quietly on Sharon's door before pushing it open. It wasn't late enough for Emily to be in bed, but he didn't want to risk waking her if she had gone down early. "Hey, it's just me," he called out, and let his gaze sweep the interior of the apartment as he stepped inside.

"Kitchen." Sharon leaned across the counter and smiled at him. "Hey. It's still in the oven. I got held up on a call." Sharon was an hour late picking Emily up, and had still needed to go to the store. "I hope you don't mind waiting?"

"Damn." He made a face at her. "I was expecting a hot cooked meal the minute I walked in the door." She was wearing a short, denim skirt and a red halter-top. He decided it was his new favorite look. He leaned against the counter across from her. "If it's not on the table when I get here, what kind of girlfriend are you?"

"Oh?" Her brows rose toward her hairline. They both knew he was teasing. It was what kept her from pushing him out the door and down the stairs. Sharon's lips pursed as she leaned toward him. "Girlfriend?" Her voice dropped an octave, but her eyes continued to sparkle. "Is that what I am?"

"Well." He shrugged a shoulder. "Why the hell not?" He dropped a kiss to her lips. "You cook for me. We go out. We're sleeping together. Yeah, I think so."

"Mmhm." Sharon drew back from him with a smile and turned to finish rinsing the dishes that she had been washing when he got there. "Whatever would your mother think?" She asked him.

Andy snorted. "Probably the same thing that yours would." He rounded the end of the counter and stepped into the kitchen. "Hey monkey girl." She had Emily contained in her high chair with a couple of toys. Andy unclasped the straps that kept her from climbing out of it and lifted her.

Sharon's head tilted while she considered his response. "There's some truth to that. It's probably best if we don't tell them."

"Good thinking," he said, and bounced the baby in his arms.

Sharon glanced back when she heard Emily squeal. "She's already had dinner. I wouldn't get her too excited right now if I were you." She had known the roast would take a couple of hours, so she had given her daughter soup and a half a sandwich. Emily had eaten her dinner while Sharon had worked on getting the roast and vegetables into the oven.

Andy lifted Emily over his head. "You wouldn't puke on me, would you?" She reached for his bearded cheeks and squealed when he tossed her toward the ceiling.

" _Andy!_ " It drove her insane when he did that. He always caught Emily, and it wasn't that she didn't trust that he would, but it made her stomach drop every time. "Okay, that's enough." She dried her hands off and began shooing them toward the living room. "Out of the kitchen. Go play somewhere else."

"Come on, Em." He tossed her over his shoulder. "Let's go find some toys. Maybe we'll figure out where mom hid the tea set."

"If I catch you in that tiara again, I'm taking pictures," Sharon warned. "They will be posted on every bulletin board, in every precinct in the city. I'll even give Mike a copy of the negatives."

"Mom's just jealous because I accessorize better than she does," he told Emily.

"I heard that." Sharon went back to the dishes, so he couldn't see her grinning. "You are not as cute as you like to believe you are, Flynn."

"I think I am." He sat down on the sofa with Emily and pulled the box of toys close. "More importantly, I _know_ that you think I am." He could hear her snorting at him and winked at Emily. When she wanted down, he let her go. The two of them spent the next hour half an hour pulling toys out and destroying the living room.

After Sharon finished with the dishes, she checked on the roast. It was browning up beautifully, but would remain in the oven for a while longer. "Okay, kiddo." She joined Andy and Emily in the living room. She didn't think that Emily had a single toy that wasn't currently scattered across the room. "Say goodnight to your friend. It's time for your bath."

Emily let out just a small whine when her mother picked her up. "No bath. Play cars."

"You can play with the cars tomorrow." Sharon settled her daughter on her hip. Andy had brought her twirling princess a pair of police squad cars and a racecar for them to chase. She absolutely loved them, even if she only played with them when he was around.

Emily frowned, and looked like she was gearing up to throw a fit. Andy stood up and dropped a kiss to the top of her head. "Night monkey girl. I'll see you later, okay?"

She pouted at him. "Night-night." Emily waved as she was carried away.

While Sharon was getting Emily bathed and down for the night, Andy picked up the mess they made in the living room. When he was finished, he set the table. The roast was beginning to smell wonderful, and he checked on it before getting comfortable on the couch with the television remote.

He had settled on watching an old movie by the time that Sharon joined him. "She almost fell asleep during her bath." She sat down on the couch beside him and drew her legs up. "So, want to tell me about that call with Sandra?"

"There's not a whole more lot to tell," he shrugged. "She wasn't all that enthused, but she said she would think about it. I don't know what she's going to do. I stopped being able to predict anything where Sandra is concerned a long time ago, probably around the same time that I crawled into a bottle."

She reached out and ran her hand down his arm. "I think you're being too hard on yourself. A lot of time has passed since Sandra asked you to leave. Give her time to realize that she's not angry anymore. Even if she says no this time, you can ask again. I think the fact that she's thinking about it is a good sign."

"I hope you're right." Andy shrugged. "I'm not gonna know until she calls me." He could say that he wouldn't worry about it until that happened, but they knew that wasn't true.

"Well, until then," Sharon stood up. "Let's get something to eat, and I'll give you something else to think about."

"I thought you'd never ask." He tossed the remote aside and followed her to the kitchen. Andy leaned against the counter and watched her put the finishing touches on dinner. "You know, I was joking earlier. We don't really need to have any labels, and I'm okay with that, but I'm glad you're around. I don't know that I would've thought about talking to Sandra like this if it was just me."

"I think you would." Sharon smiled at him. "You don't give yourself enough credit, Andy. I don't have any magic solutions. It's common sense, that's all. Sooner or later, the two of you have to stop communicating through lawyers and start talking to each other."

"Maybe," he shrugged, "but I can be pretty stubborn." He smirked at the sound of her laugh, ringing through the kitchen. "You could disagree, you know."

"I don't like to lie if I can avoid it." Sharon served slices of roast up on a platter along with the potatoes and carrots that she had cooked with it. The platter was lifted out of her hands and Sharon turned toward him. She watched him carry it to the table and followed after a moment with two glasses of water. "As for what you said earlier, labels aren't terrible. As long as there's some truth to them."

"Yeah?" Andy took the glasses out of her hands and placed them on the table. He slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him.

"Yes." Sharon shrugged. "I think you highlighted enough reasons earlier. As long as your sponsor doesn't give you too hard a time about it, I think it's okay. I don't have time for romantic entanglements, Andy. I've been through enough of that. I like having you around. We obviously have a very good time together, and you're very good with Emily. I can't imagine that it would be easy to find all of that if I were actually dating."

His lips pursed. "So then… you're saying that I'm convenient?"

It was the smile that had gotten her into all of this. Sharon rolled her eyes at him when he flashed it at her. "Well, you know what they say. Location, location, loca—" He shut her up with a kiss. Sharon wrapped an arm around his neck and leaned into him. She smiled against his mouth. "Dinner before dessert, Andrew."

"Yes ma'am." He let go of her, only to pull out a chair for her.

Sharon sat down, and watched as he pulled up a chair beside her. He wasn't exactly the boy next door, but he wasn't a terrible person either. He had gotten a little lost, as so many of them did, but seemed to be finding his way back. He treated her well, and wanted to do right by all of the people in his life.

She had no way of knowing or predicting what might happen between them, it could still burn out in a few weeks, but for now, she decided that what they had was enough. He wasn't attempting to sweep her off her feet with grand gestures and romantic overtures. Their relationship was real, and for the moment, it was working. She decided that was all the definition that it really needed.

 **-TBC-**


	8. Chapter 8

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 8**

It was something of a fluke that he saw them. Andy had gone to the sink to rinse out Emily's cup before putting more juice in it, and managed to spot Sandra on the stairs in front of his apartment. He hadn't heard from her, and was starting to think that she had just put him off, and he should expect to hear from his lawyer instead. Andy put the cup down and hurried around to step out into the alcove outside Sharon's apartment. Like his, the stoop was shared with the apartment across from hers. Andy walked to the rail and leaned out. By now, they had cleared the stairs and were headed toward the gate.

"Sandra." He waved as he called out to her. She looked up, and he started toward the stairs, but caught himself. "Come on up," he told her. Andy didn't have but a minute, he turned around and hurried back into the apartment before he was missed, but left the door open for Sandra and Charlie. Little Miss Emily was demanding her juice, and Andy got that for her before she became too upset with him.

Sandra stepped tentatively into the doorway. It wasn't what she was expecting. The furniture was light and warm. "Did I have the wrong apartment? I thought you were in unit Seven?" At least, that was what she had been told. Her brows climbed as she looked around the apartment they were standing in. It looked a little… feminine to her.

"No, I am." Andy grinned as he walked over. "I wasn't expecting you." He shrugged. That wasn't a bad thing, but it was the truth. "This is Sharon's place. Her usual sitter's kids are sick, and she didn't want to expose Emily. I offered to watch the little Monkey for her."

Sharon had pulled an extra shift at the last minute. Her parents wanted her to visit for the long holiday weekend at the end of the month, and Andy had a feeling that she didn't want them to think that she couldn't afford it. She wouldn't talk to him about money, but he remembered what it was like before he became a detective. He had gotten a salary bump when he passed his exam and moved into Robbery-Homicide. Not much of one, but enough. He knew that Emily would fly free, since she was still young enough to occupy Sharon's lap, so she only needed the one round-trip ticket. He imagined that must have eaten into her savings, since the trip was booked, and she was trying to put some of it back now, on top of putting aside a little extra for the trip itself.

"Anyway," Andy waved her inside. "Come on in. Sharon won't mind. You didn't call," he said carefully, "or I could have told you to come over here instead."

"I wasn't certain what our plans would be," Sandra told him. She looked down at Charlie, whose hand she had been holding. She didn't want to admit that she wanted to surprise him. It was a Sunday afternoon, and she recalled only too well how Andy liked to spend the day. She had expected to find him on the sofa, in front of a game, with a drink in his hand… or sleeping off the night before. Neither of those things appeared true at the moment, however. He was alert and apparently full of energy. "Do you…" She looked around again, and finally spotted the little girl from the pizza parlor. She was in a highchair at the table, obviously having her lunch. "Do you watch her over here a lot?"

"Nah, not too often." Andy shrugged. He walked over and took a seat, and waved at them to do the same. "It's easier to keep Em here, since her stuff is already here, but I don't have her all the time. I just kinda fill in when they need a hand. It's convenient, you know, since I live in the other building." Sharon was awfully independent, and getting her to let him watch Emily usually took some arm-twisting, so to speak. She didn't want to rely on him, but he kept reminding her that they were friends, if nothing else, and that's what they did; they looked out for each other.

"I see." Sandra sat on the edge of the sofa. She felt a little awkward. It would have been easier had they been in Andy's apartment, but she felt entirely out of place, doing this in someone else's home. She was also still wondering what his relationship was to that other woman, obviously close if she was allowing him to care for her child. "I thought about what you said," she began, deciding just to dive right into the reason for her visit. "You may be right. We aren't really accomplishing anything by going back and forth between our lawyers."

It seemed like all they were managing to create was a lot of legal fees. The alimony and child support was covering the mortgage and other expenses; she and Charlie were able to live very well off of that, and the money that she had gotten from her parents for the lawyer was beginning to dwindle down to nothing. Most of it was used up by the divorce and initial custody hearing, but the lawyer billed her for each follow-up, and she assumed the same was true for Andy.

"Okay," he said, drawing the syllable out. He didn't want to get too excited. Andy leaned forward in his chair and let his arms drape over his knees. "So, what exactly are you saying?" His gaze flickered to Charlie. As before, the kid was watching him closely. The boy was curious, and a bit shy.

"I'm saying that Charlie and I dropped in to see his dad for a few minutes on our way to the store. We wanted to ask you if you'd like to come by the park next week, while Charlie is at baseball camp. He goes for a couple of hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Maybe we can get something to eat afterward… and we'll go from there." She wasn't ready for him to have unsupervised access yet. She still didn't trust that he was really steady enough for that.

"Yeah." Andy reached up and scratched at his beard. It wasn't quite what he hoped for, but it was a good start. He felt his stomach clench and twist with excitement. "That… okay! It sounds great." He nodded. "I'd love to come by the park." His gaze moved to Charlie. "You know, I played a little ball when I was in school too, buddy."

He was leaning against his mother's legs, quietly watching the pair. "Yeah?" His head tilted speculatively. "At camp we do all the positions."

"He'll be old enough for little league in the spring," Sandra explained. "I heard about the camp from a friend. They go twice a week for about a month in the summer. It wraps up right before school starts." She glanced at Charlie and combed her fingers through his hair. It was thick and dark, much like his father's. Also, like his father, he was in need of a haircut. "That's something else that we should talk about. He'll be going to school this year, pre-kindergarten. If things go well with your visits, he won't be as readily available during the day. I wouldn't want to shuffle his schedule too much."

"Right." Andy nodded slowly. He hadn't considered school, especially with his schedule. He supposed that he should have. "Geez, they grow up fast, don't they?" He got up when he heard Emily begin to bang her cup against the table. That was usually a pretty good indication that she had finished her lunch. Andy used a dishtowel he had at the ready to wipe down her hands and face before he lifted her out of the high chair. Normally, he would have set her down to go play while he cleaned up, but he held on to her as he walked back into the living room. "Okay," he continued, "so that's what? At least half a day, all week long? I guess we both pretty much already know my schedule. I get a couple of weekdays off every now and then, but I've mostly got weekends free." He wouldn't mention that he was pulling a lot of the extra shifts; he didn't see a reason for Sandra to know about that.

"Unless you're babysitting." It sounded a little more biting than Sandra had intended, but he looked very comfortable with that little girl, while his own son hardly knew him. Her head inclined. Without the crowd of the restaurant she was able to better study the girl. She was a pretty thing. She could tell that her dark hair had already reached her shoulders, even if it was pulled back in a bow. "She's beautiful," Sandra said, unable to deny the obvious. "Andy, this isn't going to work if we aren't completely honest with one another. We're divorced now, so what happened before is the past. Is she yours?"

"What?" Andy stared at her wide-eyed. "No. Jesus Sandra!" He shifted Emily on his lap when she flinched at his tone. His hand rubbed her back. She was almost ready for her afternoon nap. He set her down and let her wander toward the toy box. "I did a lot of crap," he said, and lowered his tone to a quiet grumble, "but screwing around was never one of them." He stared hard at his ex-wife, "And besides that, even if I was that big of a jerk, Sharon isn't like that."

"You're together now," she pointed out for him. Sandra raised an eyebrow at him and dared him to disagree. "No woman lets her best guy pal watch her kid, and it must be pretty serious if she's letting a boyfriend do it. Am I wrong?"

"Does it matter?" Andy scowled at her. Charlie went over to inspect the toy box with Emily. He was relieved by that; neither of the kids needed to be in the middle of this. "Like you said, we're divorced. So why does it matter who I spend my time with?"

"Who you have around my son is my business," She said. "I still have friends with husbands on the force, Andy. You didn't honestly think that I wouldn't find out, did you? The wives talk."

"I didn't think it would matter because you threw me out a year ago," he shot back. Andy stood up and paced around the room. "Sharon and I met earlier this summer. We're pretty good friends, and yeah, we're together now. She doesn't like relying on me to watch Emily, but in a pinch, she trusts me more than she would a drop-in daycare service." He saw Sandra shift, watched her gearing up for more of an argument and leaned over the back of the chair that he had been sitting in. "If you're going to ask if she knows that I'm a drunk, the answer is yes."

Sandra's eyes narrowed. "She still leaves you alone with her child?" She was having a hard time wrapping her head around that one. It was difficult for her to let Andy in the same room with Charlie, knowing his past.

"I've been sober for almost a year and she's never seen me drunk," Andy shrugged at her. "So yeah, she has no reason to think that Em wouldn't be safe with me. I told you, Sandra, I'm clean. I'm serious about staying that way. I'm going to meetings; I'm working the program. I don't know what else I can do."

She looked away from him with a sigh. Her gaze drifted to the children. They were playing now. Charlie kept glancing at them, but Emily seemed oblivious to the tension in the room. "Come by the park next week. That's what you can do." Sandra stood up. "We should go. We have a lot to get done today."

"Yeah." He didn't want to fight with her, and that was where their conversation was headed if they didn't end it. "It's just about the Monkey's naptime."

Her head popped up the minute he said the word. Emily made a face at him. "No nap."

"Yes." Andy held out his arms. "Come on."

She whined, but Emily put the car in her hand down and walked over to him. When she was lifted, she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want play," she pouted.

"We'll play with the cars when you get up," he promised. Andy walked around the sofa and knelt down near Charlie. "Hey buddy, it was good seeing you again." He realized it might be too soon for a hug, so he tapped his son on the arm instead. "I'll come see you at the park this week, okay?"

"Okay." Charlie turned the car in his hand over a few times, and then he placed it back in the toy box and walked to his mother. "Are we going to the store now?"

"Yes." She told him they would get ice cream while they were there. "Tell your dad and Emily bye, and we'll go."

He leaned against his mother's leg, but he waved. "Bye."

"Bye buddy." Andy walked them to the door. "Thanks for coming by," he told Sandra. "I'll see you next week."

"Yeah," she replied, ready now to get out of there. "I'll see you then." She took Charlie's hand and left the apartment before the awkwardness could get any worse.

Andy looked down at Emily. "Wait until your mom hears about that." It was certainly interesting. They had managed to keep the discussion from turning into a shouting match, so points for them, he decided. "Let's go get that nap."

"No nap," Emily whined again. She laid her head on his shoulder with a sigh.

"The cute factor may work on your mom," he said, "but I've got both of your numbers." He rubbed her back as he carried her down the short hall to her room. He laid Emily down in her crib and handed her the stuffed rabbit that she liked to sleep with. The kid had a toy for every occasion. The monkey was for the car, the rabbit was for bed, and there was a puppy in the apartment somewhere that she would cuddle with if she was watching a movie. Andy shook his head as he laid a light blanket over her. Emily whined again, but he knew she would settle down after he left the room. She was a pretty good baby, all things considered, not that he had a lot of experience, but he'd heard the horror stories of terrible toddlers and screaming kids.

The room was lit from the single window, and Andy left her door cracked as he stepped out of the room. She was still in a crib, but Sharon had talked about selling it and getting her a small bed. Emily wasn't climbing out of the crib yet, but it was only a matter of time. Andy pushed her door open another inch, just in case, and decided he would hear her if she started trying to escape.

Andy knew that Emily would only nap for about an hour, maybe a little longer than that if he was lucky, so he made quick work of picking up the toys strewn in the outer rooms and cleaning up the lunch dishes. He thought about the visit with Sandra while he washed the dishes. He was used to her being upset with him. That was nothing new at all, so he put it aside. It bothered him that people were talking about his relationship with Sharon, but he supposed that went with the territory. They had more gossiping teenagers on the force than any high school in the country. It was probably inevitable. Even Sharon said as much. It didn't matter what they did, people saw a man and a woman together and naturally sex had to be involved.

Of course, that they were actually having sex now was beside the point. That wasn't how it started, and people didn't need to be running their mouths… especially to their wives. Andy made a mental note to talk to the guys that he worked with. His personal life wasn't fodder for their dinner conversations. Jack had been gone so long that people naturally assumed that Sharon was already divorced, and it didn't matter if she was or wasn't, the state of her marriage and her relationship with him was nobody's damned business. He would make sure that the guys he knew, especially the ones who were letting word get back to Sandra, knew that.

All of that aside, Andy was still pretty excited about how the conversation had turned out. It wasn't terrible. He was going to see Charlie again in a few days. For the first time, in a really long time, things were looking up. Andy couldn't help the giddy direction that his mood took. He tried to slow his thoughts, but already his mind was creating scenarios in which he would have Charlie for the weekend. Fall was fast approaching, but if things worked out he thought they might even be able to squeeze in a ball game if things went well. If they didn't, he had some other ideas for things they could do together.

He didn't want to get too far ahead of himself, but Andy's mood was such that he floated through much of the rest of the day. Once Emily was awake, he walked her to the park a few blocks away. They spent a couple of hours enjoying the swings and the jungle gym, and then he decided to take her to the grocery store.

When they got back, Andy took the groceries that he picked up to his apartment, although there were a few items that he dropped at Sharon's. While he was there, he stuffed a couple of toys, the cars especially, and a change of clothes into a diaper bag for Emily. He also got her high chair. While Emily played, and kept him company, Andy spent the rest of the afternoon cooking, using his kitchen instead of Sharon's for the familiarity of it.

There was a note waiting for Sharon on her apartment door when she got home that evening. " _Get changed and come to my place. –A_ "

It wasn't unusual for them to move back and forth between the two apartments, but the majority of their time together was spent at hers. It had been an incredibly warm day, even warmer in her uniform. Sharon was glad to get out of it, and after hanging up her utility belt and locking away her gun, she decided to take a quick shower before walking across the courtyard. With the day cooling as sunset approached, she slipped into a light sweater and jeans and left her damp hair curling wildly as it tumbled down her back and around her shoulders. Sharon slipped her feet into a pair of simple flats for her walk across the courtyard, and jogged up the stairs to Andy's apartment.

The window beside his door was open, and the aromas coming from inside made her stomach growl and her mouth water. Sharon understood now why he had invited her over. A smile curved her lips as she pushed open his door, although she gave the frame a light knock to announce herself. "Something smells really good in here."

Emily turned at the sound of her voice and threw her arms into the air. "Momma!"

"Hi baby." Sharon walked over and lifted her. "I missed you today." She hugged her girl tight and swayed with her. "Someone smells like pizza." Sharon pulled back from Emily and looked around for Andy. She spotted him in the kitchen. "Andrew, why does my child smell like she's been rolled in marinara sauce?"

He laughed. "She helped me make dinner. I just changed her clothes. I figured the bath could wait until after we ate." Andy wiped his hands and left the kitchen. He had just finished up the last of the dishes. His eyes swept her form. Her face was scrubbed clean and her hair was loose and curling. Andy grinned as he approached. "Hey you."

"Hey." She lifted her face for the kiss and smiled against his lips. That was becoming a habit, and one that she decided that she very much liked. "Happy baby and a home cooked meal," she hummed at him. "It sounds like someone had a good day."

"We did." He walked over to the table, and with a flourish, he lifted the top off the casserole dish that was waiting for her. "Spinach and chicken stuffed manicotti. It's my ma's recipe." It was covered in melted mozzarella and parmesan, with a thick red marinara sauce. "I don't bake, but I picked up some fresh rolls and tossed them into the oven." They were filled with a thin layer of butter and sprinkled with a light coating of garlic. "I know how much you like the green stuff, so there's also a salad."

"Wow." She shifted Emily onto her hip and joined him at the table. "I am impressed." He had cooked for her before, but usually very simple meals, spaghetti, macaroni and the like. For the most part, if he was going to feed her, he would pick something up or order a pizza. "You did all of this?" Sharon gave him a quizzical look. "Why?"

"I might have accidentally dropped Emily on her head…" He grinned when her eyes widened. "Sharon, I'm kidding." Andy moved behind her and slipped an arm around her waist. His lips touched the back of her shoulder, where her sweater dipped, and smooth skin was visible. "I was in a good mood, that's all. I felt like doing something for you. There aren't any motives."

"That wasn't funny." She nudged him with her elbow. She leaned against him for a moment. "Well, it looks great, and it smells even better. I didn't realize how hungry I was until I got over here."

"Good." Andy moved away from her. He held out a chair. "Come on, have a seat. I'll get the Monkey's chair. I brought it over earlier." He had seen Sharon use it to keep Emily contained in the past. It was, he decided, a good way of keeping her in the kitchen and not having her underfoot, or making a mess elsewhere in the apartment.

"Did you help with all of this?" She held Emily in her lap while he retrieved the chair. "No wonder you smell like a pizza parlor," she chuckled.

"Oh yeah, the kid can stuff manicotti like a champ. Start 'em young, that's what I always heard." Andy set the chair down beside Sharon and moved around the table to his own place. "I think she had a good time with it, she was covered. It was pretty funny."

"Mmhm." Sharon shook her head. "I just bet." She could only imagine the mess that Emily must have made, but she was glad that they had a good time together. "So she wasn't any trouble today? I'm sorry you had to spend your day off watching her."

"Don't be." Andy lifted a plate and began serving, first the kid, then Sharon and finally his own. "I told you, I don't mind keeping an eye on Emily for you. We had a good time. We went to the park, she helped me buy groceries, and Sandra stopped by."

Sharon's head snapped up from where she was blowing on Emily's food to cool it. Her eyes widened. "She did?" That was unexpected, but not altogether bad news. "What happened?"

"I almost missed them," he told her. "We were over at your place. I just happened to see them on the stairs. She came by to talk. I invited her in, I hope you don't mind. Emily was eating lunch, and I didn't know what she wanted. I didn't want to risk putting her off, you know?"

"Of course." It was a little unsettling that his ex-wife had been in her apartment, but Sharon pushed that aside. It couldn't be helped, not while he was doing her a favor, and as long as she and Andy continued to be close, she guessed Sandra might cross her path too, occasionally. "What happened? I thought you hadn't heard from her?" Days had passed since he had spoken to Sandra, and she knew that he was getting discouraged.

"I hadn't," he confirmed. "I was surprised to see her. She had Charlie with her, so that was good. They only stayed for a couple of minutes, but it was a really good visit." He wouldn't tell Sharon that they almost argued about her. He didn't see the point in making her worry about that. "She wants me to go by the park next week, while he's doing his baseball camp thing." Andy shrugged. He was still unbelievably excited about it, but he was trying to control it. "She said we could talk about it more then. I mean, that's good right?"

"That's very good." She smiled brightly at him. It was a far cry from the shared custody that he wanted, but it was a step in the right direction. "I'm glad you saw her. Andy, if you had missed them because you were next door…" Sharon shook her head. "I'm going to have to make other arrangements for Emily. I appreciate your help, but—"

"But nothing." He frowned at her. "Sharon, she came by unannounced. I could've been over at your place anyway, whether you were working or not. Hell, if I know Sandra, she was trying to catch me passed out or hung-over. She didn't. What she caught me doing was babysitting for my girlfriend, and I don't mind doing it. I like spending time with the little Monkey, and she's good with me. As long as you and I are doing… whatever this is that we're doing, she and I are going to be in each other's lives, so let me help out."

Sharon sighed. "I appreciate that you feel that way, I really do. I'm just…" She looked away as she trailed off. Sharon shook her head. She didn't know how to put it into words. "Andy, you aren't a substitute for her father. I don't want her to be confused, especially if this reaches its conclusion and you're suddenly not in her life anymore." She looked at him again and her expression held all the worry that she felt on an almost daily basis. "She may not understand the difference between you and I being friends or having a more involved relationship, but she will understand the difference in not having someone that she likes in her life anymore."

"And I already told you," he said, and a little more steel crept into his tone, "that I'm not going anywhere." Andy sat back in his chair. He shook his head at her. "Listen, we don't know what's going to happen, and dammit, I know I'm not her father. I'm not trying to be. She's a good kid and I happen to like her mother a hell of a lot." He pushed a hand through his hair with a sigh. "I'm not Jack. If this burns out, it's not going to be because I walked off."

Sharon looked away from him and busied herself with tearing chunks of bread into more manageable pieces for Emily. "You say that," she said quietly, "but you can't promise anything. Neither of us can. I like you a lot too, Andy, but it's Emily that I have to worry about. It's always the kids that get hurt."

"Sharon." When she wouldn't look at him, Andy stood up and leaned over the table. He tipped her chin up and looked into her eyes. "I don't know what you saw on the job today, and you can tell me about it later, but right now, you and I are good. You're right, I can't promise anything, but I can tell you that you and that kid are the last people that I wanna hurt here. Okay?"

She wrapped a hand around his wrist. Sharon wanted to believe him, but they hadn't known each other for very long and their relationship had moved very quickly, much too quickly for her to be able to fully trust it yet. "Okay," she finally agreed. He certainly seemed convinced. She didn't want to become more invested in him than she already was, but it was hard, when he was so good to them. When he cupped the back of her head and kissed her, Sharon hummed.

He tilted her head back and angled his lips of hers. Her bottom lip was pulled into his mouth. He teased it until he felt her nails bite into his wrist. Andy smiled against her mouth. He pulled back after another moment. "You have no idea what you do to me," he rasped thickly.

"Oh, I think I might." She touched his bearded jaw with the tips of her fingers before he returned to his seat. "Tell me more about your visit," she said.

"Not much to tell," Andy shrugged. "They only stayed for a few minutes. Charlie actually spoke to me this time; it was a whole, actual word. It was great."

If a single word could make him beam like that, she wondered how happy he would be to spend an entire day with his son. Sharon couldn't help but smile in return. She still felt unsettled, but it was good to see him happy. There had been a shadow of sadness to him for as long as they had known each other. She noticed it wasn't present that evening. "That's really great, Andy."

"Yeah," he shrugged, "I guess. We'll see though. There's a lot that we still have to talk about, but it's really looking good." He picked up his fork. "Now, try the manicotti. Em and I worked hard on it. The kid said she was gonna make me stand in the corner if you didn't like it."

"Did she?" Sharon's eyes lit with amusement. "Well, far be it for me to stand in the way of proper discipline." She picked up her fork and leaned forward to take a bite. Her eyes closed. There was an explosion of flavors on her tongue. She could taste the spinach and the chicken, but it was flavored with garlic and basil. "Oh my god." She looked up at him. Sharon blinked at him as she swallowed. "You can cook like this and you never mentioned it?"

"I can make a few things." He grinned at her. "So you like it?" His dark eyes sparkled, but his brows lifted in a hopeful, boyish expression.

"I like it very much," she informed him. "I don't think we'll have to stand you in the corner tonight, Andrew."

"That's good to know." His grin turned wolfish, "but maybe later, if you wanna hold me down…" He laughed when she threw her napkin at him. "Now, now," he admonished. "What kind of example is that for you to set for the kid?" He clucked his tongue as he handed it back to her.

"Well, as my own mother always said, she should do as I say and not as I do." Sharon smirked. "But we can talk about that more later."

"You better believe we will." Andy sat back in his chair. He watched the ladies enjoy their dinner and shook his head. He didn't know what had spooked Sharon, but he would tread carefully for a little while. Like with Sandra, he was going to have to prove himself with her. All he could do was keep trying to show them both that he was solid. That was all that anyone could do.

 **-TBC-**


	9. Chapter 9

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

 **A/N:** Warning – NSFW, rated for this chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 9**

They collapsed against the bed, covered in sweat and panting. The windows were open, but the room was still stuffy. There was a heat wave sweeping the city, and the air conditioner was doing little to combat it. If anything, it made it worse. Sharon had forgone it and had opened the windows and turned on fans instead. Andy stretched an arm over his head and grunted quietly. "Christ that was good. Wanna tell me what had you in such a bad mood?"

He came over when he got off work. Emily was already asleep, but he expected it with the late hour. Sharon wasn't in much of a mood to talk when he arrived. Their relationship had never been just about sex, but that night it was. At first he thought she was pissed at him, since her replies to his attempts at conversation were limited to one-syllable words. When he decided he should go, she had kissed him, and hadn't stopped until he started pulling at her clothes.

"Not really." Sharon rolled out of the bed. She stretched as she stood up. She looked down at the mess that he left on her thighs and stomach and wrinkled her nose. "I'm going to take a shower." They had been in too big a hurry to stop for a condom, but he had at least pulled out when she told him to. They were getting careless. Her entire life felt like it was one careless mistake after another. "Join me or not, that's up to you."

Andy scowled as she left the room. He lay there for a minute, trying to figure her out, and finally got up. He followed her into the bathroom and leaned against the open door while she started the shower. It was going to be a tight fit for two of them, but they could make it work. "What the hell is your problem tonight? Dammit, Sharon. If I did something to piss you off, at least tell me what it was."

"I never said that I was upset." She used a wad of tissues to wipe herself off and tossed them into the toilet with a grimace. "I'm simply not in the mood for a conversation, that's all." She checked the water temperature from the showerhead and tossed a look at him. "Are you joining me or not?"

He pushed away from the door and walked toward her. "Baby, if you want me to fuck you in the shower," his voice rumbled low, "it's going to be a little cramped, but I can do it. Or I can fuck you right here. I can use your body all night, if that's all you want from me right now, but either tell me what's got you pissed off or lose the attitude, because I don't deserve it."

He was towering over her, and she could feel the heat of his body. Her skin was still tingling from the way he'd touched her, just a few minutes before. Sharon drew her bottom lip between her teeth and inhaled through her nose. She could still smell them. It was on their skin, sweat and sex, and the fading traces of his cologne. Sharon shook her head at him. "I'm not angry at you," she said quietly.

Andy felt some of the tension in his shoulders recede. He laid a hand against her hip. "Then tell me what's got you all wound up? Maybe I can help."

"I don't think so." She laid a hand against his chest. Sharon closed her eyes. It was damp with sweat. "This is something that I'm going to have to handle by myself."

"That doesn't mean that you can't talk to me." He tipped her chin up. Steam was trying to fill the bathroom, but the door remained open. It kept it from getting too humid in the room. "Sharon, look at me. What happened?"

"Jack is in town." Misery filled her expression. "Or at least he was. I heard rumors. I didn't think they were true. I thought if he was back, that he would at least try to get in touch with me. We still know the same people, and it's not like my job has changed." She exhaled a shaky breath. "When I didn't hear from him, I figured it was just more of the usual. People talk about things that don't concern them for a number of reasons. But then Mrs. Donaldson slipped a note under my door." She was their apartment office manager. She ran the office, and took care of all the leasing agreements as well as the communication with tenants and potential renters. "The rent check bounced."

"Shit." Andy swore quietly. He ran a hand through his hair. "That son of a bitch, he didn't…"

"Oh, he did." Suddenly feeling vulnerable, she wrapped her arms around herself. "I was the bigger idiot. I should have closed the account when he left, but he had already cleaned us out once. I never imagined that if he ever came back, that he would only be in town long enough to do it again. He wasn't able to take it all this time. I've been hiding cash, in case of an emergency. I know it's stupid, if anyone breaks in here, the first thing they'd look for is the money, but maybe part of me was afraid something like this would happen, I don't know…" Her voice hitched. "I was able to pay the rent, and I put enough back in the account to cover outstanding checks for the car and the electric before I closed it… but…" Her eyes filled with tears, despite her effort to prevent it. "Andy, why doesn't he love us? I can accept that he's stopped loving me, but how can he keep doing this to Emily?"

"I don't know." Anger moved through him, hot and with the potential for violence. If he ever got his hands on that scumbag, Andy was sure that he would do some real damage. He pulled her close and let his arms wrap around her. "He's the worst kind of bastard, sweetheart. I don't get it either, but I do know that he's not worth a second of your tears. He doesn't deserve them, and he didn't deserve you."

She worked so hard to dig herself out of the hole that Jack created when he left her, and just when it began to feel like she had, he repeated the same behavior. Only this time, he didn't even bother to see her. He managed to blindside her a second time. She used to think they had a good marriage. When Jack told her that he loved her, she believed him. She had given that man her heart and promised him her future. He had tossed both of them back at her, and now it was readily apparent that he had only ever just viewed her as a convenient paycheck. Sharon turned her face into Andy's neck and allowed herself to take the comfort that he was offering. "It was my own stupidity. I don't know why I didn't close the account to begin with. It's done now."

"Stop blaming yourself." His hands moved up and down her back. "He had no right to that money. He's the asshole here, not you." Andy kissed the side of her head before he leaned back. "Do you need me to float you for a while? I've got a little put back." She said that she managed to cover her bills, but the trip to Chicago to see her parents was coming up. He didn't want her worrying about how she was going to make rent _and_ enjoy herself in Chicago. She was going to be gone for almost a week, and then rent would be due again before they knew it.

"No." She placed a hand against this cheek. "God no, Andy…" She offered him a watery smile. It was more than generous, but she couldn't take money from him. She wouldn't even allow her parents to pay her way to see them. "We'll be okay," she said. "It might get a little tight around here, but no. Emily and I are fine. If anything, Jack has taught me how to be frugal. Please don't worry about us."

"I can't help it." He kissed the corner of her mouth and let his lips slide across her cheek. Andy drew her close again. "You're important to me," he rumbled against her ear. "I care about what happens to both of you."

She didn't know why, but that brought another wave of tears to her eyes. Sharon wrapped her arms around him. "I'm really glad you're here," she whispered. "I'm sorry I was a bitch earlier."

"I'm not always easy to be around either," he reminded her. "Just keep talking to me. Tell me when you're pissed, even if it's not at me. Shit, especially tell me when you're pissed at me. I don't want this to be something else that I screwed up. You matter, Sharon."

"So do you." She kissed his neck, and then his cheek. "Come on, the shower is going to get cold." She stepped out of his arms and pulled the thick curtain back. "I'll wash your back," she offered with a smile.

"That is not an offer that I could ever turn down." Andy joined her in the shower, and since it was basically identical to his, it was the tight fit that he expected it to be. They didn't have a lot of room to maneuver, but there was not a part of her that was left untouched. He soaped up a sponge, and with the spray at her back, Andy applied it to her skin. He drew it along her arms, across her belly, and around her breasts. He reached over her head and adjusted the nozzle and water rained down on her. Andy chased its path with his lips.

His tongue danced around her nipple, causing her back to arch and her hand to move into his hair. Andy lowered himself to his knees in front of her; his mouth continued to chase rivulets of water as they flowed across her skin. He enjoyed the sound of her moans echoing off the tiled wall when he curled his arm beneath her thigh and drew it over his shoulder.

"Oh!" She reached out blindly and placed her hand against the wall. Sharon's head fell back at the first caress of his tongue against her skin. She was still a little sensitive from their earlier encounter, and could feel heat and arousal already tingling along her nerve endings as his tongue traced along her outer lips.

He held her firmly against him, hand gripping her thigh while his other slipped up her body. It moved over her stomach and steadily higher until he palmed her breast. His lightly calloused palm drug against her nipple; he heard her breath hitch, and dipped his tongue toward her opening. He rolled her nipple between his fingers and tasted the effect he had on her. He hummed when his name left her lips. Andy drew his tongue back toward her clit, circled it, teasing her. When her hips bucked against him and her nails scraped against his scalp, he sucked it into his mouth.

He was teasing her and devouring her all at once. His beard tickled against the inside of her thighs. Sharon looked down at the top of his head. She moaned when his tongue delved into her again, and bit down on her lip. It wasn't enough, she wanted him inside her, but the words were lost to her at the moment. He had touched her like this before, but this felt far more intimate than anything else that they had experienced together.

Sharon tugged at his head. When he looked up at her, it was with an intensity that took her breath away. Her mouth opened, but there was no sound forthcoming. She shook her head at him. Sharon didn't know if she was still just emotionally raw from the issue with Jack, or if something had changed between them. There had been a shift; she just couldn't quite get her head around it. " _Andy_."

He let go of her leg and stood up. His hands moved into her sodden hair. It was everywhere, thick and dripping water all around. Andy tipped her head back and covered her mouth. His tongue moved across her lips, danced against the roof of her mouth, and teased her tongue back into his mouth. He turned her in his arms and drew her back, his hands cupped her breasts, teased her nipples, while his mouth moved down her neck.

Between them, he was hard. He nudged her thighs apart and thrust against the curve of her bottom, rubbing himself against her while he teased the heavy weight of her breasts. When she looped an arm behind his head and lifted her face to find his mouth again, he slipped a hand down her belly. Her hips bucked when his fingers moved between her folds. He sucked her bottom lip into his mouth and curled two fingers inside her while the heel of his hand pressed against her clit.

Her head rolled against his shoulder when his fingers began to move. Her eyes closed and she reached back, slid her hand between them to wrap her fingers around his hard length. She gasped when Andy slapped her hand away. He placed a hand against her stomach and drew her tight to him; his teeth scraped her shoulder while his fingers thrust deeper. She cried out as heat built within her, coiling almost painfully. When he withdrew, she thought her knees might buckle. His fingers moved to her clit, and he circled it quickly, until she was bucking against his hand.

Her inner walls clenched. She ached to have him inside her. Sharon gripped his arms, rubbed herself against his length. "I need you," she muttered.

"What?" His teeth nipped at her ear. It wasn't what he'd originally planned, but his cock twitched at the sound of her voice. He took a half step back, curled his hand around his aching length. He slid it down the curve of her ass and between her thighs. "Say it again."

She leaned forward, a hand flat against the wall. "I need you," she said again, more loudly. Her breasts ached; she palmed one of them herself and twisted the nipple. " _Andy_."

"Like this?" He pressed the head of his cock inside her, and then retreated. "Is that what you want?" His fingers continued to circle her clit, teasing her. Her thighs were beginning to twitch and shake. She was close.

"Yes," she hissed. He did it again, barely filled her and then withdrew. "Yes!"

The sound of her voice echoed off the walls of the shower. Andy reached past her. He used the wall as a brace and after guiding himself to her entrance again, he pushed into her. He bent her slightly forward and filled her to the hilt. He turned his face into her neck. "Christ Sharon," he told her, voice thick, rasping with need and emotion. It was the last thing he said as he began to move. His thrusts were deep and quick.

She came with him buried inside her, pulsing and hard. He continued to thrust, grunting quietly, fingers biting into the skin of her hip as he got close. When he pulled out, she wrapped a hand around him. She stroked him until she felt the heat of his release coating her hand. His arms wrapped around her. He drew her against his chest and turned his face into her neck. They were both breathing hard. The water had started to cool, but neither of them cared. "You matter," he whispered.

She didn't know why that would bring tears to her eyes, but it did. Sharon turned in his embrace. Her arms wrapped around him. "So do you," she murmured.

They stood like that for only another minute. They rinsed off before the water got too cool and left the shower. While Sharon checked on Emily, Andy wrapped a towel around his waist and walked in to the bedroom. He was still putting clean sheets on the bed when she returned. He finished that task while she towel dried her hair.

Neither of them felt like bothering with clothes. They lay down together without them. Sharon still couldn't put her finger on what had changed between them, but as she lay there, one of her legs draped over his, the weather too hot for them to do much more than lay beside each other, she decided that the _what_ didn't exactly matter. Something definitely felt different, but it didn't feel bad, whatever it was. She decided not to examine it too closely. She would just enjoy it, however long it lasted.

 **MCMCMCMCMCMC**

The heat wave continued, and with it, tempers in the city were on the rise. The nights weren't much better and that made for some interesting moments on the job. The heat seemed to be bringing all the idiots out of hiding. Andy didn't know why crime waves tended to be on the rise with the heat, he would leave that up to all the shrinks in the Department. What he did know was that it was a pain in his ass.

Andy sighed as he pulled his squad car into the parking lot of a grocery store in West Hollywood. He got out of the car and shut the door a little harder than he probably needed to. His arms spread wide from his body as he walked toward the other patrol cars that were present. "Drunk and disorderly at a grocery store? Who the hell does that?"

"The jackass was hot," Sergeant Anderson shrugged. "I guess he wanted to cool off in the freezer section." He was leaning against his car, filling out the particulars on a clipboard. "He tripped trying to stick his head into the milk cooler, took out a few cartons and made a hell of a mess." The older officer shook his head. "Davis and Michaels took him over to holding in Hollywood. In this heat, the idiot is going to smell like sour cereal by morning."

"See, this…" Andy turned to his patrol partner and waved a hand at the three cars with flashing lights that were still present. "This is why you take the detective's exam as soon as you can. So you can avoid a lot of this crap."

Tao chuckled. "Who pulled the silent alarm?" That was the reason behind the presence of so many units. "If he was just stumbling around drunk, why not just call central and ask for a car to come down?"

"Good question." Andy turned back to the others. "Where's the idiot that got me out of an air conditioned café? I wanna have a word."

"Oh look," Sharon drawled as she approached, "officer bad mood is here. Now the fun can really begin." She stopped a few steps away and put her hands on her hips. "Why are you yelling at everyone? This isn't your crime scene."

Damn, she was sexy in that uniform. Andy tilted his head at her. He mimicked her pose, hands on his hips. "Are you trying to tell me that you're in charge here, Officer Raydor? I thought Sergeant Anderson was the incident commander."

"As a matter of fact," She fired back at him, "that is exactly what I am telling you, Officer Flynn." The corners of her mouth twitched. "Now, would you care to calm down or should I ask someone to get a hose and cool you off?"

"Would you?" He perked right up at that idea. "This heat is terrible. I could use a good… hosing down."

It might have been innocent, except for the way his eyes swept over her when he said it. Sharon made a face at him. "Be careful what you ask for," she warned, "you may not like it." She walked over and leaned against the side of the patrol car beside her partner. "The drunk fell, and the kid working the register saw his pager. He mistook it for a gun and panicked. He hit the silent alarm and here you are, gracing us with your rosy personality."

Anderson rolled his eyes at the pair of them. "You two wanna go flirt somewhere else? I'm working here." He didn't care what Raydor and her boyfriend got up to on their own time, but they were both on his at the moment. It wasn't the first time that officers in the department had dated, and he figured it wouldn't be the last. They weren't working together, so that was a plus. Frankly, he didn't care. It was none of his business, except when they brought it _in_ to his business.

Tao bowed his head. He covered his mouth and coughed to disguise his laugh. He cleared his throat when they both looked at him. "So, your partner lets you run the scene? How does that work?"

"Learning opportunity." Anderson said. "I like to make sure the people riding with me know what the hell they're doing."

"Huh." Tao's head inclined. "I'm lucky if this one lets me drive, he said, and hooked a thumb in Flynn's direction. "Want to trade?"

Andy started to open his mouth and stopped. He looked at the younger man and scowled. "Hey." He pointed a finger at him. "I let you drive. The problem is, you drive like a maniac. You go through an intersection and my life flashes before my eyes. I've got a kid, I can't afford to die young."

"You complain too much." Anderson shook his head. "Let the rookie drive. Just remember, if he wrecks the car, it's his ass, not yours." He pushed away from the side of his car. "If he kills you in the process, well, you're not going to care."

"Yeah, easy for you to say," Andy muttered. He turned to Sharon, but pointed at her partner. "And you like riding with this guy?"

"Yeah, actually," She smirked at him. "I do. You got a problem with that, Flynn?" The heat had him in quite a mood lately. If he wasn't pawing at her, he was surly and unreasonable. Sharon found it all amusing, for the most part. She was beginning to wonder, though, if some of his mood had anything to do with the fact that she was about to leave for a week. It was awfully early for them to be having separation anxiety, but part of it might have also been the fact that he was supposed to see Sandra and Charlie while she was gone. So far, he had only seen his son for short visits, but Sandra had agreed to let him have Charlie alone for a couple of hours on Saturday. It was only long enough for the two of them to get something to eat and go to the park, but it was a huge step. Sharon thought Andy might be nervous. She wished she could be in town for it, but the timing hadn't worked out.

There was an almost challenging look in her eyes. Andy shrugged. "Nah, no problem." He knew when he was close to the line. He backed away from it quickly. "Looks like everything is under control here. I'm going back to my air conditioned patrol of our lovely city." It was too bad their dinner break had been cut short, because sitting in the air-conditioned café was even better. He reached for the handset that was attached to his shoulder and spoke into it. "Central, this is 5212. We're going to be 10-8 from this location."

The radio crackled with the response. "Copy that 5212. 10-8 from Fuller and Sunset."

Andy pointed at Tao, "You can drive." He rounded the hood of the car and headed toward the passenger side. "Just for the record, I've ridden with her," he muttered, "and she's not much better at it than you are."

Sharon fought the urge to laugh. "I heard that," she yelled.

"I meant you to." He flashed a grin at her as he got back in the car. "See you around, Raydor."

As they drove off, Anderson shook his head. "When is he going to shave that mess off his face?"

She snorted a laugh. "Your guess is as good as mine." It had started to grow on her, actually. "I think we may be stuck with it until something forces his hand."

"God almighty." Anderson slapped his clipboard against his lap. "I'm just glad I don't have to look at it all the time. Everything taken care of back there?" He jerked his head toward the store.

"We're good. We've got all the witness statements and the tape from the security camera is headed down to booking with our drunk. He'll be out by morning, but at least he'll be sober."

"Well, that's one more off the street, I guess." Anderson walked around the car. "Alright, let's get out of here. It's too damn hot to stand around in parking lots all night."

The sound of gunshots and breaking glass erupted around them before either of them could get back in the car. They both dove for the pavement. Screams rang out from the parking lot as others went for cover. In the distance, tires peeled, and the car from which the gunshots had come from, sped away into traffic.

Andy and Mike had only gone a few blocks when the radio in their car blared to life. There was a cacophony of sound as multiple calls came across it at once. The minute they heard the designation for shots fired, Andy reached for the handset and tuned the radio so it would pick up a single channel. "Central, this is 5212, we're hearing shots fired, can you confirm?"

"Confirmed 5212. Shots fired at your last location. Report indicates drive by. Units on scene report a dark Lincoln sedan headed east on Hawthorn."

Mike looked over at him. He made a U-turn that would take them back toward the grocery store. "Follow the car or go back?"

Andy hesitated. His grip on the handset tightened. He turned the choice over in his head. His first instinct was to go back, and his instincts were usually pretty good, but this time he hesitated. "Central," his voice rasped into the radio, "do we have any officers down at that location?"

"Affirmative 5212. Report two officers down, buses are en route."

He opened his mouth to respond, and then he heard it. They were still picking up some of the traffic from the grocery store on their body units. His eyes closed at the sound of Sharon's voice, thick and pained, but unmistakable through the static across the line. " _Central be advised we have civilians and police injured at this location. Where the hell is that ambulance?_ "

Andy reached down and turned off his shoulder unit. "Follow the car," he told him. "Central this is 5212 we are proceeding east on Hawthorn in pursuit of a dark Lincoln sedan. Suspect in shooting at Fuller and Sunset, copy?"

"Copy that 5212. We have two other units responding from south of your location. ETA five minutes."

He put the handset back on its hook and flipped the switch for the car's siren and lights before he leaned back. "Be careful," he told Tao, "this is all residential. The street lights are for shit, we don't need to mow down any pedestrians."

"Copy that." His jaw clenched as they sped through an intersection, swerving around cars. "Hawthorn dead ends, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." Andy leaned forward, checking street sights. "Hook a right up here, grab Vista and head north. They're going to try to blend in on Hollywood. We'll cut them off there." He held tightly to the console in front of him as they bounced across potholes. "Shit, where did you learn how to drive?"

Tao smirked. "San Francisco."

"Figures." He shook his head as they made the turn onto Hollywood. "Of all the damn nights…" He really wished that he was still driving.

Ahead of them, a car matching the description of the one from the shooting turned onto the road with traffic. "Do we have a color on that car?" Tao asked. The Lincoln ahead of them was a dark brown.

Andy's brows climbed as the car in front of them sped up and began weaving through traffic. "You know something, I think we do now. I'd call that suspect behavior."

Tao watched something fly out of the side of the car. "I'd call that probable cause." He shook his head. "Idiots."

"I might be a bad influence on you." Andy reached for the radio again. "Central we have a visual on that Lincoln. We are in pursuit, traveling west on Hollywood-no, correction," he said when the car made a left turn. "Make that south on…" He looked at Tao. "What the hell street is this?"

"Courtney," he reported and winced when the Lincoln clipped a car that was parked on the street. "That's gotta suck."

"We're headed south on Courtney. We can pen it in on Sunset if you can get units there in time."

"Copy 5212. All units, be advised that suspect vehicle is headed south on Courtney Avenue in the vicinity of Sunset drive. You are advised to proceed to that location."

They made the turn on Sunset, tires squealing, and continued pursuing the other car. It took a few more blocks before they were able to end the chase. Another patrol car pulled into the intersection and the Lincoln swerved to avoid it, breaking as it went around another corner. The driver over compensated and the car struck a light pole.

When the occupants sprang from the vehicle and began running, Andy swore. "Who the hell runs in this heat? Goddammit!" The car came to a hard stop and he pushed out of it, cursing the heat and the suspects as he began running. Why the hell, he wondered, did they always have to pick alleys? Didn't the idiots in the city realize that there were dumpsters in the alley and the heat made them stink more?

Andy caught up with his idiot at the end of the alley. It was a dead end, and if the bozo had thought ahead, he might have realized that. Actually, if the scumbag had thought ahead, he wouldn't have needed to chase him in the first place. "What are you, sixteen?" He shook his head as he hauled the kid, already cuffed, back down the alley. "Aren't you old enough to know how dumb it is to ride around shooting at people? Then, if that's not bad enough, I had to get out of my nice, cool car and chase you down."

The kid sneered at him. "Like you needed another donut, asshole."

"Hey!" Andy shook him. "Don't be rude. You're in enough trouble. You and your pals shot a couple of cops tonight. You're lucky all I did was chase you. You better pray every one back at that store makes it. It doesn't matter who shot off the gun; it's Capital. You'll go down as an adult, moron."

"They don't give juveniles the death penalty in this state," he replied.

"Oh, so you're a wise guy, huh? Guess what, that's pre-meditated. Keep talking asshole. Or did you already forget? Everything you're saying is on the record. It's all gonna be used against you." He had told the kid his rights when he put the cuffs on him. When the idiot didn't say anymore, Andy smirked. "That's what I thought." He walked him back to the end of the alley and noted that two other squad cars had arrived. Andy put him in the back of the nearest vehicle to secure him. "What have we got?"

"We only saw two leave the car. The third, the driver, hit his head when they crashed. He's unconscious. Ambulance is on the way. They're still chasing the other guy down," the officer reported.

Andy stood for a moment, hands on his hips, and worked on catching his breath. He felt like he was drowning in the humidity. "Any word on the store?"

"Nothing since the initial call," he reported.

"Damn." Andy looked around. They had a busted car and an unconscious suspect. That was going to be a nightmare's worth of paperwork. He could hear sirens in the distance, either more backup or the ambulance, it was hard to say. "Alright, keep an eye on this guy." He walked over to where his squad car had been left and took out a clipboard so he could begin his incident report. While he was at it, he reported in that they had one of the suspects in custody.

It was another half an hour before Tao returned with the second suspect and two other officers. Andy was leaning against the hood of the car. By now, his suspect had been transferred over and he was just waiting. He lifted his arms from his body. "What took so long?"

"He decided to climb a fence." Tao walked the suspect, another teenager from the looks of it, to a separate squad car and secured him in the back. "I guess he didn't realize that it's too hot for climbing," he quipped.

"I'm surrounded by comedians tonight." Andy pushed off the car. "Let's get this wrapped up and get out of here. I wanna get over to St. Vincent's. The cops that were shot were taken over there."

Tao had a feeling that he knew exactly _who_ he was wanting to check on and nodded. "Just gotta do some paperwork. Then we can run these guys down to holding."

"Just hurry it up," Andy told him, "oh, and this time, I'm driving."

It took another almost two hours to clear the scene and get their suspects booked into holding. There was already a crowd of cops mingling in the lobby of the hospital by the time they arrived. Andy moved through the crowd, looking for a familiar dark head. He finally spotted her, by herself, leaning against a wall. Her uniform top was gone, leaving only a white tank, and her arms were wrapped around her body, but she looked like she was still in one piece. He felt relief flood him. Andy moved quickly across the lobby. "Hey."

Sharon looked up at the sound of his voice. She had red-rimmed eyes and a pale face. "Andy." She pushed away from the wall when he reached her.

"Anderson?" When she shook her head, he swore. He looked around quickly, and spying a corner, he pulled her around it. The second they were out of sight of the others, he pulled her into his arms. "Shit, I'm sorry."

"So am I." She held on just as tightly. Sharon turned her face into his neck. He smelled of sweat and cologne. "He died in surgery. His wife is upstairs; their kids are just teenagers, they were out with friends. The Captain sent someone to pick them up."

"Christ, that's rough." Andy drew back. His hands continued to grip her arms. "I didn't know he had kids."

"Two." She said quietly. "A boy and a girl." She drew her bottom lip between her teeth when tears threatened again. "It was a neck wound, he never stood a chance."

Andy cupped her cheek. His thumb traced her swollen bottom lip. "Are you okay?" He looked over her, and finally found a bandage across the back of her shoulder. "Shit."

"It's fine." Sharon shook her head. "It's just a graze, probably from a ricochet. It didn't even need stitches. I'm okay, Andy. I was lucky. Others weren't."

His jaw clenched. It bothered the hell out of him that she had been hurt, but that was the job. "Who else?" He asked, voice thick.

"Jacobs is still in surgery. He's the one we're waiting on. Stomach wound, looks like his liver. His partner got hit in the arm. Flesh wound, entry and exit. There were two bystanders hit, one dead at the scene. Another, a little boy, is also in surgery. He looked like he was about eight. He and his dad were on their way home from a ballgame. They stopped to get popsicles because of the heat."

"Don't do that." He pulled her into his arms again. His hand cupped the back of her head. "Don't dwell," he told her. "If you do, it'll eat you alive." They had to feel it, but they couldn't wallow in it. The kids were always the hardest, for all of them.

A throat was cleared nearby and they pulled apart. Tao gave them both a small, sympathetic look. "Jacobs is still in surgery, but they sent an update down. It looks like he's going to make it. Also, the kid is doing okay. I thought you'd want to know."

"Thanks Mike." Andy looked at Sharon again. His hands stroked up and down her arms. "Want me to take you home?"

"No." She smiled at the offer. "You have a few hours of shift left, and I think I would like to stay here for a little while. I can get a ride." She reached up and laid her hand against his chest for just a moment. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"Sure?" When she nodded, he sighed. "Okay. We can spare a little while to wait with you." He figured that most of the cops on their shift would be in and out of the hospital over the next few hours.

That night hit her harder than he originally suspected. It was always hard to lose a partner, and he knew that she would feel it for a while, but he struggled for a way to help her. Sharon took the next few days off work. She had the sick days, but he knew that she had been saving them in case of an emergency. She didn't want to talk about what happened, but she let him hold her. For the next few nights, she did something that he had never known her to do before; she brought Emily into her bed and slept with her little girl cuddled against her chest.

At the end of the week, when they left for Chicago, he drove them to the airport. She kissed him goodbye at her gate and there was a sense of desperation to it. Her eyes were wet when she turned away.

He started to take a step forward, but stopped himself. He watched her go with a pain in his chest. From over her shoulder, Emily waved at him. His jaw clenched. He lifted a hand in response; his smile was tight, and he hoped the little girl wouldn't know the difference. Andy hadn't thought about it before, but as they walked away, he was left wondering if they would be back.

 **-TBC-**


	10. Chapter 10

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

 **A/N:** Dearest Guest Reviewers who have commented that you are "the nice ones" - you are all appreciated. My applause to you. Thank you very much for all your support.

For the guest reviewer who stated they didn't see this story on the main MC FFN page: it's probably your ratings filter. This one is an M. :) (I know, I was naughty. **kate04 & narcissanerea** made me do it, lol!)

I will probably be posting every other day for a little while. RL got super busy, and I don't want to run out of banked chapters before I get past that frenzy. Thank you all again, so, so much! :)

* * *

 **Chapter 10**

The bed dipped beside him, but Andy didn't move until he felt lips touching his neck. He startled awake, and realized almost instantly that there was a woman straddling his back. "What?"

"Shhh." Sharon's hands slipped up his back. "You'll wake Emily," she said quietly. She kissed his neck again before she lowered herself onto the bed beside him. She lay on her side, facing him. "Hi."

"Hey." Andy moved onto his side and lifted his head. He propped it in his hand and studied her in the low lighting from the window. "What time is it?"

"A little after midnight. I took a late flight, and then our connection in Salt Lake got delayed because of a storm." She touched his cheek and smiled. "You shaved."

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I had to go to court on a case. I figured the cop shouldn't look like as much of a bum as the idiot on trial." Andy frowned at her. His mind was slowly clearing, and as the fog lifted, he realized that she was home early. He wasn't expecting her for another two days. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't flying back until Wednesday afternoon?" Andy had booked the afternoon off so that he could pick her up, despite her insistence that she could catch a cab from the airport.

"I wasn't." Sharon rolled on to her back with a sigh. "I decided to take an earlier flight. My trip wasn't as relaxing as I hoped it would be." She stared at the ceiling above them while her hands rested against her stomach. "Being back in Chicago was wonderful, and I don't want to sound ungrateful, I love my family. I'm thankful for so much, but going back with the way that things are now…"

"It's different now," Andy said when she trailed off. "They look at you like you're damaged, or like they have to fix you." He had gone home, just for a weekend, after he got out of rehab. His mother had demanded it. She wanted to see with her own eyes that he was okay. It was the most uncomfortable trip of his life. "They want to help because they love you, but they don't understand that you have to do it yourself."

"Yes." Sharon's head rolled against the pillow. She looked up at him and a small smile played across her lips. "That's it exactly." She extended her arm toward him and stroked his chest with the backs of her fingers. "I knew that you would understand."

"Yeah." He gave a sad smile and a shrug. "Been there." Andy looked around the room. "Where's Emily?" He realized that she had mentioned the kid, but it was awfully late, and he didn't want her to have to move the baby again.

"I put her down in Charlie's room," she said. "I hope that's okay?"

Andy's head lifted in concern. "Think she'll do okay on the twin bed?"

"She's fine." Sharon laid a hand against his chest. She smiled at the way he worried. "She did okay with one in Chicago. I'm going to take her crib down this week and replace it. It's time. She isn't really a baby anymore."

"Yes she is," he grumbled. When she laughed at him, Andy huffed. "Shut up." He laid his head back on his pillow. "I see how it is. You run off, and when you come back, you laugh at me. I'm going back to sleep. Wake me when you're done."

"I'm sorry." She slipped an arm around his waist and pressed her body against the length of his. "Please forgive me."

Andy cracked a single eye open and looked at her. "I'll think about it." She wriggled against him and the corners of his mouth twitched toward a grin. He gathered her close and tucked her against his chest. "What happened in Chicago?" He asked quietly.

Sharon settled against him. She was still surprised at how easy it was to be with him, how comfortable she felt in his arms. Her lips touched his chest, and then she tipped her head back and kissed his chin before she tucked her arms between their bodies and sighed. He was so very warm, and she was tired, but he deserved to hear how her trip had gone. "My mom kept giving me tea, and my father…" She grew silent for a moment and considered her words carefully. She didn't want to give him the wrong idea. Her parents were very good people. "I love them so much. My mother saw my shoulder. I had to explain how it happened. I've never lied to them, but I think I probably should have this time. When I woke up the next morning, they had so many plans for how they were going to save me from my life. My dad spoke to a friend of his at the University of Chicago, all I would have to do is complete the application and he would walk my admission to the law school through. They knew I wouldn't want to live with them, so they found me a small house, with a yard where Emily could play. They offered to pay for everything, housing, childcare, and my education. I would just have to quit my job and move home."

That she had come home early, and was lying in his bed, told him what he needed to know. Sharon was incredibly independent. He couldn't imagine that it went over very well. That it came from her parents would have been even harder. They were, from birth, hardwired to do as they were instructed. It didn't matter how hard they fell, or how far, their parents just wanted to take care of them. Resisting was the truly difficult part. It would be easy to give in, to let their parents take care of them. The only way out of the dark, in his experience, was to do it himself. Andy reached out and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. His fingers traced the curve of her cheek. "That sounds like a pretty good deal. A lot of people wouldn't turn it down. What did you say?"

"I was tempted. So very, incredibly tempted. I kept thinking about what happened at the grocery store. I thought about Sergeant Anderson, and his wife. I couldn't get the look on his daughter's face out of my head." It was going to stay with her, just as he told her it would, and Sharon was trying very hard not to dwell on it, but there were a few truths that she just couldn't escape. "That could have been me, Andy. If I hadn't been driving, if I had been standing anywhere else, it might have been me that died that night. Emily would have been left alone. Yes, my parents would have come for her, and they adore her, but she wouldn't have had a single parent that loves her. Jack doesn't care, obviously." She looked up at him, bottom lip trembling. "And while I know that you care about her, you are not her father." She lifted her shoulders in a delicate shrug. "The job is dangerous, I've had to accept that before, I've come close before too, but not since having Emily."

"That's a pretty damned good reason to accept their offer," he pointed out. "I'd agree that Emily is worth at least thinking about it." When she looked down, he tipped her face back up. "And you know, if anything did happen to you, god forbid, I'd make sure she was taken care of. Even if that just meant making sure she made it to your folks. You _do_ know that, right?"

Her hand curled around his wrist. Sharon smiled gently at him. "I know." He was incredibly fond of her little girl. "I have a feeling that you only want me for my daughter," she drawled, voice thick with emotion, despite her teasing.

"Probably." Andy rolled her onto her back and settled over her. His hands swept her hair back and he cradled her face in his hands. "You're pretty damn smart, hot too. So I don't have to tell you that I'm probably only half in love with you, but that little girl's already got my whole heart."

"She has that effect on people." Sharon ran her hands up his back. When he kissed her, she hummed. It was quick, and when he lifted his head, Sharon followed. She nipped at his bottom lip and lay back with a sigh. "I told them no. My mother cried. Dad was upset. Then he told me that he knows where Jack is. He's always known. He was waiting for me to ask for help. He knew he couldn't get involved until I asked. Jack is in Las Vegas. Card games and show girls are, apparently, more interesting than his wife and kid."

"Wait a minute." Andy sat up on his knees. "You're telling me that bastard took every dime that you had, and almost put you and Em on the street, so that he could go play cards in Vegas? Son of a bitch!" He stepped off the bed so that he could pace around the room.

"Andy." She hissed at the way he was stomping about, grumbling and cursing. "Calm down. You'll wake Emily, not to mention your neighbors. I can't imagine that the Clarkes appreciate you stomping all over their heads." She sat up in the bed and leaned back against his headboard.

"Don't tell me to calm down," He scowled at her. "That moron ran off with—"

"Yes." Sharon gave him a small, patient smile. "I know. I was there." She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. "I appreciate that you are upset on my behalf, Andrew, but it's been handled. If you would like to sit down, I will tell you how."

He grumbled as he walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. He turned so that he was facing her. "Okay, so how are you handling it?"

"Simple." She shrugged. "I'm getting divorced. My father is taking care of it," she explained. "There are some advantages to having a judge in the family." Sharon didn't mean to sound flippant about it, but it wasn't an easy decision to make. "We decided that he's done enough. No one in my family has ever divorced before, but my parents don't want him to be able to hurt us again, financially or otherwise. I think I've always known that it was going to have to happen, I just didn't know how to do it." She hadn't wanted to admit failure either. The idea of divorcing her husband was a complete contradiction of her very Catholic upbringing. That was something else that being home had reminded her of, just how long it had been since she had gone to mass or sat confession. Sharon hadn't been to church since Jack left. She felt ashamed, somehow, that she wasn't able to hold her marriage together. That shame was only compounded now by the fact that she was divorcing him.

"I forgot about that," Andy said of her dad. They didn't really talk about their families, except in passing, so he hadn't remembered until she mentioned it again that her dad was on the bench. "Shit." Andy scrubbed a hand over his face. "Well, that explains how he got you into law school with a snap of his fingers." When her brows rose, he held up both hands. "Not that I don't think you could have done it, or deserve to be there. I was just…" Her eyes narrowed and he scooted back a couple of inches. "I was shutting up."

"Hm." Sharon's gaze dropped. She studied the tops of her legs for a moment. She drew a breath and let it out slowly before continuing. "My parents didn't understand why I was turning down their very generous offer. I wasn't entirely sure either. At least, I wasn't at first. My life may not be convenient or simple, but it isn't bad. It doesn't need to be fixed or handled. I like my job. Maybe I'll go to law school some day. I don't know. I may choose to do something else entirely, or I could stay with the department. I honestly haven't been thinking that far ahead. I came home early because we couldn't agree on what was best for me, and I didn't want to be angry with them for loving me." Sharon's head inclined. She met his gaze again. "Since Jack left, I've been in survival mode, and honestly, nothing came of the plans that he and I made, so I stopped making plans. I need to correct that. I should be making plans, just not the kind that my parents had in mind."

"Maybe you should." Andy moved closer to her again. He drew her legs over his lap and slipped his hand along her calf to her knee. "What kind of plans were you thinkin' about?" His mouth twisted into a half grin. "You wouldn't bring it up unless you had something in mind. I can see those wheels turning in your head. I want to know."

She leaned forward. Sharon laid a hand against his back and let it stroke slowly downward. Her other hand covered his against her leg. "I wouldn't say that I'm planning anything, not exactly. I thought about you while I was gone, probably more than I should have. There are a lot of things that I don't know, Andy. What I do know is that I'm feeling things for you that I shouldn't, not while I'm still married. I've gotten attached to you, and so has Emily. We both missed you while I was gone." A bright smile lit her face. Sharon laughed. "She called every man that she saw with a beard _Andy_ , and I had to explain to my parents why that was so amusing." She rolled her eyes at him, but the sound of his quiet laughter made it easier to keep going, to tell him everything that she had been thinking about while she was in Chicago, and during the long flight home. "I told them that we've been seeing each other, and it wasn't until I said the words out loud that I realized just how important you are to me, and how much I missed you."

"Yeah," he said quietly, voice low and rasping. "Me too." She was only gone for a few days, but it felt like a week. Part of him worried that she wouldn't come back, and he knew that if he were in her parents' shoes, he'd have made her the same offer. He would want to take care of her. Hell, he wanted to take care of her now, but she could take care of herself. "It was a long few days," he told her. "I think the guys at work were starting to get pretty sick of me. I haven't been all that easy to get along with."

"I forgot to pack Emily's monkey," she admitted. "I meant to take it with us. I think I probably left it on the sofa in my apartment." Sharon studied his hand, or what she could see of it in the dimly lit room. She toyed with his fingers. "She cried it for it while we were gone. Then she cried for you. I felt terrible for allowing her to get that close to you, and then I felt worse because I knew that I wanted you too." She looked up at him. Her eyes were bright, and just a little damp. "Andy, I think I could love you. I'm not saying that I do. Not yet, but if that happens, I want to be free to feel it. So when my father offered to help with the divorce, despite how awkward everything was between us after I turned down their offer, I agreed to let him."

"Come here." Andy crawled up to sit beside her. He leaned against the headboard and drew her over to sit between his legs. His arms wrapped around her. "I missed you too," he told her again. He turned his face into her hair and inhaled. "Shit, I could smell you everywhere. On my pillow, in my sheets. On my damned sofa. It was driving me crazy. I want you," he said, voice rumbling against her ear. "In my bed, in my life, making me crazy. I said that you matter, and I meant it. You don't want me to take care of you, and I get it. You had to take care of yourself, and it's good that you can, but I could do it. I could love you too, if you let me."

Sharon turned. She knelt on her knees in front of him. Her hands cupped his face and she drew him toward her. "I think I want that," she whispered. Emotion ached in her throat. This was a man that wanted her, and she was ready to stop running from him.

"Yeah?" His arms wrapped around her waist. He laid her back and covered her with his body. "Are you sure? Be sure, Sharon. When I said I wasn't going anywhere, I meant it, but if you wanna go all in, be damned sure. There's no taking that back."

With her skirt bunched up around her hips, she lifted a leg and curled it around his thigh. "I'm sure." At least, she believed she was. As long as she was still married, she was shielding herself from him; her marriage had provided a safety net, one that was now being removed. She could sleep with him, let him share her bed and have her body, but as long as Jack had been at the back of her mind, she had known that her body was all that she would give him. Sharon had realized, while she was in Chicago, what had changed for them before she left. Her heart had gotten involved for the first time. Before that, it was just sex, heat and lust, and the way her body felt when he was touching her. She wanted more than that, she needed more than that, and she deserved to have it. "I want you, Andy," she said thickly, "all of you."

His nose touched her cheek, nuzzled playfully as his lips eased hers with light touches. "Yeah?" When she nodded, he pushed a hand in to her hair. "You got me," he mumbled against her mouth.

"Good." She gasped, and then laughed, when he rolled and pulled her atop him. She straddled his hips and sat up. Her eyes glittered down at him as she worked open the top few buttons of her blouse. Then she pulled it over her head. When she leaned over him, her hair fell over her shoulder. She placed her hands against the mattress on each side of his head. She hummed when his hands slid up thighs and moved beneath her skirt. "I missed you," she repeated, voice low and husking quietly.

"Me too," he rumbled. He lifted his mouth toward hers, but she moved out of each. Andy's eyes narrowed. His hands cupped her bottom and he drew her up his body, until she was seated against him. "What do you want?"

Her lips curved into a slow, teasing smile. "Prove it."

He pulled her down and rolled them, so that he was covering her again. "Try not to wake the kid," he grumbled, and covered her laughing mouth with his.

They were a lot more playful than they had been in the past, but there was no less heat. If anything, they felt more consumed by it. They were freer, and more at ease with one another, now that intentions and feelings were out in the open. Laughter and lust came together as they redefined who they were as a couple.

Later, Sharon left his bed to slip into one of his t-shirts before going to check on Emily. She reminded him when she returned that the toddler was no longer as contained as she would be in her crib. They had both gotten used to wearing very little when they were in bed together, but that was something else that was going to have to change. Emily proved that point when she came searching for her mother, an hour before sunrise.

She had woken in a new place, in the dark, and all alone. It was Andy that leaned over her mother and pulled the little girl into the bed with them. He wasn't accustomed to sleeping in a t-shirt _and_ boxers, but he was glad that Sharon had urged him to do it as he tucked Emily between them. "Hey monkey girl. What's all that noise about?"

It was his voice that she recognized in the dark. Emily laid her hands against his cheeks, and although she gasped at finding them bare, she laughed at being reunited with a familiar friend. "Andy."

"Shh," he crooned, "mom's sleeping." He knew that wasn't the case. He could tell, in the change in her breathing, that she had woken Sharon up too."

"Sleepin," Emily repeated. She snuggled in to him with a sigh and closed her eyes. "Emmy sleeping too."

Sharon rolled to face them. Part of her still wondered if she was making the right decision, but the only way she would know was to try. If the recent loss of her partner taught her anything, it was that a life was far too short, and a life placed on hold, was no life at all. Right or wrong she was moving forward, and she really hoped she wouldn't have to do it alone.

 **-TBC-**


	11. Chapter 11

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 11**

 _ **2017**_

"Were we arrogant or naive?" Sharon turned her gaze toward the sky. The sun had shifted; it was no longer directly above their heads. The afternoon was growing later, edging toward early evening. Night would be upon them in a couple of hours, and that would provide even greater difficulties for the rescue personnel that were digging through the rubble of the collapsed building.

"Probably both." Andy shifted where he sat. He had long since grown numb to the floor beneath him. He gritted his teeth as pain moved down his leg and across his chest at the movement. For a moment, it was hard to breathe. He could feel the weight of his injuries. He tipped his head back against the hard surface behind him. His mouth was dry, and his throat burned from the grit and dust. He had been trapped there for a few hours now, and it didn't seem like they were any closer to getting him out. His mind drifted and he pulled his thoughts away from the pain, away from the end that he knew was approaching. "We thought we had it all," he told her, "nothing seemed impossible back then."

His biggest mistakes led him down a road that took him to her, a place she only existed in because she had been hurt so badly. He wondered how they found anything good in that situation, but when he thought of them, and how they were then, he would say that she saved him. Andy had to consider, though, if he had only made things worse for her.

They were happy for a while. By the time he and Sandra had gone back to court that October, Charlie was already spending a weekend with him each month. Sharon had been right; that they had managed to work together for Charlie's best interests had gone a long way toward resolving the custody agreement favorably. He and Sandra walked away with shared custody. His son would spend the majority of his time with his mother, but Andy had him two weekends a month and on alternating holidays. They kept to that schedule for a long time, but by the following spring, he and Sandra had come to realize that Charlie was much happier, and so were they, when they could just work together.

Life wasn't without obstacles, however. Sharon's divorce had taken months to resolve. Filing had only managed to bring Jack back into her life. The thought of losing _his_ safety net did not sit well with the other man. He turned up, much like the dirty penny he was, and contested the whole thing. He had even tried to use her relationship with Andy to his advantage.

Andy laughed, the sound brittle and rough, and echoing off the walls around him. "Remember when Jack tried to use Sandra as a character witness?"

"Oh god." Sharon's eyes closed. She hadn't thought of that in a long time. "You really are thinking about ancient history," she told him. Those had been hard months for her. She only wanted to be free of a marriage that had, aside from giving her a beautiful child, caused her nothing but heartache. Jack wasn't willing to let them go. Or rather, his ability to use her as a connection to her father and her family's moderate wealth was what Jack was unwilling to lose. He wanted her father to offer him a payout, money in exchange for a divorce. Joseph O'Dwyer had almost done it, just to be rid of him, but Sharon wouldn't allow it. Jack was not going to win in that situation.

She fought back instead, and she wasn't, to Jack's everlasting chagrin, alone. For months all she had to show for their court battle was a legal separation and the meager child support that Jack was ordered to pay her, not that she ever saw very much of it. In return, he was given court-ordered visitation. The man who had hardly even looked at his daughter in the months after she was born was granted access to take her with him. Jack had gone so far as attempting to argue that Sharon's home was unfit. She worked unpredictable hours, and was living with a man she wasn't married to.

That, much to Andy's frustration, was not true. He would have liked to have her and Emily living with him, but Sharon had refused. Their relationship was still new, and his ex-wife had only just started to trust him again. Then there was her relationship with Sandra; it was tenuous, at best.

Jack had done a lot of digging to come up with her as someone that he thought he could use against them. Sharon would never forget the look on his face the day that Sandra testified at their final hearing. If Jack thought that he had gained an ally in Andy's ex-wife, he was severely mistaken. Sandra didn't know him, and she couldn't speak to his character, but she did know Andy. Whatever had happened between them, their marriage was theirs alone to succeed or fail. She hadn't appreciated having that drug up in court, again, and by a complete stranger. What Sandra was able to describe in family court was a man who was flawed, but fundamentally good. She worried about Charlie when he was away from her, but in that way that mothers always worried.

Charlie always returned to her happy and well cared for. She questioned Andy's relationship with Sharon, coming so soon after getting his life back on track, but considered that none of her business. Charlie enjoyed playing with Emily, and only had good things to say about Sharon. Did that bother her? Of course it did, but what woman wouldn't feel awkward at the introduction of someone new, and potentially important, in her young child's life?

Sandra also knew that Sharon wasn't a constant figure in Charlie's life when he was with his dad. When Andy had Charlie, he was focused on _Charlie_ , and that was something that she appreciated. Yes, she told the judge, Sharon used Andy as a caregiver when she had to work and her regular sitter was unavailable, but if Emily's father had been available as a resource that might not be necessary. Why should Sharon be punished for providing for her child when that child's father was nowhere to be found? Furthermore, what was wrong with using a friend, a fellow police officer, and another parent as a resource for helping to keep her child safe and cared for?

With every passing moment that Sandra spoke, Jack's already very small case was chipped away to almost nothing. They spent another few weeks, after that day, going back and forth on the divorce agreement and custody arrangement, but when Jack realized that there was nothing for him to gain, he had done what he did so well. He left town. In the end, Sharon was divorced and Emily was hers. It was the result she wanted, but there had been little to celebrate.

Jack was only in town long enough to confuse Emily; to rattle her belief in the security of her environment and leave the two-year-old longing for something she had never known before. The stress of the ordeal had taken its toll on all of them. Andy's frustration with Jack and his desire to protect them had driven Sharon almost to distraction. They argued several times, and in the weeks that followed Jack's eventual departure, they worked hard to stay together.

If they learned anything during those months, it was that the best thing they could do for one another was to just _be_ together. Sharon didn't need to be protected; something that Andy was already well aware of, and she had to stop pushing him away when he tried. There was no fault in allowing him to help her, and he learned to appreciate her strength all the more.

"We thought after Jack that anything else would be easy." Sharon snorted quietly. "Remember that first Easter in Silver Lake?"

"I remember juggling two kids with colds because you were working and Sandra had to drive down to San Diego to take care of her mom." Andy squinted in the dark. Sandra's parents had retired and moved to San Diego not long after he and Sharon met. Then Sandra's mother had been in a car accident a couple of years later. Her leg was broken in two places, requiring surgery. Sandra's dad had taken as much time off from work as he could, and her sister had a new baby. By that point she was teaching again, and with school out for spring break, Sandra had offered to help. She left Charlie with him that week, and only out of necessity since it was her turn to have him for the holiday. Andy and Sharon were both working a lot of overtime then, and trying to juggle both kids at the same time. One of them had gotten sick, and for the life him he couldn't remember which one had gotten it first, but they had both ended up with runny noses and terrible coughs.

"I remember things a little differently," Sharon shot back. "Your mother never liked me, especially after that." Andy's parents had visited that year. They wanted to see their grandson, and since he was going to be with his father for several days, they had used that, and the holiday, as an excuse for a prolonged trip.

Andy would have rolled his eyes if they weren't so dry. "She liked you fine," he told her, just as he always did. It wasn't exactly true, but he felt no desire to rub salt in old wounds, especially now. His mother had decided that Sharon was the reason that he and Sandra never got back together. His wife had taken a lot of attitude and criticism over the years, none of it deserved, and he tried to ease things between them. They only ever managed to be civil, and Sharon was never anything but polite... his mother just had a way of pushing her buttons.

"You can believe that if you like." Sharon stepped away from the truck that she was leaning against. She looked at the ruined apartment. It was hard to believe that he was still buried inside there. "We just moved in to that little house on Redcliff..."

"You mean you finally agreed to live with me after two years of asking," Andy shot at her.

"You got me pregnant," she reminded him with a smirk. "What was I going to do? The courtyard wasn't going to be suitable for a nursery."

"Christ woman. You're always going to blame me for that, aren't you?" Andy was smiling when he spoke. It was an old argument. He would take the blame, gladly. They had gotten a pretty good kid out of it.

"Yes." Her voice hitched. Sharon's eyes closed. "He is definitely his father's son, so that was undoubtedly all your doing."

"Fine." He let go of the radio for a moment. His chest contracted. Andy coughed. The sound gurgled and rasped. "Shit," he muttered. It was getting worse. Time was running out. He pressed his eyes closed and concentrated on breathing for a few moments. When he spoke again, the words were harder to form. "I drove by there not too long ago. The old house is still there."

"Is it?" Sharon pressed her fingers against her lips when they began to tremble again. She could remember the day they moved in, almost as if it had just happened. She had his ring on her finger, his child growing in side her, and the promise of forever. She remembered letting Emily and Charlie pick out their rooms, and the weeks of unpacking that followed. When they had finally emptied the last box, they celebrated by putting Emily to bed early, and then turning the lights down in living room. They lit candles and had Chinese takeout. Then spent the evening making love and planning for a future they thought was within their grasp. "We were happy there," she told him.

"Yeah. Even that Easter..." The first time she met his mother hadn't exactly gone well. Pregnant, unmarried, and living together... all three of them strikes in his mother's eyes. She was right, that was definitely all his fault. They weren't entirely prepared for everything that year would mean for them. They tried. No one could say they hadn't held on with both hands, but sometimes, holding on wasn't enough…

 **-TBC-**


	12. Chapter 12

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 12**

 _ **March 1990**_

Andy collapsed on the sofa with a sigh. The house was finally quiet. His head fell back against the cushion, and for just a moment, he closed his eyes. The heel of a foot dug into his thigh before he could get too comfortable, though.

"Don't even think about it."

He cracked an eye open and looked beside him. Sharon was lying beside him, knees bent and resting against the back of the sofa, and an arm thrown over her face. It was on the tip of his tongue to protest. It was the first day off he'd had in the last ten and he was coming off of three days of double shifts. His brain managed to keep his mouth from getting him into trouble, although he was always surprised when that happened. Sharon was working a lot of overtime too, and while they were both exhausted, she was also four months pregnant.

They had flipped a coin to decide who would stay home with the kids. Both of them were sick. Sandra had dropped Charlie off two days before and the fevers and sore throats had started the previous evening. By that morning both of the kids had been miserable. Since there was no reason for both of them to stay home with the kids, they decided that one of them would take the kids to the clinic and the other would work.

Sharon had won, or lost, depending on the point of view. Andy was thinking she had won. It didn't matter; the less she was exposed the better, to his way of thinking. She would strangle him with one of his ties if he said that to her, so he decided it was better to keep his mouth shut in this instance. Andy couldn't help it, knowing that she was pregnant was bringing out his baser, chauvinistic tendencies. For that matter, he didn't want her working so much overtime either, but he couldn't deny the fact that they needed the money.

Things had been tight for the last few months. Getting ready for a new baby was the least of it. Finding out they were pregnant had finally given him the advantage he needed to getting Sharon to finally move in with him. The problem was that neither of their apartments was big enough for the two of them _and_ the two kids. They decided to look at something a little bigger and had ended up renting a four-bedroom house in Silver Lake, with the understanding that they would look at buying a house after the baby was born.

With a groan, Andy drew her legs across his lap and began to rub her feet. "How are you feeling?" She had only gotten home an hour before, and had been feeling sick ever since.

"Just don't make any sudden movements," she told him. Sharon had a hand draped across her stomach. If she stayed perfectly still, the room didn't move and her stomach didn't pitch alarmingly. In a few minutes she was going to have to remind him that she had done this before, and she knew what would and wouldn't work to make her feel better. For some reason, he seemed to have forgotten that Emily wasn't just some stray child that she found on the side of the road.

"Do you want to try the ginger tea again?" His hand stroked up the length of her calf, but he was careful not to jostle her. She had felt pretty good that morning, but that could change without warning.

"No." Sharon pinched the bridge of her nose. She was finding it very difficult to keep herself from being short with him. "What I would like," she mumbled, "is to come home and not have my house smelling like cabbage and Italian sausage." Bless him, though. When he realized it was the smell that was making her sick, he had gone through the first floor and opened several windows.

"I'm sorry." It wasn't the first time that he said it. Andy had a feeling it wouldn't be the last time. He was becoming very accustomed to that phrase. She didn't say anything, but she sighed. He watched her hand stroke her stomach; the light caught her ring and the stones sparkled cheerfully.

It was his grandmother's ring. His father had sent it to him, although both men had gotten an earful from his mother about it. " _You are not going to marry that girl_." He could still hear his mother's disapproval ringing in his ears. Three years later and she was still trying to get him to go back to Sandra. The only problem was, Sandra didn't want him back, and even if she had, he wasn't in love with her. It was Sharon that he wanted.

They had her parents' blessing at least. Her folks seemed to like him for some reason that he couldn't quite understand. The only rocky spot in that relationship was the fact that she was still a cop. He couldn't make her give it up, and he told her father he wouldn't try to force her hand. If it made her happy, and he knew that it did, then he would support her decision. Oddly enough, that had earned him some points with them, and with Sharon too.

He was kind of hoping that they would be married by this time next year. The idea of getting married while she was pregnant, or _because_ she was pregnant, didn't sit well with Sharon. It didn't exactly do a lot for him either, and Andy knew if he hadn't already had that ring the night she told him she was pregnant, there was no way she would've said yes. She probably would have kicked his ass all over the apartment. The truth was, he was already planning on asking her. He just hadn't found the right time. As it turned out, being able to dig a ring out of a drawer three seconds after being told that he was going to be a dad had proven successful enough.

Andy tipped his head back again and stared at the ceiling above them. He liked this house. The rooms upstairs were kind of small, but the old Spanish-style two-story was traditional Los Angeles, and it suited them just fine. A groan rumbled in his throat when he heard a door close upstairs. He didn't want to get up yet, his feet were still aching. Dancing with Emily was the only way to get her to sleep when she was sick, or otherwise upset. Charlie had gone right to bed after his bath, but Emily was cranky and wanted her mother. If he had to sing _Can't Fight This Feeling_ just one more time, he was going to lose his mind. Emily had inherited her mother's love of 80s power ballads.

"If they wake her up, I'm tossing them out," he muttered.

"You couldn't come to that conclusion _before_ they stunk up the entire house?" Sharon lowered the hand that was covering her eyes and stared at him. His parents had arrived at the beginning of the week, with little more than a day's warning that they were going to visit. Sharon tried not to begrudge Andy's time with his parents, especially since he was nothing but gracious when hers visited. The only problem was that her parents treated him with respect, and while Sharon was fond of his father, there was no denying the fact that his mother didn't care for her.

"I know." Andy closed his eyes. He would tell her that they were just trying to help, but he had already warned his mother that strong smells upset Sharon's stomach. In her defense, his mother was only making his and his father's favorite dinner. That it had affected Sharon that strongly was unfortunate. If he wasn't so tired from having two sick kids on top of it all, he might have had the energy to deal with his mother. Of course, the woman also terrified him, so it was never going to happen. He loved Sharon to the moon and back, but there were some battles he wouldn't fight for her.

"Hm." Sharon sat up. She moved carefully as she turned, and then lay back on the sofa with her head against his leg. "Rub my head and I'll forgive you," she decided.

His brow arched. He looked down at her. The corner of his mouth lifted in a crooked grin. "For which part? My mother, or getting you pregnant?"

The corners of her mouth twitched. Her eyes were closed again, but there was no denying her amusement at his response. "Your mother," she quipped.

"Uh huh. I thought so." Andy slipped a hand into her hair. His fingers were gentle against her scalp as he began to gently massage it. He slipped his other hand over and covered her stomach. It was only just beginning to curve outward. His thumb stroked the side of the small bump. When her hand covered his, he grinned. "Emily reminded me again this afternoon that she doesn't want a baby. She wants a puppy."

"Emily doesn't want anything that's going to take your attention away from her," Sharon chuckled. "It's bad enough she has to share you with Charlie." Her fingers stroked the back of his hand. "I saw a couple of books when we were at the mall last week. They're geared toward transitioning children into having younger siblings. I'll pick them up. It wouldn't hurt to get some new ideas."

Andy laughed. "I know you don't want to hear this, but when my ma was having us, she didn't use books. She just told us to suck it up."

Sharon groaned at him. Her eyes rolled. "No, I don't find that helpful… although, come to think of it, my mother did the same thing. I would be inclined to try that, except for the fact that you were the one that spoiled her."

His lips pursed. Andy couldn't argue that. Emily had him wrapped around her little finger and they both knew it. He was rather proud of it too. "We'll try the books," he decided.

They heard Emily before they saw her. Michael came down the stairs with her. She was whining and rubbing her eyes. "I was afraid of that." Emily wasn't so much sleeping while she was sick, as she was napping. When Sharon started to get up, Andy placed a hand against her shoulder. "No, I've got it."

"Andy, I can take her back up. Stay here and rest for a few more minutes." Sharon sat up on the sofa. He had been dealing with the kids all day and the nausea she was feeling had gotten better.

"I don't want you catching it." Andy was already on his feet. He met his dad in the middle of the room and lifted Emily into his own arms. "Come on, monkey girl. Let's go lay back down." He cupped the back of her head and laid his cheek against her forehead. She was still warm, but her fever hadn't crept back up.

Sharon only shook her head as he went back upstairs with her daughter. She settled on one end of the sofa and crossed her legs. "Because no pregnant woman in the history of the world has ever taken care of a sick child," she mused aloud.

"To be fair, I tried," Michael walked over and took a seat on the chair nearest the sofa. "I thought she might go right back to sleep, but she only wanted _Dandy_." He grinned at the name that Emily seemed to have bestowed on his son.

"Thank you." Sharon drew her legs up and leaned against the side of the couch. "It's getting a little confusing for her, first with Charlie and now the new baby. Everyone is calling him dad, and she's been using his name for the last two years."

"I can see where that might be hard for a little girl to understand." Michael shrugged at her. "He's the only dad she's really known, from what Andy has told us. He said your ex-husband was only in the picture for a little while?"

"Less than a year of her life, all together." Sharon shrugged. "It is what it is, and you're right. Her real dad couldn't tell you her favorite color, but there is a bright yellow bunny that is twice as big as she is, hidden in the trunk of Andy's car." She shook her head while they both laughed. "I tried to talk him out of it, but your son is incredibly stubborn."

Michael rubbed his pursed bottom lip. "He is," he agreed. "Gets it from his mother."

"Ha!" Sharon covered her mouth and lowered her head for a moment. Her shoulders shook. That was not a statement that she could disagree with, but she was a little embarrassed at having been so amused by it. When she snorted, she heard Michael roar with laughter. She could feel her cheeks flushing. "I'm sorry." She tipped her head back and took a breath. "I wish I could blame that on being pregnant, but I'm afraid it was just poor manners." Sharon laid a hand against her stomach, rubbing gently because her fit of laughter had tempted her nausea again. It would pass, but at the moment it was a reminder to not get too carried away again.

"Don't be sorry." Michael shook his head at her. "Hell, I'm not blind. I've lived with that woman for almost forty years; no one knows her as well as I do. Opinionated and stubborn as hell, that's my Carla." She could be as frustrating as any person he had ever met before, but he loved that woman to distraction.

"I wish I knew how to put her mind at ease," Sharon said quietly. Her brows drew together in a frown. It wasn't that she needed Andy's mother to like her, but she didn't want there to be any discourse in the family. "I know that she's disappointed in the situation, but—"

"Opinionated and stubborn," Michael told her again. He shook his head at her. "You're getting married. You're having a baby. That's just life," he waved a hand at her. "It's your second marriage, well, some relationships don't work out. Andrew isn't the angel that his mother might like to believe he is. He's made some mistakes. He's worked hard to fix them, but some things are just too broken to fix. His marriage was one of those things. He moved on. So did Sandra. As long as Charlie is taken care of," he shrugged, "that's all that matters."

"I agree." Sharon smiled at him. Andy might have gotten his stubborn streak from his mother, but he was also very much like his father. "We've all worked very hard to put the children first." Her head tilted. "Andy said he asked you for the ring before Christmas?" As she spoke, her thumb swept across the antique solitaire that was adorning her finger. "It was your mother's ring?"

"Yes." His gaze was drawn to the ring. "When he asked Sandra to marry him, I offered it to him, but he wanted to let her pick her own ring." Michael rolled his eyes. "Kids today. I was surprised when he called me. He said he wanted to do it right this time. When my parents got married, neither of them had much money. My father worked in a factory, and mother helped in a bakery. He gave her a simple band when they got married, it was all that he could afford, and she was happy with it. Wore it until the day she died. He got that ring for her a few years later. He worked extra shifts and put a little money away here and there, hid it in an old coffee can, so the story goes. He gave her that ring for their tenth anniversary. I've been holding on to it since we lost her. I thought Andy might want it someday, looks like he finally did."

"It's beautiful," she told him. It was just a simple diamond in a gold filigree band, but it had an elegance to it that Sharon admired. Knowing where it had come from just made it more beautiful in her opinion. "I might have ruined his proposal, though." She rested her elbow against the arch of the couch and propped her chin in her hand. "He was acting odd for a few weeks, I think he was working up to something. When I told him about the baby, he just blurted it out."

Michael laughed again. "Actually, I think you probably saved him. He was tied in knots. He didn't know if he should take you up the coast for the weekend, or drive out to the desert. There was even talk of a candlelight dinner cruise at some point. He wanted my opinion, and all I could say was _son, I've never even met the woman. Just give her the ring and hope for the best_!"

"He really is a mess." Sharon could easily imagine Andy going back and forth among all of those options. He could worry himself into quite a corner, very easily, by getting trapped inside his own head. "I think it's turned out okay so far."

"He said you're waiting to get married?" Michael didn't entirely understand that. He would think they'd want it done before the baby arrived.

"Yes." Sharon nodded. "We discussed it, and with getting moved in here and planning for the baby, we'd rather wait. We've already had a lot of changes this year, and we didn't want to toss too much at Charlie and Emily. The baby is the biggest adjustment for both of them, and we wanted to give them time to get used to everything."

"That makes sense." Carla was convinced it was something far more superficial, like being able to fit into the perfect dress. Michael had expected it to be more logical, and it was. One of these days, he thought his wife might see that this girl had a good head on her shoulders, and she was good for their Andrew. He was impulsive, but she seemed like she was able to control that a little. Michael leaned forward in his seat. "I'll tell you a secret," he said, voice pitched low. "The kids are going to bounce back a lot faster than you think. So don't wait too long. Putting them first is right, but sometimes, you've gotta take care of what you want too."

"Hm." Sharon leaned toward him. "I'll tell you a secret," she repeated with a warm smile. "I would have said yes either way."

Michael watched the way her eyes sparkled, and how she smiled when she thought of his son. He saw the way her hand kept straying toward her belly, and how she would tilt her head, as if listening to see if she was needed upstairs. All of these changes that she spoke of were unplanned, but he thought he was a good enough judge of character to say that they were not unwanted. It was all just a little ahead of schedule, but he had a feeling it would have happened eventually anyway.

"I kind of figured." He leaned back again. He heard footfalls on the stairs. Light, but not heavy enough to be his Carla. Michael nodded toward the hall when Charlie appeared. "Looks like we've got another one that's having a rough time tonight."

Sharon was up before Michael could stand. "Your cheeks are all flushed, honey." She walked over and cupped Charlie's face in her hands. His fever was up.

"My head hurts," he croaked. When she wrapped an arm around him, he leaned against her hip. The six-year-old's head just reached her stomach. It was his mom that he really wanted, but Sharon gave good hugs too.

"Let's get you some more medicine," she told him, and a glance at her watch showed her that he was due for another dose. She wasn't surprised that his fever was on the climb or that it had woken him. "Do you want to stay down here and watch a movie? Or go back to bed?"

Charlie shook his head and rubbed his face against her stomach. "Movie," he muttered. He was tired of being in his bed all the time, and really, he just didn't want to be alone.

"Okay, come on." Sharon kept an arm around his shoulders and walked him into the kitchen with her. They had small cabinet beside the sink that they kept a first aid kit, and extra supplies for the kids.

After he was given the medicine, Sharon got a cool, wet washcloth and folded it, then she lay down on the sofa with Charlie cuddled against her chest and draped it across his forehead. She noticed that Michael had already put a movie in the VCR and smiled as _An American Tail_ began playing. Both kids loved that one, and by now Sharon could almost quote every line. Charlie seemed satisfied with the choice, since he wriggled closer to her and settled down with a sigh.

Charlie was asleep ten minutes into the movie, and by the time _Somewhere Out There_ was being sang by a pair of separated mouse siblings, Sharon had dozed off too. Michael covered the pair with the blanket that was draped across the back of the sofa before returning to his chair. He had a feeling that Carla was probably still bending Andy's ear. He would give it a few more minutes before he ventured back upstairs to rescue his son.

 **MCMCMCMCMCMC**

Andy swayed with Emily as he worked through his second verse of _that damn song_ as he was coming to think of it. " _And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight. You're a candle in the window, on a cold, dark winter's night…_ " He swore to god, if Sharon tried to play that at their wedding, well he didn't know exactly what he would do, but it would probably involve losing his mind.

The little girl had her arms tucked against her chest while her head rested on his shoulder. He had decided to hold off on more cold medicine. Her fever wasn't climbing, but he suspected her ears were bothering her. Andy had used the drops they got from the doctor instead. Emily was proving to be prone to ear infections. The pediatrician seemed to think that she would grow out of it in a couple of years, but it made for some rough nights during cold and flu season. He rubbed her back while continuing to sing, and turned when he heard the door creak open. Andy nodded at his mother, but continued to sway.

"I thought your father said he was taking her down to Sharon," She commented. Carla had heard Andy singing, and not very well, as she sat reading in the guestroom next door.

"Yeah, he brought her down." Andy spoke quietly. Emily was still, and her breathing was even, but it was still too soon to put her down. "It's okay, I've got it. Sharon's not feeling great, and I don't really want her catching this."

"Ah yes," Carla felt like rolling her eyes. "Dinner wasn't to her liking. Well I'm sorry, I thought we could do a little better than chicken nuggets and French fries for one evening." She folded her arms across her chest. Her son kept telling her to wait until she met Sharon before forming an opinion of her. So far, she wasn't entirely impressed. "I understand that your experience is rather limited, Andrew, but Sharon is pregnant, she isn't ill."

"Ma." Andy gave her a long look. He shook his head. "Not now." He was well aware of the fact that Sharon wasn't his mother's favorite person. He was usually willing to let her have her opinion, but if she thought that he would ever allow her to criticize Sharon in front of their kids, she was incredibly mistaken. "I know she's perfectly capable of taking care of Emily. She's been doing it, in between working long shifts and trying to keep down most of what she eats, not to mention taking care of Charlie too on top of it. She's also helped get us moved in here, combined two households, and she's been shuffling the kids between dance class and baseball practice."

With Sandra teaching again, they were helping out with little league by picking up a couple of practices a week, and making sure that they made it to all of his games. They had put Emily in dance earlier in the year, something the little girl seemed to be really enjoying. It looked like she had inherited a good deal of her mother's talent, but time would really be the deciding factor.

"Yeah," Andy continued, "we had nuggets and fries last night. Do you know why? Not because it was easy, or because Sharon doesn't cook. She made it because it's Charlie's favorite and he feels like crap. He wants his mom, but Sandra has her hands full with her mother. So Sharon did something nice to try and help him feel better, and guess what, it worked. We had pizza the night before that because that's what I felt like picking up on my way home. We're a two-income family, Ma, and we're doing the best we can. We both work, we're both tired, and we both take care of these kids." Emily sighed and snuggled her face into his neck. He stroked a hand over her hair. It had grown to the middle of her back. It fell in dark, loose ringlets that were baby soft. "Shh…" Andy went back to swaying with her.

"If you had put even half of this effort into your first marriage," his mother told him, "you might find yourself still married to Sandra." She walked around the room. She picked up a blanket that had been tossed haphazardly across a chair in the corner and began folding it. "I don't understand why this is any different than the last time."

"I'm not half in a bottle," Andy shot back, "that would be a good place to start." He shook his head at her. "Ma, can you let it go? I'm gonna marry Sharon. We're having a baby together." He laid his head against the top of Emily's head, "and as soon as we're married, I'm going to adopt Em."

Carla's eyes widened. "You're going to adopt her? That's going to be a little hard considering she already has a father, don't you think?" A marriage was one thing, but an adoption would be far more binding. "Andy, have you really thought about this?"

"Yep." He had been thinking about it for a while. When he made the decision to ask Sharon to marry him, he knew that he wanted them both. They were a packaged deal, but that didn't matter to him. He already loved Emily too. "I'm her dad, we might as well make it official."

"You are not her father," Carla reminded him in a low voice. "As I recall, you've been very adamant that you didn't meet Sharon until well after Emily was born." She folded her arms over her chest. "She already has a father, Andrew."

"I don't see that asshole around, do you?" Andy shook his head at her. He had a feeling that his mother would have something to say about that. He and Sharon had talked about it at length, and she wasn't opposed to the idea, but she wanted him to be sure. "The monkey barely knows what he looks like. Jack walked out on them when Emily was barely six months old. He only showed up after she filed for divorce because he knew he was losing a meal ticket. Neither one of them have heard from him since. Sharon's got full custody and Jack hasn't paid a cent of child support in over a year." Andy had to work hard to keep his voice even and low. His lips moved against the top of Emily's head when she shifted and turned her face away from him. She sighed before settling against him again. "He doesn't know that she's allergic to cats, or what her favorite color is, _or_ that she's already reading. She needs a dad, and I might not be all that great, but I'm what she's got. Besides, with Charlie and the new baby, I don't want her feeling left out." Emily had gone completely limp, and he knew that he could put her down now. He took the few steps to her bed and laid her in it. It was only a twin bed, but white, with four posters and pale yellow, sheer bunting stretched from poster to poster because Emily had wanted a princess bed. It was as close as they could get to it, but she was happy with it. When she was a little older, and money wasn't so tight, he would get her a real one, with a canopy.

Carla watched while he tucked the child in. She stirred just a little, but wrapped her arms around an old looking monkey and settled down. It looked as though she may be down for the night. She eased out of the room ahead of her son and waited for him in the hall. When he joined her, she waited until he'd closed the child's door. "What about Charlie," she asked him, "have you considered the effect that this is going to have on him?"

"Ma." Andy sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah, actually. I did. I talked it over with Sandra. That's what we do, we talk about things. We might be divorced, but we're still his parents. Geez."

"You mind your tone with me," Carla warned him. He might not like the things that she was saying, and he was free to disagree… as she knew he probably would, but his tone was another matter entirely. "Andy, the reason that the two of you co-parent together so well, may well be because that is what you are meant to be doing," she lifted her brows at him, " _together_."

"God almighty, ma!" Andy tossed his hands up in exasperation and started down the hall. "Not that again. Sandra and I are over, long over. If you ask me, we probably never shoulda got married to begin with. We're just different people. We both know it. We've got Charlie, and we want what's best for him, but that's it. Yeah, I care about what happens to her, and her opinion is important to me, but that's because she's Charlie's mom. Nothing else."

"You know," Carla began, unwilling to give up just yet, "in the eyes of God…"

"Oh for." Andy stopped and turned around. He took a deep breath and mentally counted before he responded. "Sandra and I got married in your backyard, by a justice of the peace. The eyes of God didn't see a damned thing." They had always intended to go back, do the whole church blessing, but there had never seemed to be time. "Now then, if the Church will give Sharon an annulment, the eyes of God will be all over our marriage." Andy smirked, he just couldn't help himself. "We think she's got good grounds for it, since Jack abandoned them. It was Sandra's idea, actually. I think it's pretty damned brilliant, if you ask me. I'm going to marry her anyway, church or not, but we want to do it right if we can. If we can't get a priest to marry us, her old man offered to do it. He's a judge, did I tell you that?"

Carla rolled her eyes at him as he started down the hall again. "Yes, you did, and her mother's a teacher. She comes from a very nice family, but that doesn't mean that she's the girl for you, Andrew."

"Woman," he shot back. "She's the woman for me, and ya know, I love you ma. I do, but I'm not changing my mind. You're just gong to have to get on board with all this. Sharon and I are getting married. We're having a baby. We've already got a family." He shrugged at her. "That's just the way it's going to be." Andy moved down the stairs quickly, not quite at a jog, but with an added bounce to his step. He had to grin a little at the shocked expression that he left on his mother's face. She would get used to Sharon eventually.

In the living room, he found a movie playing quietly. "How long's he been down here?" The question was directed to his father. Andy crossed the room and leaned down to lay the back of his hand against Charlie's forehead.

"Not that long," Michael said quietly. "They both dozed off a few minutes into the movie. I think Charlie was just looking for a cuddle." He pushed out of his chair. Now that Andy had come back downstairs, he would leave them in his son's capable hands. "She gave him some medicine," he reported.

"Thanks dad." Andy knelt down beside the sofa. He looked up at him. "Be careful up there. She might be a little riled up. She didn't like some of the things I had to say."

Michael shook his head. "She'll have to get used to it, won't she?" He clapped his son on the shoulder as he walked by. "Thanks for the warning. I can handle your mother. I've been doing it longer than you've been alive. The trick is not letting her know that's what I'm doing."

"Mmhm." Andy shook his head. "In the morning, let me know how that worked out for you." He smiled at the sound of his father's quiet laughter. Andy stroked a lock of hair away from Sharon's face. He smiled down at her when her eyes fluttered open. "Hey."

"Hi." She turned her face into his hand and closed her eyes again. "Tired," she mumbled.

"I know." His thumb stroked the curve of her cheek. "Come on, I'll take Charlie back upstairs. Let's get you into bed too." He swept the blanket back and stood up. Andy grunted as he lifted Charlie into his arms. His son was almost too big to be carrying him around. The boy hardly stirred. Andy kissed the top of his head and held out a hand for Sharon.

"Did Emily go back down?" Sharon turned off the television and let him pull her to her feet.

"Yeah," Andy placed a hand on her shoulder and directed her toward the stairs. "Don't worry about any of that," he said, when she started turning off lights. "I'll come back down and lock up after I get Charlie into bed."

"No, I can do it." Sharon put the window behind the sofa down and turned off the light in the corner. "Go ahead, I'll be up in a minute."

"Sharon." Andy grinned at her. "You'll have to go into the kitchen to put the others down…"

"Right." She walked toward the stairs. "You can come back down after you put Charlie back to bed." She made a face at his quiet laughter. Her stomach was settled and they both knew she wasn't going to risk upsetting it again by going into the kitchen where the smell of boiled cabbage might still be lingering.

Andy shook his head at her. He moved up the stairs behind her. While Sharon went to their room at the end of the hall, he stepped into his son's room and put the boy back to bed. Charlie hardly stirred, but he stayed for minute. He still felt pretty warm, and had a feeling that one of them would be up in a couple of hours to give him some more medicine.

He joined Sharon in their room a little while later, after making sure that the house was locked up for the night. He wasn't surprised to find her already dozing again. He took a quick shower before joining her. When he finally lay down beside her, she was on her back with an arm thrown over her head. Andy leaned over, lips gentle against the faint curve of her stomach. Her lips curved, telling him that she was only half asleep. He stretched out beside her and pressed a kiss to her mouth before draping his arm across her. "Love you," he mumbled.

"Mmhm." She rolled onto her side and slid back against him. "Me too," she told him, and pulled his arm around her waist.

She was asleep a few minutes later. Andy laid there, listening to the quiet. His mother could disagree all that she liked. He knew how damned lucky he was. He was getting another shot at all of this, and he wasn't going to blow it this time.

 **-TBC-**


	13. Chapter 13

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

 **A/N:** NSFW, rated for this chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 13**

Sharon hummed quietly as she put together breakfast. She had just gotten off the phone with Sandra, who had called to check on Charlie. She assured her there was no reason for her to shuffle things around and rush home; they had the kids well in hand. The cold they were both suffering from would just have to run its course, and she was sure that it would before the weekend arrived.

Her head tilted. She could hear noise upstairs. The kids were playing quietly in the living room, but Andy was getting ready for work. His father was at the table with a cup of coffee and the morning paper, and Sharon was pretending to ignore the disapproving looks that she was getting from his mother.

Charlie wandered into the kitchen and she smiled. "What's up, buddy?"

"Can I have some juice?"

"You sure can." She gave the eggs another stir and set the skillet off the burner before she turned to the fridge. Sharon filled a glass and carried it to the table for him. She knew that Emily wouldn't be far behind him, and filled a cup for her before putting a lid on it.

Carla's brow arched as Charlie sat down with his drink. Breakfast was going to be at least a few more minutes. "Wouldn't you like to finish watching your show until it's time to eat?"

"He can when he's finished his juice," Sharon told her.

"Oh?" Carla tilted her head at that. "Didn't I see Emily with a cup in front of the television the other day?"

"Sandra doesn't let Charlie walk around with open cups or glasses at her house," she explained patiently. "So when he is here, the same rule applies, for both kids." It was only fair, and while she wouldn't mind or would have given Charlie a closed cup, she respected his mother's rules.

"I'm a little clumsy right now." Charlie flashed a wide grin at them. "I've got to grow into my big feet first."

Michael chuckled. "Your dad had the same problem," he told him.

Sharon scooped scrambled eggs into a bowl, and hearing movement through the second floor, she walked over and filled a cup with coffee. She thought that Andy might be joining them soon. "Charlie is having a growth spurt right now. He's stumbling a little bit. He's going to be a tall, handsome guy."

"I'm already handsome," he told her with a smirk.

"You're all Flynn." Sharon shook her head at him. He also seemed to be feeling better. She was grateful for that. Kids were pretty resilient, and she hoped they would continue to improve throughout the day. It was one of the mysteries of motherhood and childrearing that she was sure that she would never understand, how a child could be miserable and almost inconsolable one minute, and seem content and playful the next. Well, perhaps not in minutes, she acknowledged, hours certainly. Sleep had done both children a world of good, but they were still not completely back to their usual selves yet. For the time being, their moods were good, and she would take it.

Michael leaned over and whispered loudly to his grandson, "it's what the ladies like."

"It's important that you believe that," Carla told him. "The rest of us know better." She lifted her coffee cup and mused quietly. It seemed that Sharon had different rules for the house when it was just _her_ child. She made a mental note to speak with Sandra about that.

Sharon shook her head. She could see the wheels in Carla's head turning, and with that, she felt the tension forming between her shoulder blades. "Sandra's kept Emily for us a few times when we had to work and our regular sitter wasn't available. When Emily is there, the house rules apply to her too." On cue, her daughter trotted into the kitchen in search of the rest of the family. "Table," she instructed her.

While the kids settled in with their juice, Sharon finished making breakfast. She made two plates with eggs, bacon, and toast, and a few slices of fresh melon. She placed them on the table in front of the kids. The adults could serve themselves, so after the kids were taken care of, she placed the bowl of eggs, a plate of toast, and platter of bacon at the center of the already set table. "I'm going to go and check on Andy," it didn't surprise her at all that as soon as she turned the kids began trading food. Charlie gave Emily his melon for her bacon. "I saw that." Both of them only grinned at her as she left the room, Andy's coffee in her hand.

Michael waited until he was sure that Sharon was out of earshot before giving his wife a long, warning look. "Stop it," he told her. "The point of visiting our son isn't to make his wife feel uncomfortable in her own home."

"They're not married yet," she reminded him. Carla wrinkled her nose at the bacon. "It's awfully greasy."

"Which is just the way our son likes it," he reminded her, "in case you've forgotten." He picked up an extra piece, since it looked like she wasn't going to have any. "So do I. That girl is bending over backwards, and legally married or not, it's just a matter of time and a piece of paper at this point."

Charlie looked over at his grandfather while he chewed on his bacon. "My friend Joey has two moms, too." He explained. "They live together, though. But they're very nice. I think Sharon is nicer, though. She makes better brownies than Joey's moms."

Michael lifted his coffee cup and toasted his wife with it. He smiled crookedly at her shocked expression. "See, it looks like we could be dealing with an entirely different situation. Let's just be grateful with how things are, and not how we'd like them to be." He looked at his grandson. "Now, tell me about these brownies, how hard do you think it would be for us to get her to make them?" If there was one thing that he and his son, and his grandson apparently, had in common, it was a sweet tooth.

"Not hard." Charlie's blue eyes sparkled. "I'll ask Sharon if we can have them." He leaned close to his grandfather, and his voice pitched low. "She'll say we have to have dinner first," he whispered loudly, "but if we're real nice, she'll let us have one _before_ dinner, and sometimes, she puts peanut butter in them, and they're really, really good."

"Mmhm!" Emily nodded, eyes wide. "Charlie, ask momma. She'll do it. Peanut butter ones," she told him.

"Okay," he nodded, deciding it was an excellent idea. He would ask Sharon after breakfast.

"It sounds to me," Michael said, "as if you two have this situation all figured out and well in hand." From what he had seen for the past few days, the two kids got along pretty well. Or as well as anyone would expect siblings to get along. He seemed to remember quite a few squabbles amongst his and Carla's kids while they were growing up. They'd had four of them, and Andy was the only boy. That certainly made for some very interesting times.

Carla shook her head at him. "You're as bad as the kids," she told her husband. He was practically salivating at the idea of a sweet treat.

"What's not to be excited about?" Michael smirked into his coffee cup. "I don't get peanut butter brownies at home. This visit is looking better and better all the time." His wife might not agree, but he didn't care. He and the kids had a plan, and they would hatch it as soon as Sharon came back downstairs.

Andy was taking his time getting ready for work this morning. He wasn't thrilled at the idea of having to go in and leave Sharon with the kids, and his parents. She would be heading in later; and his parents had volunteered to keep the kids for them, but she would be alone with them for a few hours this morning. He looked up when she joined him in their bathroom.

"If that's for me," he drawled with a grin, "I'm going to love you forever."

"You already promised to love me forever when you asked me to marry you," she pointed out with a smirk. Sharon handed him the cup and took a seat on the low vanity between the sink and the toilet. She scooted back against the mirror and drew her legs up, folding them beneath her. He was standing there in only his boxer shorts, with his hair was still damp from the shower, and from the look of it, he had already shaved. "Breakfast is ready. The kids are eating with your parents."

"Yeah?" He took a sip of the coffee and hummed. She made it strong, the way he liked it, with no cream or sugar. Andy placed the cup on the vanity and walked over to stand in front of her. He rested his hands on her knees and slid them up her thighs, beneath the simple cotton dress that she had put on that morning. He leaned over and let his nose nudge her cheek before his lips brushed hers. "Morning."

"Good morning." She had risen before him. Emily had come into their room looking for her. Sharon had gotten both kids up, and satisfied that their fevers were much lower, but still hanging on, she had given both of them medicine. They had cuddled on the sofa for a little while before she had eventually gone to make breakfast.

"How are you doing today?" His hand wandered to her stomach while his lips moved to her neck. She seemed to be okay most mornings, but they'd had a few rough ones early on.

"We're okay." She smiled. A low moan was pulled from her throat when his hand slid up to cup her breast. "The kids are feeling better too. Fevers are down. I'll feel better about leaving them here today, if that keeps up." She drew a breath when his thumb stroked over her nipple. " _Andy_. Everyone is awake."

"They're all downstairs too." He moved his other hand into her hair and tipped her head back. His mouth covered hers. She tasted of the ginger tea that she had that morning. He groaned when her hand moved into his boxers to curl around him. He missed her. They hadn't had a lot of time alone together in the last several weeks, and even when they did, she didn't always feel like having his hands all over her.

"Is this what you want?" He was thrusting against her hand as she stroked him. She teased his tongue with hers as she felt him grow harder against her palm. He had been getting a lot of hand jobs lately, but that wasn't exactly what he needed at the moment, and as heat coiled inside her, she realized that she needed more too.

When she pushed him away, his eyes narrowed. Andy watched her slide toward the edge of the vanity. He groaned when the dress went over her head. "Shit." Her breasts were practically falling out of her bra. "You intended to tease me today, didn't you?"

"Maybe." Her eyes glittered playfully. She reached back and loosened the clasp of her bra. She watched his eyes darken when she tossed it aside. If there was only one thing about her changing body that he appreciated, it was that. "Is it a problem?"

"God no." He moved between her legs and pressed her thighs apart. Andy captured her mouth again. While they kissed, his hands slid up to cup the heavy weight of her breasts. He was gentle as he rolled her nipples between his fingers, and grinned against her mouth when she moaned in response. "Want you," he muttered.

"We'll have to be quick." She pressed him back and slid off the vanity. Her hands pushed his boxers down, out of their way. "I don't want to leave the kids alone for too long."

"Oh, it will be." He was throbbing to be inside her, and he realized, as his cupped her sex, he wasn't the only one needing this. He turned her in front of him and bent her forward. He was able to watch her in the mirror, and when her hands grasped the edge of the vanity, he moved behind her. He laid a hand against her back, and slid it slowly downward. His fingers caressed the curve of her backside, and then curled around her hip. He guided himself to her entrance and pushed against her folds, teasing her. When she met his gaze in the mirror, eyes dark, he pushed slowly into her. They both enjoyed the feel of her heat wrapped around him for just a moment. Then he began to move, slowly, but with increasing tempo. He watched her head fall forward, and her teeth scrape across her lip. Then his eyes moved to her breasts, and they way they bounced with each thrust. "Fuck," he muttered.

"Yes." She met his gaze in the mirror again. There was a challenge in her eyes.

"Hold on," he gritted out. He gripped her shoulder and changed his angle. They both groaned. He moved faster, with short hard thrusts, filling her quickly. In the mirror, he watched her slide a hand between her thighs and clenched his teeth together.

Neither of them lasted very long after that. The moment he felt her walls clenching around him, he let go. He slammed into her twice before his release filled her. He continued to thrust against her, hips jerking while his arm wrapped around her waist. He pulled her against him and pressed his face against her shoulder. "God you feel so good."

"Hm." She could only hum in response. She tipped her head back against him and drew several, quick, shuddering breaths. That was exactly what she had needed. She felt him slip out of her and she turned to wrap her arms around him. She pressed a kiss against his neck. They stood together for just a moment longer. There wasn't a lot of time for afterglow, however. She kissed him again before stepping away. "I'm going to get cleaned up. There's eggs and bacon."

"You are the perfect woman." He let her go, but admired her flushed skin and the curve of her hips as she bent over and started the side of the tub to start the shower. "One of these days, I'm going to be able to afford to stay home and keep you in bed all day," he promised.

"You say the sweetest things." She rolled her eyes at him, but laughed at the dopey expression on his face. "Hurry up, you'll be late to work."

"Yes, Sergeant." He used a wet cloth to wipe himself off and pulled his boxers back up. Andy left Sharon to her shower and moved into their room to finish getting dressed.

She had taken the test the previous fall, and the little bump in rank had also come with a nice little bump in pay. He knew she was looking to transfer out of patrol too, but there wasn't a lot available while she was pregnant. Until the baby was born, she was stuck at Central, working the book-in desk at holding. The guys in his division liked to tease him because dropping off or picking up suspects no longer bothered him. He didn't give a damn. If he got to see her during the day, then it was a damned good day; especially with how much they had both been working lately.

Andy moved downstairs with his tie in his hand and a jacket draped over his arm. He left it laying across the back of a chair in the living room and pulled his tie around his neck. He grinned as he walked into the kitchen. The kids were still at the table, working on their breakfast. "Morning." He carried his half empty coffee mug to the counter and topped it off before moving to the table. "Sharon will be back down in a little bit. She decided to grab a shower while she had a couple of free minutes."

Neither of his parents believed that for a second, at least not entirely. They had also been young and impetuous once. Michael leaned back in his chair. Andy had brought the coffee carafe over. He held out his cup and gladly took some more. "We wondered when you would find your way down here. You almost missed a good breakfast."

"I see that." Andy set the carafe in the center of the table. He stood between Charlie and Emily's chairs and checked on both kids. The fevers were still down, low grade from the feel of it. He nodded. He wasn't surprised to find Charlie's plate almost empty and Emily still nibbling. When she lifted a piece of melon toward him, he took it, nipping at her fingers until she laughed. "Thank you, baby girl." He stroked a hand over Charlie's head before rounding the table and taking a seat. "She made the thick stuff," he hummed in delight as he began stacking bacon on his plate. He found he had quite an appetite that morning.

"Oh for crying out loud, Andrew." Carla rolled her eyes at him. "Try not to be quite so obvious." She stood from the table and took hers and Michael's plates to the sink. "If you gentlemen will excuse me, I'm going to get ready for this day."

Andy only shrugged as she left. He was in love with a beautiful woman and she was having his kid. What wasn't there to be happy about? He dug into his breakfast and coaxed Emily to eat a little more of hers. When the kids asked to be let down from the table, he got them both to finish their juice first. "Sharon has to be at work at noon," he told his father. "She's doing second shift this week, so she can spend her mornings with the kids, since that's when she feels best." By about three in the afternoon, she would be nauseous and miserable. He knew she would power through, and with any luck, it wouldn't last more than a couple of hours. "She'll get off around ten, and should be home by eleven, but unless we roll out or something else comes up, I should be home by six."

"I wish you'd talk her into working fewer hours," Michael shook his head. Where he came from, a man didn't let his pregnant wife work, not if he could help it. He knew that he was an old, macho pig, as his daughters sometimes called him, but he managed to provide well enough for his family while Carla was having their kids.

"Believe me," Andy stood up and began clearing plates off the table. "I would like that too, but there is no talking Sharon into anything that she doesn't want to do, especially as long as she feels like she's able."

"She is also perfectly capable of hearing you when you are talking about her." Sharon strolled into the room in a pair of jeans and a soft sweater that hugged her form. She had taken an extra few minutes to dry and style her hair, so that it fell in soft, loose curls around her shoulders. "Are you up to no good, Andrew Flynn?"

"Always." He flashed a crooked grin at her. His eyes swept her form. He almost groaned, and might have, if not for his father and the kids. "You're killing me," he muttered.

"I know." She smirked. When he turned toward her and leaned against the edge of the sink, she rolled her eyes at him. His tie was hanging pitifully around his neck. "You're a lost cause," she told him. She moved in front of him and tugged on the ends of his tie.

"Nah, I just know you'll do it for me if I look cute enough." His brows bobbed teasingly. "It worked didn't it?" He lifted his chin. Her hands were making quick work of the tie.

"I just don't want you to be late again because you spent too long bumbling with it," She shot back. She tied it quickly and smoothed it down. Sharon nodded when it was straight. "There you go. I like this color on you." He was wearing the new teal shirt that she had gotten him.

"Me too." He dropped a quick kiss to her lips. "Thanks babe. I'm going to get going. I'll see you later."

"Be careful," her hand stroked down his arm as he moved away. "Play nice with the other kids."

"I'll try. There's a grumpy old bully at the playground, he gets on my nerves." Andy tossed back the last of his coffee and put his cup aside. "Okay rugrats, I'm out of here."

Sharon laughed when he tossed Emily over his shoulder and tucked Charlie under his arm, carrying him like a football. He took the kids back to the living room, where he would leave them playing on his way out. She shook her head at the squeals coming from the other room. "He's going to be late."

"I don't think he minds." Michael watched her put fruit and bacon on a plate and nibble at it while she moved around the kitchen, picking up the last of the dishes and placing them in the sink. He pushed up the sleeves of his shirt and joined her. "I'll take care of that. You go sit down and eat."

"Oh no," Sharon smiled warmly at him. "I appreciate it, Michael, but I can get the dishes, you're a guest."

"Nonsense." He pointed her to the table. "Sit. Eat," he said firmly.

"Yes sir." Sharon took her plate, but instead of sitting at the table, she pulled up one of the stools at the center island. "You really don't have to do the dishes," she told him again, "I can get them after I eat."

"You cooked." Michael looked at her over the rims of his dark reading glasses. "Don't tell me that my son lets you cook _and_ do the dishes?"

"No." She laughed. "He's as stubborn about it as you are."

"Good." He nodded. "I won't need to take him out back and beat him. That might make the visit awkward." They got quiet while he washed dishes and she ate her breakfast. "Don't mind Carla," he told her. "She's trying to figure you out. I won't say she doesn't mean anything by it, because I think we both know that she does. She drives our daughters crazy, telling them how to take care of their families. So you're not alone."

"She's Andy's mother," Sharon shrugged, because it was a given that she would be polite. "She's also raised four children, so I'm sure that there are some invaluable lessons that I can learn. Anything else…" Sharon would just ignore as much as she could, and what she couldn't, she would grin and bear. Sharon carried her plate over when she had eaten as much as she could stand. "If I can't talk you into letting me finish up here," she said, and smiled when he glared at her, "then I am going to go play with the kids. Thank you, Michael."

"Off you go," he shooed her out of the kitchen. He watched her go, and once he was alone, Michael shook his head; it was his lot in life to be surrounded by stubborn, opinionated women. He had married one, produced three of them, and now it looked like his son had gone off and found another. Life had a funny way of working just how it was supposed to, he decided. The others would figure that out soon enough. He would just wait for them to catch up to him.

 **-TBC-**

 **A/N:** All evidence points to Andy becoming a vegetarian later in life, so at this point, he isn't. He indicates in _The Closer S4E02 Speed Bump_ that it's recent.


	14. Chapter 14

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 14**

By Sunday, both of the kids were feeling better. The cold had run its course, and neither of their parents had gotten it. Sharon and Andy had taken both of them to early Mass, along with his parents, so that they would have time for the small Easter egg hunt and dinner that they had planned. They didn't organize a big gathering, but it was their first holiday in the house, and as a real family, and they wanted to celebrate it.

Andy grinned as he walked through the house toward the kitchen. That was where all of the activity seemed to be centered. His parents were having coffee at the breakfast table, while Sandra stood at the center island with Sharon. Charlie's mom had gotten home the evening before, and they had invited her to join them for the day, rather than just showing up after everything was said and done to take Charlie home. His ex-wife was peeling potatoes while Sharon got the ham ready to go into the oven.

"Hey honey," he laid his hands on Sharon's shoulders. "I got you something."

"Hm?" She looked up, and when he turned her toward the door, her eyes widened. "Mom!" She spotted her mother first, and dropped the pineapple slices that she was arranging. Sharon wiped her hands quickly before hurrying across the kitchen. By the time she reached the door, her father had appeared too. "I thought you weren't coming until Tuesday?"

"We flew in last night." Joseph waited until his wife had stepped aside before he drew his girl into a hug. "We wanted to surprise you."

"Well you succeeded." Sharon stepped back. Her bright smile only grew bigger when her mother took her hands. "How did you manage to keep Andy from spoiling the surprise this time?"

"Hey." He scowled at her. "I didn't spoil the surprise last time. You drug it out of me. What's a guy to do?"

"I promised to make my macaroons for him while I'm here. His need to tell you everything is only surpassed by his sweet tooth," Genevieve told her. She held Sharon's arms out. "Now let me see you." They had visited at Christmas, before any of them knew that Sharon was expecting. It was much easier for them to come to Sharon, especially now. Her girl looked lovely in her pale lavender sundress. It was sleeveless and straight, a crochet layer over soft cotton that almost reached her knees. Her little bump was only just visible. "You are absolutely glowing. How are you feeling?"

"Better." Sharon assured them both. "I'm finding that I have a little more energy now, but I know what to expect this time." She had felt more overwhelmed last time. Emily had been unexpected too, and Jack wasn't as pleased about it as she was once she got used to the idea. This time was a lot easier, for many reasons. She was able to enjoy being pregnant in a way that she couldn't with her first.

"Speaking of," Joseph looked around the room. "Where's our girl?" He spotted her, seated at the table on Michael's knee and held out his arms. "There she is!"

"Pop-pop!" Emily bounced to her feet and trotted over. She laughed when she was lifted high.

Joseph swung her around before drawing her into a hug. "Aren't you a vision? That's a very pretty dress, Miss Emily." He wasn't surprised to see her in a pale yellow version of her mother's dress, although this one had a bow at the back, and a couple of small flowers adorning the bodice.

"Alright, that's enough, Joseph. We've discussed this. You're going to have to share her." Genevieve held out her arms for her granddaughter. She wasn't moved at his pout, or his scowl. When Emily was finally placed in her arms, she hugged her tightly.

"I'm so sorry, my manners are terrible." Sharon turned where she stood and gestured to Andy's parents, who had stood during their reunion. "Mom, dad, this is Carla and Michael Flynn, Andy's parents." She clasped her hands in front of her, eyes still sparkling brightly. "Joseph and Genevieve O'Dwyer," she told the other couple.

"Genevieve," Carla said, a bit curiously, as the two women shook hands. "That's French, isn't it? I thought Andy said that your family is Irish?"

"It is." She smiled politely. This was the woman who had her daughter in tears at least twice that week. She reminded herself to be polite. "I'm French on my mother's side of the family. Genevieve was my grandmother's name, but everyone just calls me Vivy. I'm afraid that the full thing is a bit of a mouthful. Especially for young Charlie here, isn't that right?" She held out her arms when he approached. "You've gotten so big," she exclaimed as she hugged him.

Joseph held Emily on his hip as he greeted his new son-in-law's parents. His daughter and the young man may not be married yet, but that was only a formality as far as they were all concerned. "It's nice to meet you both," he told them. "Charles, my boy!" He held out a hand. "You've grown at least two inches since Christmas."

"That's probably true." Sandra chuckled quietly. "I know he's sprouted at least half an inch since we bought that suit. He takes after his father."

"In more ways than one," Andy acknowledged with a grin. He ducked when she threw a potato peel at him. "I'm just being honest, Sandy."

She threw another peel at him. "I hate that name," she groaned. He knew it too. Her eyes narrowed. "Sharon, deal with him before I'm forced to. I won't be as nice."

"And you think I will be?" She turned to fix her fiancé with a look. "Be nice, Andrew."

"Yes dear." He bowed his head, but his eyes were still sparkling with mischief. He picked up the potato peel, and as soon as she turned back around, he chunked it back at Sandra.

"Andrew." Vivy arched a brow at him. "Sharon didn't see that, but I did." She shook her finger at him as she walked around the island. "Sandra, you're looking lovely, if a bit tired. How is your mother?"

"She's doing much better." She placed the potato in her hand on the counter and turned. "She'll be sending you a note, but she asked me to pass along her thanks. The flowers that you sent were absolutely beautiful. They really cheered her up. Thank you."

"It was the least that we could do." Their daughter had been seeing Andy for a couple of years now. There was going to be a marriage and another child. Their families were linked, and Charlie was a nice boy. She and Joseph were very fond of him. "I brought gifts for both the kids," She touched Sandra's hand, ever mindful that the other woman was still Charlie's mother, "I hope you don't mind?"

"Of course not." Sandra chuckled. "I'm sure he'll love whatever you brought." She was grateful that Sharon's parents were so generous where her son was concerned. They all went out of their way to make sure that he was treated equally to Emily. Sandra had heard horror stories of combined families, and she saw a little of it in her teaching, so she was thankful that all of them were able to compromise so well. She and Andy still had their disagreements, of course, and it had taken her a long time to get used to Sharon being in her son's life, but everyone was committed to doing what was best for the kids. Sandra inclined her head. Joseph had a mischievous look about him. "Unless it's another Cubs jersey."

He bounced Emily on his hip and held up his other hand. "I have learned my lesson. Charles is a Dodgers man, through and through." He looked at his granddaughter. "What about you? Dodgers or Cubs?"

Emily fluttered her lashes at him. She offered her prettiest smile. "Mets, pop-pop, Mets."

"Ha!" Andy threw his arms in the air. "That's my girl, Emily Marie." He pointed at her. "There's an extra chocolate bunny here, somewhere, just for you."

"Stop it." Sharon smacked his chest as she walked past him. "You're brainwashing that child." She shook her head at him. She had to admit, it was cute to watch Emily curl up in his lap to watch a game, and she doubted the child really understood anything that she was being taught, at least not yet, but she was going to have to find a way to counteract the education her daughter was getting.

"No," Andy drawled. "I'm teaching her right."

Joseph sighed. "My work is cut out for me. We're going to have to visit more often, Vivy. Our girls are learning terrible, New York habits."

"You might have thought of that," his wife said, "before you sent our daughter to New York to go to school." She took Emily from him and hugged her again before setting her on her feet. "You have only yourself to blame, Joseph William O'Dwyer."

"There's probably some truth to that," he agreed. Joseph draped an arm around his wife's shoulders and drew her close. "Sharon, Andrew told us that you were planning to have a small hunt for the kids here, before dinner?"

"Yes." She went back to prepping the ham. "We thought we'd avoid the larger event at the church while they're still recovering, and it's nice to have the family together in the new house. I'm really glad you could both be here too."

She was practically beaming. Andy grinned as he moved behind her. His arms moved around her waist. Andy kissed the side of her head before leaning against her back. "It's turning out to be a pretty good day."

"Yes it is." Sharon's eyes narrowed. He wasn't usually so amorous in front of his parents, or his ex-wife. It didn't take her more than a second to realize that he was up to something. "If you touch even one of those pineapples, Andrew, you will lose that hand."

"Damn." He couldn't say that he hadn't tried. He looked across the counter at Sandra, who was watching them. He winked at her. Then he reached around Sharon and grabbed a slice of pineapple anyway. He dodged away quickly, but he wasn't quite fast enough.

"Okay, that's it. You're done." Sharon smacked his arm. She ignored the laughing of the others and began shoving him toward the door. "Out of the kitchen. Go on. Go find something else to do, you big baby. Take the kids with you."

"It was worth it." Andy hurried away from her before she could smack him again. "Come on kids, let's see what kind of trouble we can get into out here. Oh look, presents!"

" _Andy!_ " Sharon rolled her eyes at him. "We were going to wait until after dinner was in the oven." She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. He had gone and gotten the rabbit out of the car, along with the remote control car that he had gotten for Charlie, and the baskets they had made for both of the kids.

"Yeah, well," he shrugged at her. "I changed my mind." He flashed his most charming, boyish grin at her. "You said to play with the kids, I'm going to play with the kids. Come on honey, don't be mad."

"You're driving me crazy," she told him. Sharon turned away from him. She walked back into the kitchen shaking her head, and had to dodge the kids as they ran past her. There were other gifts for them, the things that her parents had brought, and she knew that Sandra had gotten them something too. They would open those later, before going out to hunt the eggs, but for now, she would let Andy have his fun with them.

"I think that's our cue," Michael stood up. "Joseph, what do you know about large, yellow bunny rabbits?"

"I've heard they make little dancing girls very happy. We should check this out." Choosing the better part of valor, he kissed his wife before joining the other men in the living room.

"I tried to warn you." Sandra continued peeling potatoes. "It's like he's twelve. The question that you really have to ask yourself, is how many times has he put batteries in that car because he had to try it out first?"

"Oh my god." Sharon stared at her. "That's why he's been spending so much time in the garage. I thought he was just enjoying his magazine collection," she drawled with a smirk.

Sandra chortled happily, and almost cut her finger. "Well that's probably in there too," she snickered.

"Oh honestly," Carla shook her head at them. "It's Easter, for crying out loud." She left her chair at the table. "I think I'm going to help Andy keep the kids occupied until we all go out."

Sharon folded her lips together as she watched her mother-in-law leave. She waited until she was certain that the other woman had left the kitchen before rolling her eyes at Sandra. "It's been like this all week," she whispered.

Sandra's brows were arched. She leaned closer, voice pitched low. "What did you do?" She expected Carla to be difficult with her, considering how her marriage to Andy had fallen apart. Both Andy and Sharon had mentioned that his mother wasn't pleased with his new relationship, but she thought they were exaggerating. She was seeing for herself that they weren't.

"I'm breathing." Sharon lifted her hands, completely at a loss. She glanced at her mother, when Vivy joined them at the island. "I'm too hard on Andy," she said quietly, "or I should be more strict with Emily, and not too strict with Charlie. We won't even discuss the part where I am, apparently, breaking some cardinal rule by continuing to work while I'm pregnant." Sharon held up her hands. "I understand that you stayed home after Charlie was born, and I respect that, I would love to do the same, but you were teaching until he was born."

"Yes, for the most part. I finished the year, but I didn't go back in the fall." Sandra shook her head. Charlie was born in the fall, and she had known she wasn't going to continue teaching until he was old enough to be in school too, so she had resigned that May, when the school year ended. She wasn't very far along at the time. "For me, it was just a matter of timing, but yes. If I had been due later in the year, I would have taught that semester too."

Vivy stroked her daughter's arm. "I'm sure that she means well, sweetheart. You can't let it get you so worked up. It isn't good for you." She wasn't entirely pleased with the situation, but she hated to see Sharon so upset. "I'm sure that she's probably just looking out for her son, in the best way that she knows how."

"That's probably true," Sharon replied, "but you manage to look out for me without being harsh. You treat Andy with respect, especially in his own home, and you've never criticized his parenting." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I sincerely wish I knew what I had done. Other than the fact that I'm not his first wife."

Sandra snorted quietly. She began peeling with fervor. "She didn't like me either. Don't let her fool you. She wasn't quite so blunt about it, but I was not her favorite person. Not by far. I wasn't Catholic enough, for one thing. I'm very lapsed," she told Vivy, "more of an Easter Catholic, but barely that. I didn't like the New York winters, but I stuck it out long enough to get my degree. I went to NYU because I wanted to be a writer, I changed my major sophomore year, but just when I was thinking very seriously about transferring back home to UCLA, I met Andy. I was a very nice girl as long as we were dating, and I was local. The minute that we started talking about wanting to move out here, marrying me was probably not the best decision that he could make."

"Really?" Sharon placed both of her hands on the counter. "I don't believe it." She rolled her eyes heavenward. "The only thing that Andy has heard for years now, is that he should be back with you. The night he asked his dad for the ring, his mother called him five minutes later to talk him out of it. When he told his parents about the baby, you know what she asked? If he was sure that it's his, and by the way, isn't it convenient that I managed to get pregnant just when he's considering marriage."

"Ouch." Sandra winced. "Brutal." She put the last potato down and wiped her hands. She carried the bowl of peeled vegetables to the sink to rinse them. "I don't know what to tell you, girl. She was never quite this bad with me, so it may have something to do with how things turned out. She may be worried that you're going to drive him back to the bottle. I just dropped him off there."

"Girls." Vivy shook her head at them. She didn't believe that they were entirely wrong. She took the ham from her daughter when it appeared to be ready, and walked it over to the oven. "Maybe what you need is a little more patience. It's difficult watching your child learn to depend on someone else." When she turned back around, she found both women staring at her. "Okay, you're right. She's being unreasonable. I don't know what to tell you, Sharon. I wish I could make it better."

She sighed. "I know." Sharon cleaned up the mess that she had made glazing and prepping the ham. "I shouldn't be talking about this. I don't want Andy or the kids to hear it. He knows, and he's doing his best, but I don't want him to know how much it's really gotten to me this week."

"He knows." Sandra rinsed and drained the potatoes before carrying the bowl back over so she could begin slicing them. They had decided they would mash them, since the kids would enjoy that more. "He told me last night when I called to check on Charlie, that I should probably wear armor today because she's been in fine form."

"I hate that he's worried about this." Sharon reached across the counter and took a few of the potatoes so she could help slice them. "He shouldn't have to defend his relationship with me to his own parents. I feel like…" she sighed again. "I don't know. I'll be glad when they leave. It's terrible. I know that it is, and I feel like the worst kind of person for saying it. Michael has been wonderful. The kids love him, both of them, and he has spoiled Emily rotten. He's almost as bad as Andy and Dad. He's also been very supportive. I just feel like I've been under a microscope, and I would just like everything to get back to normal."

"It will." Vivy reached over and covered her daughter's hands. "Sharon, it will," she promised her. "I'm sure that it didn't help that both kids were sick for most of their visit. I know it's been a hectic few months. Things will get better. Carla may or may not come to care for you, but you can't worry about that. You have this little one to think about, and the two in the other room. Focus on the family that you're building here. She can only choose to be a part of that or not."

"I know." She attempted to relax. "I'm just…" She shook her head. It didn't help that her hormones and emotions were all over the place. "I'll be okay. We should get this wrapped up. If I timed everything right, we can get everything going, take the kids out, hunt the eggs… and they should be winding down from that and opening the other gifts by the time it's all ready."

"If you didn't," her mother told her, "then we will adjust. There's no rush, Sharon. It's going to be a lovely day."

"And if it all goes sideways," Sandra quipped, "we'll just distract the old bi—" She quickly amended her word usage when Sharon's mother arched a brow at her. "er… Andy's mother. We'll tell her that I'm dating again. That's bound to win you points and put me firmly in the doghouse."

"What?" Sharon's brows shot up. "You didn't tell me that!" She cast a quick look at the door before leaning forward. "Does Andy know?" There wasn't much that the two of them didn't tell each other. Sharon was sure that if he had known, he'd have told her by now.

"Of course not." Sandra smirked at her. "How insane do you think I am?" When her ex-husband's fiancée appeared to be thinking it over, her eyes narrowed. "Very funny, Sharon."

They got along well, but they had their moments too. Most people didn't understand how they could have the relationship that they did, but it was hard won. It was the kids that they did it for. Charlie deserved a relationship with his father, and once she got past her initial concerns, Sandra saw that Andy was a very good one. He stumbled. They all did. No one was born with a parenting guide built-in to their brains, but they all did the best they could. That meant swallowing their pride sometimes. Sandra had done that where Sharon was concerned, once she realized the other woman wasn't going anywhere. She came to understand that she had an ally. They could share the kids, and in doing so, they were well cared for. Two years worth of long talks, arguments, and compromises had brought them to this moment.

"You asked." Sharon smirked at her. "Come on, I need details here. If Andy is going to lose his mind, I'd like to be armed with ammunition to help push him over the edge!"

"Sharon Diane!" Her mother clucked her tongue at them. "Both of you are terrible." She drummed her nails against the counter. "Okay, hurry up and tell us, I don't think we have very long…"

"Well…" Sandra's blue eyes sparkled. "His name is David, and he's an engineer…"

The conversation turned toward dating and men as they worked to finish getting dinner on the stove or in the oven. They discussed sex and all of the other dangers and risks that came with playing the field as a single woman. Eventually, the conversation turned toward pregnancy and hormones.

"I almost attacked him this morning." Sharon studied the other two women. "It wasn't like this with Emily. I didn't want to be touched, or I just didn't care. I guess it didn't help that Jack wasn't around much or that he just wasn't enthused by any of it… but now I can't help myself. The man walked out of the bathroom in a towel and my hand to God…" She trailed off when Sandra bent over, laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. "It's not funny! This baby's first words are going to be _oh god, yes_!" She folded her arms over her chest at the other woman's continued mirth. "Your son just spent days oozing green snot all over me and you're laughing at me. I don't believe this."

"Oh sweetheart." Vivy rubbed her back. "We aren't laughing at you." Her hazel eyes were light, almost green with amusement. She was having a difficult time controlling her own laughter. "While I don't really need to hear the details, and I'm sure you don't want me to reciprocate, I can assure you, this is absolutely normal."

"Welcome to the second trimester." Sandra pressed the back of her hand against her mouth. She snorted a laugh at the look on the other woman's face. "I'm absolutely laughing _at_ you, just for the record."

Her face was bright red. Sharon covered her eyes. "I'm trying to have a moment here. I cannot believe that you both think this is funny. It can't be normal. Good heavens, if you only knew what we did in the laundry room last night…"

"I told you that you'd like having your own washer and dryer." Sandra reached over and picked up one of the broken slices of pineapple that had been left over. She popped it into her mouth with a smirk. "Enjoy this while it lasts, because it doesn't last long. In a couple of months, he's going to turn into pouting sixteen year old, because you aren't going to want him anywhere near you."

Sharon's lips pursed. "He does pout like a champ," she told her mother. "You know," she pointed a finger at them. "Now that I think about it, that is exactly how I got pregnant to begin with." She hummed. "Thanks, that helps a lot. I should have no problem controlling myself now."

"Sure." Sandra snorted. "For the next hour, at least." She wasn't entirely sure what Sharon tossed at her, but she dodged it.

The sound of their laughter had been echoing into the other rooms for a little while. Andy poked his head into the kitchen to see what was going on, after being elected as expendable by both his father and father-in-law. "Is it safe in here?"

"Probably not for you," Vivy drawled, much to the amusement of the others.

"Oh god," Sharon moaned quietly. She covered her face again when she felt it flush.

He blinked at them a few times. It took a minute for Andy to realize what they were talking about. When he did, his eyes went wide. "You told them!" The words were practically screeched. " _Sharon_!"

She rolled her eyes at him. Sharon turned and flattened her dress against her middle. "Honey, I think everyone knows _exactly_ what we've been up to."

Sandra tapped her bottom lip. She was studying her ex-husband with narrowed eyes. When he shifted uncomfortably, she looked at his future wife. "Sharon, does he still do that grunting thing where—"

"God almighty! Is nothing sacred?" Andy threw his hands in the air and quickly left the kitchen. The women dissolved into laughter again. Andy shook his head as he strode back into the living room. The others looked at him with puzzled expressions. "It's not safe to go in there. They've all lost their minds."

"Ah." Michael looked at Joseph. "They must be talking about him."

"In my experience," the other man nodded, "you are probably correct." Joseph leaned back in his chair. "We should probably just stay right here until we're called."

"That's a very good idea." Michael nodded. "Andy, you should join us. Trust me son, the kitchen is no place for any of us right now, and most especially not you."

Andy glared at both of them. He had a feeling they had known that _before_ they sent him in there to check on things. He sniffed as he reclaimed his spot on the sofa. He and Charlie were racing his son's new car around the living room. "Son, your old man just got set up. I promise never to do that to you."

The other men laughed. He would. They all did it. Just as they all endured it from those that had come before them. It was a bit of a right of passage.

The dinner preparation didn't take much longer. While the ham browned, and the other dishes cooked, they took the children outside to hunt for the plastic eggs that had been hidden by Andy and Michael earlier in the day. The rest of the day progressed with ease. The children enjoyed themselves, as did the adults.

Sharon's parents had chosen to go to a later mass, so that they could spend the day with their daughter and her family. They left not long after dinner, but would return the following day. They were planning to be in Los Angeles for at least a week, and there would be plenty of time to visit.

In the meantime, Sharon and Andy said goodbye to his parents. Their return flight to New York left early Monday morning. It was with some relief that Sharon got her house back. Her parents would stay at a hotel, which was their preference when visiting. They liked staying on the oceanfront, and would spend their time enjoying the city and each other as much as they would visiting with their daughter.

The low-key visit was exactly what she needed after a week with Andy's parents. She hated to begrudge him spending time with them; Sharon knew exactly how it felt to have so little family nearby. It was just important to her that they feel like their home was theirs, and that they were free to be themselves in it. Thankfully, Andy understood.

The tension with his mother had the power to break them apart. Sharon didn't know what she would do if their positions were reversed. She couldn't imagine her parents not liking him, but she could understand where the potential would have existed. It didn't matter, though. Rather than slide a wedge between them, Andy only held her closer. She didn't know what had gone on between him and his mother while his parents visited. That was the one thing he wouldn't tell her, and she wouldn't press him for details. Whatever it was, he was incredibly attentive after they left.

Sharon could only hope that as they moved forward, building a life together, whatever the ups and downs, and stressors in their lives, that Andy would feel as well loved as she did.

 **-TBC-**


	15. Chapter 15

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 15**

It was a cool night. The summer heat had given way with the setting of the sun, bringing relief as the temperature dipped into the sixties. Andy left Emily playing in the living room while he went in search of his fiancée. It would be time for bath and bed soon, but the three-year-old was content with putting together a large, wooden puzzle at the moment.

Andy was sure that he would know where to find Sharon, and moved through the kitchen to peek out at the backyard. He left the door open when he stepped outside to join her. They didn't have much of a porch, but they did have a back stoop. Andy stood there for a moment and watched his wife.

She was seated on the stone steps. Andy almost laughed. Instead of sitting in one of the patio chairs, she had taken the seat cushion out of it and was leaning against it. When he considered that she had ranted at him, just the day before, over the fact that their timing was abysmal with the heaviest and most uncomfortable part of her pregnancy happening during the hottest part of summer, Andy knew better than to actually let the sound pass his lips.

He sat down beside her on the step and leaned forward with his arms resting against his knees. He originally thought she was staring at the sky, he realized now that her eyes were closed. Andy tilted his head while he studied her. "That can't be that comfortable," he said.

"Hm." Sharon grunted at him. "It is. It really is. You have no idea. My back is so happy right now, I may never move again." Getting comfortable was almost impossible at this point in her life. She was enjoying it when and _where_ she could get it. Sharon's hand smoothed over her stomach. The baby was still, but that could change. He seemed to want to be the most active when she was trying to rest. "Shh," she cautioned her husband. "If he starts moving, this spot is blown, and my back really needs this right now."

Andy chuckled quietly. He couldn't help it. The porch step as an option for comfort was not something he had ever considered before. He certainly wasn't finding it very comfortable at the moment. Andy turned toward her and leaned back, an arm resting against the top of the step behind him. "This is a new level of desperation for you. What's next, the curb? Maybe we can prop a little pillow up against the mailbox, maybe get you one of those little kindergarten nap mat things."

His hand stretched out toward her, but Sharon smacked it away before he could touch her stomach. "Don't even think about it. You're going to wake him up. You always wake him up and I'm the one that ends up tossing and turning all night because _your_ son wants to stand on _my_ spleen. So hands off pal." She drew a breath and let it out slowly. "For the record, the curb might actually be next, if it's comfortable and I like it. At this point in my life, if it feels good, I might go sit in the middle of the street, or sleep in the car." He laughed again and she opened her eyes. Sharon glared at him. "This amuses you?"

His smile immediately vanished. Her voice had dropped an octave, taking on a level that he knew was dangerous. Her eyes were narrowed and now her lips were pursed. Andy heard the alarm bells go off in his head. It was time to retrace his steps and start climbing out of the hole that he had somehow stumbled in to. "No," he said quickly, "it's not amusing, it's just… cute," he finished with a shrug.

"Cute." Her brow rose. Sharon blinked at him a couple of times. "This is _cute_ to you," she said at length. "I can't remember the last time I was able to take a full, deep breath, without feeling like my insides were going to split open. Forget eating, that's a lost cause. I have embraced the fact that I am going to nibble all day like a little rabbit because your son thinks that mealtime is stretch time. What I would love to do, more than anything right now, is take a bath, but if I get in that tub, there's no way that we are getting me out of it again." His mouth opened, but she held up a hand, stopping any comment he might make. "My back hurts, my legs hurt, I'm exhausted, and for some reason that completely escapes me at the moment, I thought it would be a good idea to have a baby with a man who has the singular ability to produce the world's largest fetus, because I can't think of any other reason that I would be in the bathroom every ten minutes. Let's forget about all of that, however, because you think it's _cute_."

Andy waited after she had grown silent. She was still staring at him, but he counted the seconds. He wanted to make sure that she was really done. She continued to only stare at him, so Andy took a chance. He leaned forward. "Wow, you're beautiful." He kissed the corner of her mouth. "No woman has ever been more beautiful than you are, right this second."

Sharon groaned. She placed her hand against his face when he leaned in to kiss her again and pushed him away. "You're a jerk. I hate you." She rolled her eyes at him when he pouted. "That, that's why I hate you. Don't do that… don't give me those sad eyes. You're like a puppy. If I had a newspaper, I would smack you with it. Just get away from me." She pushed at his shoulder. "Go back in the house. Where is Emily?"

"She's good. She's just inside playing." Andy jerked his head toward the open door. "I'll take her up in a little bit. She's still working on that puzzle we found at the mall." They had gone to one of those trendy baby stores that seemed to be popping up all over the city. They had finally picked out a crib and a car seat, and now that Sharon was on maternity leave, the room beside Emily's was finally coming together and starting to look like a nursery. The puzzle they found while they were shopping was a pretty great visual depiction of the alphabet, with animals and objects to describe each letter. "I tried to help her," he told Sharon, "but she is stubborn. She's not going to stop until she gets it herself."

"That's good. I'm glad she's showing some independence. It's good for her to do things for herself. I just don't want her to feel like she has to." Sharon sighed. "We've been spending a lot of time getting ready for the baby, and in a few weeks, we're going to be spending a lot of time _with_ the baby."

"Em is not going to get lost in the shuffle," he told her. Andy leaned over and kissed her shoulder. "It's going to get crazy around here for a little while, but we've got it handled."

"I know." Sharon sighed. "I believe that. I remember what it felt like doing this with one, and we need to remember that it's not just going to just be two of them. We're going to have three. We have Charlie with us half the time. We have dance class and little league; Emily has preschool, and we're helping out more with PTA at Charlie's school. We're actually going from two to three and we should keep all that in mind."

Andy shifted on the step. He couldn't believe she was even remotely comfortable. Sitting there was killing his back, and the stone was hard against his ass. She was insane, he decided, but wisely kept it to himself. "You sound like you've been thinking about that a lot," he pointed out. "You don't have to worry. We'll make it work."

"I know we will." She shrugged. "But it's worth thinking about. We should talk about it too. We're going to have a lot going on. It's a busy year, and it's going to get even busier. We moved in to the house, and we've got this going on," she waved a hand at her stomach, "the car is on its last legs, and I don't even know why people say that, because cars don't have legs, but that's an entirely different tangent. We're going to have to get a new car, definitely something bigger, and that's going to set us back a little further on saving for a house. The plan was never to stay here long term, and I would really like for us to stick to that."

"We will," he said. Andy squinted at her. "Are you worried about money? Sharon, we're fine. We're more than fine. We've both worked really hard. We've got some savings, and we can handle this. I know you wanted to wait another week or two before starting the maternity leave gig, but it's really okay." They were getting closer to her due date, and the thought of going into labor at booking wasn't appealing to either of them. "I don't want you to worry about it. If money gets tight, for whatever reason, I can pick up a couple of extra shifts, but I don't think that's going to happen. I want you to enjoy this. Stay home with the kids, get ready for the baby, and just relax. You earned it."

"Earned it?" Her brows rose. "Wow. I haven't thought of it like that…" Sharon rubbed the side of her stomach again. "I've earned it. Yes, I like that." She tilted her head to the side and smiled at him. "Morning sickness and swollen ankles get you six weeks of time off work for naughty behavior. That's a good one." When he smiled, she rolled her eyes. "Don't look too pleased with yourself, you're still in that hole you dug for yourself earlier."

"I figured." Andy shook his head at her, but he grinned anyway. "Listen, I know it's getting close, and we're both getting kind of anxious about it, but it's all going to be okay. You're taking some time off, and it's good. We're going to have plenty of time to get all the scheduling with the kids figured out. The money thing is going to be fine too."

"I know." She sighed. "I just feel like we have a lot of balls in the air right now, and I don't want to drop any of them. I also don't want anyone to feel overwhelmed, least of all us, but especially the kids. Charlie is going back and forth, and Emily is here in the middle of it all. She's going to be in school next year, and I'm really thinking that I want to keep her at St. Joseph's. I like it, and the more I learn about their curriculum, the more I feel like it's a great school, and not just as a preschool or daycare program. That means paying for private school, but in the short term, when I do go back to work, we'll have two in daycare…"

She had started going to mass again the previous year. Sharon hadn't realized how much she missed church until she returned. Originally, it had only been about looking into daycare programs for Emily. Sharon had gone to St. Joseph's to get a feel for it, but had felt at peace there. Andy went to mass with her most Sundays, and Charlie had even joined them on several occasions. It was something that she was really feeling good about, especially now with the baby coming, and a marriage on the horizon.

"Why do I get the feeling that this isn't really about you being worried about being on leave for a while?" Andy asked her. He reached up and pushed her hair back over her shoulder. "What's really going on?"

"We haven't really talked about the family situation," Sharon told him. "We've got Charlie and Emily, and the new baby. We're getting married, and all of that is great. I am so happy."

"But?" Andy felt it coming. He sat up on the step and looked at her. His brows drew together in a frown. "Sharon, what is going on here?" She had gone from mildly amused, and somewhat annoyed with him, to absolutely pensive. He was used to the constant fluctuation in her moods, but this was different. "What is it that you're trying to tell me?"

She drew a breath and let it out slowly. "I just want to make sure that the decisions that we're making are the right decisions for everyone. I still intend to go back to work when my leave is over, this isn't a temporary situation." It seemed that neither of their sets of parents were keen on the idea, but she and Andy were not their parents. They were doing what they felt was right for them and their kids.

"I know that." Andy continued to stare at her. "Sharon, I'm not asking you to give up your job. I wouldn't do that. If you told me that you decided to not go back, that would be great too. We'd figure it out. What you want, that's all I care about. You like being a cop, and you're a damned good one. I'm not about to ask you to give that up, I know I couldn't do it. Why should you? Just because we're having a kid? That's stupid. We've already got kids. I mean," he ran a hand through his hair, "I know Charlie is mine, and Emily is yours, but we've been doing this sharing thing for a while now. You know? Even before we were living together, we were spending a lot of time with both the kids. I'm crazy about Em, you know that, and you're really great with Charlie too. Adding one more is no reason to make you give up something you really like." He paused for a minute. "I know that's what our folks did. I know that's what our folks are expecting us to do. But they aren't here. We can only do our thing. That's something else, too, you know… our folks had more kids than we do. More kids than maybe we should have."

Sharon's brows shot up. That wasn't exactly where she was expecting their conversation to go, but it was a talk that they were going to need to have at some point. She thought it might be a few months down the road, however. "All together," she questioned carefully, "or just you and I?" She shifted where she sat and turned toward him slightly. "I know we've been focused on just getting this one here, but if you're ready to have _this_ conversation, we can do that."

"Well," Andy hedged a bit. "Now might be a good time. You're obviously worried about how things are going to work out in a couple of months. So let's just put it out there. I don't think you should worry, because I think this should be it. Three kids are enough. You're not Charlie's mom, and I get that. You care about him, right?" He felt a little relief when she nodded. It was something he already knew, but at least he thought he was on the right track with what he was trying to tell her. "I don't really think of Emily as just yours anymore. Hell, I've known the monkey since she was barely walking… okay," he rolled his eyes at her snort, "she was older than that, but you get what I mean. It's been a couple of years, and we've been through it a little. That's still something that I want to make official, at some point after we make _us_ official, obviously. So yeah, like you said earlier, we've got two kids, and now the baby makes three. I know we didn't plan this, and it's great, I'm not saying it isn't. I'm thrilled that we are having this baby together. Three should be our number, that's what I'm trying to say."

She was only mildly surprised by that. They had both come from larger families, but that didn't automatically mean it was what they wanted for themselves. "So what we're saying is that we don't want anymore kids. You're good with things exactly as we have them. You and me, Charlie, Emily, and… whatever we name this child, that's it. That is all that we want. Is that the conversation?"

"Well, yeah," he told her. "That's what I'm saying. If…" Andy studied her closely, "if that's what you want too? I mean, I'm not saying that's how it _has_ to be. I'm just thinking… oh hell." Andy sighed. He was trying to be careful and sensitive of her moods and emotions, but that was just making it harder. "Sharon. I've run the numbers too. Three kids on a cop's salary is good, we can handle that. Even with the new car, and saving for a house, private school if that's really what you want to do. Dance and baseball, and whatever this kid wants to do; but this isn't an ultimatum."

"I know that." She reached out and rubbed his arm before he could worry himself into an agitated state. "No, I agree with you. I've been thinking about it too. I just… well, I thought we'd wait until this one got here before we talked about it, make sure that we were both on the same page. Obviously, I figured we'd give it a few months, let the sleep deprivation start to wear off so that we weren't making any decisions in our delirium." At some point during their conversation, the baby had started moving again. Sharon smoothed the spot where he kicked. "I didn't want to bring it up now, because I know that I'm miserable. I'm glad that we're doing this too, and it's been a great experience. I don't want to do this again." She smiled at him. "I really don't. It isn't only about how uncomfortable I feel right now. I feel like three kids is just… it's enough. You're right, Charlie isn't mine, but he's yours, and just like Emily, he's a part of this family that we're putting together. A family with three kids is plenty. I think we are definitely on the same page about that. I want to talk about it again, though, in a few months. Make sure that we are still on that page together. Then we'll figure out how we keep it at three."

"Yeah…" Andy nodded. "I don't want you to just agree because of the hormones and swollen ankles. So let's do that. We'll talk about it again in a few months."

"Good." Her back arched and she exhaled a long breath. "Now, get me up. Your son is awake and he's starting his stretching routine." Sharon held out her arms and wriggled her fingers. "I'm not kidding," she said when he laughed, "let's go, this hurts."

"Okay, alright." Andy stood up and took her arms. He gave them a tug as she heaved herself up. He winced in sympathy at her groan. "Do you think he's doing it on purpose? Maybe we should ground him for the first few weeks of his life." His hands moved to her stomach, and sure enough, he could feel it bulging a little to one side. Andy rubbed the spot. "Hey, knock it off, son. Making your mother insane is my job."

"You do it exceptionally well, too." Sharon smacked his hands away from her and turned. "You got me pregnant, and now you're making jokes about the level of discomfort that I feel. That's… that's wonderful. Good job, Andrew." She stepped around the chair cushion and moved up the steps. "Can you put that back," she said, waving at it, "I'm going to check on Emily, and waddle myself to the bathroom."

Andy's head dropped back. He stared at the sky. "I love her," he said quietly, "I love her, I love her…" He nodded to himself with that reminder and picked up the chair cushion. He tossed the chair cushion onto the lawn chair that it had come from and started inside. Andy only made it a few steps before he sighed and turned around. He walked back over and arranged the cushion so it was just as it had been before Sharon decided to use it. He shook his head as he went back inside. The one thing he was learning about living with her was that she liked having everything its rightful place.

She drove him absolutely nuts, but there was no one that he had ever loved more. Whatever it took to make her happy, that was all he wanted. They also had to be realistic, and it was a relief that they could be, even with all the future plans that they were making. Life was good, and with any luck, it would only get better.

 **-TBC-**


	16. Chapter 16

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 16**

Andy eased quietly into the house and locked the door behind him. The first floor was dark and quiet. A light had been left on in the foyer, and he turned it off after dropping his keys on a table by the door. It was late, well after midnight, and he should have been home hours ago. A stakeout had gone south and he had gotten held up with the aftermath and paperwork. No one had gotten hurt, thankfully, but there had still been a mess to clean up.

He tripped over a toy as he crossed the living room, and swore when he almost went down. Andy's hand landed against the floor, while his hip knocked against a table. He reached out quickly and managed to keep it from toppling over. Then he held his breath and listened. A few seconds went by, and when no one stirred, he exhaled quietly.

He raked a hand over his face and flipped on a lamp near the sofa. Soft light flooded the living room. There were toys strewn across the floor, and he took a couple of minutes to pick them up before making sure the house was locked up tight. He turned the light off again before heading upstairs.

Checking on the kids was something that he always did before retiring for the night, especially if he was the last one in. Since it was the middle of the week, Charlie was with his mom, so he passed his son's room and quietly opened the door to Emily's. She was sprawled out on her stomach with an arm draped over her stuffed monkey; his girl was sound asleep and completely oblivious to the world around her. He smiled as he closed the door again.

Andy's feet felt heavy as he moved across the hall; fatigue was weighing him down. His body ached with it. The muscles in his back and shoulders were stiff. He rolled his neck on his shoulders as he slipped into the room that he shared with Sharon. He wasn't getting a lot of sleep lately, and there was a very good reason for it.

A single lamp had been left on in the bedroom. It cast the room in soft, dim light. The bedroom door closed behind him with a quiet click. Andy walked to the closet where he toed out of his shoes and shrugged out of his jacket. He loosened his tie while he stood there, and turned to look at the bed. A smile tugged at his mouth, and eased the drawn, tired lines that had been carved into his face. Sharon was lying on her back, face turned toward the middle of the bed while she slept. In the soft light from the lamp, her hair was shining, while her skin held a healthy glow. He knew that she was as tired as he was, but she was beautiful, and looked completely at peace.

The reason for their lack of sleep was lying on her chest. He had his knees tucked under his body, and his bottom in the air. His eyes were closed, and from where Andy stood, he could see the baby's back rising and falling with each breath. One of his little hands was fisted around the shirt that Sharon had gone to bed in. Andy pulled his tie over his head and tossed it toward a chair in the corner of the room. His shirt followed it a couple of seconds later.

Richard William Flynn was only five days old, and it was just his second day at home. Andy hated that he'd been called back in to work so soon, but he had managed to at least spend that first day at home with Sharon and the baby, after spending three days with them at the hospital.

Andy mused on that as he made his way into the bathroom for a quick shower. Their son hadn't been in any great hurry to join them. Sharon had gone well over a week past her due date, and had been in labor for seventeen hours before Ricky finally decided to grace them with his presence. He came in to the world screaming his displeasure for having been disturbed. He was healthy and whole, but built in long lines like his father, and Andy was convinced the baby had his temper too.

He only spent a couple of minutes in the shower. Andy wanted to wash off the day before joining Sharon in bed. He dried off quickly and pulled on a clean pair of boxer shorts and nothing else before climbing into bed. He sighed as he stretched out on his back. He could feel muscles loosening and tension flowing out of him. Andy lay there for a minute before he rolled onto his side.

Sharon was resting with a hand lying against the baby's back. He smiled as he watched them. Ricky's mouth was working, suckling around a pacifier while he slept. Andy reached over and gently stroked his fingers over the soft down of dark hair that covered his head.

"Shh." Sharon crooned, without opening her eyes. "Don't wake him," she whispered, "he doesn't like it."

Soft laughter rumbled quietly in his chest. That was definitely his temper. Andy pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispered back, "go back to sleep."

"I was waiting for you." Her eyes fluttered open. A soft smile touched her lips. Sharon lifted her hand toward him and stroked the back of it across his chest. "You look tired."

"So do you." He took her hand and lifted it to his mouth. He kissed her fingers. "Have I mentioned you're beautiful?"

"Liar." Beautiful was the last thing that she felt at the moment. Sharon was pretty sure that she had forgotten how that felt; it had been a while, a couple of months at least.

"S'not a lie," he mumbled. Andy slipped a hand across her waist, below Ricky's feet. He let his thumb stroke across the baby's tiny toes. He had almost told Provenza to go to hell when he called him that morning. He hated the idea of leaving Sharon home with both kids, when she was just a couple of days post-delivery. He knew her folks were planning to visit soon, but Vivy and Joseph had wanted to give them some time to get settled before descending upon them. His parents were making some noise about coming out too, but Andy had put them off. He didn't want Sharon feeling too crowded. He hoped he could buy her a few more weeks, at least. "How did he do today?"

"Not bad." Her eyes closed again. Sharon stroked the baby's back when he began to stir. She glanced at the clock. It was just about time for another feeding. "He doesn't like me," she confessed with a small smile. "I think there's some separation resentment. Even when he's nursing, he just scowls at me, like he knows that it's all my fault that he got booted to the outside."

Ricky began to grunt and whine, as if on cue. Andy chuckled quietly. He reached over and drew the baby away from his mother. "No, I don't think that's true." He settled the baby against his own chest, one hand cupping his bottom and the other behind his head. "Are you giving your mom a hard time? We're going to have to talk about that, son. That's my job." He watched a scowl form between the baby's brows. Ricky stretched his long fingers out, then curled them inward and started to mewl his displeasure. Those little sounds, quiet at the moment, and seeming so delicate, would grow to angry cries if he didn't get what he wanted soon. Andy winced as those tiny fingers dug into his chest. "You know, babe, we could be screwed. I'm not sure he likes me either."

Sharon eased herself up in the bed. She winced as she got settled with her back against the headboard. She had gone to bed in one of Andy's shirts, because it was loose and comfortable, and she could open it easily. Sharon loosened a couple of the buttons and opened the shirt before holding out her arms for the baby. She lifted him away from his father before he could become too unhappy and cuddled him close. "It's tough," she said, "being such a tiny boy and having to get used to the big, bright, noisy world."

"Ah." Andy propped himself up with his head in his hand. He kissed her bent knee. "Then it's not us that he doesn't like. That's a relief."

"No," she crooned. Sharon swayed as the baby nursed. She stroked his soft head. "He's much too sweet for that." She watched him, a smile curving her lips. Beside her, she was aware that Andy was beginning to doze. He was as tired as she was. She reached over and stroked his arm. "Your mother called," she told him.

"Oh god." Andy turned his face into the pillow. "I'm sorry?" He didn't know that he really needed to apologize, but at this point, it was almost instinctual to do so. He sighed before lifting his head. "What did she say?"

"Not much," she assured him. "She just wanted to check on the baby." It wasn't at all lost on Sharon that Carla had called specifically to ask about Ricky. "Did we know that they're coming in on Saturday?" That was only a day away. They weren't going to have much time to get ready.

"What?" Andy sat up. "No. We did not." He glowered. "I told them to wait." He covered his face. His jaw clenched. "Dammit." The tension he thought had left quickly returned. "I specifically told her to give it a couple of weeks." Andy lay down on his back and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"I know." She rubbed his arm again. "Andy, I was there when you spoke to her. Even if I wasn't, I know that you tried to put it off. It's okay, honey. It is what it is." She thought that part of it was competition with her parents. Carla didn't want Ricky's other grandparents meeting him before she could. "I hate to do this, but can we get them to stay—"

"At a hotel? Hell yeah." Andy sat up beside her. He stacked a couple of pillows behind him. "Come here." He motioned for her to scoot over and lean against him. He knew that she was sore, but she would rest a lot better while she nursed if she had more support against her back. "They don't have a lot of choice," he continued speaking as they got her situated. "We don't have a guest room anymore."

Technically, Ricky was sleeping in the bassinet in their room, at least until he was a little bit older, but the room that Andy's parents had stayed in during their last visit had always been intended for the nursery. They had only furnished it, initially, because they had the second bedroom set. All of that was in storage now, and had been replaced with baby furniture.

Ricky didn't appreciate being disturbed while he ate. He squawked unhappily and rooted until his mother was settled and he was able to latch on again. She rubbed his back, soothing him, and leaned against her lover's chest. Sharon hummed, as she got comfortable, and laid her head against the crook of Andy's neck. "Yes," she said quietly, "there is some truth to that, but you know that we could shuffle things around if we had to, and the sofa folds out… I just don't feel like having guests right now. I'm really sorry, Andy. I just don't." Sharon would be equally unenthused if it were her parents. The idea of having people in the house while she was trying to get settled with a new baby just did not appeal. She felt exhausted, unattractive, and she was still very sore. That wasn't going to change much before his parents arrived.

"I know." He also knew what it cost her to admit it. She tried very hard to keep the peace with his mother. She was polite and gracious. She remembered birthdays, and she sent cards for anniversaries, all of which she would sign his name to because he always forgot. She reminded him to call his parents once a week, and when he couldn't, she did. "It's okay, Sharon. I understand. I'm not upset about it. I am," he told her, "but not because of what you said. I'm upset with Ma for pushing. I don't want them here either. Hell, we switched weekends with Sandra, so that we would have another week before we had to factor Charlie into everything." His ex-wife had brought his son to the hospital so that he could meet his new brother, and Andy had driven out to see him before Sharon and Ricky were released from the hospital, specifically because he knew it was going to be a few days before his son could visit again. Sandra understood why they were delaying; she remembered what it was like bringing home a newborn. "I'll call my folks in the morning," he promised her. "Maybe I can talk her out of it."

Sharon snorted. She didn't see that happening anytime soon. Carla Flynn was a force to be reckoned with, particularly when she had her druthers up about something. "Andy, you know that I would never dream of keeping your parents away from their grandson—"

"Shh." He his hands stroked her arms. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. "I know that. Shit, Sharon… Of course you wouldn't." They had even talked about visiting New York when Ricky was a little older. Sharon had suggested going to see his parents for Christmas, if they could both get the time off from work. "It's okay," he told her. The last thing he wanted was to have her upset about this. "We'll fix it, and if we can't, we'll make it work."

"I love you," she pressed a kiss to the curve of his jaw. "I know I'm tired, and I'm still very emotional, and I probably sound like the worst kind of shrew, but… I need to get the kids settled before any of them descend on us," and that included her parents. Sharon had thought she would have enough time to get comfortable with Ricky, and to make sure that Emily was comfortable, and then Charlie… and finally they would have other members of their family begin to visit.

"Nope." He turned his face into her hair. His lips were gentle against the side of her head. "You sound like a mom that's got a new baby. I'm not upset with you, Sharon. That, I can promise you. Do what you need to do. I'll take care of the rest. That's what I'm here for. We're in this together, remember?"

"Yes." She settled against him with a sigh, finally managing to relax. "You're very good at this, you know." He had been worried that he wouldn't be. He wasn't around much when Charlie was born, and when he was at home, he was intoxicated or dealing with a hangover. She was really proud of him.

"Yeah." He grinned. Andy leaned his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes. "So are you. I think we're doing okay so far. What do you think Ricky?" The baby didn't do more than continue to grunt while he suckled. "I think he agrees." They were doing the best they could. They didn't have a manual, and it was entirely possible that the decisions they were making weren't the right ones, but everything that they were doing was right for them. "Take a nap," he told her. "I've got you."

"What about you?" She asked. Sharon worried about him working on so little sleep. "I would really rather you get some rest. I can nap during the day while the kids are asleep, you don't have that luxury, honey."

"I'm okay," he promised her. "Come on." He continued to stroke her arm and her side. "You're the one that just pushed an eight-pound human out of your body. If anyone deserves to sleep, here, it's definitely you."

She chuckled quietly. "Since I know that attitude will probably change in a couple of days," she drawled, "I am going to take you up on the offer."

"Yeah, it's already slipping away," he quipped. "Going once, going twice…" She dug her elbow into his stomach and he grinned. "Go to sleep, Sharon."

"You really do not have to tell me twice," she said, yawning as she spoke. "I'll put him in the bassinet when he's done. We might both manage a nap."

"Mmhm." Andy was half asleep while he sat there. Her words weren't making a lot of sense anymore. They both dozed while the baby nursed. When he seemed to have gotten his fill, Sharon slipped out of the bed to lay him in the baby bed on her side of the room. She turned off the lamp before climbing back into bed beside Andy. They only had a couple of hours before Ricky would be waking them up again, so they availed themselves of the precious silence.

 **MCMCMCMCMCMC**

"Why are you feeding that baby with a bottle?"

By Sunday afternoon, Andy was wishing they could have the silence back. His mother had flown in the day before. She had not heeded his warning. His father, who was unable to get the time off from work on such short notice, was unable to join her, so Carla was by herself on this visit west. Andy was really wishing that his dad could have made the trip, if for no other reason than so he could have an ally.

His mother was unhappy with him for trying to make her stay home, and Sharon was annoyed at him for going back on their decision to put her in a hotel. Andy just couldn't see sending his mother off alone, in a city she wasn't familiar with, to stay by herself at the hotel. He put her in Charlie's room instead. His mom had not even been with them for an entire day yet, and already their house felt like it had been turned upside down.

Some of that, he knew, was because of the baby. Andy looked at Ricky, who was red faced and crying his displeasure. He didn't like the bottle that Andy was trying to give him. "I don't blame you," he said, "I'd rather have mom too." He bounced the baby in his arms and tried to coax him to latching on again. "He's getting a bottle because his mom is laying down with Emily," he told his mother. "When she goes back to work, he's going to be getting a bottle at daycare, so we're getting him used to that now. It also lets me take some of his feedings so Sharon's not doing it all. It's breast milk, it tastes like mom, but it doesn't feel right, does it buddy?"

Carla shook her head at him from where she stood, folding baby blankets beside the sofa. From the way that Andy had spoken on Friday, she really had not expected to find the house in such disarray when she arrived. He made it sound as though they had everything under control, but Carla was finding that to not be the case. "So then, she's set on going back to work?"

"As soon as her maternity leave is up," Andy said. "I'd like her to take a few months off, and I know she wants to do that too, but we need the money. My car is about to die. It's been on its last legs for a while, and between that and the medical bills, we can use the extra income. Sure, we could figure it out if we had to…" He trailed off when Ricky finally latched on and started taking the bottle. Sharon had been right. When the baby was hungry enough, he would take it. "There, it's not so bad is it?" He grinned at the scowl that formed between the baby's brows.

"You know, Andrew," Carla sighed, "I really do not understand why the two of you insist on choosing the most difficult path. Surely you have to agree that it would be better for Richard to have his mother at home for a few months. The first year would be even better. For that matter, that baby is going to get confused going back and forth between the breast and the bottle. You should choose one and stick to it."

He rolled his eyes; he really wasn't able to stop himself. "Ma. Stop it. We've got this under control. It's not our first kid. We know what we're doing. It might not look like that right now, but guess what, Ricky hasn't even been home for a week yet. We've got plenty of time to get everything sorted out before Sharon has to go back to work. If you wanna help while you're here, that's great, but we're not changing our minds."

"At least tilt his head up a little more," Carla instructed. "He'll be unhappy in a little while with all the air that he's getting right now." She didn't agree with them, but she knew that her son was stubborn. She would let it go, for now anyway. When her son shifted the baby so that he was laying at more of an incline, she nodded. "Under control, you say?" She smiled at him.

"Well it has been a while," Andy made a face at her. "Charlie is almost seven. I'm still on a little bit of a learning curve here." His head inclined, he watched his mother while she folded the baby's laundry. Sharon had intended to get to that later, but that would be one less thing to deal with. "Just so you know, Sharon is kind of figuring things out too. She didn't have a lot of help when she had Em. Her ex wasn't really in the picture, and that was before he took off. She had to do all of this pretty much by herself the last time, so go a little easy on her, okay? She's not struggling, Ma, she's just prioritizing. We just got Ricky home from the hospital, don't try and tell me that you had everything figured out on day one."

"Well no," Carla laughed. "Of course I didn't, but I had a little more help than you do. My mother stayed with us for a couple of weeks when each of you were born, don't you remember?" He was her second child, and she thought he might recall having his grandmother around when his sisters were born. "I find it hard to believe that you and Sharon don't want as much help as you can get right now. I appreciated it, especially when I had other kids to take care of too."

"It isn't that we don't appreciate it." Andy rolled his eyes at her again. "But grandma didn't live that far away. If you needed more help after she went home, it's not like she couldn't pop over for an hour or two." When Ricky spit the bottle out, he lifted the baby onto his shoulder. Andy stood up and walked around with him while he rubbed his back to burp him. "Yeah, okay, living out here is our choice, but that doesn't change the fact that you guys are on the other side of the country. This is our family, and we've got to make it work. That doesn't mean doing everything that you did, or that Sharon's folks did. That means doing what we have to do for us. We wanted to catch our breath and figure things out before we introduced this little guy to everyone, that's all." He smirked at her. "Besides, aren't you the one always telling all us kids that it was _a different time back then_ ," he mocked her as he walked a circuit of the living room.

"Don't sass your mother, Andrew Michael." She gave his arm a swat as he moved past her. "It was a different time, but it hasn't been so long that I don't remember what it's like to take care of a new baby. I never said that Sharon couldn't handle everything. There's nothing at all wrong with admitting that she's overwhelmed. That's why I'm here."

Andy bit back the groan, but only narrowly. He shook his head and continued to pace the room while he burped the snoozing baby. "Geez, ma. She's not overwhelmed. Can you give it a rest? I love you, and I'm sure that you mean well, but Sharon's my wife. I'm going to take her side."

"You're not married yet," Carla reminded him, and not for the first time. She was beginning to think that these young people just didn't take marriage as seriously as they should. "One of these days, the two of you will understand the difference between independence and arrogance."

He decided not to touch that one; instead, Andy just smirked at her. "Yeah, well, the thing is, we kind of are. Married, I mean." They weren't planning on telling anyone about it yet, but he'd had it with his mother. If she thought Sharon was going anywhere, she could now put her mind to something else. They were packaged now, signed, sealed, and delivered, as far as he was concerned. "We did it at the hospital before Ricky was born. I had a minor freak-out at the last minute." It was last minute nerves, fear that something would happen to Sharon and he wouldn't have the rights he needed to take care of the kids. It wasn't the most romantic suggestion that he'd ever had, but she had indulged him. They managed to squeeze it in before things got too exciting or busy. Andy was still going to give her the wedding that she deserved, but the deed was done.

"Oh Andrew!" Carla dropped the blanket in her hands and turned to stare at him. "You got married in a hospital, without even a single member of your family there? Have you lost your mind?" She couldn't fathom what that young man was thinking or why he was so determined to keep making the decisions that he was.

"Probably." He grinned at her. Andy stopped and swayed. Ricky seemed perfectly content on his shoulder, and he decided to enjoy it. "I mean, I know I'm crazy about her, so yeah… the rest of my mind is probably gone too. Who can blame me? She's a catch. I wanted to get it done before she came to her senses and drop kicked me outta here. I could've chosen a better location, and I'm going to make that up to her, just as soon as we're able. We'll still do the wedding thing, you know, with the family and a priest, if she can get an annulment. Hell, we'll do it with her dad, and get it blessed later if we can; she deserves that much. She deserves a lot more than that, if you want to get honest about it. I love her, Ma. I know that you don't like her, but she's the one."

"I never said that I didn't like her." Carla made a face at him. "I do believe that there are other decisions that you could have made." He was right, though, it was done now. He might have managed to get himself divorced the first time around, but Carla was not a big proponent of that. She wasn't going to suggest that he break a marriage that he'd just created. No, Andrew was going to have to stick it out and make it work. She sighed. "I hope for your sake, Andy, that the two of you know what you're doing, I really do."

"So do we. We don't know everything, but we're doing the best we can. So, you know, maybe you can be a little nicer?" He turned sideways, so that she had a better view of the baby's face. "Come on, Ma, how can you not adore someone when you look at that face? Check out what she did. Sharon did all the work, I was just the wingman."

Carla rolled her eyes at him. She couldn't help but smile. "He is certainly a very handsome baby." She laid a hand against the sleeping infant's tiny head. "Where did you get the name? I know you said William came from Sharon's father, but Richard, that's interesting." Michael had already been used a few times, both as Andrew's middle name, and her eldest daughter had given it to her son, when he was born. She thought that they had decided on Joseph, or some variation, or at least that was one of the names that Andy had mentioned.

He grew solemn for a moment. His lips brushed against the baby's soft brow. "There was an incident at work a couple of years ago, not long after Sharon and I started dating. We were both on night shift, that was back when I was doing all those extra patrol shifts, you remember?" He had told his parents about it. When his mother nodded, he continued. "Sharon and her partner, a Sergeant that she worked with when she rode nights, responded to a call at a grocery store. Hell, we all ended up there. It was a cluster; some panicked kid had hit the silent alarm. Anyway, right after I left, a group of morons looking to make a name for themselves in their gang drove by and decided to take some shots at the cops that were gathered in the parking lot. A couple of people died. Her partner was one of them. Sergeant Richard Anderson. He was a good cop, and a really good guy," he said quietly.

She was reminded, again, just how dangerous a job that her son had chosen. Carla looked away for a moment. "I wish you'd find something safer to do with your life, Andrew. I worry about you." She smiled sadly at him. Her gaze dipped to the baby and the smile gentled. "It's a very good name."

"Yeah. We thought so too." Andy rubbed the baby's back again. "I'm going to take this guy upstairs and put him down. I think I'll check on my girls while I'm up there. When I come back, we can make some lunch."

"Don't worry about it," Carla told him. "I can take care of lunch. While I'm here, I think I'll put together a few things that you can freeze, so you and Sharon won't have to worry about dinner after I've gone home. Go on," she nodded toward the stairs. "I'll just finish this up first."

It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her, again, that she didn't have to do it, but Andy decided to let her have this one. If his mother wanted to help out, he would let her. He pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Thanks, ma." He left her with the small basket of Ricky's laundry and made his way upstairs. Emily was napping in her bed, but he was surprised to find Sharon seated on their bed folding a stack of baby clothes that she had brought up earlier. "I thought you were going to take a nap?"

"Hm." She watched him put Ricky in the bassinet beside the bed and smiled. "I decided that I wanted a shower more than I wanted a nap." The baby hadn't been home long enough to generate much laundry, but she was trying to stay on top of it.

"I wondered why you didn't pounce on me when Ricky kept crying." Andy grinned at her. He walked over and sat down in front of her, the laundry between them, and started helping her fold.

Her eyes widened and she looked at the baby. He seemed to be sleeping just fine now. "Is he okay?"

"Yes." Andy reached out and grabbed her arm before she could get up. "Sharon, he's fine. He just didn't like the bottle, or me for trying to give it to him, that's all. You usually sweep in and rescue him after a couple of seconds."

"I do not." She sniffed at him. Her chin lifted in defiance, but she knew that he was probably correct. For all that she told him that Ricky would be okay, and would take the bottle eventually, she didn't like to hear her baby cry. When Andy laughed at her, she tossed a sleeper at him. "Shut up. Jerk."

"Such language," he teased. "Do you kiss your husband with that mouth?" Andy leaned across the short expanse of mattress between them to kiss her. Her long hair was wrapped up in a bun on top of her head. They had already discovered that Ricky could get his fingers into it with ease, and he would pull it without meaning to.

"Mmhm." She smiled against his lips. "And he usually likes it when I do, so he'd better be nicer," she teased.

"Bossy." Andy leaned back. He picked up the sleeper she tossed at him and folded it. "I told mother," he said. "You know, about that part."

Sharon's brow arched. "Which part? Specifically?" She had a feeling that she knew what he was trying to tell her, but she wanted him to actually say it.

"Oh, you know, the thing about us. You and me, and a couple of vows we took. I thought it would help," he shrugged. "I know we're not really planning on telling people yet, but I thought she should know that she wasn't just dealing with a girlfriend. She needs to start getting it into her head that you're family."

"Andy, I don't mind that you told your mother." She smiled at him. "But I am sorry that I wasn't there to see the look on her face." Her eyes glittered. They had already discussed what they thought their parents might say or think about their decision. Getting married now wasn't that much of a stretch from what they already planned to do. "What did she say?"

"That I'm a lucky bastard and I should thank God that you finally agreed to—" She threw another sleeper at him and he shook it at her. "You're going to wake up the baby. I don't know why you're always saying that Emily and I need to remember that there's a sleeping infant in the house, you're just as bad as we are."

" _Andrew_." Her eyes narrowed at him.

He arched a brow at her. "Yes, _Sharon_."

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds. Andy tossed the sleeper back at her. "She wished us well," he said with a shrug. "She said more than that, but I'm not going to get into it. You know, she doesn't hate you."

"Of course she doesn't." Sharon didn't believe him. She folded the sleeper and placed it on the small stack that she had created. When she was finished, she stood up and carried them over to their dresser. Most of Ricky's clothes and necessities were in the nursery, but they were keeping a small collection in their room for convenience.

Andy followed her. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and drew her against his chest. His lips were gentle against the curve of her neck. "I really think she doesn't," he rumbled quietly. "As long as she's nice, and she doesn't make you feel uncomfortable in your own home, I'm going to call it a win. Okay?"

"Okay." She covered his hands where they rested against her waist. Sharon couldn't ask for more than that. It was all that she wanted too. She leaned against his chest. "The kids are both going to be down for a little while. How would you like to take a nap with me?"

"You have all the best ideas," he told her. "Ma is going to take care of some stuff downstairs for us. She said she'd handle lunch too." He felt her grow tense and kissed her neck again. "Sharon, let her help. That's why she's here." Even if they hadn't wanted her to visit yet, they might as well take advantage of it.

"I know. You're right." It was just unsettling. She turned in his embrace and wrapped her arms around his waist. Sharon smiled up at him. She hadn't been this close to him in a while, not since Ricky had really started growing and her middle expanded to accommodate him. "Hi there."

"Hey beautiful." He dropped a light kiss to her lips. "Wanna climb in bed with me?" His brows bobbed for just the right affect.

"You have no idea how much." She laughed quietly. Sharon let Andy pull her toward the bed, where they both lay down and got comfortable. It didn't take either of them long to fall asleep.

When Ricky woke up a little while later, Andy got him, and brought him to the bed with them. It didn't surprise him when Emily wandered in. She had been awake, and playing quietly in her room, like she normally did after a nap. She crawled up onto the bed with them. She was still regarding her new brother as a small intruder, but she was getting used to him. "Hey baby girl." Andy tucked her against him and continued to lightly doze.

"I'm not the baby," Emily pouted at him. "Ricky is the baby."

"That's true, but you're still my monkey girl, aren't you?" He lifted his head into his hand. Andy smiled down at her.

"I guess." Emily rolled onto her side, facing her mother. She watched her with the baby and her nose wrinkled. "I want a puppy," she told them.

"I know you do," Andy said, "but right now, we've got a little brother. Let's get used to him first, then we can talk about adding anymore animals to the family."

Emily giggled. It was the response that he wanted. "He's not an animal. He's a baby!"

"I don't know." Andy shook his head. "He gets awfully smelly. Animals are smelly. Are you sure he's a baby?"

"Yes!" She giggled again when he tickled her.

Sharon smiled at the sound of her laughter. Having a new brother was a big adjustment, but her daughter seemed to be more or less okay. Sharon met Andy's gaze over the top of Emily's head. Her head tilted and her brow arched. She couldn't quite read the look in his eyes. "What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "Just happy." There were moments, like that one, when he still couldn't believe how lucky he had gotten. Andy rolled off the bed a second later and took Emily with him. He tossed her into the air before draping her over his shoulder. "We're going to go check out the food situation. Come down when you get done."

"We will." Sharon watched them go. She shook her head a moment later and looked down at the baby. "Someday, your dad is going to understand that there's not a lot that he can do to make me stop loving him." She took one of the baby's hands and held it. Her thumb stroked over his tiny, long fingers. Sharon heard a loud, happy squeal from downstairs. "It's a good thing you aren't napping." She stood up with Ricky in her arms and decided that she had better join them, before her husband and her daughter managed to destroy the place. She draped a receiving blanket over her shoulder before leaving the room and went in search of the rest of her family.

Her relationship with Andy wasn't perfect, there were moments when they didn't get along very well, but she did love him, and she always felt loved _by_ him. They agreed on all of the important things, like putting the kids first and making sure they were all happy and safe. As long as they could find a way to make everything else work, including unexpected visits by his mother, nothing else mattered.

 **-TBC-**


	17. Chapter 17

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 17**

"I can't believe they want us to study all of this." Andy stared at the books that Sharon placed in front of him. They were seated at the table in the kitchen, while their dinner warmed in the oven. Emily had already eaten and gone to bed, finally back on a regular schedule after the introduction of Ricky to their lives. Andy had gotten home late, and Sharon had decided to wait on him. Now as their dinner was reheated, they decided to get started on prepping for Andy's sergeant exam. Sharon had already taken it and the books in front of him were hers. Andy shook his head. "Why am I doing this again?"

"Only you can answer that." She had Ricky seated in her lap. The baby was looking around the kitchen with wide eyes while she held him. She had one hand beneath his chin, supporting his neck while her other rubbed his back in slow circles. Andy had gone back and forth about that exam for a few months, before finally deciding that he was going to take it. She had a couple of weeks of maternity leave left in which to get him started with studying for the test. "I know that it looks like a lot, honey, but you already know most of that. The rest is all precedent and applying current laws to real-time situations. Some of it is managerial; but we'll go over the parts you need to know for the test."

It just looked overwhelming. He wasn't a terrible student, but he had been out of school for a long time. "I guess I'm lucky that you already took it." He wasn't looking to climb ranks, but the only way to really make sure that there was advancement at the department was to take the exam, and pass it. "You made it all look so easy," he told her.

"It is," Sharon promised him. "Andy, you're every bit as capable of doing this as I am. We'll go through the material, and you'll register for the exam. It will all be great."

When the phone rang, Andy stood up to answer it. "That better not be Provenza," he said. "The old bastard has been in a mood ever since his wife left him. It's like the rest of us aren't allowed to be happy either."

Sharon lifted Ricky onto her shoulder. "Oh god," she laughed. "How many is that now? What is he, a serial husband?"

"Probably. It was still his third. He was with her longer than any of us thought he would be. I say give it a couple of months and he'll bounce back. According to him," Andy lifted the phone off the hook, "he's always on the lookout for the future ex-Mrs. Provenza."

"Well, never let it be said that he hasn't been successful," she drawled.

"I am not coming back to work," Andy said into the phone, by way of greeting.

"Dad?"

Charlie's voice came through the phone, instead of the one that he was expecting. Andy looked at his watch. "Hey buddy," he turned so that he was looking at Sharon and mouthed his son's name. "It's kind of late, what's up?" It was after Charlie's usual dinnertime. By his estimation, his son should have been in the bath and headed toward bed.

"Hey dad," Charlie spoke a little tentatively. "Can you come over?"

Andy's brows rose at the question. It wasn't unusual for Charlie to call and ask to come over, or even ask his dad to stop by. He typically did it earlier in the day, though. "I'd like to, son, but it's late. Shouldn't you be getting off to bed? Maybe I can drop by tomorrow, after work, if I get out of there early enough."

"I really want you to come over tonight," he said, and lowered his voice. "Mom and David got into a fight and now she won't come out of her room."

Hairs on the back of his neck stood up. Andy felt his back tense as he straightened. "Okay pal. Is he still there?" He was trying to stay calm, even as his hand gripped the phone tightly. He cast a look at Sharon, and wasn't surprised when she stood and joined him. A line had formed between her brows, but she waited for him to explain.

"Yes," Charlie whispered. "Are you coming over? Dad, I have to go. I'm supposed to be in my room."

"Go back to your room," he said. "I'll be over there in a few minutes. Charlie," he said quietly, but seriously, "if they start arguing again, lock your door if you have to. Understand?" He trusted Sandra, but he didn't want Charlie getting caught in the middle of a bad situation. He and Sharon had only met David on a couple of occasions. The guy seemed nice enough, but they didn't know him. As far as they knew, things were going okay in that relationship. He knew Sandra was taking it slow, but if his job taught him anything, it was that all of her good intentions wouldn't stop an asshole from being an asshole.

"I understand. I gotta go. Bye dad. Love you."

Charlie hung up before he could reply. Andy placed the phone back on its hook and stood there for a moment. He took a couple of calming breaths before he stepped away from Sharon. "I'm heading over Sandra's," he told her.

"I gathered." She watched him move around the kitchen. He looked a little like a caged animal. "Andy, what happened? Are they okay?"

"I don't know." He ran a hand through his hair. "She got into it with the boyfriend. Whatever happened, it scared Charlie enough to call me. I'm going to go check it out." He took his jacket from where it was hanging, on the back of a kitchen chair and shrugged into it. "I don't know how late I'll be."

"Call me," she told him, "after everything gets sorted out." Sharon would worry until she heard from him or Sandra. "Do you think I should have a unit meet you over there?"

"Nah," Andy walked back over and cupped the back of her head. He pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "I want to see what's going on first. Charlie knows how to call 9-1-1 if there's an emergency. He called me instead. I'll let you know what's happening as soon as I can."

Sharon followed him from the kitchen. She watched as he got his keys and badge. Andy seemed to pause at the stairs, and she knew that he was considering whether or not he would need his gun. Her stomach clenched for just a moment, but he apparently decided against it. She stepped outside, and bounced Ricky against her shoulder when he began to fuss. "Andy, be careful," she said as he walked toward his car.

He paused, driver side door open, and looked back at her. "Always." He grinned, because he didn't want her to worry, but he was already worrying plenty for both of them.

On a good day, it took him twenty-five minutes to drive to Sandra's house. It was the same house that the two of them had bought when they were still married. His ex-wife had gotten it in the divorce, along with a good chunk of his salary in the form of alimony. Supporting two households was the reason he changed his mind about taking the Sergeant's exam. He could use the little bump in pay that would come with an increase in rank. When Sandra had gone back to work, part of him hoped that she might wave the alimony. That wasn't the case, but Andy understood why. It was hard enough to make it with two incomes in this city, least of all with just one, and teachers didn't exactly get paid a lot. Keeping up those payments, along with the child support, helped her take care of Charlie. He didn't feel too bad about it, because of that, but there were times when he felt the stress of it all.

He was going through one of those periods when he made the decision to take the test. His car was all but dead, and they had the medical bills from the baby's birth, _and_ he didn't want to miss out on time with his family by working so much overtime to cover it all that he was barely home. He didn't want Sharon feeling like she had to rush back to work and do that either. He was doing what he needed to do to keep them afloat instead, and maybe give them a little added cushion on top of it. In the meantime, they had gotten a new car, a jeep grand wagon. It was big enough for all three kids, and safe enough that Sharon would be driving it while had taken over driving her little hatchback.

Andy pulled the little white car to a stop in front of Sandra's house with a sigh. His thoughts had occupied his drive. He cut the engine and left the car parked against the curb. There was an unfamiliar, dark sedan in the driveway beside his ex-wife's VW Bug. Andy shook his head at the expensive looking convertible, and decided it must belong to David.

He knocked on the front door, and took off his sunglasses as it opened. Charlie stood before him, in a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. "Hey pal, didn't I ask you to stay in your room?" Andy laid a hand on his son's head as he stepped into the house.

"I did," Charlie told him. "I was waiting for you." He had only come out when he saw his dad drive up.

"That's okay." Andy wrapped an arm around his shoulders. They walked through the house. "Where is he?" He looked around, but didn't see the boyfriend anywhere. Andy looked down at Charlie. He cupped his son's chin and took a good look at his face. The boy looked worried, but otherwise okay.

"Mom told him to leave. He went for a walk after their fight. He hasn't come back yet." Charlie looked up at him. "Can we go to your house?"

"In a little bit." He told him. "Go hang out in your room for a few minutes. I'm going to go talk to your mom." Andy walked Charlie back to his room and left him there. Then he walked down the hall and knocked on Sandra's door. "Sandra, hey, it's me." He tried the knob, and didn't find it locked. Andy pushed the door open. The room was dark. He looked around, eyes squinting against the shadows. He finally spotted Sandra seated on the floor, between the bed and the wall. She had her knees drawn to her chest. Andy walked over and knelt down in front of her. "Hey," he laid a hand on her knee. "Wanna tell me what's going on here?"

Sandra looked up at him. She was surprised to see him, especially given the hour. "Andy, what are you doing here? Charlie's in bed. How did you get in?"

"Actually, no he's not. The kid called. He's worried about you." Andy reached over and flipped on the lamp. Light flooded the room, making both of them wince. He blinked to clear the spots in his vision. When he could see again, part of him wished he couldn't. "Son of a bitch. I'll kill him."

"Andy, no!" Sandra grabbed his arm as he stood up. "I made him leave. It won't happen again." Her cheek was bruised. She stood up when he didn't seem inclined to stop. "Andrew. It's fine."

He turned back, eyes flashing. "It's not _fine_ , Sandra. Look at your damned face. What about Charlie? Whatever that fight was about, you scared the hell out of him. He knows that something is wrong. He called me to come get him. Does this happen all the time? How often do you get into it with your boyfriend while our kid is here?"

"Don't take your temper out on me," she shot back at him. Sandra folded her arms across her chest. "Do you think this is easy? Do you think that I enjoy knowing that my son had to call his dad because he didn't feel comfortable in his own home?" Sandra swept her hair back from her face; she had been sitting in the dark trying to decide how she was going to explain the situation to her child when he saw the mark on her face.

She looked like she might cry. Andy hated that. He hated the whole damned situation. "Okay," he forced himself to calm down and lower his voice. "You're right, I'm sorry. Goddamn it, Sandra…" He tipped her chin up. "What happened?"

"I found out that he's married." She snorted at the surprised look on his face. "That was my reaction too. He has a wife and two kids in Glendale. Apparently, that isn't enough for him, so David likes to chase other women. He wines them, gets to know them, plays the sensitive, romantic guy. Once he's slept with them and things start to get serious, he moves on to the next one. What David didn't count on happening is the fact that his wife is planning on taking everything that he has. She's had someone following him, building a case for her divorce attorney." Her ex-husband scoffed, and Sandra couldn't blame him. She felt the same way about private investigators. "His wife came to see me, here, this afternoon. I confronted David about it tonight." Sandra left the bedroom shaking her head. She wanted to check on Charlie. "To think, I gave you so much crap when we separated. Then I accused you of sleeping around with Sharon while we were still married, and I turn out to be the other woman."

"It doesn't count if you don't know." When she stopped in the middle of the hall and gave him a bland look, Andy shrugged. He knew he was reaching. He really didn't know what to say. "You won't let me beat the hell out of the guy, what am I supposed to do?"

Sandra rolled her eyes at him. She pushed Charlie's door open and peeked into his room. Her son was sitting on his bed; the backpack he usually took to his dad's house was beside him. When he looked up at her, and she saw the worry in his eyes, her heart broke. Sandra walked over and knelt down in front of him. "I made him leave," she promised, "he won't ever come back."

"His car is still here," Charlie told her. "He said he was just going for a walk."

"Then when he gets back," Andy said from the door, "I'll make him leave."

"Did he hit you?" Charlie studied his mother's face. It was red and starting to turn purple.

"Yeah," she told him. "He did." Sandra decided not to lie to her son. "That's why he won't be coming back. We don't hurt people. We don't hit them when we're angry." She knew that his dad had told him to never hit a girl, and that was a good place to start, but Sandra had chosen to expand on it. "It doesn't matter if they're boys or girls. When someone hurts you, you have the right to make them leave. That's what I did." She stroked hand over his hair. "I'm sorry, honey. If you got scared."

"Me too." He leaned forward and hugged her. "I called dad. I didn't know what to do."

"That's okay." She held him close. "Calling your dad was the right thing. I'm glad you did it." Sandra pulled back after a moment. "Do you still want to go to his house tonight? It's okay if you do."

Charlie looked at his dad for a moment. When his dad winked at him, his gaze went back to his mother. He shook his head. "No, I can stay." He decided it was probably a better idea if he took care of her instead.

"Okay." Sandra cupped his face in her hands and kissed his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." Charlie hugged her again, and watched as she moved his bag off of his bed. He toed out of his shoes and lay down when she pulled the blanket back.

"Get some sleep," Sandra told him. "Dad and I are going to be out in the living room talking."

"Okay." Charlie snuggled down in his bed. He was feeling better about everything, but he still worried that David might come back. It helped, knowing his dad was there.

"Good night, buddy." Andy walked over and kissed the top of his head. "I'll come by and see you in the morning. I'll take you to school."

Sandra made sure that the small lamp in the corner of Charlie's room was on before turning out the overhead light and closing his door. They walked into the outer room before she spoke again. "Do you think I should have lied to him? I hate that he knows what happened here tonight."

Andy thought about it for a minute. He shoved his hands into his pockets and stood in the middle of the room. "No," he decided. "He heard the fight. It probably would have been worse if you had lied. He's a pretty smart kid." Andy wandered over and stood in front of the wide, double windows. He could see the driveway from there. "Want me to have him picked up? He put his hands on you. I've got probable cause to have him hauled down and held, at least for a few hours. I can have his car towed too."

It was tempting. Sandra finally shook her head. "No." She sat down on the sofa and pulled a pillow into her lap. "I just want it to be over with. Thank you for coming over here. Can you stay? I know you probably want to get home. I didn't realize that David left his car. I really thought that he left."

"I'm not going anywhere." Andy walked over and dropped into a chair. "The son of a bitch is going to be lucky if he leaves here with his head still attached to his body." He huffed a sigh. "You should have called me the minute he hit you."

"Why?" Sandra shook her head at him. "Andy, I told him to leave. We aren't married anymore; I don't need you to fight my battles. I appreciate your help, but you've got your own life. What would Sharon say?"

He snorted at her. "That he's lucky she's got a new baby at home and didn't come with me. The bastard wouldn't be leaving here with his head still attached, I can tell you that."

"There's something incredibly odd about being defended by your ex-husband's new… I don't even know what to call her. Fiancée feels a little understated for where we're all at in our lives right now, but you're not married yet." She watched him look away. He looked at the wall, and then the floor. He looked at everything but her. Sandra's eyes narrowed. "Andy?"

"Yeah?" He looked at her then, but rubbed the back of his neck. "Okay, listen…" He held up both hands, as if to ward her off, "don't freak out or anything."

"Oh god." Sandra closed her eyes. She took a breath and let it out slowly. "Every time you say that my stomach turns itself inside out. Andy, what did you do?"

He leaned forward in his chair and rubbed his hands against his knees. "We… kind of… already got married. No one knows except our folks. I opened my big mouth and told Ma," he said quickly, while Sandra was staring at him, "so we told Sharon's parents when they were here last week. That's it. We haven't told anyone else. Obviously, we'll have to file it with HR, because we can't afford to get in trouble at work, but we didn't tell the kids." He shrugged. "I don't think Emily is old enough to understand it anyway."

"Andrew!" Sandra shook her head at him. That was the sort of news that she would expect him to discuss with her before just dropping a bomb, especially since it would impact their son. "Why the huge secret? What is the big deal? You've been talking about getting married for almost a year. You gave her your grandmother's ring. I don't think that anyone is going to be hugely surprised by this."

"We're still going to have a wedding," he told her. "It's not really a secret, I guess. I just…" Andy sighed. He raked a hand over his face. "Dammit. She didn't really get a wedding with Jack. Their wedding day basically consisted of her parents and his in a little chapel, with a priest. That was it. They spent the weekend at a cheap motel down in Baja, and Jack was drunk for most of it. I don't want her to feel like that's happening again. Yeah, okay, so there was a minor bit of panicking at the hospital the night Ricky was born, and that's why we did it, but I never intended for _that_ to be it. I wanted us to be married before that baby was born, and I don't regret doing it, but she deserves more than some non-denominational chaplain signing a marriage license with two nurses as witnesses."

"I hate you." The words left Sandra's mouth before she could stop them. She looked away from him as tears blurred her vision. Her anger was a hot, bitter knot that was churning in her stomach. "It's not fair. I did _everything_ right." She lifted her gaze toward the ceiling. My life is the one that gets blown apart, and you… you drank yourself stupid, and I begged you, _begged_ you, to stop, and it wasn't enough. You couldn't just fix it. You had to completely obliterate our lives, and now you get a fresh start."

"Fresh start?" Andy stared at her. All this time, he thought she understood. He shook his head, and started to say more, but they heard the front door open. Andy pushed out of his chair and strode toward the foyer. "You're going to want to turn around and walk right back out of here."

David walked into the house, prepared to be contrite, but took one look at the darkly glaring figure of his girlfriend's ex-husband and stopped. A scowl formed between his brows. "Are you fucking kidding me? You called your ex?"

"Hey pal," Andy stalked toward him. He got in the other man's face, getting as close as he could without physically touching him. "You wanna watch your mouth? From where I'm standing, you're in a hell of a lot of trouble right now." His hands were itching to knock the guy against the wall, but a voice in the back of his head kept whispering that it would just make everything worse.

"Oh?" David snorted at him. "And the drunk with the bad temper is going to tell me about trouble?"

"Yes, actually," Sandra interrupted them, "he is, and if you don't leave my house like I asked, a few of his friends are going to show up and take you away." She stopped behind Andy's shoulder and folded her arms across her chest.

Andy looked back at her. "Isn't my name still on the deed?"

"No, honey, the nice judge let me take it off when he freed me from that hostage situation." She gave his shoulder a friendly pat, and then rubbed his arm. Bad humor had always been his way of controlling his temper when he felt like he was losing his grasp on it.

"Damn." He sighed. "I was really hoping I could use that. I could knock his ass out and toss him into the yard. Since it's not my house… I'll have to call it in." He looked at David again and shrugged. "You'll have to go downtown. They'll book you in. It's late, so you'll get arraigned sometime tomorrow morning, and then you'll have to post bail. I doubt you'll end up with more than a misdemeanor trespassing charge, even after what you did to her face. I'll have to fill out paperwork, and that will take a couple of hours. Of course, all that means that I'll get home really late. Probably in time to change a diaper and fall into bed next to my slightly irate wife, who isn't going to let me sleep, because she's going to want to know everything that happened. Then she's going to expect me to stay up while the baby gets his next feeding. I might be allowed to go to sleep after that. It's going to be a hell of a hassle, but I'll do it, if for no other reason than you're the one that's going to end up having to spend the night in jail, and that misdemeanor charge won't look so great during the divorce. So what's it gonna be? You leaving, or am I making a call?"

"Alright!" David took a step back. He put his hands up. "I'm going." His lip curled when he looked at Sandra. "For the record, you just blew a good thing."

"You're my witness," Andy told his ex-wife. "I tried. Make sure you tell Sharon that…" He grabbed David by his arm and twisted him around. Andy fisted his hand in the other man's shirt, holding him at the collar as he walked him from the house. He took him out onto the front step and gave him a hard shove. "Go on, get the hell out of here."

Sandra stepped out beside him. "Good luck in divorce court, David. I have a feeling you're going to need it."

They watched him get into his car and leave. As his taillights disappeared at the end of the street, Andy turned to Sandra. "Good luck in divorce court? Who actually wishes someone luck with that?"

She shrugged. "My mother. It turned out okay for me. I got the house."

"But you think I'm the one with the fresh start?" Andy snorted. "Baby, you have no idea. Yeah, I've got Sharon, and we've got some pretty damn great kids, but you know what… It's hard as hell. One drink. Just one tumbler of bourbon, and it'll take the edge off. The problem is, I won't stop at just one, and we both know that. I'll drink the whole bottle, and I won't care about any of it. A fresh start? No, because at the end of the day, I'm still left with everything I did wrong, and I can't take it back. The worst part is, I don't know if I'd change it. If I did, I wouldn't have Sharon, and we wouldn't have Ricky. As much as I loved you, the idea of a life without her scares the hell out of me. So I don't know if I want that, but I didn't want to hurt you either. It just makes me a bastard. A bastard that blew his life apart and has to live with the fallout."

"You've never said that to me before," she said quietly. "Why is that?" Of all the things they had talked about, and the number of times that he tried to tell her he was sorry for the mess he made of their marriage, Sandra couldn't recall him ever being quite so raw or open.

"You weren't ready to hear it yet." Andy turned. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, the one that had gone unblemished by David's apparent temper. "I'm going to go call Sharon and let her know that everything is okay. Then I'll get out of here. Get some ice on that cheek, so it won't look so bad tomorrow." He would still swing by and take Charlie to school; he wanted to talk to his son about what had gone on there tonight.

She touched his arm as he started to walk inside. "Thank you for coming tonight. I think, despite everything, I forgot that I can still count on you to save my ass." She shrugged at him. "Even if it was actually for Charlie."

"I came for you too." He nudged her shoulder as he walked past. "We may not be married anymore, but you're still important. You're Charlie's mom. That means you're still family, as far as I'm concerned."

Sandra had to look away when tears filled her eyes again. She stood there for a minute and blinked them away. After taking a deep breath, she turned. Sandra followed her ex-husband back into the house that had once belonged to both of them. They had big dreams for that place. Now it was just hers, and she wondered if she should sell it. Had she held onto it, and the old dreams, when logically she knew that it was all out of reach? Sandra thought about that. It wasn't a night for making decisions, but the idea was there. She decided that, maybe, it was time to find some new dreams. She should discover something that was her own, and stop chasing after what was lost. She couldn't replace the past, and it was time she stopped trying.

 **-TBC-**


	18. Chapter 18

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 18**

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Sharon rolled her eyes. That response was exactly why she had waited until the kids were in bed to have their current conversation. She almost smiled. Her husband was so predictable.

She was seated in the center of their bed, legs folded beneath her while she watched him pace around their room like a caged animal. At three months old, Ricky had graduated to sleeping in his own room; Sharon tilted her head toward the baby monitor on the table beside the bed and listened closely. He didn't stir, and she was thankful for that. Emily was used to her stepfather's antics, and by now, Sharon was certain that her daughter could sleep through almost anything.

"No," she said at length, "I am not, actually, and unless you'd like to spend the night sleeping downstairs, I suggest you keep your voice down." Her hands were clasped together and resting in her lap. Andy scowled at her and she almost laughed. "I don't understand what the problem is, honestly."

He almost tripped over his own feet. Andy came to an abrupt stop and whirled to stare at her. "Really?" He threw his hands up in exasperation, "it's the fucking rat squad, and you don't know what the problem is? Sharon, for crying out loud—"

"It's stable hours," she shot back at him. "It's alternating weekends off, and no more being out on the street. It's exactly what I was hoping would happen when I began applying for open positions in other divisions. Andy…" She exhaled quietly. "There will be evenings when I am on call, so yes, we will have to do some shuffling on occasion, but I am going to get to spend more time with our kids. Not to mention that it's a good way of advancing in a department that treats women like they are second-class citizens. Yes," she held up a hand before he could respond, "by taking the transfer I am joining Internal Affairs, but that doesn't make me a different person. It certainly doesn't make me a different cop, and I do not appreciate the insinuation that it will."

"You can't know that, Sharon." He pushed a hand through his hair. "Have you ever dealt with those guys? They treat us all like we're guilty, and we have to prove that we're not. It's the exact opposite of the whole purpose of having a police force. How can we concentrate on getting the assholes out there off the street, when we have to spend so much time fighting for the right to do our jobs? It's damned ridiculous, and you can't say it isn't."

"I never said that the system is perfect, Andrew." Sharon spoke in a low tone. "Nor have I ever indicated, or stated, that I believe that we should be allowed to police without oversight. If we are to be successful, Andy, checks and balances have to exist. No one is perfect, and the screening process for the academy is not infallible. The wrong person with a badge and gun is as much a danger as any gang member."

"Jesus, you already drank the Kool-Aid." Andy fell face first onto the bed. He gathered a pillow beneath him and muffled the sound of his near-scream.

Sharon's lips pursed. She rolled her eyes heavenward and waited for him to pull it together. When he rolled onto his back and spread his arms across the bed with a loud sigh, Sharon chuckled quietly. "There is a reason," she began, speaking calmly, but with a hint of amusement in her tone, "why people don't always believe us when we tell them that you aren't Emily's biological father. The melodrama that you are currently displaying could only be surpassed by our daughter in a complete meltdown over not being able to find her favorite tights."

"Well," he heaved a loud, prolonged sigh, "anything worth doing…" Andy tipped his head back and looked at his wife. Even upside down he could see that she was approaching the end of her patience with him. "The rat squad? Really?"

Now he was going to pout at her. Sharon shook her head at him again. "Yes, Andy. Honey, I don't want to spend the entirety of my career in patrol, and whether you want to believe it or not, there just aren't that many positions available to women outside of that." She leaned forward and brushed her fingers over his hair. "I had to fight to be allowed to take the Sergeants exam. It's available to women, sure, but after we prove that we're good enough to take it. My rank still isn't fully recognized by my peers, and I make less than male sergeants that were promoted after me. Andy…" She looked away from him. Sharon sighed. "I requested transfers to Robbery-Homicide, Vice, Gang Intelligence, Commercial Crimes and even padded the list with a request for Juvenile Crimes. I didn't even apply for Internal Affairs, in large part because I knew how you would feel about it, and while it's _my_ career, I did take our marriage into consideration. In the year since I sent those requests I have had two responses: Vice and now Internal Affairs. You and I both know that if I go Vice, I will spend all of my time undercover walking Sunset Boulevard."

"Because you're a woman," he stated. "I don't get it. Having tits doesn't make you any less able to knock the hell out of a suspect than I am. If you ask me, it just makes you more dangerous. They're distracting." He had gone a few rounds with her in the gym over the years and she had kicked his ass more than once. He let her win, just once, the first time. She made him pay for it. He could almost still feel those bruises.

" _Andy_." She glared at him. He was not helping, although she appreciated the sentiment. "Can we focus?"

"Can't." He rolled onto his stomach and looked up at her. Andy propped his head in his hand and smirked. "They're really great ti-" She hit him over the head with a pillow before he could finish, but he expected it. "Okay, so the department is an old boys' club," he said more seriously, "I don't think we can change that overnight, and I'm really not sure how you joining Internal Affairs can do anything about it."

"That's not why I'm doing it," she explained. "I want to get out of Patrol, and I don't want to work a desk, at least not full-time. I've had enough of that. The only thing that I have to do to qualify for IA is pass the Detectives Exam. The raise is minuscule, but it's not about the money either. The kids are going to grow up fast, Andy. I don't want to miss it. I also don't want the two of us to exist as people who see each other in passing. That isn't good for us, and it isn't good for our kids."

"Do you want me to talk to Taylor about it?" Andy shrugged a shoulder at her. "Russell is basically running RHD since he got promoted to Lieutenant. Everyone knows he wants Harris's job," he said of his Captain. Harris was on his way out, and they all expected that Taylor would be running Robbery-Homicide in another couple of years. The captain just had to decide that he was ready to retire. "Provenza doesn't want it, he doesn't want the damn paperwork that goes with it. He says he's a cop, not a paper pusher. I can get Russell to put a bug in Harris's ear…"

"You will not!" Sharon thought about hitting him with the pillow again, but refrained, since it obviously had not helped the first time. " _Andy_!" She scowled at him. "In what world do you honestly think that I would _ever_ want my husband to put in a good word for me with his boss, just so I can have a spot in his division?"

"What?" He stared at her, a completely dumbfounded look on his face. "You said that you put in for a transfer to Robbery-Homicide too. For all we know, Harris just didn't consider it because I'm already there. It's not like we're a huge secret or anything. You just had my kid. Maybe I should make sure that they know that I'm okay with it. Shit, it's not like we'll be partners, so there's no reason why you can't be in the same division."

Sharon rubbed her forehead. She changed her mind and hit him with the pillow again, although she aimed for his shoulder this time. "Thank you, Andrew, for displaying a perfect example of exactly what is wrong with the LAPD." When he continued to look confused, Sharon sighed. "You are going to make sure that Captain Harris knows that it's _okay_ for me to transfer to Robbery-Homicide," she said slowly, so that he could hear exactly how his statement sounded, "by putting in a good word for me with your good pal Russell Taylor." Her brows arched when she finished. "Does that about cover it?" Her husband wasn't stupid, not by any means, but he could be incredibly dense at times, and this was one of them.

"Oh." Andy frowned. "Okay, when you put it that way." He rubbed a hand over his face. "This is so damned stupid. You can't get a job you would really like because the department is so damned macho, and I can't help you get a job you'd like, because then it's patronizing." He waved a hand at her and rolled onto his back again. "Fine, go work in Internal Affairs. Wallow in the muck with the rats. I've got ten to one odds that you'll end up being the Rat Queen in two years, tops." He watched his wife's eyes narrowed and rolled his. "Fine, shit, six months, but that's it." Andy stared at the ceiling above them. "Can we go back to talking about your tits now?" He grunted when the pillow landed against his chest. "I'm guessing that's a no."

"You are guessing right." Sharon got off the bed and strolled around it. "I appreciate your permission, Andy, to do what I have already decided that I am going to do."

"Oh hell." He covered his face with his hand. That wasn't what he'd meant. "Dammit, Sharon. I'm trying here. I don't know what the hell you want me to say. I'm not thrilled that you're choosing to work in Internal Affairs. I'm willing to help you work anywhere else that you want to, but you don't want me to do that either. No matter what I say, it's the wrong thing. Can we just agree that you're going to do what you want, and I'm going to put my foot in it, but I love you anyway?"

She laughed at him. "You might have led off with that." Sharon walked back over to stand near the bed. "I don't expect you to like it, but I would really appreciate it if you could support it, even respect it. Our jobs don't define our marriage, at least I hope that they don't."

He sat up and slid toward the edge of the bed. Andy rested his hands against her hips and pulled her forward to stand between his legs. "Supporting you isn't the problem. I'm always going to do that. I just know how other cops feel about IA, and I know how they're going to treat you now. That's going to drive me crazy. I'm going to try and ignore it, but eventually you're going to end up pissed at me because I knocked the hell out of some smart mouthed jerk who decided to run his mouth off at my wife. I can't help it. You can take care of yourself, but that's still going to piss me off. Just because you don't need me to defend you doesn't mean that I don't want to, or that I'm not going to."

"I appreciate that." She rested her hands against his shoulders. "I would appreciate it even more if you let _me_ handle it. I also think that it could go a long way toward proving to some that… the fact that I am a woman doesn't mean that I am incapable, or somehow weaker than they are."

"All I can do is try," he told her, "that's all I can promise." Andy grimaced, "especially since one of those assholes popping off at you might end up being me." He gave her an utterly woeful look. "Can I just put it on the record right now that I'm incredibly sorry for the way that I'm probably going to act at some point in the future, and I would really like to not sleep outside?"

Sharon laughed as she cupped his face in her hands. "Well, I'm used to your smart mouth." She kissed him, it was short and quick, and she smiled against his mouth. "That does raise a very good point. If we do end up arguing at work, I want us to promise that we won't bring it home. I don't care how angry we are at each other, I don't want to bring that into this house with our kids."

He wasn't sure that he could really promise her that." Andy wrapped his arms around her waist. "We'll do our best," he said. "I'm not sure how that's going to work out, but yeah, I don't want the kids to see us fighting either. That might be one of those things that we just have to practice, you know? We're not going to know how we handle it until it happens for the first time."

"I agree." Sharon shrugged. "We can't predict anything until it happens, but as long as we are on the same page now, I think we'll be okay. I understand this is going to put you in a difficult spot with your division. I'm sorry about that."

"Don't be." He tugged her closer. "It's none of their damned business what you do with your job, and ya know, it's none of their business what we do in our marriage either. They can keep their damned noses out of it, and I'll make sure they know to keep their damned mouths closed, at least around me." He flashed a crooked grin at her. "In a choice between you and them, I'm going to choose you every time, sweetheart."

A smile appeared, softening her face. "I love you." She had worried that he would have more to say about her transfer, or that he would be more upset about it than he was. She felt relief settle over her as he seemed to accept it, or at the very least, accept that he loved her enough to deal with it.

"Yeah." He reached up and cupped the back of her neck. Andy pulled her down and kissed her bottom lip. "Me too." His dark eyes glittered with mischief. "And I really love your ti—" When she placed both hands against his face and shoved him away from her, he laughed. Andy pulled her with him. When she was lying atop him, his grin gentled. "I may not be a cop forever, Sharon, but this, you and me, I want that to be."

"So do I." She braced her hands against the mattress and lifted herself, sliding up his body until her face was hovering over his. Their lips touched, barely brushing. "I know I told you this morning," she husked, "that there was probably zero chance of you getting sex tonight, but if you wanted to try and talk me into it…"

"Yeah?" His hands moved to her bottom. He pulled her against him, but sighed. "So what? I'm a machine now? You think that you can just turn me off and on like a toaster? Flip a switch and I pop right—"

Sharon covered his mouth with one of her hands. "Your chances of talking me into anything are diminishing quickly," she warned him. "I would suggest less talking and more doing, honey."

He thought about that for a moment. Andy flashed a wolfish grin at her and rolled them across the bed. It was his turn to hover over her, but he wasted no time capturing her mouth. He slid a hand down, fingers dancing against soft skin as they stroked the length of her thigh, and drew her leg up alongside his body. His hand slipped higher as he moved against her, and slid up to splay across her bottom while their kiss deepened. She was still soft with added curves from their son's birth, and while she had bemoaned her slightly fuller figure, he was doing all he could to show her there was nothing to be upset about.

"Momma."

Nothing to be upset about, except _that_. Andy groaned as his head dropped to her shoulder. It was the third time, in as many tries since her doctor had given her the green light for having sex again, that they had been interrupted. They didn't get a lot of time alone together, and lately, it seemed like whatever time they did have was cut short by one or both of the kids. He felt Sharon's hand in his hair and sighed as he lifted his head. "And the switch is off," he said, but kissed her before rolling away.

"Momma, I'm thirsty." Emily pushed their bedroom door open and poked her head inside.

"She'll probably go right back to sleep." Sharon rubbed his chest as she crawled over him and off the bed. "Come on, baby. Let's get you some water and go back to bed."

"God please let this be one of those nights when Ricky wants to sleep," Andy muttered to the ceiling. The baby was going longer between feedings, but he wasn't sleeping entirely through the night yet. He had managed to sleep until almost four in the morning on a couple of occasions, but he usually woke up around one or two. By Andy's estimation, it would probably take her about half an hour to get Emily back down. Then they would have about an hour to themselves before they really had to try to get some sleep before Ricky was up, because if they were lucky, and he went back down with his feeding, they could nap before the alarm went off and they had to get up for work. Andy rubbed both hands across his face. He was honestly tired just thinking about it.

When the phone began ringing, he swore. "Forget it," he called to his wife, "looks like I'm going to work." There was no one else that would be calling them at that hour. He sighed as he rolled across the bed to answer it. Between work and the kids, it was really no surprise that they hadn't managed to reconnect physically yet. Not that their relationship was entirely built on sex, but he missed it. He missed _her_ , the feel of her, the smell of her, and how she felt against him. She was a damned good mother, and god only knew that she was a hell of a cop, but he was ready to have his wife back, the sexy woman that made his toes curl.

Sharon lifted Emily into her arms, and lamented for just a moment that her little girl was starting to get too big for her to be carrying her around like that. They were both growing up too fast. Emily was already losing the chubbiness of being a toddler; she was growing long and lean, and Sharon suspected that putting her in dance had been the right decision.

Then there was Ricky. Her baby had changed so much in a short time. He was looking more like his father every day, and already he was rolling over and discovering his feet. It was a joy to watch both of them grow and learn new things, but it also felt like it was going too fast. These were not days that she and Andy would ever get back, and a part of her wished that they could slow it down, savor it a bit more.

It was with that in mind that Sharon stayed in Emily's room after getting her daughter a drink of water. She lay beside her girl, stroking her fingers through her long dark hair and humming quietly as her daughter drifted back to sleep. She had wondered, when Ricky was born, if Andy would still be interested in adopting Emily. She didn't believe it was a fleeting thought, but having a new baby brought so many other changes into their lives. It was something that he still wanted to pursue, however.

Sharon's brother, Alan, had decided to practice family law, and although they would still need to engage a local attorney, he was helping them with the process. Having Jack's paternal rights severed would be the most difficult, and lengthy part of it, but Alan didn't think that it would be impossible. Jack had a history of abandoning his daughter, and given that he hadn't even paid child support since their divorce was final, they had a fairly well documented case of paternal neglect and disinterest. Alan seemed to think they could have the entire adoption completed by the following spring, or summer at the very latest. Sharon hoped that was the case, she would like to have the paperwork finished and Emily's name changed before they enrolled her in pre-school.

The adoption was only a formality, though. In all the ways that mattered, Emily was already his; Andy couldn't love her anymore if he had actually fathered her. They had chosen each other, and somehow, that seemed infinitely more precious.

Sharon made sure that Emily was tucked in and her favorite stuffed animal, the old monkey that Andy had gotten her a few years ago, was well within reach before she left the room. She walked quietly next door to peek in on Ricky before returning to her own room. The little boy was asleep on his back; his legs were drawn up, much like a little frog, and he had one arm flung over his head. Sharon shook her head at him in amusement and pulled the light blanket that he had kicked off back up to cover his legs.

She leaned against the side of the crib and laid a hand against his stomach. In the low light from the crib-side lamp, she watched her son sleep. The pacifier was still in his mouth, and every once in a while, it would move as he suckled at it. Where Emily had been much smaller as a baby, Ricky was long and solid. She suspected that he would be built very much like his father. His eyes had remained blue for quite a while, but they had always been dark. Now they were a deep, muddy green, and Sharon suspected that they would turn brown by his first birthday. Already he had his father's coloring. Where she and Emily were both extremely fair, Ricky was a little darker, and his hair had none of the red highlights that hers, or even Emily's possessed. He was all Flynn, this boy of hers, and she completely adored him.

Sharon didn't linger much longer, for fear of waking him. The longer that Ricky slept, the better, even if it seemed that her husband was headed back to work. She moved quietly out of Ricky's room, but left the door open a few inches. She was certain that she would hear him through the baby monitor, but part of her still worried that the device would fail her. New mother concerns, she thought with some amusement. She had gone through the same transition with Emily.

Andy was still seated on the edge of their bed when she walked back into the bedroom. Sharon crossed to the dresser and exchanged her shorts for a pair of soft, gray sweats. It looked like she would be spending the evening alone, and she intended to be comfortable. "Shouldn't you be getting dressed to go back to Parker Center?" Sharon turned and studied her husband as she shimmied out of her shorts and into the sweats. When she was dressed, she walked over to stand near him. His shoulders were hunched, and his arms were resting against his knees. He seemed to be staring at the floor. "Andy?"

His head slowly rose and he lifted his gaze toward her. Andy stared at her for a moment, almost as though he didn't really see her. Finally he spoke. "That wasn't work. It was Caro," he told her, referring to the younger sister that he didn't speak to often. Andy was in touch with Ella, the eldest of his siblings, and the sister closest to his own age. He even spoke to Isabelle occasionally, but Caro was ten years his junior. She was barely in high school when he had moved to California with Sandra. His parents believed they were finished having children after Isabelle, but several years later, Caro had surprised them. She had graduated from college the year before, with a degree in art history that he couldn't understand, only to spend a year abroad in Italy, living with distant relatives. His mother told him that she was working in an art gallery now, but had her eye on one of the larger museums.

"Oh?" Sharon felt concern rising. She laid a hand against his back and rubbed slow, soothing circles. "Is everything okay?" He seemed to be dazed, and that wasn't entirely like Andy. Usually, when the family called, it was his mother, or one of the other sisters. They didn't hear from Caro, and he only spoke to her if she was at the house when he called his mother. It was unusual that any of them would call this late, and especially his youngest sister.

"No." Andy blinked at her. "My dad died."

Sharon didn't know what she expected him to say, but it certainly wasn't that. She felt her stomach drop. Shock and grief were almost immediate, and both warred for dominance. "What?" Sharon knelt in front of him. She could picture Michael easily, with his laughing eyes and crooked grin. He was an older version of Andy, with hair that had gone silver, but that same devious gleam in his eyes when he was up to something. Sharon laid her hands against her husband's knees and rubbed. "When?"

"Tonight." Andy shook his head. "Earlier, I guess. He wasn't feeling great, said his chest was hurting. Ma talked him in to going to the hospital. They said he was having a heart attack. She was going to call me after they got all the tests back and knew something definite." Andy ran a hand through his hair. "He had another one in the ER, and they couldn't get him back. He's just… gone." He could tell that Caro had been crying, and it said a lot that neither Isabelle nor Ella had called. She told him that their mother had been given a sedative tonight, and they would begin making all the arrangements the following day. "Ma's not doing so great," he muttered. Andy looked down again. "I'm all the way out here. She and the girls are having to do this by themselves." He leaned forward again and braced his elbows on his knees; his hands gripped his head. "Christ."

She looked down for a moment, and quickly blinked away tears. Sharon's hands stroked the backs of his calves while she thought through all of it. "Okay." She sat forward on her knees. "We'll just have to get you there." Sharon reached for his face and cupped it in her hands. His eyes were red now, and she knew that he was only barely holding it together. "I don't think we can get you on a flight out of here tonight, but we'll do our best. If nothing else, we'll get you on the first flight out of LA tomorrow morning. You'll go, and you will check on your mother and your sisters. You will help them do what needs to be done. The kids and I will follow in a couple of days." She wouldn't let him face this by himself. Sharon couldn't even begin to fathom what it would feel like to lose one of her parents, but she knew that she would need him. She could only imagine that the same was true now.

Andy opened his mouth to respond and stopped. He shook his head. "That's not going to work. Sharon, traveling across country with two kids is going to be a nightmare, I can't let you do that by yourself."

He had a point, but she was determined to try. Sharon shrugged. "Then I can see if Sandra will take Emily for a couple of days…" The thought trailed off even as she voiced it. "No, that won't work either. Charlie should go with you, and Sandra may want to make the trip too." His ex-wife had been part of that family longer than she had. "You know what," she decided, "don't worry about it. We will figure it out. You will go, and the rest will fall into place. We'll make it work, Andy, I promise."

He nodded quietly and lowered his gaze again. When her arms wrapped around him, he turned his face into her neck. He took a slow, shuddering breath as the grief seemed to finally sweep over him. "I just spoke to him a couple of days ago. Ma was out when I called, but I talked to Dad for a while. He wanted more pictures of the kids. He was asking when we were going to bring Ricky out… aw geez… I told him we were thinking of doing it at Christmas. He never even met him." His dad wasn't able to make the trip when the baby was born, they had promised to bring Ricky to New York around the holidays, when he was a little older.

"Look at me," she whispered. Sharon grasped his face in her hands. She leaned close, so that their foreheads were touching. "I'm sorry." Her thumbs stroked his cheeks. "I love you." It was hard to imagine what he was feeling, when thoughts of losing either of her parents opened up such a chasm of grief that she immediately shied away from it. She hadn't known Michael well, but she had become fond of him. He was kind, and accepting, and his encouragement had helped her more than he could know. More than she had probably told him, or even his son. She knew that Andy's relationship with his father had been a little shaky for a while; he was concerned at having disappointed the man, and Sharon was sure that he had, but Michael had also seen for himself the great strides that Andy had made to repair and correct the mistakes that he made.

He stayed in their home, and in doing so he saw a man who was loving and steady, a man who was becoming a better father every day. He saw Andy as he was with the children, without pretense and with no walls to hinder his view. He was able to see a man who was working very hard at supporting his family, all while continuing to fight an addiction that had almost taken all of it from him. Michael saw a man that he could be proud of. Sharon thought they might have talked about those things when his father had visited last March, but she couldn't be sure, and she had never pressed him for details.

"It's late now," she said quietly, "so we'll call Sandra in the morning." Sharon moved onto the bed beside him. An arm slipped around his shoulders, and she leaned against his side. "Come downstairs," she continued, knowing he wouldn't sleep tonight, "I'll make some coffee and start calling airlines."

He nodded, but didn't move. Andy looked at her instead. His eyes were dark with emotion, but it was the despair that she saw in his gaze, the absolute helplessness that made her wrap her arms around him. She held on, and let him cling to her in return. It was going to be a long night, and an even longer few days.

They would get through this. She didn't know how, but they would find a way.

 **-TBC-**


	19. Chapter 19

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

 **A/N:** We've gotten to the end of what was already written before I started posting. There are two more completed chapters that are in revision, but updates may slow after that. I will try to keep it flowing every couple of days.

* * *

 **Chapter 19**

The idea of traveling across country, on a six-hour flight, with two small children was almost incomprehensible to Sharon. When she considered that she was doing it with three of them, there was a tiny part of her that was utterly terrified. Andy had flown to New York very early the morning after they had learned of his father's passing. Sharon sent him ahead of her while she made arrangements for herself and the children. She ached at the thought, but there was no other choice. Andy needed to be with his mother and sisters just as much as they needed to have him there; the sooner he got there, the better, for all of them.

With the school semester ending soon, Sandra wasn't able to get away. Sharon knew that she felt terrible about it, but was also aware that Andy's ex-wife had called Carla and extended her condolences. Sandra had spoken to Andy too, but only briefly. There wasn't much time to talk before his plane left. Sandra had offered to keep Ricky and Emily, but the logistics of it all just didn't feel right to Sharon. In the end, and after much discussion, they decided that Charlie was old enough to understand the loss of his grandfather, and needed the opportunity to say goodbye. It would also do him good to be with his father, and Sharon thought, Carla might appreciate having her grandson present.

Sharon reflected on how much help Charlie had been as she guided him and Emily through the jet bridge ahead of her while leaving the plane in New York. She had Ricky in a sling across her chest, one hand holding him steady, while her purse and his diaper bag were hanging from her shoulder. Charlie and Emily each had their own bags, and Sharon almost laughed at the sight of her daughter, skipping ahead of her with a backpack that was almost as big as she was. Charlie was holding his stepsister's hand, and glanced back twice to make sure that Sharon was still directly behind them.

They were all a little tired. Sharon had timed the flight at mid-morning, wanting to leave LA early, but not too early since she was traveling with the kids. Ricky hadn't slept well the night before, and they discovered that he didn't especially like flying either. While the baby hadn't cried much, he spent the flight fussing and fidgeting. Emily and Charlie had both taken small naps, but it was the Charlie's first flight, and both children were excited.

As they cleared the jet bridge, Sharon guided both kids to the side. They were about to have to maneuver through a lot more people and she wanted to make sure that she had a good handle on both of them. Andy was meeting them at baggage claim, and she was anxious to get there as quickly as possible, for a number of reasons. She was worried about her husband, it had been two days since she had seen him, and she wanted to hold him. Sharon took hold of Emily's hand as they moved into the crowd in the terminal. After a six-hour flight, there were a few things to do before getting to baggage claim, and she took the kids to the nearest washroom.

She had given Ricky a bottle on the plane, but the baby hadn't taken much of it. He was too unsettled by the flight to really eat, and she knew that he would want to nurse soon. It took her ten minutes to get the kids through the washroom and change the baby's diaper, but she was quickly learning that if they just took their time, this trip of theirs was far less stressful than it had to be.

It was a little bit like herding cats, however, keeping up with Charlie and Emily through the crowd in the terminal as they made their way to baggage claim. The kids wanted to see everything, and both of them were getting more excited about seeing their dad. Sharon was more than a little relieved when they finally stepped through the terminal exit and into baggage claim.

Charlie saw Andy first, and let go of Emily before Sharon could stop him. "Dad!" He ran toward Andy, easily slipping through and around other passengers until he reached him.

"Hey, buddy." Andy lifted Charlie, though it wasn't as easy as it used to be. He hugged him tightly before placing him back onto his feet. He kept a hand on his son's shoulder as he craned his head to look through the crowd. He spotted Sharon a moment later, walking toward him, and straining to hold Emily back. He met her gaze and held out his arms. He lifted Emily high when she reached him. "There you are, Monkey girl." He held her on his hip until her mother reached them. "Hey."

"Hi." She noticed how tired he was first. There were deep circles under his eyes, and she was not accustomed to seeing her husband look pale, and yet, beneath his usual tan complexion, and what looked like a two-day-old beard, his pallor was dull. She laid her fingertips against his cheek and felt the whiskers tickle her skin. "How are you?"

He slipped a hand into her hair and drew her closer. Andy's lips brushed her cheek before he turned his face into her hair. "Better now," he whispered. They stood there, and let others move around them while he held on to her. It had been an incredibly hard two days, and as much as he had needed to be with his family during that time, he was grateful to have _this_ part of his family at his side again.

Sharon hummed quietly. The arm that she had wrapped around his middle squeezed him tightly before she took a step back. She lifted her hand again and stroked the backs of her fingers against his jaw before she dropped her palm to lie against his chest. "You look tired, honey."

"Yeah." His gaze moved to the baby in her arms and he smiled, possibly the first genuine smile that had touched his face in days. He put Emily on her feet beside them and reached for Ricky. With a little maneuvering, and help from Sharon, he lifted him out of the sling. He held the baby in front of him, and his smile grew larger when Ricky cooed and squawked at the feel of his whiskers when Andy kissed his cheek. He brought the baby to his chest and settled him in the crook of his arm, and then he wrapped his other around Sharon. "Come on," he told her, "let's get your bags."

"Andy." Sharon stopped him. He wouldn't look at her. All he had given her was a passing glance before turning his attention to the children. She had one of Emily's hands in her grasp, but Sharon tipped his face toward her. His eyes were red, she noticed. Her brows lifted in askance. "Are you…"

He sighed; he wasn't at all surprised that his wife had figured it out so quickly. "I uh… yeah. Shit. I'm a little hung-over." His arm dropped from around her. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck.

His gaze dropped, and she watched him stare at the floor for a minute. When he finally looked up again, she saw the shame. Her hand touched his cheek again and Sharon moved closer to him. Her eyes closed as she pressed her lips against his jaw. "Okay," she whispered. This wasn't a conversation that she wanted to have in front of Charlie or Emily. Sharon had been afraid of this. She and Sandra had discussed it. They both worried about him, out here by himself, with so much grief and worry, and so very much to do in the wake of his father's death. She wanted to believe that he would be strong enough to handle all of that, but she also knew that anyone could crumble beneath it. He wasn't a perfect man. He never claimed to be, and now he was thousands of miles away from his usual meeting, his sponsor, and his support system. She and Sandra had both acknowledged that Andy was only a few years sober, and every day was a struggle. She could feel how tense he had gone. "We'll just have to start over," she told him.

Andy nodded silently. He met her gaze again when she pulled away. "I'm sorry." Regret was bitter in his stomach. It was thick, and burned, like the expensive whiskey that he drank the night before.

"So am I." She stroked her hand down his arm and wrapped her fingers around his. Sharon always wondered what she would do, if he slipped into his addiction again. She hadn't known him when he was drinking. Sharon had only heard the stories. Sandra had tossed him out when he chose the bottle over her and their son. This situation was entirely different, though, and she could only envision herself picking him back up again. "Let's get the bags," she said. "The kids are tired and so am I, and that one," she nodded to the baby that was still resting against his chest, "is going to want to eat soon."

He looked down at him. Ricky was looking around, eyes wide at all the different sights and sounds around them. His face almost ached with the act of forcing a smile for the children's benefit. "Did you give your mom a hard time?" He heard Sharon sigh, and that drew a concerned look from him. "Was it bad?" He had worried about her making the trip alone, with all three kids. Andy wished that she had come with him, or that he could have waited. As good a mother as Sharon was, coming this far with all of them, by herself, was still pretty tough.

"It wasn't easy," she told him, "but it wasn't terrible. Charlie was a huge help." The boy beamed at the praise, and she smiled. "Emily did great, but Ricky didn't like the flight at all. They slept a little on the plane, but I'm sure they'll all have an early night."

They had started walking while they spoke. Andy drew them all through the crowd toward the baggage carousel. He had half an hour before they landed to keep an eye on the arrivals board, and it had updated only a few minutes before Sharon and the kids finally joined him. "You're over here," he told them. From the looks of it, the belt had only just started to turn. "I borrowed Isabelle's car. We put little Sam's car seat in it last night."

His younger sister's son wasn't that much older than Ricky, but he had already grown out of the infant car seat. His sisters understood the issues with traveling with young kids; both Ella and Isabelle had sent instructions along, through him, for Sharon to not bring any of the usual baby gear. Between the two of them and their families, there was plenty to go around in the way of car seats, strollers, and the like. It was a huge relief, and Andy had certainly felt better about his wife making the trip; Sharon only needed to pack what Ricky absolutely couldn't do without.

"How are they?" Once they reached the carousel, Sharon took Ricky back so that Andy could get the bags. "I spoke to Ella last night. She said your mother isn't doing well." It was to be expected. They had been married for close to forty years, and from what Andy had told her before, they had been together since they were teenagers. Sharon knew that losing a love like that must be devastating.

"No." Andy watched for Sharon's navy bags, while simultaneously entertaining Emily. "He seemed fine. There was no warning. It's always been the two of them. Hell, they got married right out of school, they had Ella and then me almost right away." There wasn't even a full two years between him and his sister, and Isabelle had come along before Andy was completely out of diapers. The three of them had always been close, and he wondered if that was why Caro was so different. "Ma keeps expecting him to come through the door. I know it's the shock, but we're worried about her. Caro is still living at the house, so she won't be alone, but I don't know."

"Your sister is young, but she isn't incapable, Andy." She bounced Ricky in her arms and swayed with him. "I am sure that Caro will do fine, and your other sisters don't live that far away."

"I guess." It wouldn't stop him from worrying about his mother. "Ma wants us to stay at the house. I know we talked about getting a hotel, but I think having the kids there will help. I hope that's okay."

"It is." Ella had already given her the heads up about that. Sharon laid her cheek against the top of Ricky's head. "Andy, we'll be fine at the house. I'm sure you're right. She doesn't get to see the boys often, and despite the circumstances, I would like her to have as much time with them as she can." Whatever issues she had with his mother had no place in their current situation.

"It's not just the boys she's wanting to see," Andy assured her. "She was asking about Emily too. I told you that Ma would come around." Of course, he had to remind himself that was because his dad was so damned fond of the little Monkey too, and that only led him back to the fact that his dad was gone. Andy sighed, and upon seeing the first of his wife's bags, he moved closer to the baggage carousel and pulled it off the belt. The other bag wasn't that far behind, and he grabbed it too. "Is this it?" She told him she was only bringing the two bags, one for herself and Ricky, and another for Charlie and Em, but he wanted to make sure.

"That's more than enough, I think." She lifted Ricky higher on her shoulder and rubbed his back. The baby was beginning to fuss again. "Not a moment too soon, either. Charlie, can you help your dad with Emily, while he gets the bags."

"Sure." Charlie took his stepsister's hand again as they all began to make their way toward the exit. She tried to pull away from him, but he rolled his eyes toward her. He didn't mind Emily, most of the time, but there were moments when she was a pain. His mother told him that was her job as his sister, to drive him crazy. Charlie was starting to think that Emily was really good at it. "Sharon, are we going to eat soon?" He asked. "I'm getting kind of hungry too."

"We snacked on the plane," Sharon told her husband. "Both of them could do with a decent meal." She glanced at her watch and winced. The time difference had put them in New York at the height of rush hour traffic. "How long is it going to take us to get to Brooklyn?"

"It's going to be a while in this traffic," Andy explained, "and Ella was making dinner when I left. We can stop and grab something unless you think they can wait."

"Ricky isn't going to wait." Sharon sighed. "Let's stop and pick up crackers at least. I'll feed Ricky in the car, before we leave. With any luck, he'll fall asleep on the way and the nap will help his mood." It would help her mood too, if she was honest about it.

"We'll feed the kids on the way home," Andy decided. "It'll be getting late when we get there. They can go to bed after everyone has had a chance to see them. I'm sure by then, they'll be asleep on their feet anyway." He had a feeling that she probably would be too, but the kids would be less jovial about it.

"Okay." She guided the kids in front of him while he followed with the bags. Outside the airport, he directed them to the parking garage and the level where he had left the car. A few minutes later, they had found the car, and while Emily got situated, and Charlie helped his dad get the bags into the trunk, Sharon sat in the back with a receiving blanket thrown over her shoulder and fed Ricky. He fell asleep soon after, and as they finally left the airport, they had a quiet, happy baby.

Traffic was just as bad as Andy predicted, and Sharon wasn't sure which was worse, Los Angeles or New York. They stopped to feed the kids, as discussed, and then continued to make their way toward Brooklyn. While Charlie and Emily eventually fell asleep in the car, Sharon enjoyed watching the city as it passed in the distance. She had missed it. She always intended to return, either to visit or to live, she wasn't sure. That hadn't happened, however. Her life had taken another path, and it seemed like so long ago, like a dream really, that she had ever lived and danced here.

When she closed her eyes, she could almost be back in that moment. She could hear and smell all of the sights and sounds, and surroundings of the city and the subway. She could feel the crisp, cool air of an autumn day as she walked from the subway stop to the theater. She heard the clatter of shoes on stairs as she made her way to the third floor dressing rooms and studios. The rasp and brush of toe shoes against a wooden floor filled her ears. She floated on that feeling of nostalgia, let it surround her with warmth.

What would her life be like, she wondered, if she stayed in New York? Would she still be dancing? Not professionally, certainly, but would she be teaching? Or would she have married and had children? She wouldn't have Emily, she knew that much. Ricky, certainly, wouldn't be in her life, at least, not as she knew them now. There would be no Andy or Charlie. As crazy as their lives were, she had a hard time imagining a life without them. Even if she had found her way to Los Angeles and Jack, she couldn't picture herself without Andy. She didn't know if that was a fixture of her own mind, or how things should be, but even as she dozed, as she imagined a life in New York, there he was.

Sharon came awake all at once with the feel of a hand on her arm. Her eyes blinked open and she looked at her husband. She hadn't realized that she had fallen asleep, but now as she looked around, she noticed that the sun had set and moonlight and street lamps lit the interior of the car. She sat up and pushed her hair back from her face. They were parked on the street in front of a tall, brick house. Sharon ducked her head to look at it through Andy's window. "We're here?"

"Yeah." He followed her gaze. A small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "This is home." He looked at his wife again and his smile turned sheepish. "Was home," he added with a shrug.

"Is." Sharon reached for his hand. "It will always be home. I feel the same way about my parents' house in Chicago." She gave his hand a squeeze and pushed her door open. Sharon got out of the car and turned so that she could give the old row house a good look. She could tell, even in the darkness of night, that it was red brick and white siding. It was typical Brooklyn, and that brought a smile to her face. Between the houses on that street there was barely enough space for a person to walk. She could imagine what it must be like during the day, with the noise and laughter of all the children. She could imagine Andy here so easily. Across the car, he had joined her. They shared a look and her eyes softened. "Let's get the kids."

"I'll come back out and get the bags," he told her. Andy opened the back passenger door on his side and reached in to unbuckle Emily's seatbelt. He lifted the little girl into his arms and let her lay against his shoulder. She was stirring slowly. Andy decided to let her wake up in her own time and walked around the rear of the car to wait while Sharon gently nudged Charlie awake. When the boy climbed out of the car, he took his hand. "Come on bud, let's go see your grandma." He glanced at the car. "Have you got him?"

"Yes, we're good." Sharon had leaned across the seat to get Ricky out of the car seat. She held him against her shoulder and drew the strap of the diaper bag over her other as she straightened. "Someone is in a better mood." She kissed the top of Ricky's head. The baby was alert and curious, and much happier than when they had gotten off the plane.

Andy led them up the short walk to the house. When they reached the stoop, he let go of Charlie's hand to push the door open. He shifted Emily in his arms and ushered his son inside ahead of him, then stepped aside to let Sharon pass. They stepped into a small foyer. There was a staircase to one side, and straight back was the kitchen. To one side of the staircase there was a dining room, and on the other side, the house opened up into a large family room. Andy walked forward and glanced into the family room. "Hey ma," he called, "we're back."

It was his sister Ella that responded. She came out of the kitchen to greet them. "Mom is out in Dad's workshop. I sent Caro out to get her." Her gaze swept over the kids and landed on Sharon. A smile curved her lips. "You must be Sharon. It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Ella."

Sharon was thankful that she had identified herself, she honestly had a hard time telling Andy's sisters apart on the phone, the two sounded exactly the same. "Ella," she offered her a warm smile. "I'm glad to be meeting you too, although I wish the circumstances were much different." She stepped forward, and because the woman was family now, Sharon shifted Ricky into the crook of her arm and pulled the woman into a hug. "I'm very sorry about your father," she said quietly, "Michael was very special."

"Yes, he was." Ella felt fresh tears fill her eyes. She had been doing a lot of crying for the past couple of days, they all had. There would be more of it on the horizon, she knew. For now, she swept them away and focused on the children. "My goodness. Is this Ricky? He's already so big."

"He's growing like a weed," Andy quipped, "and he's not the only one." He laid a hand on the top of Charlie's head. "I think we need to put this one in a corner with a book on his head. Maybe he'll slow down a little."

"My god." Ella couldn't believe her eyes. "Hello, Charlie. I know you don't remember me. You weren't much bigger than your brother the last time I saw you."

Faced with new people, in a new place, Charlie leaned back against his father's legs. "Hi," he smiled politely. "Ricky can hold his head up, but he doesn't play much, not yet anyway."

"I guess that would be kind of boring," Ella told him. "Your cousin Tommy felt the same way about his little brother when he first came, but I promise, they get big pretty fast. Ricky will be getting into all of your toys before you know it."

Charlie's eyes widened. He looked up at his father. "Dad?"

Andy grinned. "We'll talk," he told him. His gaze moved to the little girl in his arms. "Ella, this is Emily. She's our resident monkey girl. You'll have to keep an eye on her, she'll be climbing on things in no time."

From the corner of her eye, Ella watched Sharon grow still. Her smile seemed to be frozen on her face. She was sure that she knew the reason for that. There had been more than one conversation held by the family about her brother's new relationship. She could remember very well just how hard he had fallen for Sandra. They all thought that she was the one, and her brother had followed her everywhere, even across the country. Now there was Sharon, and the two of them seemed to be completely crazy about each other. They just didn't know her well, but it was hard to know her when they lived so far away. She seemed perfectly nice on the phone, and the one thing that Ella held on to, was the fact that their dad had become fond of the other woman. " _She's the one_ ," he had told them, " _she'll keep his head on straight_." Ella knew that their mother wasn't completely convinced, but to be fair, their mother was never going to like anyone that Andy was with. He was her only son, and it wasn't as if she needed another daughter.

That wasn't fair to Sharon, something that Ella was perfectly aware of. She supposed it wasn't entirely fair to the children either. They were caught in the middle of this storm. Ella smiled at Emily. The little girl was watching her curiously. With those big hazel eyes and all that dark hair, she wondered if anyone would really believe that she didn't belong with this family. "Hello Emily, you know something," she leaned forward so that she was at eye level with her. "I'm so glad your mom brought you. I've got nothing but boys, and your aunt Isabelle only has one daughter, but she thinks she's too big and too cool to let her Aunt Ella spoil her. I bet you won't feel that way, will you?"

Emily looked from one parent to the other before finally shaking her head in the negative at the new lady. "Nuh uh," she said. "I like spoiling."

Ella let out a chuckle. "Then you will definitely fit right in." She reached out and pulled Emily into her own arms. "Come on, I kept dinner in the oven." She turned and headed back down the short hall to the kitchen, "I know you all must be hungry. Isabelle already took her brood home, but they'll be back tomorrow morning."

"We stopped and fed the kids," Andy told her. With his arms free, he draped a hand over Charlie's shoulder and pulled Sharon close as they followed. "I could definitely eat, though."

"I'm sure that this one will be wanting a bottle again soon," Sharon said. She turned Ricky in her arms, and let him recline against her chest so that he could see everything as they walked through the house. The kitchen was large and airy, with windows that looked out into a dark backyard. There was a table in the corner, and Sharon let Andy guide her toward a chair.

"Yeah, I bet he wants a new diaper too." Andy lifted the baby into his arms. He took the diaper bag from Sharon and pulled it onto his own shoulder. "Go ahead and get comfortable," he told his wife, "I'll be back in a couple of minutes." He bent to press a kiss to the side of her head before leaving the room.

Left alone with her sister-in-law and the kids, Sharon stood again. She guided Charlie into her chair and walked to baker's rack in the center of the kitchen. She watched for a moment as Ella moved around the kitchen, Emily still on her hip, pulling down plates and getting cutlery. "Is there anything that I can do to help?"

"You're a guest," Ella said, and waved her off. "I'm also fairly sure that you've had a hell of a day."

"And I'm sure that you've had a hell of a week." Sharon smiled as she walked over. "Please," She insisted, and placed a hand over Ella's as she started to open the oven. "I can do this, and I'm not a guest," she told her, "not this time."

The two women shared a look. Ella exhaled quietly as she drew away. "Thank you." She stepped back to lean against the counter and adjusted Emily on her hip. "I can already see why my brother chose you." His ex-wife had been a force to be reckoned with, and they had liked Sandra, but she and Andy had been young. There was a lot of passion in that relationship. What Ella saw in Sharon was warmth; and she was open in a way that, if Ella was honest about it, Sandra never was.

"Oh?" Sharon chuckled as she pulled a covered casserole dish out of the oven. She set it on the stove and lifted the lid. She hummed in appreciation when she found baked chicken with mushrooms and onions on a bed of rice. "Why is that?" She continued, not allowing herself to become too distracted by her suddenly watering mouth or the hunger pains in her stomach. "Because I can pull a dinner out of the oven?"

Ella laughed at the carefully quipped response. "Well, that could be it; or maybe it's the fact that you've been here for less than ten minutes and you're already taking over the kitchen."

Any response Sharon might have made was stopped by the back door opening; she put down the plate she was filling for her husband as his mother came into the house. Sharon assumed that the young brunette behind him was Andy's youngest sister, Caro, but it was Carla that held her attention. The woman had always seemed so formidable before, and now in her grief, she looked smaller. She was pale, and her dark hair had lost some of its luster. The gray that peppered it seemed far more noticeable.

"Carla." Sharon walked toward her. She stopped only a step away. "I am so very sorry," she said, her tone soft and her eyes sad.

Her head tilted, and for just a moment, she measured the presence of the younger woman. Carla sighed, she had no time or energy for their usual tension or discourse; she would also never say that Sharon was not genuine in nature, even when she disagreed with her. "So am I." She touched Sharon's cheek for just a moment, and then her shoulder. Carla managed a small, tired smile before her gaze took a turn of the room. She felt her eyes tear when they landed on Charlie. She held out her arms for the boy. "I've been waiting for you."

He crossed the kitchen in just a few strides and wrapped his arms around her waist. "We came on a plane," he told her. "It was really cool. I even helped with Em and Ricky." Charlie tipped his head back and looked up at her. "I'm sorry about Grandpa." He didn't understand, completely, why he was supposed to say that, but his mother told him to.

"I know you are." She cupped his hands. Her eyes filled with tears, but Carla quickly blinked them back. "I'm very glad to see you, Charles. It does my heart good to have you here." She pulled him back into a hug and glanced at her daughter-in-law again. "Thank you," she said, and for once with genuine affection.

"Of course." Sharon nodded once. While Carla had a moment with Charlie, she turned to the younger woman that was hovering just inside the door. "You must be Caro," she held out a hand, "I'm Sharon."

"Yes," she gave her a small smile, "I don't think we've spoken." She shook her head, and sent curls dancing around her shoulders. "I've heard a lot about you." She heard her older sister snort and her eyes widened, "good things, I promise!"

Sharon touched her arm and gave the girl a warm smile. The younger woman seemed to be nervous, but it was a difficult time for the family. "It's okay," she said quietly. "I'm sure that we'll have the chance to talk more soon." She noticed that Ella had finally put Emily down. Sharon drew her daughter toward her when she didn't seem to know where to go. She combed her fingers through her hair and smiled down at her. "Andy is changing Ricky, he should be back in a few minutes," she explained to his mother.

"I can't wait to see him. I'm sure he's changed a lot since the last pictures you sent." They got new pictures every week, and Carla knew very well that it wasn't her son sending them, despite the name signed to the note that always accompanied them. She knew her own son's handwriting, and this was far too neat. From week to week, they could see just how much the baby was growing and changing. He was the very image of his father at that age, just as Charlie had been. Carla smoothed her hand over her grandson's head. Her gaze moved to the child that was leaning against her daughter-in-law's legs. "Well hello, Miss Emily, it's good to see you too," she said, and because her son had decided this one was going to belong to him too, she held out an arm and welcomed her over. She was a slight thing, Carla noticed, and appeared more delicate than she remembered her girls, or Isabelle's daughter being. She supposed, in a group that insisted on only giving her grandsons, having another granddaughter wasn't a terrible idea.

Andy returned while the kids were still saying their hellos. "Looks like we're just in time." He had a happy Ricky against his shoulder. "Hey ma, I found an extra, think we can keep him?" He turned the baby in his arms so that Ricky was facing his grandmother. "He's not housebroken yet, but the wife seems pretty attached. What do ya think?"

"I think he is definitely a keeper." Carla took the baby and brought him to her own chest. "Oh look at you. You have grown. I hardly recognize you." She cupped the back of his head and peppered his face with kisses. The baby only cooed and smiled at her. "Oh lord, help us all, we've got another one." She turned him toward her daughters. "What do you think girls?"

"He's definitely all Flynn," Ella remarked. "By the time he's sixteen, you'll be completely gray," she told Sharon.

"I'll be that way by the time he's five anyway," Sharon drawled, "he's his father's son, and I have the older model to deal with too." She smirked at her husband.

Caro craned her head to look at her sister. "You owe Isa twenty bucks; I think that proves that she knows what she's getting in to."

"What?" Andy gaped at them. "Hey!" A scowl formed. "I can't believe you're betting on me! Who does that?"

"Your sisters." Ella smirked at him, "and we're not betting _on_ you, doofus, we're betting _against_ you. All of our money is on Sharon."

His wife laughed as she turned back to the stove. She lifted his plate, along with a fork and knife, and carried them to the table for him. "Sit down and eat, Andrew. Stop glaring at your sisters."

"But…" Her brows rose. "They—" Her lips pursed. When he opened his mouth again and she folded her arms across her chest, Andy walked over and took a seat at the table. "Yes dear."

Sharon kissed the top of his head. She leaned against his back and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Don't worry, I always bet on you," she whispered in his ear.

Andy tipped his head to the side and looked at her. "You don't like gambling," he reminded her quietly. That her ex-husband had left her, and stolen from her, to indulge in that habit played a big part in that.

"I know." She kissed the side of his head. "I'd still bet on you," she said. Sharon rubbed his shoulders. Emily had wandered back over and was leaning against his side. She smiled when he draped an arm around her; Emily would end up in his lap soon, she knew.

Sharon turned her attention back toward the others. Carla had carried Ricky over and was showing him off to Andy's sisters. The sadness was still there, but the children seemed to have bolstered the older woman a bit. Sharon sighed quietly; bringing them had been the right decision. She squeezed her husband's shoulders before stepping away to fix a plate for herself.

It had been a long day, and it was going to be a long week, but she was glad that she made the trip. Their marriage was still new, and so she was still learning that Andy's family was now hers too. Whatever their feelings about her, they were all connected now, and if she was the one that was going to have to bridge the gap, so be it. She could do that. She loved him enough to try.

 **-TBC-**


	20. Chapter 20

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 20**

"Want to tell me what happened?"

Sharon waited until after everyone had retired for the night to approach the subject of her husband having a hangover. Ella had gone home to her husband and kids, and Sharon learned throughout the course of the night that they only lived a few blocks away. Carla and her youngest daughter, Caro, had each gone to their respective rooms, while Charlie and Emily were next door in the room that had once belonged to Ella and Isabelle. Charlie had wrinkled his nose at sleeping in a room with pink, flowery wallpaper, but the two twin beds would assure that neither of the kids woke up frightened in a new place during the night, or if they did, they would not be alone.

Sharon and Andy would be occupying his old room. Sharon had taken a moment to look around. There were still baseball trophies on a shelf, and a few old posters adorned the walls, but his old twin bed was gone, replaced with a larger one and matching bureau. Sharon kept her voice low as she spoke, to keep from waking Ricky, who was asleep in the small crib at the foot of their bed. It was short, just barely larger than a cradle. Isabelle had brought it over earlier in the day, anticipating that they would need it.

This was not a conversation that she wanted his family or their children to overhear, so Sharon had waited. Now that they had both had a shower and were tucked into bed, she decided it was time. Sharon lay on her side, and watched him in the light from the window on his side of the bed.

"You've been sober for three years," she continued, voice dropping to a soft, almost halting murmur, "what did you do?" She was more worried about him than anything, and hoped he knew that.

Andy drug a hand over his face. He lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. "I'm a drunk," he reminded her. "I did what drunks always do when they can't handle life. I found a bottle of good whiskey and I let it help me forget." His head rolled against the pillow. He wasn't going to make excuses for it. "I couldn't take it," he whispered. "We had to go pick out a casket. It's going to be a while before the life insurance comes through, and the goddamn funeral home wants to get paid before they'll put him in the ground. Ma shouldn't have to deal with that shit right now. A man should go into the ground in more than a plain wooden box because some dirtbag wants to get paid."

The level of his voice had risen until he was almost snarling at her in his ire. Sharon laid a hand against his chest and rubbed gently. She lifted her head and glanced toward the crib, but Ricky didn't stir. "I know, honey," she soothed quietly. "I agree." Her chest constricted. Sharon propped her head in her other hand. It was hard enough to face the idea of having to bury a loved one, but to be faced with financial woes on top of it was unthinkable. "What happened?" She asked, encouraging him to continue.

"I wrote the bastard a check." Andy shrugged at her. "I told Ma to pick out what she wanted, and I would take care of it. We'll be home before the check clears the bank, I'll move it over out of savings, it's fine." He wasn't worried about the timing. Andy sighed again. "I know that's the house fund, but—"

"No." She leaned toward him. Sharon pressed her fingers against his mouth. "Don't even worry about that. It's fine, Andy. You did the right thing. Your mother should not be concerned with these kinds of things right now." They had been putting money aside, when they could, for the down payment on a house. They hadn't managed to save much, at least not yet, but they were doing what they could. Sharon knew that the check that Andy had written would probably make quite a dent, but that was okay. They could afford it. This was family.

"He worked his ass off all those years," Andy said. "He built the shop out of nothing, and he bought Ma this house when Ella and I were still in diapers. They raised four kids, put one of them through college, and to expect her to just…" Andy trailed off and closed his eyes. His jaw clenched tightly when the anger he felt the previous day washed over him again. He thought about his dad, and how he spent years working on other people's cars, but could barely afford the payments on one of his own. Andy and his sisters had never wanted for anything, though. "After dinner last night, I wanted to be alone. I went out to the shop and just sat. He spent a lot of time out there."

"You both did," she said quietly, "didn't you?" She laid her hand against his chest again. As she recalled, the shop behind the house was only accessible from the yard, or the alley that ran behind the row of houses. It was an old garage that his father had converted when Andy was still a child. Michael had spent a lot of time in it, working on the family's vehicles, and later, when Andy was a teenager, they had rebuilt an old Charger together. Michael had given it to Andy when he turned eighteen. Later, when he married Sandra and they moved to California, Andy had left it with his dad for safekeeping.

"Yeah." His gaze drifted away, grew sad again. "I guess we did." They spent hours working on that car, talking football or baseball, or even about girls. That was where he told his dad about the first girl he liked, and had his first beer. It was where he told his old man that he wanted to marry Sandra, and that he was sure that he could love her forever. Andy sat up in the bed with a sigh. He leaned against the headboard. From there, he could see Ricky, sleeping soundly and completely oblivious to all the hurts and mistakes in the world. It would be nice to keep him that innocent forever, but it just wasn't possible.

Already Charlie had experienced fear and sadness. Emily had known uncertainty. They couldn't protect them, not from everything. "I just sat out there, thinking about all the crap I did wrong. The ways I disappointed him. The Charger is still out there. He kept it, all this time. He mentioned it a while back, said it was still running great. He kept it in good shape, that was Dad. There wasn't an engine he couldn't fix or make better." He looked at his wife when she sat up beside him. "He thought we might want to come out, without the kids, if we could manage it, and drive the car back. With the kids it's not really a good family car, but we were thinking in a few years, it would be a great car for Charlie to drive."

"A few years?" Sharon smiled at him. "He's only seven, Andy. I think there are more than a _few_ years before he'll be driving. Let's not rush it." Her hand stroked the length of his arm. "It sounds like you thought about a lot out there. Why didn't you call me?" Her heart ached that he had been here, so far from home, so far from where she could help him. She wished she could have come a day earlier, but it wasn't possible, not with getting the kids situated and packed.

"You were busy, Sharon." He shook his head. "You had to get the kids packed, and you were taking care of all three of them by yourself. I already felt bad that you had to make that flight with them alone. I didn't want to add to it." Andy leaned his head back against the headboard and stared at the ceiling. "It's not like I went out looking to get drunk. Dad liked his Irish whiskey. I found a bottle out in the shop. For just one night I didn't want to feel anything. I wanted to be numb, and I knew that after a couple, I wouldn't care. The only problem is… I don't just want a couple." He looked at her again. "I emptied the bottle. Ella found me out there. We didn't tell Ma. It's probably better if she doesn't know. Ella tossed me into the shower…" he rolled his eyes. "Okay, pushed, and she had Matt to help," he said of his brother-in-law, "afterward, he drove me around until we found a meeting. They told Ma that we were running errands."

"Did it help?" She asked gently. "The meeting?" Sharon couldn't help but worry that this was more than a slip. The potential was always there, he was open about that, but she had never known him while he was drinking.

"I guess." Andy shrugged at her. "It is what it is. I'm right back where I started, just another drunk with a bad excuse for drinking himself stupid."

"Andy." Sharon sighed. She moved so that she was straddling his lap. She took his face between her hands. "Yes, I was busy, but I would have rather you called me than have that drink. Yes, you're going to have to start over, but you did it once. You can do it again. I wouldn't call what happened last night a bad excuse. I'm not going to say that it was okay either," she continued, when it looked like he was going to argue with her. "Your dad died. I think that would have shaken anyone's strength. We'll learn from it," she told him, "and we'll do better next time." There was always loss, and hurt, and heartache. They couldn't hide from it, and he couldn't drink every time he felt like he was lost in it. She couldn't live her life worrying that he would. She had to be able to trust him, and she did, for the most part. She would worry more now, but that trust could be regained.

"I can't promise it won't happen again," he warned her. "It almost feels like now is a good time for you to bail. Get out with the kids while you still can, before I really fuck it up." His voice rasped thickly. Losing her was the last thing he wanted, but the thought of hurting her was even worse. He looked away from her. Andy couldn't stand the idea of her looking at him in the same way that Sandra had, right before it ended. "That's what I did last time."

She cupped his chin and tipped his face toward her. "Do you want me to leave?" Her brows lifted. She could feel his pain, it was bitter and hot, twisting in her stomach and clenching at her chest. "Is that what you want? Would calling this over, ending it now, would that make it easier for you?"

For just a second, he couldn't breathe. His arms moved around her hips. Andy drew her closer. "No," he whispered. "God no." That wasn't want he wanted at all. "I just don't wanna hurt you. I don't want to hurt them," he nodded toward Ricky. "I don't wanna miss out on everything again because I couldn't pull my head out of my ass."

"Then don't." She moved her hands into his hair and tipped his head back. "Fight for what you want. We start over. We don't take anything for granted, and we do better. _We_ ," she said, "not just you. That's the difference between now and last time. You're not alone. I'm not expecting you to do this alone. I don't care how late it is, or how tired I am, or about any of that. Next time you have the choice between picking up the phone and picking up a drink, _call me_. Us. You and me. Our kids. Our family. Our life. Got it?" They had agreed that the only way their relationship could really work was to stay in it, together. That was what had gone wrong in both of their first marriages. They hadn't been on the same page as their partners. She didn't know if they were really doing it right this time, but it felt right. It seemed to be working. Technically they had only been married for a few months, but they had almost three years together. That had to mean they were doing _something_ right.

"Yeah." His hands moved up her back. "I got it." He stared at her, a little amazed at this creature that was in his life. She made demands on him, sure. She wanted help around the house, and the yard mowed. She wanted to know if he was going to be late, and she expected him to do his share of the grocery shopping and bill paying. She didn't want him to cuss around the kids so much, and she couldn't stand it when he left damp towels on the bathroom floor. She also gave more than she took. That moment was a perfect example. When she was looking at him like that, he could almost believe that anything was possible. "Where did you come from?"

"Hm." She shrugged at him. Sharon smiled down at him. "I'm just the girl that dropped her oranges, at the right place, in front of the right guy." She moved her arms move around his neck and let her forehead rest against his. "I love you," she whispered.

"Me too," he rasped quietly. Andy lifted her hair away from her face and cupped her head in his hands. Their lips touched, the kiss feather-light. He drew her down onto the bed again and they lay on their sides, simply watching one another. His fingers combed through her hair, down her arms, gentle touches as he assured himself that she was real and not imagined.

He didn't want to think about his life without her, and it scared him, that he felt like he was balanced on the precipice of finding out. How much could she love him if she knew just how close he came sometimes, to tossing his hands up and giving in to the need to not feel a damn thing? He would lose it all, everything he had that mattered, his kids, her, the life they had. All of it would be gone, and that was reason enough to keep fighting, but there were days when he could imagine the relief at the bottom of a bottle. The world was bright, and hard, and filled with pain and loss. In that moment, though, in that little room, he held on to her, and reminded himself that as long as he had this, there was still light. He just couldn't take for granted that it would always be there.

 **MCMCMCMCMCMC**

Morning arrived much sooner than Sharon would have liked. She didn't sleep much during the night. She lay with Andy, and long after he had fallen asleep with his head against her shoulder, she remained awake. She was hurting for him, but she was worried about him too. It didn't help, either, that she was in a new place, _and_ a new time zone. She managed only a few hours before Ricky began to fuss and stir. She fed and changed him before he could wake the rest of the house, and then lay with him while his father slept. Ricky had dozed for just a little while, but as was becoming his habit, he was up with the first light of day and not at all interested to go back into his crib.

Sharon dressed quietly so she wouldn't wake Andy. The mornings were much cooler than she had gotten used to in Los Angeles. She was reminded of those crisp autumn mornings, walking to the dance studio, and how the air had felt on her cheeks and in her lungs. She had anticipated the cold, and pulled on a sweater and jeans, and then she wrapped Ricky in the fleece baby blanket that she brought with them before carrying him downstairs. The house was still dark, but she wasn't surprised, given the hour. She was careful to keep any noise to a minimum as she moved through the house. In the living room, she found the car seat they had borrowed for Ricky; Andy had brought in the previous night with their bags. She took it into the kitchen with her, and secured it on the table before laying the baby in it.

Ricky watched his mother, wide-eyed, but not really aware of her actions as she looked around the kitchen. He was mostly interested in the sound of her voice as she hummed quietly to him. She found the formula that she asked Andy to get in the pantry, and made up a few bottles for the day. She would nurse Ricky later, and probably take time to pump too, but they had started to introduce formula into his diet as he got older. After the bottles had been placed in the refrigerator, Sharon lifted the baby again and carried him outside with her.

The morning was just as crisp as she had known that it would be. Sharon closed her eyes and inhaled deeply. The familiar ache at too cold a breath felt almost like heaven. She let it out and smiled as she looked around the backyard. There was a wooden porch swing hanging just to her left. Sharon tested it before taking a seat. She pressed a kiss to the top of Ricky's dark head and leaned back with him. They rocked quietly while she watched the sky turn from gray to violet, and finally gold with the rising of the sun.

Her thoughts turned inward, moving beyond the beauty of the sunrise, and the feeling of an autumn morning. She thought of the man she left sleeping upstairs. While the world began to wake around her, with the sounds of traffic and the city reaching her ears, Sharon allowed herself to feel the full weight of the worry that settled across her shoulders the previous evening. Her attention, over the coming days, was going to be getting her husband through his father's funeral and burial, but her concerns went well beyond that. At the end of the week they would be going home. They would step back into their lives, because as sad and tragic as Michael's loss was, life would go on without him. That life would now include a reality in which her husband had picked up a bottle again. In a single evening he had blown three years of sobriety, and if he could do it once, he could do it again.

Sharon was reminded that they had never really, fully, discussed his road to being clean and sober. It was just something he did before they met. It was a part of who Andy was when he came in to her life. It was never a subject that Sharon had to think about at length. Now she had Sandra's voice in her head, and warnings that told of a man who hadn't cared about the life he was blowing apart as long as there was the promise of oblivion in the bottom of a bottle. His ex-wife warned her that he could become belligerent, stubborn, and entirely uncaring if he slipped too far.

For as long as she had known Andy, and she would like to think that after three years she knew him pretty well, the person that he and Sandra described seemed like someone else. She knew a man who felt regret, but was open and caring. He was warm and funny. Yes, he could be belligerent when he wanted to be. He was sarcastic, and she knew his stubborn streak well. She was not blind to the flaws of his personality, just as she was certain that he was aware of and accepted her flaws. Those flaws were part of him, and it was the package that she had fallen for. They had fallen fast; their relationship had its beginnings in passion and an impetuous choice to try, despite the doubts and pains of their past.

It was the past that now haunted her. Jack left when she wouldn't conform to his ideals of what their life should be. She wondered, sometimes, if she would still be married to him if Andy had not come into her life. If the idea of having something else, something better, had not seemed possible, would she have waited for him? She couldn't really answer that question. She liked to believe the answer was no, that she'd have still chosen to be free of the uncertainty and negativity that he brought into her and Emily's life.

That uncertainty was back, although to a much lesser degree. A week ago she thought she knew exactly what the next several years of her life would be like. She and Andy would buy a house, they would raise their children and build a life together. She didn't expect everything to be simple, life didn't work that way. Questions of Andy's ability to deal with his addiction were not part of her picture of their future, however. There was more to loss, she realized, than simply the absence of someone that you admired or loved.

The difficulty of grief would stretch well beyond this week. She knew that. The funeral was an opportunity for closure, but grief didn't simply go away once the final prayers were said. The real work wouldn't begin until she got him home. Back to their life, their jobs, and away from the family that he would worry about.

That moment loomed in the distance, fogging up the picture that previously resided inside her mind. However fierce her concern, so too was her determination. Her husband might be stubborn, but so was she.

Sharon pressed her lips against the top of her child's head again. She thought of the other two, sleeping upstairs. Failure just wasn't going to be an option. She wouldn't allow them to know the loss of a father, and as she recalled the pain Andy felt in those early days of their relationship, she decided that he wouldn't know what it meant to lose his child again. Not if she could help it. Sandra may have known him longer, but she had known him as he was. He belonged to her now. This marriage and their future was theirs, it was about the two of them. While she liked and respected the other woman, and would never undermine her place as Charlie's mother, this situation was going to remain between her and Andy.

With her mind made up, and feeling only marginally better about it, Sharon also decided not to linger outside for too long. She carried Ricky back inside soon after sunrise. With the house still quiet, she lay Ricky in the car seat again, and shifted him over so that it was sitting on the wide baking island at the center of the kitchen. She set about hunting up skillets and pans next; Sharon knew that her crew would be up soon, and the kids would be hungry. Charlie was hitting another growth spurt, and had been eating everything in sight for the past couple of weeks. She kept that in mind as she started making breakfast. The discovery of a waffle maker amended her previous thought of making pancakes. The pantry was well stocked, as was the refrigerator. Milk and eggs were readily available, and so where flour and baking powder.

Sharon continued to sing quietly as she mixed up the batter, and by the time she heard the first sounds of movements on the stairs, she had a skillet of scrambled eggs turning thick and fluffy while she built a stack of waffles. The coffee maker was already filled and ready; she turned it on now that others were waking, and reached out to tickle Ricky's booty covered toes when he cooed to get her attention.

It was Andy, or even one of her daughters, that Carla expected to find in the kitchen that morning. She was surprised to realize that it was her daughter-in-law that was rumbling around, although quietly, and even more surprised to see that breakfast had already been started. She seemed to recall from her previous visits to LA that Sharon was an early riser, and didn't mind cooking. She just hadn't anticipated seeing it in her own kitchen. Carla crossed the room and took down a couple of coffee mugs, before deciding to address the other woman.

"You're up early." The coffee, she noticed, was just beginning to percolate. She pulled her gaze away from the hissing and sputtering coffee pot to inspect the morning's offerings. "You've been busy."

"Well," Sharon offered a warm smile and a shrug. "This one gets me up early," she nodded to Ricky, who was reaching for the toy that was hanging over his head, affixed to the handle of the car seat. "I brought him down so Andy could sleep, and I know that he and the kids will be hungry when they get up, so…" She trailed off with another shrug.

"You didn't need to do all of this, Sharon." Carla wandered over to stand near the island and smiled down at her grandson. "The girls or I could have made breakfast."

"I wanted to," she said. Sharon took another waffle out of the iron and placed it on the ever-growing stack. There was enough batter for a few more, and she thought that might be just enough. She stirred the eggs before filling the waffle iron again. "Besides, I was already up. I came to help, Carla, however I can. Please let me."

Carla regarded her closely. She nodded before turning away. She concentrated on Ricky as a means of hiding the way her eyes had filled. It was different without Michael. Normally it would have been him that she was cooking for this morning. She would be listening for the creak of floorboards overhead, and the rattle in the pipes as water began running in the shower. There was none of that, however. There was only the quiet cooing and gurgling of a happy baby. Carla unbuckled him from the car seat and lifted him. "You aren't nearly as fussy as I seem to recall, Richard."

A quiet chuckle was Sharon's response. She scooped the eggs out of the skillet into a large, glass bowl. "We came to an understanding. The world is bright and loud, but we have toys and food, so he's decided to give it a try." The corners of her mouth twitched with amusement, "so long as he's fed on time, of course."

"Of course." Carla rubbed his back. "Timing is everything. Never come between a Flynn male and his food. That's lesson number one."

"Oh, don't I know," Sharon laughed. "I have two of them now, three when Charlie is with us." She leaned her hip against the counter beside the stove. "Speaking of, Ricky is probably going to want to be fed again soon. There are bottles in the fridge, if you would like to feed him."

"I think I would." Carla lifted Ricky in front of her. "What do you think, Mister Man, are you hungry?" She smiled when he gurgled, and laid him in the crook of her arm. Carla crossed the kitchen and located the bottles that Sharon mentioned while her daughter-in-law started water heating in a pan to warm it. The color had her brows rising. "Formula?"

"Hm." Sharon drew a breath and reminded herself to let Carla have her say. "We started introducing it a few weeks ago. He's a healthy eater and I can't keep up with him. It wasn't like this with Emily," she added, and shook her head. "I'm still nursing, but he was crying from feeding to feeding, and it wasn't colic; he was just hungry."

"You are your father's son, aren't you?" She mused aloud to the baby. Carla carried the baby, and her coffee, over to the table and took a seat. Her lips pursed, and after a moment, she decided against voicing her initial thought. "I'll let you in on a little secret," she said instead, "I had the same problem with Andy and Caro, although you wouldn't be able to tell it from looking at her now. I had to give them both formula too."

"Really." That amused Sharon; perfect Carla admitting that she had been less than a super mother. She took the next waffle out of the iron and filled it with the last of the batter before walking over to lean against the center island. "He's been much happier since we began bottle feeding him more, and he's growing like a little weed. I guess that's all that really matters."

"Have you started him on cereal yet?" Carla sat Ricky in her lap and let him lean against her stomach.

"No." Her head tilted. Sharon moved back to the stove and lifted the pan of warm water off of it. She carried it to the table and set the bottle in it, before placing the pan on a folded dishtowel. "I thought he wasn't old enough for that? The books say to wait until he's at least five months old, that's what I did with Emily."

"That's what the books say," Carla told her with a smile. She watched her daughter-in-law move around the kitchen again. She seemed to be looking for something. Carla smiled. "Bread is in the cabinet over the fridge," she guessed, assuming there would be toast with breakfast. She seemed to have guessed correctly, when that was where Sharon went next. "You can give it to him now," she continued, going back to the previous conversation. "Add about a teaspoon to his evening bottle, just to start. It makes the milk a little thicker, and you'll notice that he sleeps a little longer too."

"Really?" Sharon leaned against the counter beside the toaster. "I've never heard that before. I suppose it won't hurt to try." Getting a little more sleep at night certainly had its appeal, but she knew that wasn't the reason that Carla was telling her. "Thank you. We'll see how he likes it."

"Do that." Carla reached for the bottle after it had sat for a minute or two. She tested it before offering it to Ricky, and laughed when he began to suck greedily. "Definitely do that," she said.

Andy stepped into the kitchen a few minutes later. He was a little wary to find his wife and mother alone together. He looked between the two of them, but saw only smiles while his mother fed his son and his wife seemed to be making breakfast. He scratched the back of his head. They could be civil, but they had never been jovial before. His mother hadn't smiled in days. The oddness of the moment had him watching both of them carefully as he crossed the kitchen. Andy pulled down a coffee cup and considered his options as he filled it.

He could comment on the rarity of the moment, or he could just let it go. Whatever had gone on between them, he was certain Sharon would tell him about later. He leaned back against the counter and surveyed the kitchen while enjoying his first sip of coffee. It looked like Sharon had been up for a while. "Did you sleep at all?" He asked her.

"A little. I'm still adjusting to the time change." She smiled when he continued to nod. He was rather dazed this morning. She knew that he hadn't slept well, he was restless during the night. Sharon reached over and ran a hand down his arm. "Go sit and have your coffee. The kids will be up and around soon. Enjoy the quiet."

"Uh huh." Andy shuffled over and dropped a kiss to her cheek. "Morning." He made his way to the table next. "Morning, ma. Hey buddy…" He passed a hand over Ricky's head as he took a seat. Andy scrubbed a hand over his face. "So what's the plan for today," he asked his mother. He hated to ruin the moment, but he didn't want to talk about it in front of the kids.

Her smile faded; she seemed to grow pale in the warm kitchen lighting. The grief never left her, but the brief interlude in which she allowed herself to think of something else, had ended. Now there was only the longing, and the tightening in her chest as her heart beat to its own rhythm. Carla sighed quietly and shifted Ricky in her arms. "Your sister and I are going to pick out a suit for your dad. We need to drop that by the funeral home, and while we're out, I thought we might take Sharon to see Sister Anna. She'll be watching the younger children during the services," she told her daughter-in-law. "Andy's mentioned that you're using the daycare at the church?"

"Yes." She turned the sausage before going back to buttering toast. Sharon had started going to mass again after her divorce was final. She felt adrift, unsettled at the separation between the teachings of her childhood and the realities of her adult life. She had gone to a few churches before finding their current one. She had felt at ease there. The Priest who had listened to her first confession there was young, nearer to her own age, and seemed to be very open to the world around him, and the difficulties that could be encountered in everyday life. "I went to Catholic school," she explained to Carla, "I thought it would be good for the Emily and Ricky too. The church we started going to in Echo Park has an excellent daycare center, and I was also impressed by the school curriculum." She paused for a moment. "I thought we could leave Emily with the other children too, but Andy and I agree that we will take Charlie to the service." It was never simple when children were faced with death and loss, but they thought that he was old enough to be able to understand saying goodbye to his grandfather.

"I agree," Carla nodded. "She's barely four, that's awfully young. Let her have her innocence for a little while longer. Andy, I think we'll let you mind the children today. We'll take Ricky with us, of course," she lifted him to her shoulder when he finished his bottle. "You should be okay with the other two."

"Yeah." Andy looked at his wife. "I can handle that. I'll show the rug rats the neighborhood. They'll love it. You good with that?"

She met his gaze. It was less a matter of asking her opinion and more a real sense of trepidation. He was wondering if she would leave him with the kids while she was otherwise occupied. Sharon offered a smile. Part of her would worry, but she meant what she told him. She believed in him. "They've missed you. I think it will be good for all three of you. I know that Charlie will be excited to see where his dad grew up, and Emily will be happy just to go along."

"Okay then." He nodded, and felt relief settle over him. It was short-lived, however. Nothing about that trip was simple or enjoyable. The goal was to get through the next few days. Then they would concentrate on the days after that, and then the coming weeks. One day at a time, he reminded himself, and maybe his problem was that he had forgotten that. "Just tell us what you need, ma."

"You can't give me what I need, that's beyond all of us now." Carla stood. "What I think I will do," she told them, "is take this little man upstairs for a diaper."

"Oh, Carla," Sharon wiped her hands and rounded the island, "I can do that. Sit, drink the rest of your coffee and have something to eat."

"No, let me." She rubbed Ricky's back. "He's getting so big. I know I won't recognize him the next time I see him. I'd like to spend as much time with the grandchildren as possible." She heard footfalls on the stairs and managed a small smile. "Besides, I think I hear your hungry group heading this way. I'll be right back."

Andy watched her go and sighed. "How do you figure out how to live without the person that you've loved your entire life?"

"I don't know." Sharon walked over and stood beside his chair. She leaned against him and let her arm drape across his shoulders. "I can't say that I want to know either." She looked down at him. She offered a delicate shrug and a sad smile. "To love someone that long and lose them? It may be inevitable, but I don't want to think about it. I'd rather think about everything else, all the stuff in between." Ultimately that was what mattered, and she wanted to believe they would have that kind of time together, and if they were lucky, they would get even longer.

 **-TBC-**


	21. Chapter 21

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 21**

Michael Flynn was laid to rest on a crisp, Wednesday afternoon in early November. After the services at the church and graveside, the family returned to the Flynn home. A wake followed, with family filtering in and out of the home, along with old friends and neighbors. It felt as though Michael had known just about everyone in the family's small, Brooklyn neighborhood.

It had been going on for a few hours when Sharon finally slipped outside for some air. The kids were still inside somewhere with Andy's sisters and aunts. The baby had been a huge hit, and Ricky was enjoying all of the attention. Sharon had only been mistaken for Sandra twice, and only by distant relatives who had not kept up with the fact that Andy had divorced and remarried. It was awkward, but somehow amusing too, despite the sadness of the day.

What she needed most, at the moment, was air. Andy's family as a lot like he was, or maybe, she thought, she should amend that thought. Andy was a lot like his family. They were loud, passionate, and charming. They were impetuous, and spoke their minds. It was everything that she loved about Andy, but it was also everything that drove her crazy about him.

She leaned against the porch rail and drew a deep breath, one that she let out slowly. The sound of the door creaking as it opened behind her had Sharon glancing back. She wondered if one of the kids had followed, but smiled when she saw that it was Andy. "Hey. It's a little crowded in there."

"Yeah." He rubbed a hand over his face and joined her at the porch rail. "I thought so too." He moved behind her; his hands settled against her shoulders and slid down her arms. Andy captured her hands in his before folding his arms around her. "I think we may have lost Ricky forever," he told her, lips moving against her shoulder as his head dipped. "I don't think Aunt Meg is ever going to give him up." He kissed her shoulder, smiling when she chuckled, and turned his face into her neck. "Pretty sure Ella has decided to keep Emily too. If I wasn't so damned scared of Sandra, I would say let's leave them all here and take off for a week, just us."

"Oh?" Sharon wriggled free of his grasp and turned in his embrace. Her arms moved around his waist. "Sandra is the one that you're afraid of? You understand that she's three thousand miles away, don't you? And I'm right here?"

His lips twisted and pursed while he thought about it. Andy reached up and caught a wispy lock of hair that had fallen out of the braid she had twisted her hair into that morning. "Well, yeah, but you actually like me." He paused when her brows arched. "Most of the time."

"Mmhm." She kissed the tip of his chin. "Most of the time," she repeated. Sharon's hands moved up his back. She tipped her head back and studied him. "You look tired, honey." He wasn't sleeping well. He had been restless every night since she arrived.

"A little." He shrugged. "It's okay." It had been a long, terrible week. He was worried about leaving his mom and sisters, but he also wanted to get home, back to normal, whatever that was now. His hands stroked up and down her arms again. "It'll be better when this day ends."

"Do you really believe that?" Sharon smiled sadly at him. This was a loss that his family was going to feel for a long time.

Andy let go of her with a sigh. He walked across the porch and stood at the top of the steps. He pushed his hands into his pockets and stared out across the yard. "No. Of course not," he replied. "Tomorrow will get here and he's still going to be gone. We'll go home, and we'll get busy, but he'll still be gone. No," he looked over at her, "but it's got to be better than today."

"I don't know." Sharon walked over and laid her hands against his back. They stroked downward as she leaned in to him. Her chin just barely touched his shoulder when she hugged him from behind. "This isn't really something that I've done before. I don't know what to tell you," she said truthfully. Their relationship had always been honest; it was passionate, a little impulsive at times, but certainly honest. "I want to be able to say that I know it will get better, but I just don't. This is just the beginning, I think. There are going to be good days, and bad, and probably some that are just in between the two. There is one thing that I _do_ know," she said.

"Yeah?" He captured her hands, where they rested against his stomach, and held them in his. Andy glanced at her, voice thick. Emotion was rising, and for once the pressure in his chest that he had been feeling since that phone call from his sister didn't seem so close to suffocating him. "What's that?"

"You," she said softly, "are going to be okay." She pressed a kiss to his neck. "It might not feel like it, but you will be." Life was often messy, but she had faith in their ability to work through even the worst of it.

He didn't respond immediately. Andy tugged on one of her arms. He pulled around beside him and turned. His arms folded around her in a hug. "Thanks," he said quietly, and kissed the top of her head.

They stood for a while, arms wrapped around each other. Sharon eventually rubbed her hands up and down his back. "We should go back inside," she told him, "before the family starts missing you." She turned her face into his neck and kissed him again. "You know I love you, right?"

"Hm." He lifted his head and looked down at her. "Yeah? Even with all the baggage, and crap, bad moods and damaged goods?"

"You are not." There was no one that was harder on him than he was. She drew her arms from around him and cupped his face in her hands. "You've got issues, but god knows we all do. None of us are perfect." She moved her arms around his neck. "I know that you are worried about a lot right now, but this, you and me, that's the one thing that you don't have to worry about. Okay?"

He sighed quietly. "Okay." Andy dropped a kiss to her mouth. The door behind them opened as they turned. He kept an arm around Sharon as his mother came out onto the porch. "Hey ma, we were just headed back inside. Are the kids—"

"They're fine." Carla waved him off. She pushed the door closed behind her and stepped out onto the porch to take a deep breath. "I had to get out of there. Your Aunt Katie is driving me crazy."

"Dad's aunt," Andy told his wife. "My grandmother's only living sibling. I introduced you, didn't I?" There had been so many people, and he couldn't remember who all they had spoken to, and who they had carefully avoided.

"I think so." Sharon rubbed his back again. "It's all blending together, was she the one with the dress that—"

"Looked like a quilt?" Carla snorted. "Yes, that's her. It probably was," She muttered. She leaned against the porch rail and shook her head. "I swear that woman has never liked me. She picks at everything. The candles didn't last long enough, the flowers are wilting, one of the altar boys wasn't clean shaven enough…" Carla trailed off with a wave of her hand.

"That's terrible." Sharon could feel the muscles of her cheeks straining as she held back a smile. "I thought it was all lovely." When her mother-in-law only grunted in response, she cast an amused look at her husband. Sharon could understand his mother's mood only too well. "Is there anything that we can do to help, Carla?"

"No," she folded her arms across her chest. "The girls are taking care of all of that. Their cousins are helping them." She sniffed. "Although I'm sure that Aunt Katie will have something to say about that too."

Sharon exchanged a look with her husband. "I'm going to go and check on the kids," she decided. This was not a family dynamic that she really wanted to get involved in, even if she did feel somewhat vindicated by it. Sharon separated herself from her husband and pointedly ignored his almost pleading look. Now would not be a good time for her to mention that she had, indeed, met Aunt Katie, or that the woman seemed to really like her.

Sharon wound her way through the house to check on the kids. Emily was still entertaining one of Andy's aunts, while Charlie was playing with his cousins. She didn't immediately spot Ricky, but Isabelle directed her upstairs. She found Ella in the room that she and Andy were currently sharing. His sister was quietly rocking the baby while he slept against her shoulder. Sharon stepped out of her shoes before crossing the room. Her hand cupped the back of Ricky's head for just a moment before she sat down on the bed beside her sister-in-law. "Do you want me to take him?"

"No," Ella replied, voice hushed. "He's okay. I'm just getting my fill now, before you go home." Her hand stroked the baby's back. "I miss this age. They're so sweet when they're still this small." She laid her cheek against the top of the baby's head and smiled at the woman beside her. "It's different with boys. They get loud, and rowdy, it seems like they're always dirty, or fighting, or…" She sighed, but smiled. "Boys. That's what they are. I love all three of them, but there's this little part of me that wishes they could have stayed this small forever."

"I know." Sharon crossed her legs. "It already feels like he's growing too fast. I wish I could slow it down. These aren't days that we'll ever get back, and since this is it for us, I want us to really be able to enjoy it."

"No," Ella whispered, "you're not calling it already? At just two?" She pouted. "I was really counting on at least three more of these little dolls to spoil," she teased, and swayed with baby.

Sharon chuckled quietly. "Nice try. No, we're done. We talked about it a few months ago, right before Ricky was born. We have Charlie with us half the time, so that gives us the three of them. It's enough. We both came from big families, and we loved it, but life isn't always rainbows and puppies. There's a part of me that would love to stay home with the kids, the way both of our mothers did, but as much as I love them, that's just not me. I love my job, and to have them and it, we have to juggle a lot. It wouldn't be fair to anyone if we added to it. So your brother and I agreed that we wouldn't."

"Hm." Ella smiled brightly at her. "That sounds awfully mature of him." Her dark eyes were sparkling. "I happen to know my brother, though. Something tells me that you said that and he went along."

"Actually," Sharon laughed again, "he was the one that brought it up. He loves the kids, and he's really good with them, and we had a lot of fun while I was pregnant…" Her cheeks colored, but with the knowing smile that she got, and the way the other woman laughed, Sharon knew she didn't need to go into too much detail. "We just want to enjoy the kids, and buy a house, and be a family now."

"You turned thirty and realized you didn't want to spend the next decade changing diapers and rinsing breast milk out of your favorite blouses." Ella nodded. "Yes, I know that feeling. Joe and I had the same talk five years ago. We thought about having another one, trying just _one more time_ for a girl, but at the end of the day, when you're done, you're just _done_." Ella laughed again and rolled her eyes. "Or so you hope. Iz and Sam thought they were finished at two. Little Sam was a big surprise. I have to admit," she leaned close and her voice pitched lower than it already was, "it's a lot of fun watching them scramble to remember how to do all of it again."

Sharon snorted quietly. She pressed her fingers to her mouth. Andy's sisters had both had their children young, forgoing college to get married and have families. She respected and admired the choice, but it wasn't who she was. Honestly, she didn't believe it was who Andy was either. He was a great dad, but she felt like he had been pushed into a mold that didn't quite fit him. Sharon also couldn't help but feel that if it had been solely up to him, Andy would have waited a lot longer before becoming a father.

She touched the top of Ricky's head again. "How are you doing?" She asked, and decided to change the topic. Ella had been spending a lot of time with the children, all of them. She seemed far more at peace with them than she did with any of the adults. Sharon thought she was using that as an escape from the grief and sadness.

"I'm the oldest," Ella admitted. "I feel like I should be taking care of everyone, but… honestly?" When her sister-in-law nodded, Ella sighed. "Andy swooped in on his steed to save us women, and for once, I let him. Now I feel guilty, because it's my job to take care of them, and with everything that happened the other night… I feel like I failed him."

"No." Sharon straightened. She shook her head at the other woman. "You can't think like that. Andy would be the first to tell you that. He's an addict. It wouldn't matter if you were handling everything or not. In that moment, he felt weak. He felt defeated, and he gave in to it. We've sort of put it on the back burner for now, and I don't know if that was the right thing to do, but it's what has felt right. When we get home, I can't say that things will go back to how they were. He has to start over. I don't know exactly what that means, or what it will look like, but it's how things are. Ella…" Sharon sighed quietly. "I'm just glad you were here. I'm thankful that you and Joe knew what to do. That's the most important part. And you know… Andy is just… _Andy_. He would have swept in like he had to take care of you regardless. It is both charming and annoying. Sometimes I don't know whether to kiss him or shake him."

"I am familiar with that feeling too." Ella stood up and carried Ricky to the small crib. She laid the baby on his back and stroked his stomach until he seemed to settle. "Normally it would drive me crazy, but just once… it was nice."

"I can understand that. We don't get an instruction manual for this kind of thing. You've been taking care of your mother, and honestly…" Sharon shrugged at her. "Kids are so young, and innocent, and full of life. I think it's perfectly normal to want to focus on them at a time like this."

The door opened before Ella could respond. Isabelle poked her head into the room. "Hey," she whispered. "Are you still hiding up here? Come to Caro's room."

Ella arched a brow at her. "Why?" Her eyes narrowed. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing. Just come on," Isabelle made a face at her. "Bossy britches. You too, Sharon." She pushed the door wider and waved the two women out. "Let's go."

"This cannot end well…" Ella made a face at her sister-in-law but let herself be prodded toward her younger sister's room.

"Why do I feel like now would be a good time to grab my babies and run?" Sharon left her shoes where they were, and fought the urge to squeak when Isabelle grabbed her arm and gave it a firm tug.

"Because you are wise in the ways of the Flynn," Ella remarked with a smirk.

"Shut up." Isabelle pushed them both down the hall. Caro's door was open. She herded the two women inside and closed the door behind her.

"Hey kiddo." Ella walked over and sat beside her sister. Caro was the youngest, and had always been their dad's favorite, a bit by default. She wasn't surprised to find her pale or looking like she had been crying again. She sat behind her on the bed and wrapped her arms around her. "Okay, Iz, what's up?"

"Glasses for everyone, that's what." She walked over to the bureau and picked up a bottle of red wine that was waiting for them. There was also a stack of plastic, disposable cups. She tossed the cups to Sharon and turned her attention to opening the wine. "I have left Sam and Joe in charge. Andy is looking after mom, and we… are going to polish this off."

Sharon almost fumbled the cups as she caught them. "Where are the kids?" She considered her sister-in-law carefully. "I don't know if this is a good idea… I'm still nursing."

"You pumped this morning," Ella reminded her, "and you've got formula, right?" She rested her chin against her younger sister's shoulder. "You're drinking."

"You _are_ bossy." Sharon rolled her eyes. "Fine. That takes care of Ricky, but Emily and Charlie…"

"Have a dad and two uncles downstairs," Isabelle told her. She popped the cork with a triumphant smile. "We are having a sister moment, and you are one of us now, so…" She held out her hands for a cup and wriggled her fingers.

"Okay." Sharon shook her head as the others cheered. "I want it on the record that I am only doing this under the extreme peer pressure of wanting to be accepted," she quipped, and not a little bit sarcastically either.

Isabelle snorted as she took the cup out of Sharon's hand and filled it. "Wow, you really have gone Flynn. That was such a load of crap. It could have come right out of his mouth."

"Well, she's had a lot of experience with that mouth," Caro drawled. She fluttered her lashes at Sharon when a cup of wine was passed into her hands.

"I thought you were the sweet one." Sharon took a cup of wine for herself and walked over to sit on the foot of the bed. "I can see now that I have been duped. Well played," she toasted the younger woman.

"Okay." Isabelle finished passing out the wine before taking a seat on the wide armchair in the corner beside Caro's bed. She lifted her cup and took a deep breath. "To dad," she began, "there will never be another like him. Long will he be missed, but _we_ ," she said, and looked directly at her younger sister, "will be okay."

The others lifted their cups and echoed the toast to Michael. Silence settled around the room, and for just a few minutes, they sat drinking their wine and remembering the reason they were all together. There was still family downstairs, although the size of the crowd had started to wane with late afternoon. In that small room, they were insulated for the moment. It was just the four of them, and although the reprieve could not last long, for now, they could just be.

When Andy poked his head in a little while later, he found a group of giggling females. Two of his sisters were seated shoulder to shoulder against the headboard, while Isabelle was bent over in her chair, gasping for air. His brows lifted at the sight of his wife, seated on the floor at the foot of the bed, leaning against the mattress, with her shoulders shaking. "So this is why you got the guys to watch the kids? We're all downstairs cleaning up, and you're up here… getting loaded."

"Yes." Sharon lifted her head. She swept a lock of hair away from her face and smiled sweetly at him. "We are. _We_ ," she waved the hand that was holding her wine at her sisters-in-law, "are taking a moment for ourselves. Is that a problem, Andrew?"

"No," he said at length, "but you're a married lady… with a baby. You should be ashamed of yourself," he told her. Andy was trying very hard to sound serious, but his eyes were glittering with mischief. It was a dangerous line that he walking, one that could end up getting him beaten… by all four of them.

"Hm." Her lips pursed. Sharon propped her head in her hand. "You know," she drawled, "you're cute when you do that. When you get all _judgy_ , with your _judgy_ eyes. That's just so sexy. I just don't know how I'm supposed to control myself right now. I really don't."

"I knew you were going to be trouble. I can't leave you alone with anyone." He pointed his finger at her and shook it.

"No. You really can't. The things I do when I'm alone. You would be surprised. All those long nights, when you're working overtime…" She watched his eyes darken and his lips quirk toward a devilish grin. "Oh, the things that I could tell you," she drawled. Her voice dipped, going low and sultry.

"That attitude." Andy sighed, but kept up their playful banter. "Do you kiss your husband with that mouth of yours?"

"Well, I would." She fluttered her lashes at him. "But he leaves me alone, and I have no other choice but to… crawl into bed with sweatpants and fuzzy socks, and get those wonderful, perfect, five hours of uninterrupted sleep."

"That's right. We are living the life." He smirked at her, "and don't you forget it either, baby." His sisters were laughing at them. "Don't do that, don't laugh at us. She's spoiled and she knows it."

"God." Caro snorted. "All this time we thought our handsome and brave brother was living this exotic, star-studded, fascinating life out in Hollywood, and the truth is… you're just a boring old man."

Andy watched his wife crack up and shook his head as he turned. "I think I'll go find the kids. They still appreciate me."

"No," Sharon called after him, while his sisters laughed. "Honey, don't leave…" The door closed and she sighed. "Well. That's one way to get rid of him."

On the other side of the door, Andy heard them dissolve into laughter again. He headed back downstairs, his mother was looking for them, but he would cover. He had a feeling that Sharon was right. Getting through today wouldn't be the end of it, so he was glad that his sisters had each other, and he knew that his wife would keep an eye on them.

Tomorrow was going to come soon enough, and there would be another day, and another. There were not any quick fixes or magical cures, all they had was time, but while they grieved, they would also have to live.

 **-TBC-**


	22. Chapter 22

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 22**

"Home sweet hooo…." Andy trailed off as he opened the door to let everyone into the house. "Change of plans, kids. We've got to go. We've got pests. Someone call the exterminator."

"Oh ha-ha." Sandra placed her hands on her hips and made a face at him. She had come by, as she promised Sharon she would, and opened the house up for them so that it wouldn't be terribly stuffy after being locked up for the entire week. Since she needed to pick up Charlie, it wasn't an imposition. She had also grabbed a few groceries. Milk for the kids, fruit and bread, just a few essentials until Sharon or Andy could get to the store. "You are not as amusing as you would like to think you are, Andy Flynn."

"I don't know," he held the door for Sharon and the kids. His wife elbowed him as she walked past him, but he continued to grin at his ex. "I thought it was pretty funny."

"Mom!" Charlie dropped his backpack and ran to her. He threw his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly. "I missed you!"

"Hey!" Sandra was almost knocked off balance. She bent, hugging him back just as tightly. "I missed you too, buddy." Her hands cupped his head and she tipped it back to drop a kiss to his brow. "How was the flight back?" She asked, directing the question at her ex and his wife.

"Not too bad." Sharon moved further into the house and put the baby's car seat on the floor by the sofa. He had fallen asleep in the car, and aside from a few grunts and kicks, seemed unfazed by being moved. "Ricky doesn't like to fly. We are officially _those_ parents; the ones with the cranky kid that spends most of the flight whining or crying, yes, that's us. It must be karma for every time I rolled my eyes at parents just like us."

"For once I can't be blamed for anything. Do you know how great that is?" Andy smirked at her. The bland look she shot in his direction only made his smile grow wider. "What? It's true."

His wife snorted at him. "In the alternate universe that you like to reside in, perhaps. Think you can do something useful, like go get the rest of the bags?"

"What am I, your personal pack mule?" Andy shook his head as he turned. "Bossy, that's what she is," he muttered, loud enough that he knew she would hear it.

Sharon swept her hair back and turned. She smiled widely at Sandra. "Hi. What I think the doofus we both married meant to say was, thanks for coming by and opening up the house. We really appreciate it."

"It wasn't a problem," Sandra was still chuckling at their antics. "I put the key you left with me on the counter by the phone. I also grabbed a few things at the store. Nothing major," she assured her, "just milk and eggs, and a couple of necessities. Breakfast is covered tomorrow, so you guys don't have to rush out tonight or first thing in the morning."

She felt relief sweep over her. One of the things she had done before leaving was get rid of anything perishable that wouldn't last the week. Sharon smiled. She had been dreading having to make a late or early run to the store. "You didn't have to do that," she replied, "but thank you. That is perfect. We're not back at work until Monday; I can leave the kids with Andy tomorrow afternoon and do the rest of the shopping then." It was a huge weight off, but she suspected the other woman knew that.

"How is he doing?" Sandra jerked her head toward the door. She had called her former mother-in-law to extend her condolences, but with the exception of speaking to Andy the previous evening to confirm flight arrangements, she hadn't really spoken to her ex-husband.

"Hm." Sharon shrugged. "Good days and bad." They had decided that there was no reason to tell anyone else about his slide off the wagon earlier in the week, and were keeping it between them and his sister. "Probably what you would expect of anyone who has lost a parent at this stage in their life. I can't really relate, and I hate thinking about it. He's going to have to work through it, but for the most part…" She trailed off at that, because it was really all that she could say. "I think he's most focused on his mother and sisters right now," Sharon continued. "It's difficult being this far away from them. We were going to try and visit for the holidays, but this trip was completely unexpected. Now I'm not sure when we'll get back out there. I guess we'll have to see how things work out."

"Yeah. Let me know. We'll do what we can to shuffle things around. " Sandra looked down at Charlie and smiled. "Okay pal, it's time for us to head home. Tell everyone goodbye and let's go."

"Okay." Charlie wasn't usually in such a hurry to leave, but after being away for a week, and dealing with so many people that he didn't know, he was ready to get home to his own room and his own toys. He walked over and wrapped is arms around Sharon's waist to hug her. "Bye, Sharon. Thanks for taking me to see Grandma."

"You're welcome, buddy." She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and squeezed him back. "Thank you for being such a big help with the younger kids."

"Yeah," Charlie shrugged at her. "They're okay sometimes." He flashed a crooked grin and swiped a hand at the lock of hair that fell across his brow. "Ricky wouldn'ta cried so much on the plane if Dad hadn't woke him up from his nap."

"What?" Andy carried the bags through the foyer and set them near the stairs. "You little rat!" He pointed a finger at his son. "That was just between us!" They weren't able to get seats together, so Sharon had taken Emily with her while Charlie had stayed with him. They had traded Ricky during the flight, and for one short interval, he had actually fallen asleep. The baby wasn't sleeping all that deeply, however, and woke up when Andy shifted to get more comfortable in his seat.

Charlie laughed. "Oops."

"So the truth comes out." Sharon folded her arms across her chest. Her lips pursed while she studied her husband. "What do you have to say for yourself now, hm?"

He opened his mouth to respond, but quickly closed it. He flashed his most charming smirk at her instead and shrugged. "I love you."

Sharon rolled her eyes at him. "Nice try." She picked up Ricky's car seat and the diaper bag. "I'm going to take this guy upstairs. I bet he'll appreciate sleeping in his own bed. Emily, you and dad can decide what to order for dinner. Bye Charlie. Sandra, thank you again."

"You'll pay me back sometime." Sandra watched her go with a half grin. She turned to her ex-husband and shook her head. "You are such a jerk sometimes." She walked over and punched his arm, then leaned in to hug him. "I'm sorry about your dad. Michael was a great guy. I'm going to miss him." That he loved his grandson was obvious, but he was always kind to her, even after her marriage to Andy fell apart.

"Thanks." He gave her a quick squeeze before they separated. His attention went to Charlie. "Hey pal. We'll try to do something more fun next weekend, okay?" He ruffled his hair before pulling him close for a hug.

"Okay." He moved away from his dad after a couple of moments and picked up his backpack again. "Mom, can we get pizza?"

"We can do that." She retrieved her purse from where she had left it and followed him to the door. "I'm starving. We should get extra cheese."

"Yeah!" Charlie glanced back and waved one last time before going out the door. "Bye dad!"

"Later bud." Andy watched them go. Once the house was quiet, he looked around. He ran a hand over his face before sighing. He felt something tug on his pants leg and looked down.

Emily was standing there, head tilted to the side. "I want pizza too."

"With extra cheese?" He reached down and lifted her up. Andy wasn't actually hungry until they mentioned it, and now he was starving. He settled Emily in his arms and walked toward the kitchen. "Pepperoni or sausage?"

"Both!" She decided, and smiled at him.

"Good choice." Andy carried her into the kitchen and sat her on the counter. There was a cabinet against the wall where the phone was hanging. He opened the drawer and flipped through it until he found the menu for the nearest pizza delivery.

Once the two medium pizzas were ordered, Andy looked around the kitchen. He found fresh bananas and oranges in the fruit bowl on the center island. "Sandra wasn't kidding, huh Monkey?" He took one of the bananas and peeled it. He offered half of it to Emily and left her seated on the counter with the snack while he checked out the beverage situation. He found milk and juice, but the fridge was otherwise pretty sparse. He closed the door as Sharon came in to the kitchen. "I ordered pizza," he told her. Andy jerked his head toward the fridge as he walked back over to lean against the counter beside Emily. "One of us is definitely going to have to hit the store tomorrow."

"While the other one takes care of the laundry and watches the kids," she smirked at him. "Flip for it?" Sharon leaned against the counter on Emily's other side. The baby had woken up when she moved him from the car seat to the crib, but Ricky was tired enough that he had gone back down without too much trouble.

"And miss out on the Saturday afternoon cart derby at the _Sack and Save_?" Andy dug into his pocket, looking for a coin. He came up with a quarter that he wiggled at her. "You're on babe."

Sharon's hand closed around his before he could give the coin a flip. "I don't know if I can trust you. Maybe I should do that." If there was any chance at all for Andy to get out of laundry, he would do it. She couldn't blame him. She did it too. It was a really good thing they had uniforms to fall back on for work attire.

His jaw dropped open. "Are you impugning my good name?" He looked down at Emily and hooked his other thumb toward her mother. "You gettin' this kid?"

"No," Sharon said at length. "I am flat out maligning you as a cheater." She worked open his hand, trying to get the coin. "If there is any way at all to stack a coin toss, I know you've figured it out."

The toddler looked between her parents. She chewed on her banana for a moment before flashing a smile at her dad. "Cheating is bad."

"I don't believe this!" Mock incredulity filled his tone. "You call yourself my wife…" Andy twisted his hand out of her grasp and held his arm aloft, out of her reach. "I would _never_ cheat you out of pairing and rolling socks. Now you've got my own little Monkey siding against me, too? I'm hurt, Sharon. I'm really hurt."

"Yes." She poked his stomach, eliciting a groan. "You are going to be." His arm dropped and Sharon twisted the coin out of his hand. She backed away from him and held it in front of her with a grin. "I hope you're ready to spend the afternoon with a stain stick and lint roller, Flynn."

Emily was laughing at them. It was hard not to smile at her humor, but Andy did his best. He pointed a finger at his wife and shook it. "Baby, you never had towels so soft as when I get a hold of the _Snuggle_." He lunged before she could flip the coin and caught her arm. She tried to dart around the center island, but Andy tugged her to him. His arms wrapped around her, even as she twisted. He pinned her hands against her chest, and her back to his front, then started trying to pry her fingers open so he could get the coin back. "Now who's cheating?"

"That would still be you," she replied, laughing as she wriggled against him. "Otherwise known as the big baby who also happens to be a sore loser. I am just protecting my right to a fair and judicious contest of chance." She pressed her closed fists against her chest, beneath her breasts and attempted to twist in his arms.

Andy grunted when she stomped on his instep. "So that's how it's going to be?" She had tossed him on his ass more than once in the gym. Andy knew she wasn't to be underestimated. He lifted her off her feet and turned his face into her neck. He found the spot at the crook of her neck nuzzled it, making her twist and laugh.

"No!" She dug her elbow into his stomach. When he didn't let go of her, Sharon reached for one of his hands. She twisted his thumb back until he howled and released her. She kept him pinned by just his thumb and gave her other wrist a flick. The coin was tossed into the air. "I'm calling it. Tails."

"No you're not." He grabbed her side with his other hand and went for the spot just above her hip and toward the small of her back. He wriggled his fingers against the muscle, without squeezing too hard, causing her to jerk and release him. The coin hit the floor and bounced. He let it go and decided to focus on his wife. He wrapped his arms around her again and backed her into the counter. "I don't know whether to be less worried, or more, about you joining the rat squad. You play dirty."

"I thought you liked it when I play dirty?" She tossed her hair back and smirked at him. Sharon's eyes sparkled. Her cheeks were flushed from their little impromptu wrestling match. "I am concerned about your sudden fixation with rodents, though. Maybe I should let you sleep outside with them?"

"Maybe you're just afraid that you're going to get stuck with the socks and ketchup stains." He planted his hands against the counter on either side of her, pinning her, and grinned crookedly at her.

"Is that—"

"Momma. Daddy. Stop!" They'd lost their amusement factor when they stopped wrestling. Emily held out her hand. "Give it to _me_ ," she demanded, doing a suitable imitation of her mother.

They both stopped what they were doing and looked at her. There was a rather comical glare on the little girl's face. "Now look what you've done," Sharon drawled. The corners of her mouth twitched, and she only barely managed to hold back a smile.

"Nuh uh." Andy shook his head. "You started it." He moved away from her and stooped down to pick up the coin. He walked back over and dropped it in Emily's outstretched hand. He pointed at Sharon with his other. "She did it."

"Oh hush!" Sharon pushed his shoulder when she joined him. They stood with Emily between them. She folded her arms across her chest. "Call it," she instructed.

"Fine." He mimicked her pose. "I've got heads. Go ahead Monkey, give it a toss. Just remember, Dad—"

"Ah!" Sharon pointed a finger at him. "Do not try to lure my daughter into your lying, cheating ways, Detective Flynn."

"I was simply encouraging _my_ little girl to join the winning side, Sergeant Flynn." He smirked at her. "I don't see anything wrong with that!"

Emily heaved a sigh at them. "Do you want me to toss it, or not?"

Andy snorted a laugh and quickly looked away. He covered his mouth with his hand. His shoulders shook with silent laughter. Sharon folded her lips together to keep from joining him. She cleared her throat and looked toward the ceiling. She knew that if she looked at either her husband or her daughter, she would lose it. "Go ahead, baby." Her voice trembled with barely contained mirth. "Give it a toss."

She gave the coin a toss and they watched it fly through the air in a slight arc. It hit the floor and bounced a couple of times before rolling across the tile and finally coming to a stop against one of the baseboards. Andy walked over and bent to look at it. "Does that laundry include ironing?"

"Yes, it does." Sharon folded her arms across her chest again. "So who gets to have all that starchy fun?"

Andy picked up the coin. "Best two out of three?"

It was the hopeful expression that gave him away. Sharon laughed. When the doorbell rang, she shrugged at him. "I'm afraid that's all the time we have for games right now." She lifted Emily off the counter. "You and I will go set the table and dad will get the pizza."

He groaned. It was going to be a full day of folding and ironing for him. Andy pushed the quarter back into his pocket. "I reserve the right to plea bargain later," he told her.

"No deals, Detective." She grinned at his retreating back. "Hey, Andy…" When he glanced back at her, she smirked. "Those towels had better be super soft." His grumbling made her laugh. She looked down at Emily. "Good job!" She bent and kissed the top of her head.

Andy smiled to himself as he walked through the house. It felt good to laugh again, even if it meant doing the one chore he disliked most.

 **MCMCMCMCMCMC**

Long after dinner had been eaten, and both kids were in bed, with the bags unpacked and the house quiet, Sharon finally revisited the subject of her husband's drinking. She waited until they were home to discuss it again because she wanted them both in familiar, comfortable surroundings before they tackled that issue together.

She would be lying if she said she was unaffected by it. She had chosen to believe in him, however. It would be another lie to say that she hadn't watched him closely the past few days. To trust him meant pushing aside that voice in the back of her mind that questioned where he had been, and what he had been doing when they were apart for more than a couple of hours. It was simply not an obstacle they could deal with while they were still in New York with his family.

Sharon sat on the edge of their bed, waiting while he brushed his teeth. She had already taken her turn in the bathroom, and while she reclined against headboard, her pillows piled behind her, she reflected on the last evening they spent in this room. It was difficult to believe that only a week had passed, so much had already changed. She was even now considering if making a career change was a good idea at the moment. Sharon chewed on the corner of her lip. That sort of upheaval might not be the best idea, but having a more stable schedule would certainly be a benefit. She thought her mind was made up a week ago, now she would have to give it more thought.

When Andy stepped out of the bathroom, Sharon's attention shifted. She watched him cross the room and sit down on his side of the bed. He sat there for a moment, his back to her, and she waited until he finally turned and lay back on the bed before her brows rose in askance. "Have you called Pat yet?"

He sighed quietly. "No, not yet. I'll do that tomorrow." Calling his sponsor while they were out of town wouldn't help. He knew what the other man would tell him to do, get his ass to a meeting. That was exactly what Andy had done. He would go to another meeting tomorrow, and he would call his sponsor. The two would meet and talk, and he would start over. Andy bent his arm and folded it behind his head. He looked up at his wife. "I wanted to get us all home first."

"Is that a reason or an excuse?" The question was asked bluntly. She knew that she had to do it, even if it hurt to test his motivations. It was what he expected of her in this situation. Andy had told her as much, the morning after she joined him in New York. It was how they would face his addiction together. There was a fine line, however, between helping to hold him steady and nagging. There was a part of her that was worried about crossing that line, and whether or not it would push him further away from the sobriety that he held on to for the last few years.

Andy turned his gaze to the ceiling while he thought about it. Was he putting off the inevitable? Pat was going to have his ass. He had rushed into a relationship with Sharon, despite his sponsor's advice to delay and move more slowly. It had taken them a couple of years to get to this point, sharing a family and building a life together, but his sponsor was always preaching caution at him. It wasn't just his life he would screw up if he fell off the wagon. He considered that, everything that was hanging in the balance, and what had gotten him to this point.

"Reason." Andy told her finally. His dad had passed away. He never had the opportunity to introduce him to his youngest grandson or to really show him that he was strong enough to be even half the family man his father was. Regret and grief were his excuses for picking up a bottle again. He knew he would be able to numb the pain, and he allowed himself to do it. Andy knew what he had to do to get back on track, but he waited until he got his family home. Not to put it off, but to make sure that they were all where he felt like he was better able to take care of them, specifically, by taking care of himself.

Sharon was silent for a moment. She scooted down in the bed and rolled on to her side. While she lay there, facing him, she thought about his response. She had already asked him what he needed her to do. Just being there, calling him out, not allowing him to get complacent again, that was how she was going to help him. Other than that, this was something that he had to do on his own. "I was thinking about work," she said quietly. "It may be a good idea to put off the transfer to IA for a few months. If you need to scale back for a while, I can take a few extra shifts."

"No." Andy rolled on to his side to meet her gaze. "We can't do that. Take the job, Sharon. You want it. I'll be fine." Cutting corners wasn't going to get him anywhere. Avoiding stressors didn't remove them. It would all be waiting for him, piling up, and make everything worse.

"I'd rather not add to what we have going on right now," She explained. "It wouldn't be permanent. I could—"

"You can take the job now," he interrupted. "Sharon, now or later doesn't change anything. It really doesn't. I gotta figure this out. Besides." He shrugged a shoulder and smiled crookedly at her. "You'll probably be really good at it. You like rules."

"Not as much as you like breaking them," she quipped back. Sharon drew a breath and let it out slowly. "Okay. I still have to take the Detective's Exam. It's going to be a couple of weeks before that happens, so we have a little time."

"I can help you study." He waggled his brows at her. "I aced that one." He had managed, somehow, to pass the Sergeant's exam too. He was crediting her with that.

"Somehow," she replied in a dry voice, "I suspect that your idea of studying and mine are not the same." Having experienced it with him before, it was more than a suspicion. Andy seemed to think that he should be rewarded for correct answers… and not with gold stars.

"Probably not." Andy leaned over and pressed a light kiss to her lips. "Too bad, I was going to let you be teacher's pet."

She smiled against his lips. "Hm. I'll think about it." Sharon lifted a hand to his cheek. Her thumb stroked the line of his jaw. "I love you. We'll get through it."

"Yeah." He wanted to believe her. He almost could. Andy just knew how far he could fall. He was afraid of going back there. He remembered what it felt like, walking out of rehab, and realizing that there was no one waiting for him. He could recall the long, cold, lonely nights before he met her. Part of him felt trapped, like he was stuck between pain and darkness, and one wrong move would bring everything crashing around his ears. "I'll call Pat tomorrow," he promised. His sponsor would understand it.

"Okay." She believed him. Sharon moved closer to him. She slipped her foot along his calf, smiling when his eyes narrowed at how cold her toes were, and then tucked her foot between his ankles. She kissed the tip of his chin, and when his arm settled around her waist, she closed her eyes. "Tomorrow," she repeated. "Tonight, just hold me."

"I can do that," he rasped quietly. He kissed the top of her head. Andy curled his leg around hers, and rubbed her foot between his, until her toes began to warm. "I can always do that," he whispered. If for just a moment, he allowed peace to settle over him. He closed his eyes and coasted on the feeling. He didn't know how long it would last, but he let it warm him.

Sharon folded her arms between their bodies. The back of one hand rested against his chest, and she gently stroked her fingers against his t-shirt clad body until she felt him relax. When his breathing grew even and deep, her eyes opened again. In the dark, she listened to his soft sound of his snoring. It was familiar and soothing in its own way. Sharon let it comfort her. A terrible week was ending, but their work was just beginning.

 **-TBC-**


	23. Chapter 23

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

 **A/N:** My apologies for the delay, I took some time off to vacay with my besties.

* * *

 **Chapter 23**

 _ **2017**_

Sharon stared at the sky overhead. The sun was going down now, and the sky was lit with deep hues of scarlet and gold. Behind her, rescue personnel continued to sift through rubble. The radio that she was using to speak to Andy on had gone quiet. He stopped answering her while she was lost in memory. They had no way of knowing if he was unconscious, or if the battery in his radio was just depleted. He wasn't answering his cell phone either. She thought that surely, if he was conscious, he would let them know that he was okay; that he would check in at regular intervals. She decided he must be saving the battery. Sharon didn't want to think that it could be anything else.

The fear was there, however. It was a cold fist that squeezed her heart tightly. What would be waiting for them when the rescue team finally got to where he was trapped? Was he going to make it out of this? Or was _this_ finally it. Was she a fool that had started to believe that he was indestructible, that despite everything they faced before, there was no obstacle in their path that was completely insurmountable? Was this the price for that blind arrogance?

Sharon closed her eyes against a fresh wave of pain. It was becoming increasingly hard for her to breathe, and she could only imagine what Andy must be feeling. Was he still able to feel anything? Those thoughts were at war within her mind. Part of her wanted him aware, awake, and waiting for the rescue that would eventually come. Then there was that part of her that hoped he couldn't feel the pain that his injuries surely must be causing him.

They had given her a full rundown of what Andy had told them. The leg was problematic, but it was the internal injuries that were the most concerning. The clock was ticking, and unfortunately for all of them, it was winding down to nothing.

"What happened?"

Her eyes opened and she looked at Charlie. Now, more than ever, she was aware of how much like his father he was. He had arrived an hour ago. Sharon held off contacting the kids for as long as she could, for as long as she dared, really. She didn't want them here, in this hell, but the longer Andy was trapped, the more she knew this might be their only chance to speak to him again. Now he wasn't answering, and she had to question if she waited too long.

Charlie had arrived a little while ago. Ricky was still on a plane, and Emily… Sharon's breath caught in her throat. There was a fresh knot of pain. It made it difficult to swallow, and even harder to speak. The pain moved downward and her chest tightened, while her stomach clenched. Emily was furious with her. It would be hours before she could get there. Even now, Sharon knew that her girl was scrambling to get to the airport, to get on a flight from New York to Los Angeles.

The years didn't matter. Neither did the struggles or the fights. Emily was still close to Andy. He belonged to her. More than her brothers, or even her own father; they had chosen each other. Heartache and shouting matches, miles of distance, periods of not speaking to one another, none of that meant anything in the long run. They were both passionate and stubborn. It didn't matter how often Jack came into her life, or how long he stayed before he eventually left again, Emily knew who her father was, and she was trying to get to him before it was too late.

Sharon pushed those thoughts aside. She would bear the blame if it was too late. In the end, they would all lose him, but if anger got her kids through it, she could take it. Sharon forced herself to exhale and folded her hands together in front of her. She considered Charlie's question. He wasn't asking about the building collapse. They had already discussed that. He had received a full update from the fire chief. She shook her head at him. With his shirtsleeves rolled up and his tie hanging askew, she could have been looking at Andy, as he was when she met him. The eyes were the difference. Charlie had always had his mother's bright blue eyes. They could sparkle with amusement or cut you with a look. Her head tilted, and Sharon fought the urge to reach out and touch the scruff that was covering his chin and jaw.

None of their children had chosen to follow them into law enforcement. She and Andy had discussed that at length over the years. It was a relief, but a tiny part of her felt a bit bereft at it. She knew Andy felt the same way. It would have been nice to pass some of what they had experienced on to the others, to at least one of them, but at the same time she was thankful that her children had forgone the pain and stress that this profession could cause. They had lived enough of it through their parents. They knew the long hours. They understood the fear of the phone ringing in the dead of night when a parent was on duty. Their own spouses and children would be spared.

A soft smile tugged at her lips. It was sad, and a bit haunting. As much as Charlie was his father's son, there was also a good deal of his mother in him. It could be found in the wicked sense of humor, the kindness he had for others. She also saw it in his love of learning. Like his mother, Charlie had chosen to teach. He had inherited her love of math and science. He also had his father's love of sports. He taught three math classes at LA City College, but he was also on their baseball coaching staff. He was happy, and he felt successful, that was all that she or Andy had ever wanted for any of them.

He was staring back at her. There were so many questions in his eyes, and so much fear. Her silence was frustrating him too. That was his father. Sharon lifted her arms and folded them tightly against her chest. She was brought back to his question. Charlie had been there long enough to hear some of her reminiscing. She kept talking, even when Andy stopped responding, in case he could still hear her. She didn't want him to feel alone, especially with the darkness of evening descending on them now.

"We didn't want you kids to know that we were struggling," she said quietly. "The months after your grandfather passed away were hard for us. Your dad understands his sobriety better than anyone. He knows what works for him, and what doesn't. He can take care of himself, but it was hard won, Charlie. When I met him, knowing that he was an alcoholic was just something that I was aware of. He didn't drink. He didn't go out to bars, and he was careful if we were at parties or events where alcohol was being served. For me, the first few years that I knew your dad, it was just part of him, like he had told me that he was allergic to shellfish or something."

It was far more complicated than that. Sharon knew that now. It was something that she had to learn. She couldn't be the partner that Andy needed without experiencing it with him. Remaining sober wasn't just something that she could ask him to do; she had to take part in it. She learned a lot about self-care and enabling during those months. Sharon's gaze drifted and she shook her head. "He went to meetings, and he spoke to his sponsor. I went with him to some of them. We learned to be brutally honest with each other. When he wanted a drink, he told me. We fought, more than we ever had before, but we couldn't let anything fester. We just put it all out there, and didn't allow ourselves to be afraid that it would push each other too far."

Charlie stared at her. He knew there were days when he wasn't with them. He lived with his mom, visited on the weekends during that time she was talking about. "We never saw you fight," he pointed out. "Nothing ever seemed different. I know Rick was too young, but Emily and I never noticed anything weird about you guys. I know we were all sad about Granddad. I remember that, but how did we not know you guys were fighting?"

He had loved his weekends with Sharon and his dad. It was his other home. They played ball. He and Emily played hide and seek. He had memories of early morning cartoons, wrapped in a blanket on the sofa, Sharon sitting between them, just the three of them. Even after Ricky was born, that was their time. He joined later, when he was old enough, but Charlie had loved those mornings. Afternoons meant tossing a ball with his dad, or going to a game. They had wrestled, played with cars or trains, or whatever he was in to at the moment. As he got older, he helped his dad in he garage, sanding or building shelves, or even working on an old car.

His brows drew together in a frown. Charlie shoved his hands into his pockets. "Is that why dad started spending so much time in the garage? He always had a project. He was always building something, or fixing something." He shook his head, a small smile appear, though it faded quickly. "He built you that ugly shelf that we put in the living room. God that thing was horrible."

"Hm." Sharon nodded. "Yes, I remember." It was slightly lopsided. It was his first attempt at building anything from scratch. He wouldn't paint or stain it; he thought the natural wood should go unblemished. When they finally bought a house and moved into it, Sharon convinced him that it didn't match any of the furniture. It ended up staying in the garage, a storage place for his tools and gadgets. "That was part of it," she answered. "When he first got sober, your dad worked a lot of overtime. Part of it was because he was struggling financially, but it kept his mind engaged. It kept him too busy or too tired to think about how lonely he felt, or how much he was missing you and your mom. After your grandfather died, that wasn't an option. Yes, the money would have been nice, but your dad knew that he couldn't spend all that time away from the house. He didn't want to miss out on time with any of you." She shrugged and offered a small smile, "or with me. Building things, fixing his car, that became something that he could do at home. It also reminded him of time that he spent with his father, when he was young. That you got to join him, I think it helped a lot. We had several very difficult months, but we got through it. Andy knew that he had more to lose by picking up a bottle again than it was worth to feel even a moment's sense of numbness. "Your dad started to feel like _his_ dad was watching him. That if he worked hard enough, tried hard enough, that he could make up for all the ways he disappointed everyone when you were just a baby. There were times when I felt like he was putting too much pressure on himself. Pat, I'm not sure you would remember him, he was your father's sponsor for a long time, and he told me that no one would ever be harder on Andy than _Andy_ was." She shrugged. "He was right. Your dad can worry himself into a corner like no one else that I know, except maybe you or Ricky."

"I guess I never realized." Charlie looked at the ground between them. He scuffed the toe of his shoe against the pavement. All those years, when he thought of the struggle that he heard his parents talk about sometimes, he never realized that it was _that_ bad. They always made it look simple. At least, until it wasn't; if he had to pick out a time in their lives when he questioned the strength of their relationship, it would be the last decade. He couldn't recall them fighting when he was a kid, because they didn't do it in front of him, or where his siblings could see it either. As he got older, he started to realize when things weren't exactly great between them. They would try to act normal, but by the time he left for college, he could easily pick out cold silences and angry glares. Where, exactly, things began to crumble and fall apart, he didn't know. They wouldn't tell him. He looked at his stepmother again. This time he felt like she _owed_ him an answer. "Did he fall off the wagon again? Is that why you left him?"

She felt winded by the question, but Sharon knew that she should expect it. The kids had a lot of questions. She could give him the usual response; she could say that relationships were complicated and it was none of their business, but this time Sharon sighed. "I didn't leave your father," she said quietly. "He left me." She saw the surprise in Charlie's eyes and looked away. "Life is hard, Charlie. We make mistakes, and sometimes, the biggest mistake that we can make is to let go when we should hold on. I let go. I was holding on to the wrong thing. I forgot that we're a team."

"My whole life, I never thought anything would break you apart," he admitted. Charlie shrugged at her. "I don't remember a lot about not having my dad around. I know it happened, but when I think about being a kid, he's there. I know that I was really angry with him for a while, and I know there was a time when I was crappy to you, but you guys became my safe place. I could scream and throw things, and that was okay, because you would always be there."

Sharon pushed away from the truck that she was leaning against and moved to stand beside him. She folded her arms around one of his and leaned against his side. "I know that was a rough time for you, it was for all of us, but it wasn't what broke your father and I. Our relationship was strong for years, Charlie, at least we believed it was." Life was the true test, and they thought that losing Michael was the hardest thing they would have to face, but they were mistaken.

"What do we do, Sharon?" Charlie sighed. When he looked at the remains of the building, it all seemed impossible. "He's not getting out of this one, is he?"

The words were hard to form. They got stuck in her throat. She leaned her head against his shoulder and blinked against the sting of tears. He sounded so small. He could be a child again, a little boy, asking her to make everything better again. "I don't know," she whispered. "I don't want to think about the alternative, but this time, I just don't know."

"Do you still love him?" He honestly wondered at that. Lately, talk of divorce had been making the rounds between him and his siblings. He knew the word had been voiced, and by which parent, he wasn't sure. They hoped the separation would be temporary, but that didn't seem to be the case.

"Yes." She didn't have to question that. Sharon didn't have to think about it. "Whatever happens, that will never change." She only wished they had remembered what it was to fight for each other before it was too late; when she thought back on their life, it was hard to believe that they had come to this moment. There was a time when it felt like nothing could defeat them. Nothing, she guessed, but time.

 **-TBC-**


	24. Chapter 24

**The Edge of a Dream**

 **by Kadi**

 **Rated M**

 **Disclaimer:** This is not my sandbox. I only enjoy playing in it.

* * *

 **Chapter 24**

 _ **1991**_

Sharon jumped when the stack of papers landed on her desk. She was focused on the open file in front of her and hadn't heard anyone approach, least of all her husband. She looked up when he dropped into the chair beside her desk. Then she glanced around the busy bullpen. She was in the middle of her first solo case. Her training officer was still shadowing her, but she was running point on this one. She had been in Internal Affairs for only a few weeks, just long enough for Sharon to realize that everything that she thought she knew about the LAPD was just scratching the surface.

Her eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here?" She was surprised to see him. Most officers stayed as far away from this section of the third floor of Parker Center as they could. They only came here when it was necessary, and usually when they were forced. Her husband was no exception to that rule. Even with her transfer to Internal Affairs, Andy hadn't changed his practice of staying away from IA, so she had to question what had brought him there this time. "What did you do?"

"Nothing, yet." Andy slumped in the chair. He looked around the bullpen and his lip curled. He recognized several faces. It had the tension that he was already feeling curling more tightly between his shoulder blades. Most of these guys were assholes in his opinion, but he promised his wife that he would try to be objective from now on. He agreed to give it a chance, to at least try and understand that they were doing a job that was necessary, even if he didn't like it. "I just thought I should give you a heads up," he grumbled. "I'm about to go out and find a worthless piece of shit and beat the holy hell out of him. You might have to get me out of jail later, and failing that, you should know that it's okay with me if you use the Visa to get some new sexy panties for all our conjugal visits."

Sharon blinked at him. He wasn't making a lot of sense. The words made sense, but not the meaning. She reached over and laid her hand against the top of his head. Then her fingers combed through his hair. When he scowled at her and batted her hand away, she arched a brow at him. "I was checking for knots. You obviously bumped your head, so I was looking for signs of injury. Should I call EMS? Do you need a doctor? Maybe you should lie down."

"Funny. You're a real comedian, Sergeant Flynn." He folded his arms across his chest and glowered at her. "I'm not joking, and I didn't hit my damned head. I'm serious." Andy nodded at the papers he dropped on her desk. "Sandra's lawyer sent that over. It didn't make any damned sense, so I went and saw her. She's dropping the alimony and changed her mind about selling the house."

"What?" Sharon gaped at him for just a second. His statement was far more surprising than his presence there. They had no indication at all that Sandra was considering changing the divorce arrangement. The last few months had been difficult for them, with Andy's father passing away and his struggle to stay sober following his slip immediately after Michael's death. "Why?" She lifted the papers and began flipping through them. The section that pertained to spousal support was highlighted for Andy's review. There was a note that he should have his lawyer review it, but nothing stood out to her as immediately concerning… except the fact that it was filed. The custody arrangement was remaining the same. Sandra wasn't asking for more child support. She was simply choosing to stop the original order that called for spousal support to be paid until she remarried or Charlie turned eighteen. "What did she say?" Sharon wasn't going to say that she was sorry that they would have one less expense every month, but she was worried about the other woman. This was the sort of thing that she would have expected Sandra to discuss with them first.

"Well, that's why I'm about to go kick the hell out of someone," Andy drawled sarcastically. "She's pregnant." He sat forward in his chair and draped his arms across his knees. He shook his head and looked at his wife. Her face reflected the shock he still felt. "That son of a bitch David knocked her up. She hasn't heard from him since the night we chased him out of there, but he definitely left something behind. She doesn't want to contact him, and I can't blame her. I don't want that asshole around Charlie, and neither does she." Andy sighed. "She's known about it for a while. She's been trying to figure out what she was going to do about it." He was so furious that he couldn't really see straight. Sandra wasn't his concern, not anymore, but she was his son's mother, and she had been his wife. He wasn't in love with her anymore, but he still cared about her. Their marriage was broken because of him, and he still felt bad about that. God only knew that he loved Sharon. He wouldn't give her or their kids back for anything, but there was a part of him that was always going to care about Sandra. Even when she drove him crazy, or made him mad, he just wanted what was best for her… because ultimately that was what was best for Charlie.

"Obviously she's decided to keep it?" Sharon turned her chair so that she was facing him. She leaned closer and touched his arm. Her voice grew quieter; they were struggling to keep their personal life out of work now that she was essentially _on the other side_ , in LAPD terms. It didn't matter that they were all one department; Internal Affairs would always be considered outside the norms of the department. They couldn't let it affect them, though. Their relationship was separate of their careers, or so they were attempting to establish. "Andy, this isn't our decision. We have to respect Sandra's choices."

"Yeah, I get that." He bowed his head for a moment and tried to hold his frustration back. It wasn't Sharon's fault that he was feeling like this. "That bastard used her, and when he got caught, he hit her. Now this? She's already got Charlie and a failed marriage. Now she's going to be raising another kid on her own, with a dad that doesn't need to be anywhere near it, and she's giving up the alimony because she said that I don't need to pay for her mistakes." He looked up at his wife. His eyes were dark and pained. "That's exactly what she said; that we didn't need to pay for her bad choices. She's keeping the house because she knows she can afford it without the alimony, and moving into something smaller isn't an option now."

Part of her could understand that. She couldn't fathom the financial situation, not yet. Sharon knew that Sandra didn't make a lot as a teacher, but she got by. The child support would help. She would need to think about it more, but she couldn't say that she disagreed. Andy was feeling bad for his ex-wife currently, but that was his need to protect. It was something she loved about him, even when it annoyed her. He could be so utterly macho, and he rarely saw it as a bad thing. She gave his arm a squeeze. "Listen, Andy, she isn't wrong. I won't say that I think the alimony was a bad idea, at least while she was getting back on her feet after the divorce, but it has been a few years. Sandra is working again, and her life is her own. The two of you share a child, and that is never going to change. You both have to be on the same page where Charlie is concerned, but you also both have the right to live your separate lives. You are doing that. You have remarried and had another child. We're moving forward with Emily's adoption, and none of that has anything to do with Sandra. Her relationship with David didn't have anything to do with you. I feel badly that it ended the way it did. I would like for Sandra to find happiness in her personal life, the way we have, and I think that is still possible, but this…" She waved a hand at the papers. "This is not a bad thing. Sandra is taking responsibility for her life, the same way that you did after the divorce. You are going to continue to support Charlie, and we will be there for her however we can, but it's _her_ life."

"Yeah, I know that." Andy heaved another sigh. "I'm not saying that I expect us to keep paying her, I just… dammit." He rubbed a hand over his face. "I wanna shake that asshole. Not because I'm jealous or anything," he added, in case his wife thought his frustration was coming from some deeper place. "I know Sandra. I know this isn't how she expected that her life was going to turn out. We had a lot of dreams when we got married." He rolled his eyes. "Okay, _she_ had a lot of dreams, and none of them really panned out. She wanted the house, and the kids, and the damned picket fence."

"Andy." Sharon shook her head at him. A smile spread across her face. "Honey, she has all of that. The marriage may have ended, and her relationship with David might not have worked, but the rest of it did. She has Charlie, and a beautiful home. She has the dog, and there may not be a picket fence, but the two of you chose a house with a yard that is more than suitable for children to play in. While it might not seem like it right now, this baby isn't the worst thing that could happen."

"No. It's not," he agreed. Andy sat back and slumped in the chair again. "I mean, it's kind of a relief, because that's money that we can put in the house fund. I'm not going to argue about that, I just wish there was a way we could help her. One kid is hard enough, but two…" It was going to be a struggle, and not only financially. Sandra would be juggling a lot, and she didn't have a partner, not like he did. He looked at his wife and shrugged. "I can feel bad, right?"

"Of course you can." She sat back and crossed her legs. Sharon folded her hands together in her lap. "I think some of your concern is a little bit on the chauvinist side, but I know that your heart is in the right place. The thing that you have to understand is that Sandra is not incapable. How would you feel if her position and mine was reversed? Would you think that I couldn't raise Emily and Ricky on my own? It would be hard, but it isn't impossible."

"Of course not." He frowned at her, because the idea of leaving her with the two kids bothered him. It would mean that he'd lost them. Or that she had lost him. It was a reality they lived with in this line of work, but they tried to live as if it wasn't. "You were doing just fine with Emily. Hell, you do just fine every day. Even with Charlie in the mix, you've got everything figured out. I just…" He shook his head. "I care about what happens to her. We were married, and it's not like I stopped loving her. I screwed it up." He winced, because he realized what that sounded like. "You know what I mean, at least, I really hope you do."

"I do." The corners of her mouth twitched toward a smile. "It's the same reason that a part of me worries about where Jack is, and if he is okay. He ruined a lot of what I used to feel for him, but I loved him, and he gave me Emily. The opposite of love isn't anger, Andy. It's indifference. That's the one thing that I know that we are never going to feel toward either of our exes."

He stared at the ceiling for a moment before he nodded. "Yeah," he finally agreed. "I know." He didn't like to think about her feeling anything toward Jack, but he understood it. This was one of those things that they just had to accept about each other. "I'm still going to beat the hell out of that son of a bitch," he muttered, and when his wife rolled her eyes at him, he added with a shrug, " _if_ I ever see him again. Not like that's going to happen anytime soon."

"I should hope not," she drawled, a hint of warning in her tone. Sharon shook her head at him again. "I think he's a complete jerk too, but I sincerely believe that we have seen the last of him. At least, so long as Sandra is sure that she doesn't want him in the kids' lives?"

"She's sure." Andy straightened. He rolled his shoulders. Some of the tension was fading. It helped to talk it out with his wife. She understood him, often in ways that he didn't understand himself. "She's not going to tell him, and she doesn't expect to run into him anywhere. She hasn't heard from him, and has no idea if he's even still in town or anything. She's about three and a half months gone already. She wanted to be sure she was keeping it before she told anyone," he explained. "She's not that close to her brother, and her sister doesn't really care. Her parents wanted her to move down to San Diego, and she says she thought about it," he watched Sharon's eyes widen. "Yeah, I had that response too. Sandra isn't going. She isn't going to pull Charlie out of school, and she likes where she's teaching. She doesn't want to take him away from us either, even if it's only a couple of hours."

"You told her that we would help?" Sharon asked. "However we can?" Sandra had been a huge help to them when Ricky was born, and again when his father passed away. Sharing Charlie between their two households was made easier when they communicated beyond just drop-off and pick-up. It made life a lot smoother for all of them, especially the kids.

"Of course. What else was I going to say? Hang on, let me ask my wife first, but I think we can do the decent thing and be there for you?" Andy rolled his eyes. "I'm an ass, and I know sometimes you think that I'm a macho jerk, but I'm not a complete moron. I figure by the time she's due, Ricky will have grown out of a lot of the baby stuff we've got. We can pass a lot of that over. I know she's going to want to do a lot of new stuff, but we've got her covered on some of the gear. We're not going to need it again, right?"

"No, we aren't." Sharon was still planning to get her tubes tied, but it was a more invasive procedure than Andy's vasectomy. That was something that he had done a few weeks before, once they were certain, without any shadow of a doubt, that they were not having any more children. He had simply taken a long weekend, missing only two days of work. Sharon's recovery time would require a week of missed time. It wasn't that they couldn't afford it, but she had just started a new job, and so the timing wasn't spectacular. "That's definitely something that we can talk to Sandra about. She's welcome to anything that Ricky has grown out of. Her brother and sister really don't care?"

She found that so hard to understand. Andy was close to his sisters, and even though he wasn't as close to Caro as he was Isabelle and Ella, he still cared about her. He made a point of checking up on her. Sharon was certain that it was frustrating to the other woman. It was something she understood, because her brothers did the same thing. Alan was helping them with the adoption, at least as much as he could from Chicago. Grant and Paul called often, and there were even tentative plans to get the family together that spring. Her parents wanted all of the children together, with their families. It was something they wanted to begin doing each year. Joseph and Vivy would prefer doing it during the holidays, but that didn't always work out. She and Andy hadn't been able to get away for the last couple of years. They had wanted to go east and visit his family again, but couldn't manage the trip so close to having gone out for his father's burial in early November. This year they were going to try for early spring or summer, depending on school schedules for all of the grandchildren.

"Shelly has always been pretty self-involved," Andy told her, shaking his head at thoughts of his former sister-in-law. He hadn't gotten along with the woman, but at the time, it didn't matter. Sandra didn't always get along with her either. "She married Eric while they were both still in college. His parents are pretty well off. His mom was an actress on some show." He rolled his eyes again. "Sandra's parents were never poor, not by any means, but Shelly has always acted like she's above the rest of the family. Sandra really wasn't surprised when she didn't help out when their mom had the wreck last year. Yeah, she had the new baby, but she hasn't been involved with the family since she started seeing Eric." He would probably never understand how anyone could turn their back on family. Where he came from, it just wasn't done. He and Sandra had moved to California so she could be close to her folks because she missed them, and he felt like it was the right thing to do. "Henry is just an asshole," he said, describing his ex-wife's brother. "He was the youngest, and maybe that's it, maybe they spoiled him. He's only a couple of years younger than you, but he's not exactly what I would call reliable."

"There's still time for him to grow out of it then," Sharon pointed out. "It doesn't matter," she decided. "We can help Sandra however she will allow us, but we will _not_ get involved in her life choices," she cautioned. "Charlie is our focus, and beyond that, Sandra is a friend. We wouldn't want her involved in our life, would we?"

"Alright, I've got it." He made a face at her. "We'll help, but only as much as we're asked or needed. Now that we know, she's going to tell Charlie. She wanted the paperwork on the alimony dissolution done before she told us."

"That's understandable." Sharon was certain she would have made the same choice if she were in Sandra's position. "Then we'll be ready in case he has any questions. Until then, you are going to calm down and behave yourself." She picked up a pen and pointed it at him. "Don't think that I won't throw the book at you if you get picked up for assault or excessive force."

Andy snorted at her. "Oh, I know I'm screwed if that happens." She was going to treat him like any other troublemaking cop, but he knew his wife. She would hold him to a different standard, expect him to be better because of her, and because he had no excuse to claim that he didn't _know_ better. Andy shook his head and took a moment to look around the bullpen again. "Why are they staring at us?"

She smirked at him. "Well, it is unusual to see anyone down here without an appointment or being forced to meet with us. Knowing you, as we all do, I'm sure they're wondering what you've done."

"Nothing." A slow grin spread across his face. His dark eyes gleamed with mischief. "But can we still play good cop, bad cop when we get off work later?" His brows bobbed up and down. "I gotta say, I was kinda worried about all this, but you're kind of hot sitting there in your little rat suit." Her work attire had changed with the transfer. Like the rest of them, the detectives in Internal Affairs did not wear their uniforms unless the occasion specifically required it. These days she left the house in slacks or a skirt, and he had to hand it to her, all those well-tailored blouses that were hanging in their closet now looked very nice when she was wearing them. His gaze dipped, just for a moment, and he enjoyed the hint of cleavage that he could see between the parted folds of her shirt. The blouses were cut to fit her body, and somehow she had taken everyday business attire and made it sexy as hell. Or maybe that was just her, because heaven knew his wife was sexy any day of the week, no matter what she was wearing. In her crisp blouses, dark blazers, and pencil skirts, she had a no-nonsense look that was driving him wild.

"Andy." Sharon sighed at him. She appreciated, on a personal level, the way that he was looking at her. After two kids, and the fact that one of them was only five months old, she would be lying if she said she didn't get a little thrill out of having her husband look at her in exactly the way that he was now. He still desired her, something that she was a little self-conscious about after having Ricky, but she hadn't needed to be. They might not have a lot of time for each other, and their sexual relationship wasn't as spontaneous as it used to be, not when a good deal of their time was spent with three kids, but it was still just as passionate. The only problem was that it was their _personal_ life, and it had no place at work. She knew that she would never be asked to investigate him, it was an ethical conflict of interest that she would never be expected to cross, but she still had to remain objective. They both needed to maintain a professional distance.

"Stop it," Sharon instructed, an edge to her tone. "I'm not going to warn you again. You need to rein that in, unless you'd like to spend the next several weeks in whatever seminar I can drudge up for sexual discrimination." When he snorted at her, Sharon's jaw clenched. "I'm not kidding, Detective. Get yourself under control." She drew a breath and let it out slowly. "Look, Andy, I'm sorry. I should have insisted that we excuse ourselves to talk about Sandra, and that's my fault. The rest…" She shook her head. "We can't do that, especially not here."

He rolled his eyes toward the ceiling above them again and sighed. "Okay, fine. You're right. It's kind of hard, though," he grimaced realizing how that might sound. "Difficult, it's difficult," he amended. "You make it seem so easy, separating everything. Maybe it's good that we don't work in the same division. I'd put my foot in it even worse than I'm doing right now." She was a cop, and a damned good one, but when he looked at her, he saw his wife. He couldn't turn himself off and on the same way that Sharon could. It was something he was still learning how to figure out. He didn't know if he ever would.

"It isn't always easy for me either, Andy." She knew the realities of their job, and what he faced every day. She worried about him. She just couldn't allow her thoughts to linger. "We'll talk more later, I promise. For now, I really need to get back to this," she waved a hand at the open file on her desk. "I'm sure that you should be getting back too."

"Yeah." He pushed himself up with a sigh. He was tempted to lean over and kiss her, but that would definitely get him in trouble, and with more than just his Sergeant-Detective-Internal Affairs wife. "I'll see you tonight. Have fun playing with your rat friends," he added with a grin.

Sharon rolled her eyes at him. "Enjoy the trouble that we will be cleaning up for you later." So far, no one had been called on to deal with his division since her transfer, but Sharon knew it was only a matter of time. That would prove interesting, she was certain. Sharon watched him go and drummed her nails against her desk. Her thoughts turned back to Sandra, and the surprising turn of events there. She had a feeling that life was about to become more interesting. They would never be able to claim that it was boring.

With a sigh, she turned her chair back to its original position and put her attention back on her work. She would never be able to truthfully claim that her mind didn't wander throughout the remainder of her day. She thought of Sandra, and how that news was going to impact Charlie. She also thought of her husband. The way he looked at her was proving to be a distraction, and that was even more reason why she would need to stress professional distance. When her thoughts strayed toward what they may, or may not, be doing later that evening, she concentrated on the fact that she was annoyed with him. It wasn't completely successful, but it got her through the day.

He was who he was, and she couldn't change that. She knew who she married. They would do better. Sharon knew that Andy would try. She could trust him to do that much, and at least their contact at work was limited. She missed seeing him throughout the course of their day, but they had never worked together, not directly. Those moments were few, and that was what had made it special. Now they just had to buckle down and understand that work was _work_ , and the rest belonged at home.

Sharon picked up both kids from daycare on her way home from work. Then she had a few errands to run before finally getting the three of them home. She wasn't at all surprised that Andy beat them home. They traded off picking up the kids most weeks, depending on whether or not he was in the middle of a case. It was Sharon's week to take care of drop-off and pick-up, something that was made easier now that her hours were more stable.

"Okay my darlings, we are home." The SUV came to a stop in front of the house. She parked it alongside Andy's smaller car, the little hatchback that she had been driving when they met. It still ran well, but wasn't practical with three kids, especially when one of them was in a car seat. Emily had only just graduated to a smaller booster seat, and they could manage in the car when it was needed. The larger vehicle just made it easier for them to move around the city as a family. Sharon slid out of the truck and walked around to open the passenger door. She drew her purse and Ricky's diaper bag over her shoulder before stepping back and opening the back passenger door.

Ricky smiled when she leaned over him, revealing perfectly pink gums and a single, hard won tooth. "Hello my little drool monster." She worked open the clasps of his car seat and lifted him out of it. Ricky had grown out of the infant seat, another reason they used the larger vehicle for ferrying the kids around the city. It was a hassle to move his car seat back and forth between the two vehicles, and Sharon didn't see the reason to buy two of them, not when she and Andy could just trade cars each week. Sharon held the baby in her arms and adjusted the two bags before holding out her other arm for Emily. "Come on, darling. Let's go see what dad is up to." She held Emily's hand while her daughter jumped down out of the vehicle. Then she reached across and snagged her backpack. She passed it to her before guiding her toward the house. Emily ran ahead, while Sharon strolled along at a more sedate pace.

"Can we make brownies tonight?" Emily waited for her by the door. She was playing with the strap of her bag while she twisted back and forth, balancing on the ball of one foot. "Or do I have dance?"

"No, dance is tomorrow night." Sharon shifted Ricky in her arms so that he was resting against her hip and reached out to open the door. "I'm not sure we have everything for brownies, but we can check." They had been running low on cocoa the last time they made some, and Sharon couldn't remember if she had bought more or not since then.

"Yay!" Emily ran into the house once the door was open. "Brownies!" Her bag was tossed toward the sofa on her way to the kitchen. It hit the side and bounced off onto the floor, but she paid it no mind.

"Emily." Sharon sighed. She shook her head. She closed the door behind her and moved into the living room with Ricky. She dropped her purse and the diaper bag on a chair and stepped out of her heels. She groaned in relief. The new pumps had been pinching her toes. They were sensible enough for the office, but still needed breaking in. Sharon took a moment to wriggle her toes before she finally turned. Andy's jacket was thrown over the back of the sofa, and she rolled her eyes at the sight. She put Ricky in his playpen before she made a quick circuit of the living room. Emily's bag was picked up and placed on a chair. Then she grabbed Andy's jacket and hung it on the newel post of the stairs. "Emily, did you find dad?" Sharon lifted her purse before leaving the room. Her holstered gun was inside. Sharon took the weapon out of it before hanging the purse on a hook near the door, and then opened the hall closet to put it in the lockbox where she and Andy both stored their weapons. She made sure that it was secure before following her daughter into the kitchen.

Emily was already standing on a stool and gazing into the pantry. Andy was at the counter, shirtsleeves rolled up and tie removed, slicing vegetables for dinner. It was the tall arrangement of flowers, in a lovely crystal vase, that immediately caught her attention. He had placed them on the center island, where he knew that she would see them first thing. Sharon tugged her bottom lip between her teeth as a smile formed. It was a lovely arrangement of white and orange daisies. Anyone else might have bought roses, but Andy knew these were her favorite.

Sharon found the card, tucked in front where she couldn't miss it. Her name was written in a familiar scrawl, telling her that he had not only stopped at the florist on his way home, but he had written it himself. The smile she was attempting to hold back blossomed brightly when she turned it over and read the message he had written.

 _I'm sorry for being an ass._

 _I love you,_

 _Andy_

She sighed, and made a low, wistful sound. Sharon closed her fingers around the card, careful not to bend it, and walked around the island to join him. He had stopped slicing vegetables at this point, and was watching her. There was a sheepish, lopsided smile on his face. "I love you," she leaned up to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, "even when you're an ass," she added. "Thank you, they're beautiful."

"Not half as beautiful as you." Andy shrugged at her. It wasn't a line. He knew that he was a lucky bastard, not only because she was beautiful, but also because she had taken a chance on a guy like him. She was warm and giving. She put up with his moods, and was helping him through his addiction. She treated Charlie like he was one of her own, and trusted him to do the same with Emily. She had given him Ricky, and they were building a life that he thought he'd missed out on with his past screw-ups. Even after everything that she had been through, she felt like he was worth loving. He was thankful for that, and for her, every single day.

Sharon touched his cheek. She kissed him again, this time allowing her lips to linger against his. "We'll do better next time." He was forgiven, but it wasn't forgotten. When he nodded in response, she knew that he understood.

" _Mom_." Emily huffed a sigh. Her hands slapped against her legs and she tossed a plaintive look at them. "I can't find the cocoa!"

She rolled her eyes at her husband. "Brownies," she told him. She slipped away from him and joined her daughter at the pantry. "I told you, Emily. I don't know if we have everything." She wrapped an arm around her daughter and looked over her head. She gazed at the shelf the baking ingredients were on. Sure enough, she didn't see any cocoa powder for making the brownies. Sharon's lips pursed. "What if we make cookies instead?" She lifted Emily off the stool and set her on her feet. "I know we have chocolate chips."

Emily leaned against her mother's hip. She tipped her head back with a groan. "I really wanted brownies," she pouted.

"I know, honey." She swept her daughter's dark hair back. "We can do that this weekend. We will go to the store when I pick you up after school on Friday, and the two of us will get everything we need to make lots of brownies. Okay?"

The little girl sighed, but nodded. "Okay." She wrapped her arms around her mother's legs and hugged her. "But we can still make the cookies tonight?"

"Yes." Sharon chuckled. That was Andy's influence, and no one would ever convince her otherwise. There were moments when she could see Jack in her daughter's personality, and other times when Emily was all hers. The rest of the time, though, she was all Andy. "We can still make the cookies tonight. Go wash up and we'll get started."

"Okay!" Emily gave her a squeeze before skipping out of the kitchen.

Sharon shook her head as she moved the stool and closed the pantry door. From the living room, she could hear Emily chattering happily at Ricky, explaining that they were going to have cookies, but not him. Babies could not eat cookies. It was attention that her daughter was searching for, something that they could do together that wouldn't include her baby brother. "I think it's time for another Mom and Emily day," she told Andy.

"Yeah." He was smiling as he swept peppers off a cutting board and into a waiting skillet. They sizzled when they hit the heated olive oil. "I think you're probably right. Why don't we plan on that this weekend? I'm not on call. The two of you can make a day of it on Saturday, and I'll keep Ricky. We'll hang out, just us guys." It wasn't their weekend to have Charlie, and both football and baseball were in the offseason. Andy was sure that he could figure out something to do that he and a drooling, teething five-month-old could enjoy.

"Hm." She thought about it. "I think I like that idea." Sharon smiled. "We can go shopping, maybe get our nails done. Then we'll come back here and make those brownies." She would see what movies were playing that would be age appropriate for Emily, and the two of them could do that too. Now that the idea was planted, Sharon was looking forward to it. "Consider it a date." She would wait until Friday to tell Emily, just in case things changed at work for either of them, but if Andy caught a case, she could get a sitter for Ricky for a few hours.

"That's something else we should do soon," Andy told her. "A date, just you and me. It's been a while." They had only been out without the kids a couple of times since Ricky was born. It was harder getting a sitter with an infant, but not impossible.

"We should," she agreed. Sharon walked over and leaned up to kiss him again. "I'm going to go and change. Think about what you'd like to do. We'll find a night next week." Most of the time they ended up going out as a family, but he was right. It had been a long time since it was only the two of them.

"Actually…" Andy walked over and picked up a card he left lying on the cabinet near the phone. He waved it at her. "We have been invited to an engagement party. It's happening the week after next. Mike finally popped the question. He and Cathy are getting married." He had ridden with Mike Tao on nights back when he was still pulling extra shifts in patrol. The other officer had finally moved on from patrol. He was a tech with their crime scene division. He was quickly becoming their go-to for fingerprint and data analysis, and definitely Andy's favorite down in the lab. "We can swing by the party, but we don't have to stay long. Make a night of it."

Sharon walked over and took the invitation. "Good for him. Yes, we can definitely go." Her lips twisted into a playful smile as she considered his plan for the rest of that evening. "Dinner and dancing?"

"Yeah," he grinned back at her. "If that's what you want to do. Or we can just grab a late movie, whatever, as long as it's you and me."

"We'll talk about it later." She really did need to get changed if she and Emily were going to get those cookies made and in the oven before dinner was finished. Sharon handed the invitation back to him. "Maybe, if you continue to behave yourself, we can also discuss spending some time together tonight, just you and me, after the kids are in bed."

"God woman, I love the way your mind works." He watched her saunter out of the kitchen. He knew the added sway in her step was for his benefit.

Sharon laughed at the low whistle that followed her out of the kitchen. She stopped in the living room to check on Ricky, but the baby was happily drooling on one of his teething toys. She left him where he was, since he seemed perfectly content, and jogged up the stairs. Despite the odd turn that the day had taken, the evening was looking bright. The weekend held more to look forward to, and she was excited for both events that were on her horizon. She would take care of her girl first. Then she would spend time with her love. It felt a little like life was beginning to even out again. Whatever it was, it felt good, and they could all use a little more of that.

 **-TBC-**

* * *

 **A/N:** Just in case you were wondering, this Andy went to all his follow-up appointments. If you don't know what that means, I suggest you go read my friend **xbleeple'** s lovely Shandy A/U.


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